Chapter 11
Positive Leaders Have Grit
The number one predictor and factor of success is not talent, title, wealth, or appearance. It is grit!
Angela Duckworth's research at the University of Pennsylvania identifies grit as the number-one predictor and factor of success. It's not talent, title, wealth, or good looks. It's grit, the ability to work hard for a long period of time towards a goal; to persevere, overcome, and keep moving forward in the face of adversity, failure, rejection, and obstacles.16 Success doesn't happen overnight. Anything worthwhile takes time to build. Along the way a leader will face countless challenges, failures, and setbacks that will become roadblocks unless they find a way forward. Positive leaders have grit and find a way to navigate the roadblocks or run through them to move closer to their vision and goal.
When we look at successful companies and organizations, we see their current success and prominence but what we don't see is the leadership and grit that powered them through all the failure and moments of doubt, heartache, fear, and pain. Everyone would now like to be Kevin Plank, the CEO of Under Armour, but I'm guessing they wouldn't have wanted to be him in 1995 when he was selling one product, a new high-performance t-shirt, from the basement of his grandmother's home in Washington, DC, and financing his venture with a $40,000 loan from his maxed-out credit cards. Everyone would love to enjoy the success Sara Blakely, the owner of Spanx, has created, but I'm sure most wouldn't want to sell fax machines door to door at the age of 25, or go to North Carolina to visit most of the hosiery mills in the country to try to sell an idea for a new kind of undergarment. Most of us wouldn't have continued after being rejected by every representative. But she moved forward, and eventually found a manufacturer who agreed to make her product because her daughters thought it was a great idea. And with a lot of grit, she was able to transform the pantyhose industry and become the youngest self-made billionaire in history. Starbucks did not reach its fifth store until 13 years into its history. Sam Walton did not open his second store until seven years after starting his company. Pat Summitt, the legendary women's basketball coach at Tennessee, didn't win her first championship until her 13th year of coaching. Dabo Swinney and Clemson lost 15 of their first 34 games and went 6–7 in 2010. Dabo thought he was going to be fired but Clemson's athletic director at the time, Terry Don Phillips, shared his continued belief in him. After that, they won at least 10 games every year and a championship in 2016. And John Wooden didn't win his first national title until his 16th season at UCLA.
Whether you are attempting to turn around a company, grow a start-up, build a winning team, or move a successful organization to the next level, you can expect it to take time and perseverance. Duckworth says, “Grit is passion and perseverance for long-term goals.” I would add that it's actually a marathon and a series of sprints combined with a boxing match. You are not just running but also getting hit along the way. Grit keeps you moving forward through the sting of rejection, pain of failure, and struggle with adversity. When life knocks you down, you may want to stay down and give up, but grit won't let you quit. This begs the question, “Why does grit keep you moving forward? How does it work? If grit drives you, what drives grit?”
Know What You Want
I believe true grit starts with knowing what you truly want. When you know what you want and you can see it, you will work hard and persevere in order to achieve it. That's why having a vision for the road ahead is so important. That's why we discussed the importance of a leader carrying a telescope and microscope with them. When the world doesn't see what you see and they think you are crazy for seeing it, your vision of what you want and the grit to keep going must be greater than all the negativity and naysayers. Sara Blakely said that she must have gotten hundreds of NO's along the way, but that didn't stop her. She knew what she wanted to create, believed in it, and kept working until people finally saw what she saw and understood her brilliant idea.
Know Your Why
In the last chapter we discussed the power of purpose. Well, it not only fuels positivity, but it also drives grit in a big way. When you know your why, you won't let obstacles get in your way. When your purpose is greater than your challenges, you won't give up. My dad was a New York City police officer. Each day he left the house, my mom feared that he wouldn't come home. He risked his life every day. Why? Was it the paycheck? Not at all. He didn't make much but he worked for a bigger purpose. When crime and my mom made him want to quit, he wouldn't. He had a duty and a purpose to make New York a safer place, and that kept him going.
Love It
If you don't love it, you'll never be great at it. If you don't love it, you won't work to overcome all the challenges to keep doing it. If you love what you do, you won't quit when the world says you should. You will continue to show up every day, do the work, and discover that success is not created by other people's opinions. It's not created by what the media and fearful news says. It's not created by any of the circumstances outside you. It's created by the love you have inside you—love for what you do, for your team, for the organization you serve, and for the world you want to change. The love and grit that you possess on the inside will create the life you experience on the outside.
Love powers grit, and it also powers you over fear. I've heard it said that fear is the second most powerful force in the universe because it's the one thing that can keep us from our vision, goals, and dreams. Thankfully, there's a force more powerful than fear, and it is love. People think that fear is strong and love is weak, but love is more powerful than fear. We don't run into burning buildings because of fear. We do it because of love. Love is the antidote to fear. Love casts out fear so where there is love, fear dissipates. When I speak to leaders, coaches, and athletes, I encourage them to focus on the love of their work, craft, and competition instead of their fear of failing. Fear is draining, but love is sustaining. Fear causes you to worry about what everyone will think if you fail. Love moves you to give your best and not worry about the rest. A field-goal kicker I know in the NFL was struggling during his second year after having a phenomenal rookie season. I reached out to him and asked what was going on. He said he was thinking too much. I said tell me about your rookie season. He said he was just thrilled to be in the NFL. He was living his dream and loving kicking. I said tell me about this year. He said he missed a few kicks in the pre-season and started to worry about missing. He didn't want to let the coach and team down. He didn't want to lose his job. I knew this problem well. Many people think that the more success you have, the less fear you have but, actually, it often works the other way. The more success you have, the more fear you have because you have more to lose and further to fall. I encouraged the field-goal kicker to get back to just loving the game, loving kicking, and loving the process. I told him to look inside, not outside. Just kick. Don't think. Just love it, don't fear it. He listened, was able to return to love, and had a great rest of the season. It wasn't me. I just reminded him what he already knew. I helped him to love it and, if you love it, you won't fear it. Most of all, if you love the process, you'll love what the process produces.
Embrace Failure
A big part of positive leadership and grit is knowing that you will fail along the way but you don't allow failure to define you or stop you. Failure is a big part of your path to success. It's not your enemy. It is your partner in growth. It doesn't define you; it refines you. If you didn't fail, you wouldn't build the character you need to succeed. When you have grit, you fail and you move forward. You see it as an event, not a definition. You leave the past and let it go. The path to greatness is never behind you. Just keep moving forward. Failure and challenges are just part of the journey. There's no accomplishment without struggle. No triumph without tests and failures along the way. There would be no stories of positive leaders changing the world if they didn't have to overcome adversity and failure in order to do so. So the next time you fail, remember that George Washington lost two thirds of all the battles he fought but won the Revolutionary War. Abraham Lincoln suffered nine election defeats, the death of a spouse, a nervous breakdown, and two bankruptcies before becoming President of the United States. Oprah was told she wasn't fit for television and was fired from her job as a news anchor. Walt Disney was fired from a newspaper job for a lack of ideas. Dr. Seuss wanted to burn the manuscript of his first book after it was rejected by 27 publishers. Steven Spielberg wasn't accepted to UCLA film school because of average grades. Phil Knight was on the brink of bankruptcy with Nike for over 10 years and routinely didn't know if the company could make payroll. Steve Jobs was fired from Apple at age 30, and the list goes on. You have to be willing to fail in order to succeed.
Keep Doing Things the Right Way: Trust the Process
David Cutcliffe, the head football coach at Duke, told me that when the team's record was 3–9 in 2010 and 2011 he felt optimistic because he knew what he was building and knew that they were doing things the right way. Then from 2012 to 2015 Duke made it to three straight postseason bowl games. I've had similar conversations with my friends and college lacrosse coaches John Tillman (Maryland), Jeff Tambroni (Penn State), Kevin Corrigan (Notre Dame), and Nick Myers (Ohio State). All of them have taken over programs and had to build them. The common denominator is to keep doing things the right way, even when the results aren't showing up yet. Don't focus on the numbers. Trust the process. When you keep doing things the right way, eventually the numbers will rise, the wins will come, and the outcome will happen.
Ignore the Critics; Do the Work
Positive leaders don't lead because they want recognition or enemies. They lead because there is something they must do, build, create, transform, and change. They lead because it's who they are and what they are meant to do. However, with leadership comes scrutiny, praise, critics, and attacks. A leader could find a cure for cancer and would still have some people criticize them for it. There was even once a leader who transformed the world by feeding the hungry, healing the sick, and loving the unlovable, and yet he was killed for it. If you are a leader, expect to be attacked. Positive leadership doesn't mean you won't be criticized. It means you have the grit and belief to overcome it. Positive leaders don't lead in a tranquil sea of positivity, but through the storms of adversity and negativity. Leadership is knowing that the critics will criticize you while still saying what needs to be said and doing what needs to be done. History doesn't remember the critic. It remembers the one who withstood criticism to accomplish something great.
In our modern social-media–driven world, you will have more fans and critics than ever. The keys are: Don't let praise go to your head and don't let critics into your head. Be so invested in your craft that you don't have time to listen to the naysayers. No time for negativity. You're too busy creating the future. If I would have listened to the naysayers and critics, I would have stopped working on my craft years ago. I want to encourage you to never let the opinion of others define you and your future. Your identity doesn't come from what the world says about you. It comes from who you are on the inside. Your work, leadership, and mission are too important to allow others to define your destiny.
No matter what anyone says, just show up and do the work.
If they praise you, show up and do the work.
If they criticize you, show up and do the work.
If no one even notices you, just show up and do the work.
Just keep showing up, doing the work, and leading theway.
Lead with passion.
Fuel up with optimism.
Have faith.
Power up with love.
Maintain hope.
Be stubborn.
Fight the good fight.
Refuse to give up.
Ignore the critics.
Believe in the impossible.
Show up.
Do the work.
You'll be glad you did.
True grit leads to true success.