The Mindset to Lead the Unleadable

People who practice mindful meditation maintain that it changes their mindset and that change in how they think leads to different, improved behaviors. Scientists such as Sara Lazar, Ph.D., of the Massachusetts General Hospital Psychiatric Neuroimaging Research Program have reinforced those anecdotal claims by showing through brain studies that the physical brain actually changes as well.

Changing how we think physically changes us!

Championship athletes frequently discuss how they work hard on their bodies and also on their mindsets. Jack Nicklaus, who won a record eighteen professional major golf championships, speaks often about how he visualized his every shot before he stepped to the golf tee: “I ‘see’ where I want it to finish, nice and white and sitting high on the bright green grass.” My favorite quote by Muhammad Ali is “I am the greatest. I said that even before I knew I was.” That is the quintessential representation of mindset in that it defined clearly in his mind how he would think about himself and represent himself to the world.

When we change our mindsets that changes how we act in response to the events that occur around us. How we act changes the outcomes. To be able to best manage the mavericks, cynics, divas, and other difficult people and situations, we have to first change our frames of reference in how we think about them.

This chapter describes the key elements of the mindset for leading the unleadable.

• KEY #1 •
Appreciate The Diversity Of Every Leaf

I really enjoy going for long walks or runs through the trails, woods, gorges, and general wildness that surrounds where I live. What amazes me is how in spite of many plants’ similarities, close inspections reveal that each one is different. Even if you inspect the leaves on a single tree, you will find differences among the leaves.

When I travel around the world to other forests, deserts, canyons, and all the diversity I find our world has to offer, it just becomes more amazing.

The same is true when I work with various organizations around the world. I find that, as in nature, the diversity of culture is a rich, textured tapestry of where we have all come from with our unique backgrounds.

When I work with teams in India I find different thought processes than when I do work in South Africa. When I do work with teams in San Diego, California, I find they work differently from teams in New York City.

Besides the different experiences people have due to growing up male or female, research shows that male and female brains are hardwired in different ways such that males and females actually think differently.

Exceptional leaders more than understand this diversity, they love it! First, it is important to recognize that we all have similarities that have great value. Communication could not happen at all without that! The secret is to understand that the diversity that always exists produces some “noise” in our communications.

When someone speaks to another person, each sentence has a unique context that includes their own background, how they think about things, how they learned the language in which they speak, and their assumptions about the current circumstance. When another person listens to that person they go through all of their own filters that are different from those of the person speaking. The more differences among their filters, such as growing up in a different country or in a different economic strata, the more likely that the differences between the meaning the speaker intended and the meaning the listener heard are significant.

This noise can cause confusion or, worse, lead to mistaken assumptions that lead to anger.

This is important! Exceptional leaders know that when encountering some behavior or action that appears unacceptable, their first thought should be to wonder what they don’t understand about the person and the communication process.

Good managers can miss big things because with their cultural filters, these things are invisible. Consider what I witnessed in an organization that was predominately one ethnicity, and almost all male. In a team setting, a woman points out the problems with an approach. She does so clearly and bluntly. She is ignored. Later, often two or three meetings later, a male points out the same problem, and someone says, “Oh, good catch.”

In sharp contrast to this are organizations that have immense diversity and also typically have diversity training. There are not only significantly more female team members, but also women in leadership positions. When I see a woman perform the same actions in such a group she is immediately listened to. She is viewed by leadership as an innovative thinker who speaks her mind. In fact, she often is the team leader.

Note that the difference is not just better for women. It is also much better for the group and organization, as the diversity of thinking accelerates idea development and innovation for the customers served. Having multiple ways of thinking about things can lead to arguments, but with great leadership this results in great innovation.

• KEY #2 •
Start with the Belief That Everyone Has Good Intentions

Most people actually have good intentions and are working toward what they believe is the greater good of the organization. Even if they are annoying, or doing things that you believe are counter to the good of the organization, it is unlikely that they are damaged, stupid, or evil.

When confronted with difficult situations, especially situations that seem directly related to troublesome behaviors or attitudes, this is an especially important mindset to have ingrained as your first response.

A friend of mine worked for a short time in an organization where the owner exploded with anger any time something went wrong. By the end of the day, it was common for someone to have his employment with the company terminated either because the owner fired him, or the person on the receiving end of the anger quit. The company lasted for only two short years in spite of having started with very good products and an enthusiastic customer base.

This is an extreme example, but it does demonstrate the impact of reacting improperly to bad news.

Many leaders are very driven to achieve great results. It is natural to have a strong reaction to bad news or the perception that someone is not driven in the same way that you are. In coaching these leaders to work toward a more constructive response, I urged them to find the mindset that drove them to this reaction. The most common answer these leaders came up with was “when things went wrong, my initial gut reaction was that troublesome people were trying to cause me or the organization harm” and it was that belief that made them feel such negative emotions. When they articulated this feeling it became apparent that this was actually never true in any of the situations they faced.

The exceptional leader believes that when someone is causing problems it is not the person’s intention to cause problems. Almost certainly the troublesome person is trying to do his or her best to further the overall good of the initiative. The calm leader has the mindset that when trouble arises, it is not of evil intent, it is because something is missing.

The “angry” leaders I worked with did change their mindsets. This change in mindset does not mean we ignore bad behaviors or bad results. What it does mean is that when confronted with these situations we immediately have a more focused, constructive response.

This calm response, followed by more actions, is described later in this book.

• KEY #3 •
Accept Reality But Do Not Let Reality Define You

Steve Jobs set a high bar. According to Walter Isaacson’s biography of Jobs, the president of Corning told Jobs that it wasn’t possible to meet the deadlines he had in mind. Jobs said, “Don’t be afraid. You can do this.” In this instance and many others, Steve Jobs was not going to let the “reality” before him define him. He would push to change it. Corning delivered Gorilla Glass in time for the iPhone launch.

Exceptional leaders do push to set a high bar, and to define what that high bar should be. This takes an important mindset, which is summed up in the threefold relentless pursuit of seeing reality, accepting reality, and, based on this, dealing with reality in a way that sets a high standard of achievement.

See Reality

Observation, questioning, and reflection are incredibly important keys to leadership. If you are unable to determine the reality of the situation within and surrounding your very important initiative, the initiative is at great risk! The better you are at determining the current reality and predicting future reality if things continue, the better your ability to not let the current reality define the outcome.

Explore the details within your domain. Ensure that you have data that is accurate, useful, and used. Develop the ability to focus on the most important elements. For example, be able to rise above the daily noise of problems and excuses. Be able to see patterns and trends and understand when the indicators call for clear action.

I have worked with many projects that have had critical deadlines. For example, I have worked with projects at the company Intuit where if you missed a deadline, you missed the tax season. It was critical to the team to have detailed data to let them know on a daily basis if they were on track, so they could make real-time adjustments. The data would let them know very clearly, and all too often, that they were going to miss that deadline unless they took action.

Accept Reality

This step is difficult for many. It is perhaps too easy to listen to those who say, “It will get better” or even to tell that to yourself. We can easily choose to say “We are actually okay because . . .” This list usually includes that the project had a special event that won’t be repeated or that the hard part was done first and the rest will be easy.

Ah, it would be so nice to believe that. However, it is so rarely true.

Exceptional leadership looks at these details but does not accept the notion that working harder will fix everything. Instead, exceptional leaders study the details for more complete understanding and are thus prepared for determining the next step.

Returning to the Intuit example, the projects I worked with often had indicators of being behind. Teams that ignore those problems end up missing their deadlines. Instead of just accepting that the data was right or wrong, this team studied it and applied their engineering judgment. They accepted what they saw and prepared to act.

Do Not Let Reality Define the Outcome

This final step is a tough one too because dealing with reality usually includes publicly admitting problems and soliciting help. For the example of a quality problem, exceptional leaders will push themselves and others to investigate every opportunity to improve the situation. Further, they will engage with others beyond the project as well. They will not allow the current reality to be the definitive outcome. Exceptional leaders relish this step because they know that dealing with reality is the only way to achieve excellent results.

In the Intuit example, one of the projects I was dealing with found a significant issue where it would have been natural to ask management to drop a feature to be able to make the deadline. However, the team leader encouraged the team to not let the data define the outcome for them. The team engaged in multiple brainstorming sessions and came up with solutions. They were also not afraid to apply extra sweat and to ask for help from other teams. They achieved their deadline with style.

See reality. Accept reality. Deal with reality.

None of these steps are simple or easy, but pursuing them is a far better path than the alternative.

• KEY #4 •
Set the High Bar for Excellence That People Desire

We’re used to defective software, whether it causes our computers to hang or enables a hacker to exploit it. Nonetheless, we accept this state of affairs because “software has bugs. It is the nature of the business.”

There is only a little truth to that. Many teams do struggle with software quality, but some deliver large complex systems of software with very high quality results and zero operational defects.

The leaders of these two types of teams have different mindsets.

The leaders of the high-quality results organization know that people crave the high bar of doing excellent work.

If this seems obvious to you then you may already have this mindset. However, in conducting many organizational assessments I have not found this mindset to be pervasive; instead, I have found the opposite.

In conducting organization assessments I have the benefit of talking to all layers of large and small organizations, from CEOs to individual contributors. When I ask about disappointments, the most common answer I hear is “We didn’t take the time to do the job with quality.”

That was the case with most organizations, but there were organizations that were exceptions. In those exceptional organizations, disappointment around quality was not in anyone’s answer. Not one person! Because I typically heard it so often, I knew there was something different in those organizations.

The following demonstrates the mindset of excellence by contrasting the common themes in these two very different types of leadership.

The Low Bar

The leadership in these organizations may actually be driving very hard toward results. However, the way in which they drive toward results is the antithesis of going for excellence. Here are some actual quotes from leaders in these organizations.

• “Get this new software development project to testing as soon as possible. We have to start finding the defects.”

• “We don’t have budget nor time for training.”

• “I don’t care about your concern for quality. All I care about is the date. Make it happen.”

• “Don’t talk to Hank, our most important developer, about those quality problems. He might get angry.”

There is a mindset that underlies these quotes. In this example, the leadership expects through their words and actions that the development team will deliver poor quality to testing and it is testing’s job to fix it.

These leaders believe that quality is expensive and will slow productivity. They also believe that people cannot achieve excellent results and actually may get upset and quit if held to that high bar.

The High Bar

In these organizations, the leaders are driving toward a high bar of excellence. Here are actual quotes from leadership in these organizations that demonstrate a different way of thinking.

• “The best and fastest way to deliver a high-quality product to our customers is to put a high-quality product into testing. Give me your plan to achieve that.”

• “Your current schedule plan is meaningless without a plan for quality. I need to see quality metrics.”

• “I expect everyone in this organization to become masters of their crafts.”

• “Get Hank and his teammates training in this new technology area. We are seeing indicators of quality issues we have to remedy now.”

This is indeed a different mindset. These leaders understand that excellence is a critical business enabler. For example, in developing high-technology software products, these leaders know that high quality belongs to developers and that high quality actually results in faster time to market and higher customer delight.

There is something more. They also know that in spite of any whining that may occur initially, in the end people are proud of producing great products and great results. People crave the high bar of excellence. These leaders are fearless in setting that high bar.

Know that excellence is achievable. Be courageous and set the bar of excellence high. Provide the investment and belief in your people that they can learn how. The results will amaze your organization and your customers.

• KEY #5 •
Understand the Power of Gelled Teams

Here is the secret role of exceptional leadership.

Your role is not to get things done, although you are absolutely accountable when things don’t get done. Your role is actually not to get things done through others either, although that is how most leaders start.

The real role of exceptional leadership is to create a culture where people do extraordinary things! One of the best ways to do this is to understand the power of gelled teams.

Jennifer was leading a team on a high-pressure project. The team had been together for a few years, so they had been through many projects like this before. However, Jennifer was the new team leader, and she had done things differently. She set expectations high. She gave the team direction but her constant focus was on creating a team that owned their process, their plans, and their results.

One day, two of the team members came into her office and shut the door. They said “Dan is going to be a problem again. He was a problem in the last two projects, and his way of working and his quality caused both to have very bad results. We went to the manager we had then and he did nothing to fix the problem. We know you are different. Can you help?”

Jennifer looked at them and paused for a long moment and then said “Whose problem is this?” She then waited patiently as their looks went from confusion to understanding. The team members said “You are saying that it is a team problem, our problem. You are saying we need to go talk to Dan. We need to work it out.”

Jennifer said, “You said it well. And yes, that is what I mean. Do you need any guidance in how to talk to Dan?”

The team members were worried about taking ownership of the problem, but because of the way Jennifer had been forming the team culture, they really did understand that it was up to them and the team to make the necessary improvements. They listened to Jennifer’s guidance and then talked to Dan. It turned out that Dan was very thankful for them coming to him. Dan was lost on some key parts of the technology and had been afraid to come to anyone for help. The whole team rallied together and helped Dan become a great contributor to the overall project.

In discussing this with Jennifer, I found it amazing that Jennifer knew about the problem with Dan and was waiting for the opportunity to get the rest of the team to tackle it. She knew that it would further bond the team and strengthen their ownership of the mission. She was right. The team energy and commitment grew throughout the project.

Once you have created your first gelled team, you will work continually to find more ways to create gelled teams and improve how you do so. After creating gelled teams that you lead, as an executive you will work to create a culture of leadership where that is the norm.

When there are people problems in the organization like those described in the taxonomy of difficult people, many leaders understand that it is their responsibility to ensure that the trouble is fixed. However, many miss the point that they do not have to do it themselves.

The exceptional leader is always looking for ways to create teams of people in which the team can figure out how to address the trouble without management involvement. As you grow as a leader, the troubles you and your organization encounter will not diminish, but as your skills grow at creating the desired culture, the number of times you must personally get involved will greatly diminish.

• KEY #6 •
Treat Trouble as Information-Rich Data

You are holding a meeting with your team. One individual is on an especially long cynical diatribe and is enabling many others to join the conversation.

What is your reaction?

You are the executive responsible for multiple projects where almost all of the teams are missing the deadlines.

What is your reaction?

Your reaction to these types of situations indicates whether you possess the key mindset of treating trouble as information-rich data. The following reactions are sorted from the worst type of reaction to the best reaction.

• The manager joins the diatribe with his own snide remarks.

• The manager begins to argue with the team that everything is really better than they say it is.

• The manager waits very patiently for everyone to finish and then moves on with the rest of the agenda.

• The leader asks everyone to pause for a minute, remove the cynicism, and state more clearly what the problems are.

• The exceptional leader, in addition to asking for clear problem statements, later reflects on why cynicism was the response by the team to the situation. This leader asks what in the environment, including his own leadership, may have contributed to this.

In the second situation, where most projects in an organization are late, leadership responses ranging from the worst type of reaction to the best include the following.

• The executive considers that “situation normal.” It is not even thought of as a problem.

• The executive holds critical reviews of all the projects and terminates the employment of the project leaders who were furthest behind.

• The executive looks for pattern differences between the projects that finished on schedule and the projects that finished behind. There is a lessons learned document written and never read.

• The exceptional leader has the lessons learned sessions held publicly and ensures that there is ample incentive for all project leaders to attend. The exceptional leader is looking for everyone to come up with his or her own ideas on how to change the situation.

• The exceptional leader, in addition to ensuring that the lessons learned document is a living document, reflects on how it became situation normal to deliver late. This leader asks what in the environment, including her own leadership, may have contributed to this.

If there is trouble occurring in any of the things you lead, it is important information—not just about the actual incident or the actual trouble, it also contains information on the process, the people involved, the culture you are creating through your leadership, and you.

The best reaction to the trouble is not to ignore it. Nor is it the victim response of whining. The ideal response is to treat the trouble as a rich source of information that can help the organization excel.

• KEY #7 •
Own Your Leadership Power

Have you played racquetball or perhaps squash? In those sports, the two people playing each other are not on opposite sides of a net, like in tennis, they are sharing the same space and hitting the ball toward the same surface. The best players understand that the center of the court is a very valuable space to hold. Rookie players can be easily identified because they consistently are on the edge of the court, never contending for the center.

Even managers with great titles and all the associated responsibilities that come with them have been know to behave like rookie players. They do not take ownership of their own leadership power.

For example, when the manager ignores the cynic and just waits for him to finish, the manager has given the cynic the center of the court. When this is done repeatedly, the cynic becomes the unofficial owner of the meeting. As new topics come up, people will not watch the manager, they will watch the designated cynic. He can kill a topic with a sneer.

The final key to the exceptional leadership power of being able to transform the troublesome to the tremendous is to take ownership of your leadership power. The meaning of this is simply that you understand and own all the keys of the mindset of leading the unleadable.

It means that when you have setbacks in making those mindsets your first response (and there will be setbacks), you don’t let the setback become a norm; you forgive yourself and get back on track. It means that you don’t let the trouble you have to deal with define your response; you take ownership of your response. You take ownership of your leadership process and the results.

I used to be the rookie on the edge of the court when I played racquetball. When I was playing with one of the best players in the club, he stopped the game we were playing and taught me about the power of the center of the court.

When I actually beat him one year later, he was absolutely delighted. He understood the power of the center of the court so well that he absolutely owned it. He also understood it so well that he insisted on the proper sharing of it.

You should do the same with your leadership power.