CHAPTER 3
THE ROLE MODEL
… In which we learn how a burglar can teach us a thing or two.
THE VALUE OF GURUS
People often ask me to model the perfect self-employed person. The Buddhists say, “He teaches that which he needs to know most of all.” All our image and profile stuff, our value and our ability, are worth nothing if we cannot find enough work. Enough work, paradoxically, means finding too much. This means being able to increase prices to the juiciest of levels and being able to turn away jobs you don’t fancy. Even I would like to learn that one!
I am a very busy and well-paid ‘guru’, but there are people in my line of work who can earn $100,000 an hour and are booked for five years in advance. I wish! Therefore they are doing, or have done, something that I haven’t, or they know something that I don’t. If I line up ten prospective self-employed people, with no help or guidance two thrive, three or four totter by, and the rest fail (with good guidance eight out of ten succeed). Is this the fickle hand of fate? I doubt it. The failures always sing that same old song: “I couldn’t find the work.” We would all like to find the work, but who can?
A LIFE OF CRIME
May I suggest a life of crime (actually when I ran this idea past my publisher they freaked out, so please don’t really consider being a criminal, it does have its drawbacks). The business model I wish you to consider, however, is that of a burglar. I watched a miscreant on the television who was saying things like, “Well, I was spending a couple of grand a day on me habit.”
A couple of grand a day! Where on earth was he getting that from? Well, he was probably stealing it. That is the thing, while we worry about finding work, our criminal chum has no such problems. Work for him is burglary and he goes and does it whenever he wants to. That is nirvana for the self-employed, to work when you want to, whenever you want to. The burglar doesn’t wait for work to come to him or to look for work, he goes and he does it, purely driven by his need for cash at the time.
A Man of Many Talents
We have many lessons to learn from our light-fingered friend. He has a specialist area, which is burglary. He has honed his skill at house-breaking and has the tools and knowledge to execute his ‘profession’, but should you leave your wallet on the bar counter he will steal that too. Because he is the perfect opportunist, his core philosophical mission is dishonesty and his need is cash. He almost certainly grew up in an undisciplined and unstructured environment which has made him ultra sensitive to opportunity. He is also not hidebound by false pride and job descriptions and is prepared to take it when and where he can.
We, on the other hand, have been tied by structure and order and probably wouldn’t know opportunity if it bit us on the arse. Also, we do get a bit confused, believing that what we say we do for a living says who we are. The burglar has no such problems; in fact, he is extremely reluctant to say what he does for a living and has a life that is very separate from his ‘profession’. If there is a big job to do, like robbing a bank, and if our burglar is the instigator, he will assemble a group of like-minded individuals who have the required skill sets: Molly the driver, Sid the explosives expert, Janice the alarms ace, and Brian the muscle. These kind of loose federations are extremely interesting and should be very instructive for the escaped wage slave.
The Big Lumps
Firstly, let’s just have a look at the management structure. Management in commerce traditionally works on the septic tank principle of the big lumps floating to the top. It is rarely based on talent or ability and, worse, is not relevant to the job in hand. They say that people get promoted until they exceed their abilities. I don’t want to get pompous about this book but I suppose it is starting to look at a new world order. Firstly, perhaps people could move up and down the hierarchy to suit the work in hand without fearing for their job. It is also worth considering the definition of ‘ability’. It may not just mean skill or talent but also refer to inclination and energy.
There is a big hoo ha at the moment about the ageing workforce. Because governments are skint and people are living longer, the retirement age is being bumped up. At the same time, there is a whiff of legislation that will make it illegal to force someone to retire against their will. Of course, the employers are up in arms, saying that for some roles, i.e. physical ones, age is an issue, but genuine mobility could solve that.
“Tell you what, I’m getting less confident flying this thing. I think I’ll take up pushing the drinks trolley up and down the aisle instead.”
Can you see that happening? Well, it should, and that is why traditional employment could be doomed. It is that resistance to change which makes employer and employee alike unable to plan a happier life in the future.
Our crooked team have no such qualms and nor should we. It’s Mickey’s bank job, so we listen to Mickey, look at Mickey’s maps, plans and timing, and give our input, but defer to Mickey and even let him have a bigger share for thinking it up. If it was our plan and our thieving opportunity that was spotted, the rest of the gang – including Mickey – would defer to us.
The Workers United
A coral reef is a community of tiny organisms that together are big enough and strong enough to sink a ship. These loose alliances can be vital for successful self-employment. They cover a lot of issues, including the ability to do big things and become a global brand, and also deal with the issues of personal isolation and loneliness which can be a problem if you are leaving a busy work environment. It also gives us a skill pool of the resources we may lack personally.
If the bank job should be a success, do you think that, buoyed by their triumph, the gang would sign up to a twenty year lease on a prestige downtown office and become Crime Inc with nice glossy brochures setting out lists of the nefarious activities they would be prepared to undertake? If they have enjoyed working together, have made money, and see further opportunity, then sure they will pull another heist, but they are a long way from pension plans and setting up a board of directors.
A Matter of Trust
It is also worth noting that, because they are crooks, they know that they are working with … well … crooks and there is a very healthy level of mistrust. I am going to get pilloried for this but to advise you to trust no one is not a bad philosophy. No, it doesn’t indicate that I am dark, bitter and twisted (although I may be), but when you go into a shop and hand over your credit card and they ask for a pin number or signature, do you say, “What’s the matter, don’t you trust me?” Well, the truth is, no they don’t, they don’t trust anyone, but we are so used to that and the fact that it protects the security of our cash, we comply quite happily. When you start your freelance life and chums commit you to a few days of very welcome work, a little letter of commitment, some cash up front for materials, or maybe a direct debit authorization should not cause offence. If it does, it should set alarm bells ringing.
Our gang will have made very sure that no one clears off with more than their fair share, or start spending irresponsibly in a way that could bring the law down on them all. They are friends, and by dealing with the trust issues at the start of the job, they will stay friends. Also, bear in mind that our burglar can happily work alone on his own projects – the others help but are not essential.
Down But Not Out
Of course the best laid plans can go adrift and possibly our burglar is arrested and convicted. As a career criminal, prison is inevitable, but what happens there should be a revelation for the self-employed.
Again, let’s go back to our self-employment failure. “It just didn’t work out.” So what do most people who fail at being self-employed do? Usually they sink into total despair, and then flap about like a headless chicken until they find a ‘proper job’. Once bitten and so on, but it is rare that a failed enterprise should have such dire consequences as to land you anywhere as horrible as jail. It stands to reason that working on this principle, the mighty sword of justice will instantly encourage our burglar into changing his ways and giving up his chosen career of crime.
Here is an exercise for you:
1. Why do you think the burglar doesn’t give up burgling?
2. If your enterprise fails, why will you give up immediately?
Write the answers down and think about them – contact me at www.geoffburch.com.
Again, we need to tread with great care because I am not talking about flogging a dead horse. When I did my TV series, ‘All Over the Shop’, where I was supposed to rescue failing businesses, I found a shop that had never ever made money. The guy had supported this loss making disaster with his savings and the equity in his house. Because he had a lot of savings and a big house he had managed to do this for fifteen years. Bonkers!
There is a very fine balance here; it is distressing when a business is abandoned because not enough time or money has been given to it but, on the other hand, there is no point in flogging a dead horse. What we have to do is to use our skill and judgement to make this very critical decision: if we bail out too early we could be missing something really wonderful but, on the other hand, there is no good going on and on throwing good money after bad. Hopefully, this book will help you to develop the judgement to make these very important decisions.
If our burglar hears the police sirens, he drops everything and legs it. He knows when to cut and run. He will abandon a project but not his vocation. He will never lose his desire or motivation to be a self-employed criminal, he is just prepared to change if he has to.
Painful Lesson
Our burglar now, however, languishes in prison. He got a fairly stiff sentence, he lost his tools, and the cops have seized some of his valuables as the proceeds of crime. He sits on his hard bed, chin cupped in his hands as the morning light streams through the barred window. He then does what we should all do at moments of crisis: he starts a period of calm, uninterrupted contemplation. “What went wrong?” And, yes, “Is it time to give up crime?” Because eight out of ten career criminals don’t give up crime, and about nine out of ten business failures do give up, there must be something going on here that we can learn from.
A Trouble Shared
Is he alone in there? No, of course not, he is shut away with hundreds of like-minded individuals, all similarly reflecting, with whom he networks and shares best practice, learning and sharing the latest techniques and identifying the juiciest targets.
“Hello, mate, wotcha get nicked for?”
“Burglary.”
“How’d they catch you?”
“The cops have got this machine that can track down nicked stuff from your mobile phone radiation.”
“Cor! I’ll have to watch for that, I won’t take me phone on the next job.”
Our chum leaves prison refreshed with a list of new contacts, new techniques, and a very clear idea of what went wrong – and what steps to undertake to ensure future success. In fact, he is an all-round far better burglar. The amazing thing is that he will repeat this cycle many times but we, on the other hand, tend to stay down when we get knocked down. Please, this is not an advert for a life of crime, but it should give us some learning points.
SCHOOL FOR SCOUNDRELS
1. The dream of all self-employed people is that they will find enough work. However untalented I am, if I decided to be a rock star, as long as I filled those venues with paying fans I would keep doing it. Enough work, of course, means well paying work. The burglar chooses when to work – I wish we all had that control, but skilful marketing, selling, planning and preparation can get us some of the way there. Our goal should be to dispose of, “I wish that …”, “It would be nice to …” and “If only …”, and instead make a successful outcome inevitable. Goal: to work when, where, and how we want to.
2. The burglar’s core skill is, of course, burgling but his ‘core value’ is dishonesty which he can, in times of need and opportunity, apply to stealing anything. The newly self-employed often fail to take advantage of opportunities when they present themselves. If modern employment has preceded their enterprise they cannot be blamed because there is a constant narrowing of focus. Just as the hat stand syndrome can be a symptom of clinging to the security blanket of the old ways, so purposely forcing the enterprise into a narrow focus is giving a false sense of security, a sort of commercial agoraphobia. Twee names are a classic symptom; ‘Pining for the Fjords Pine Furniture’ could never make an oak chair even if someone was prepared to pay for it. Broaden your horizons, look for opportunities and then grab them with both hands.
3. The burglar is more than capable of separating his life from his ‘job’. When we are choosing our enterprise, definitely view the activity as a lifestyle thing that you would have fun at and would be happy doing. Choose something that meets your skill sets. Pick a course that will make you financially secure, but never ever choose an enterprise because it sounds good when you talk about it at parties. The burglar wouldn’t!
4. The burglar is aware of his skills, technical or physical shortcomings, and is more than happy to recruit others, or to outsource the skills he needs.He is not handicapped by ‘management issues’ and a lead member is cheerfully agreed for each project simply based on skill, knowledge and merit. In self-employment, these loose cheery federations can achieve anything. You could build a ship, make a film, or drain an ocean, or rescue a small Mexican village with your gun fighting skills. But remember, just because you worked well with someone doesn’t mean it is time to form a partnership or a company.
5. The burglar works with others he knows, he sells his spoils to people he knows but, unlike us, his description of his colleagues stops at ‘he knows’ and never strays into our cliché of ‘knows and trusts’. Bitter experience has taught him not to trust too readily. While you may be shocked at this, a large number of business failures could have been avoided if less trust had been shown. “One of my biggest customers went bust owing me thousands.” “My partner ran off with the money.” “They promised the order but we had nothing in writing.” Just think about the above statements and consider what precautions you could have taken to avoid these disasters.
6. Getting caught, for the burglar, is a complete disaster emotionally and financially. What he does is to enter a period of quiet contemplation (admittedly enforced). He acknowledges and analyzes what went wrong and plans for the future with contingencies to avoid getting caught again. He will get caught again, of course, but not for the same mistake. When I meet the ‘It just didn’t work out’ person, further questioning reveals, “Well, we started this travelling gourmet burger van, then we found no one would pay enough for the burgers and then we found we couldn’t pitch at the big events because they are booked two years in advance.” Firstly, they didn’t do their homework, but OK, let’s accept that now they have learnt a valuable lesson. So if I kidnapped their pets and said, “Make a success of this burger van or the tortoise gets it”, they would be forced to say, “Well, we could offer coffees and hot chicken sandwiches. I wonder if the smaller events ever have hot food. We should shop around for better suppliers.” Don’t flog a dead horse but alternatively don’t give up too soon.
7. The burglar in and out of prison has a network of associates who he ‘networks’ with, sharing best practice, new technology and information. Do not work in a bubble; most people who own restaurants don’t ever eat in restaurants. Brilliant! How will they ever find out what’s going on?
POINTS TO PONDER ON ‘THE ROLE MODEL’
- Regardless of what we have chosen as our enterprise, we should be permanently and acutely aware of all opportunities that come our way.
- Leadership and management are no longer an issue for the self-employed, but in collaboration with others we must be relaxed about who leads the project. It’s about practicality, not status.
- ‘Trust no one’ is a pretty harsh maxim, but I have seen so many businesses destroyed by a betrayal of trust or some kind of misunderstanding, that a level of healthy scepticism is very valuable.
- We should learn by our mistakes but not get defeated by them.
- Even better, learn from the mistakes of others.
- Never stop developing your skills. Technology changes so fast that if we don’t keep on learning and changing, we could be left high and dry.