Credibility: Bridging the Saying-Doing Gap

A credibility gap emerges when what you say is misaligned with what you do. For example, most organizations have articulated a vision, values, and objectives, and often they prominently display these principles in their offices. But in fact, leaders don’t always follow them. The resulting problem is that the leaders and their company lose credibility, and nobody will listen to a leader who lacks credibility. As Doug Conant, former CEO of Campbell Soup Company and coauthor of the best seller TouchPoints, explains: “A company’s vision is not just a nice statement you post on the wall. It needs to be a living thing: all employees must understand how that vision connects to their job. It is a leader’s responsibility to help make that connection explicit—they need to lead by example.”²⁵

We once consulted with a senior executive in a large high-tech firm in Silicon Valley who promoted teamwork through all his messages but was unable to nurture a collaborative team spirit. When we interviewed team members, they told us that the executive uses every opportunity to put down his peers. As a result, his subordinates emulated his actions rather than his words, leading to an absence of collaborative spirit despite the executive’s lofty messages.

Remember that your words are important. They might sound like mere words to you, but to others, they are promises. To bridge the gap between what we say and what we do—to be credible—we must always be aware and conscious of what we are saying and the context of our words. And if we fail to follow through on promises, we must learn to seek forgiveness, because our credibility is at stake.

Before speaking, keep the following in mind:

• Is what I am about to say aligned with what I want to do?
• Does it imply a promise that cannot be fulfilled?
• How could I articulate my ideas and concerns in a way that doesn’t give someone a false expectation?
• When I make a promise, what is an effective way to see it through?

Commitment: Bridging the Feeling-Doing Gap

A commitment gap arises when what we say or do is not aligned with what we truly feel. People hesitate to share their true feelings and thoughts. If we perceive that a team member is not doing a good job and spending more time focusing on his personal projects at work, we have three choices: let the person know it is unacceptable, complain to the project leader behind the back of the person, or keep quiet and take up the extra load but resent it. Many functional smart leaders tend to keep quiet and become resentful, while some business smart leaders are quick to complain and bluntly let the person know it is unacceptable—often in an unclear and emotional tone that prevents the person from hearing the content of the message.

When we don’t give honest feedback to our coworkers because we feel uncomfortable doing so, nobody experiences growth. Interestingly, our commitment in this case is to “look good” by avoiding giving honest feedback but not necessarily to “feel good” by helping others grow. Authentic and appropriate commitment helps a relationship blossom. Without it, relationships fade.

We recently attended a board meeting of a large company and were amazed to see how various executives agreed to the requests of others without any commitment to keep them—as we inferred from the conversations we overheard during the coffee break. These people suggested that the CEO did not track promises that were made but instead would track people who challenged him or disagreed with him in the meeting. Over time, executives in this company learned that a polite “yes, I agree” was the best answer to give when the boss asked for their opinion. When they were asked to make bigger commitments to sales, cost cutting, or quality, they made unrealistic promises just to please their boss, knowing there would be no serious penalty for missing those deadlines. When we later challenged their CEO in private and raised questions about accountability, he fired us as his consultants.

When senior leaders in your organization are not interested in honest feedback but rather reward sycophancy, as in the example, you have two options: speak up and tell the emperor he has no clothes or toe the line. In this situation, being authentic is about mustering the courage to tell your superiors what you truly think about their plans, decisions, or actions. Don’t confuse commitment with allegiance: your commitment is to the larger organization and its growth rather than to individual leaders and their personal success.

To bridge the gap between feeling and doing—to act with commitment—we often have to choose carefully when, where, and how to communicate our authentic feelings to others. Disagreeing without making a scene or becoming disagreeable is an art worth learning. Try to separate the person from his or her actions and communicate that there is a conflict with the action but not with the person (this can be especially challenging for many business smart leaders to say and hear). This will keep your criticism from being experienced as a personal attack. Ask yourself these questions to help identify and overcome a commitment gap:

• In which relationships do I have the biggest commitment gaps?
• Why don’t I express my thoughts and feelings in that relationship?
• What is the worst that can happen if I share my concerns?
• What is the best that can happen if this other person understands and appreciates my feelings and thoughts about him or her?

Courage: Bridging the Being-Doing Gap

The courage gap is the disconnect between who we are and what we do. Here, “who we are” represents our true personality and our real identity—our unique being. Sometimes others perceive and appreciate this uniqueness, but we often don’t see that. Rather, we suppress this uniqueness in order to gain approval or to fit in with the group. It takes courage to be different and raise issues that may be sensitive to others.

John Mackey, co-CEO of Whole Foods Market, has always known who he truly is and has dared follow his wildest dreams no matter what others say, as when he opened his first market with forty-five thousand dollars simply to satisfy his own passion for healthy foods and healthy lifestyles.²⁶ Mackey credits that courage to several formative experiences in his youth. For instance, when he was nineteen, he dropped out of the University of Texas in Austin and decided to hitchhike to New York City. His parents were upset about his decision. The day he was about to leave the house, his mother tried to dissuade him: “If you walk out of that door, you can never come back into my house.” Mackey replied to her: “If this is how you think about me and our relationship, then I would rather not stay here any longer.” And he left. That day, Mackey says, he was true to himself and his destiny: “I found the courage to forgo the security of my family in pursuit of my dreams. I was liberated by going forward rather than staying back. From that point on, I began acting to meet my own expectations rather than others’.”

In our experience, the courage gap is the one that most leaders pay the least attention to, and yet when it is bridged, it can yield the biggest payoff. Self-deception or lack of self-awareness, or both, generally prevent leaders from discovering their deeper desires and intentions. According to Ken Anbender, a clinical psychologist and CEO of Contegrity, a leadership development consultancy, three factors—projection, protection, and abject fear—get in the way of discovering the kernel of integrity that is authentic to us. To find the courage to follow your authentic self, consider these questions:

• What have I given up for my current job or relationship?
• Have I been ignoring my passions just to make money or be successful?
• How do I find the courage to follow my dreams?
• Am I supporting others to pursue their own passions?