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Giver/Cheerleaders focus on what you want but also on what they want you to be for them. 2s deliver but want credit for it. With your needs highlighted, 2s try to hide their own, and their constant smiles may hide their internal frustration. They aim to please and are disappointed if they can’t. Who could refuse such giving?

Let me help you! Think of me as the mother archetype. I’m really good at helping, and I know what you need. Of course, I am also the punisher who can withhold what you need. Bottom line? I need you to be dependent on me to provide for you, so you will love me. Be dependent on me, yet don’t consume me. If this describes your approach to life, welcome to your type. You are a 2!

If you’re a 2, you want others to be dependent on you but want your own independence, as well. However, you fear others will reject you if you’re too independent. If others are taking advantage of your good nature, wanting too much and being ungrateful for your giving or overgiving, you may suddenly reach a limit. It comes as a shock to realize you have needs, too. Suddenly you can’t stand the neediness and demands and may react by doling out the punishments or angrily setting limits.

It’s a strange dance, isn’t it? You struggle to balance the back and forth between dependence and independence. You can’t stand having to need people. It seems like a weakness. Rather, you want people to need you. And if they praise you, well, then the sky is the limit. The dance continues.

2s are more likely to be women, though there are plenty of 2 men. Many women think they’re 2s, because of the cultural stereotype that women should give. Most mothers need to be a bit 2-seeming, but real 2s have difficulty dropping the caring, nurturing role. They are often devastated when their kids go to college or people no longer need them. To no longer have a giving role is awful. To be rejected is hell. To watch others give to the one you love can bring feelings of jealousy and rejection to the fore. You’re upset with yourself if you can’t please and upset with others if you can’t win them over.

2s are cheerleaders for happiness. You’re sunny, generous, and attentive, particularly when life is good and you have a receptive person who appreciates you. You’re positive, uplifting, and love to delight others. You’ll work to alleviate excessive pain and make others feel great, look good, and be happy. You’re here to make the world brighter. You tune in empathically with care and delight in others’ successes.

2s are upbeat and see the glass as half full. You’ll put in the necessary time and attention to plan a great party, make sure the project is successful, and greet customers with a smile. You want your waiter/waitress to definitely be a 2! 2s keep the energy up to produce a great result and point out everyone’s best traits. Need a hostess with the mostest? 2s are into beauty, making and creating attractive environments. Party planners for sure.

You network and promote others who need to be recognized for a worthy or success-driven service or product. Being an Image type, you want people to feel good around you. 2s are attentive, relate personally, and aim to please.

In a nutshell, positive traits of 2s include …

As a 2 you have a positive view of life and believe the higher forces will support you, if you give. Good things will happen to good people. It’s a risk, of course, because 2s bank on their accounts earning interest if others like their giving. 2s need to learn to trust that life works when you let go, give naturally, and allow others to take care of themselves, as well as trusting that the universe will work, whether you give or not.

2s’ spirituality focuses on affirmation, the value of healthy dependencies, and maintaining an uplifting spirit. 2s focus on creating beautiful environments and often have art that features angels, Madonna and child, happy people, reunions, and blissful nature scenes. You look toward the bright side of life and help create a universe that is full of life, promise, and joy. You praise others and see the best.

2s’ spirituality increases when you surrender to life, see everything as a part of the whole, and accept that your needs will be met as a natural course of events. God will feed the birds of the air, etc. Relinquish control, along with your pride that thinks you know what is best for others. Let go, and let God.

2s don’t have an exclusive right to giving and helping. It’s just that your whole life focus is wrapped up in pleasing others, with the hope of love and validation returned. The Giver has an internal magnet that listens for cues of what people need and is on their doorstep immediately to deliver. You might not stop to consider whether the receiver wants the gift or feels the delivery is too fast or the gift too much.

Giving represents your hidden need for love, so you go overboard and hope others will reciprocate your kindness. If they don’t, guilt ensues. Others can feel a demand to respond to your gift or your need for loyalty and bonding. Too much giving can feel like an invasion or setup for expectation or fantasy fulfillment. The clearer your expectations, the more you can build trust and create natural relationships.

2s, like all the types, have hidden defenses. You’re giving, but you can give to get. Usually you don’t want much on the surface—appreciation, acknowledgement, some attention back. You can want more than is apparent, though. Because you’re givers more than receivers, you can be shy or feel overwhelmed and not in control when you receive too much attention. Many 2s have defined expectations, so when gifts come other than within the boundaries of those expectations, you may miss them.

2s who feel deserving might want lots of special attention. You can expect adulation or gifts that are out of proportion to what you give. All this depends on maturity. Developed 2s give with little or no expectation, while more undeveloped 2s expect too much and overrate their giving. 2s are desperate to be loved and you react negatively when you feel unloved.

2s protect against showing needs. You hint at what you need or want and expect others to pick up the hints and become upset if others misinterpret your signals. 2s experience shame around needs and you don’t like your worst fear (neediness) exposed. Be more direct! So what’s the problem with being a little needy? It’s what you thrive on in others.

2s may appear positive to hide the darker emotions of sadness, pain, hurt, fear, anger. It’s okay if you have those emotions. People will accept you more for being human. In masking your darker side, 2s can seem good at the topsoil line but be in turmoil with the creepy-crawlies below. 2s project a sunny disposition to overshadow the dark clouds. Let your true feelings out. You can’t pretend it’s a sunny day when it’s pouring! More developed 2s accept the full range of emotions.

Pride is a core feature in the type. It’s a 2 job, making others happy, and you want the credit you deserve for doing it. What an impossible challenge! The more the inner tension around this, the less ability you have to give well. Pride gives false strength, protects against intimacy, and prevents getting help for yourself. Humility is the answer. Realize you don’t have all the answers and that, like everyone else, you need help at times.

Worst traits of the type include these foibles:

2s generally try to repress anger in an attempt to be nice and caring and good, but go to Type 8, the Director/Powerhouse, when stressed. You can become like 8 and tell others what they need to do, with no ifs, ands, or buts. If they don’t follow your advice, you may dole out the consequences. In 8, you can unload your anger, feel righteous, and tell others how ungrateful and bad they are. This is usually set off by a perceived lack of appreciation. You take a direct tack and tell others who’s who and what’s what! You bypass all the sweetheart stuff and express how hard it is to be with them.

It is advisable for 2s to develop the best traits of 8 and be more direct and basic. To combine your tact and ability with 8’s directness and honesty is the best of all possible worlds. Practice being that positive 2/8 mix, and your relationships will be clear, personal, and satisfying.

2s make decisions for others more easily than for themselves. As a 2, you feel confident you know what decisions should be made and sometimes these decisions benefit you more than the recipient! You can have a hard time with self-needs and your own decision-making. You may fear that others think you are selfish if you make choices for yourself. Because the helper image is important, you want to please, and the loss of anyone’s love is devastating. There are so many people to make happy. You wonder who might withdraw from you if you make the wrong decision.

Best to consciously think of your own outcomes and not put this burden on others. People will feel guilty and beholden to you if everything you do is for them. They’d rather you be more self-centered and some see those parts of you, anyway.

2s are sometimes difficult to detect. Women are often programmed to be givers, when it’s not their core trait. Faux 2s! Real 2s? You go out of your way to give and hide your own needs, but you may become upset and more selfish when others don’t follow your advice or appreciate your attention. You generally show the positive side and don’t reveal much of your pain and vulnerabilities. When you do, it’s a big deal!

2s want to please, so you’ll do anything to be the person needed in a particular situation, to the extent of forgetting what might be best for the people involved. It’s so automatic. Your self-worth is based on how well you do.

In identifying 2s, look for …

2s offer advice, say positive things in flattering tones, and talk in a cheery way. There can be a slightly forced tone to keep it positive, against a possible backdrop of pain or displeasure. More developed 2s are totally natural. 2s talk about love, giving, pleasure, and happiness. The language is can do, with a refusal to acknowledge the negative, even if the negative is obvious.

Other verbal cues:

More developed 2s are generous, tuned into what others need, and expect little in return. You know how to give to yourself, are direct with your needs, and realize people’s limitations. You delight in relating, giving, and watching others develop. In general, you trust life will be positive, no matter what the ups and downs.

Most 2s give but expect return. You still manipulate to get people to relate to you in ways you want. If you’re a 2, you develop by being clear about your expectations and realizing there are many ways people give. You’re learning that you have needs too and needn’t be ashamed of them. The more honest and relaxed you are, the more you’ll have a right balance of giving and receiving.

Undeveloped 2s strongly manipulate to get appreciation. Your gifts may be unwanted and you tend to be angry when recipients aren’t grateful. You don’t take care of yourself but expect others to. You hold onto people for dear life and forget your own independence.

2s are the active pleasers as kids. They help mommy with dinner, bring in the newspaper, do the dishes, perform for others, remember important dates, give gifts and cards, and love the smiles of approval on people’s faces. They like the feeling of affecting someone, particularly with immediate results, although they can wait, hoping for returns. They’re active, social, helping the down and outs, rescuing birds and cats (hopefully not at the same time!). They repress their bad stuff and try to please in order to be valued.

2 children need to learn not to overly fix things, that they can’t please everyone, and should be selective with playmates. They need to choose what feels good, share painful feelings, get help, and accept being attended to. As a parent, praise their giving but don’t feed on it. 2s can start parenting you! Let 2 children explore what they want and support them to seek and receive love and attention without trying to get it in underhanded ways.

As a 2 parent, you can try too hard to please your children. You may also place too much pressure on kids to give positive feedback. Let your kids have their moods and upsets, their independence, and your guidance. Listen to their feelings and problems without fixing so strongly. They’ll find their own solutions if you resist the urge to fix their problems for them.

Let go of control or your kids will avoid you! You don’t have all the answers, and that’s fine! You are an exceptionally generous parent, so appreciate yourself for how much you give. Your kids will naturally give to you when you give them their space. They’ll also feel secure when you are giving to yourself and setting limits with them.

If you’re a 2, you think about relationships, love, hearts and flowers, clothes, smiles, upsets, being misunderstood, how to affect people, what would work, what you can do to give and get attention, what you want and need, avoiding what you want and need, planning how to give, and imagining positive outcomes. Among the other things 2s think about are the following:

What 2 adults wish they could say:

2s are totally about relationships. You feel responsible for others’ happiness and your esteem and pride are wrapped up in it. You struggle with your own independence, and project that others need pleasing 24/7. When balanced, you please yourself equally and it’s easier on everyone!

A cue for anyone in a relationship with a 2: 2s will do anything to please you if they’ve selected you to receive their attention. And 2s are selective, hoping their love will be returned. They alter themselves to satisfy you, and nothing is too much to give if you appreciate them.

Some 2s induce guilt. Their agendas are felt but not necessarily directly expressed, and 2s can withdraw when you don’t fall into line. You’ll know when they are upset. They withhold their gifts, reject you outright, unleash a blast from the past, or try their best to force you to receive their gifts. Don’t buy the guilt if you haven’t done anything wrong.

2s can do major push-pulls in relationships. You want the attention but not necessarily the challenges of a real relationship. If others get too close to your vulnerabilities, you can easily move away or blame them for the exposure. Sometimes the chase is what you’re most interested in. You can pursue too much, even indirectly, and need to trust that others will pursue you if you back off a little. You don’t trust to a natural unfolding of events in a relationship and can be commitment-phobic, which seems odd, given your affinity for pursuit.

Obstacles entice, and overcoming them can draw 2s into a relationship. Having no problems to cure or no people to fix can be a problem! The more developed 2 loves to be in a solid relationship with ongoing happiness, though romance is always desired. Make sure it’s the person you want and not the process of winning them.

As a 2, you grow in relationships when you see that others may give to you in many different ways beyond your immediate hopes or expectations. Be open to the ways that love expresses itself, even if it doesn’t match your expectation. Love requires flexibility, receptivity, and openness. You aren’t in charge of the giving game.

2s are romantic to the hilt and love romance in all its guises: cards, flowers, chocolates, special gifts, attention, pursuit. Forgetting Valentine’s Day or anniversaries will create severe disappointment. It’s the emotional pulls and romantic surges that are wanted—the reconnection and displays of caring and needing. Special ways of loving are relished and displays of giving and special recognition are all desirable.

Some 2s are on target, giving what is needed, while others give what they think is needed or even what they need themselves (giving to self in the guise of giving to others)! For this, 2s expect kudos. More developed 2s are okay with occasional feedback, but most 2s feel criticized if the recipient doesn’t want or like the gifts. Be sensitive to how feedback is given and also appreciate the intention, time, and energy from which the 2 gave. Set limits, though, as rooms can fill with goodies that must be displayed!

2s need to see that there are many ways to relate, apart from giving: spending time with friends, receiving, sharing activities, being a student, opening to difficult emotions, sharing vulnerabilities to get help, learning together. Let go of your solid ideas of love or expand them. Be open to love showing up in different and mysterious ways.

2s need to self-focus, spend time alone (not always making connections), identify, and attune to personal needs. Learn to be more direct with others, observe your pleasing, over-involvement, seductive behavior and actions, and notice the tendency to hide real desires and motivations. Instead of convincing others you’re helping them, it’s best to help yourself. If you are covering up your own needs, people sense your stress and might withdraw from you.

The more honest you are, the more people will trust you. Keep up the positive focus but open to your insecurity and needs. Most people will find your vulnerability appealing. Trust that others can accept your quirks, your before-makeup look, and your humanness. Wipe that smile off your face, on occasion. Don’t blame when relationship blunders occur. Relationships are messy affairs at times, and you can’t control them by putting on a positive front or thinking you’re always in charge.

As a 2, you may manipulate emotionally, affectionately, or sexually to influence and hold onto someone—to get things your way. Special treats, as well as threats of taking away those treats, are tactics you may use. There is a tendency to be possessive, jealous, controlling, and territorial. If you feel others are competing with you for someone’s love or loyalty, you’ll do almost anything to win. “I am your giver, no one else. You are mine! I need to keep you dependent on me for me to feel okay.” Dig deep to explore, as your 2 tendency is to only see the positive motivations and you may feel shame around any part of you that you perceive to be selfish. What’s wrong with some selfishness? You have needs too!

The Growth type for 2 is 4, the Romantic/Depth Seeker. Learn to focus on feelings and individuality and self-ref lection, like 4s, and value the dark side of life. 2s are other-focused, and 4s are self-reflective and often self-absorbed with feelings. 2s are afraid of dark feelings and tend not to focus on fear, pain, anger, and self-centered emotions. When 2s go to 4, you accept these feelings, as well as your individuality, can spend time alone to relax, reflect, or create, and take care to give to yourself as much as you give to or want from others.

4s are creative, and 2s integrate when you open up to your own self-expression—art, drama, music, or poetry. Giving is balanced with individuality and self-care. The positive side of 4 is a healthy dose of creativity, self-awareness, and attunement to feelings. Focus inward as much as you focus out.

2s are already creative in abilities to relate and to interconnect with others. Extroverted 2s network easily, set up conference-type atmospheres, and bring people together. It’s important for 2s to spend time alone to journal or create art, to discover real, personal interests, and to focus on what really satisfies. As 2s, you often decorate your apartments and homes with beauty. Colorful objects, sunny art prints, and uplifting themes are your style. 2s are among the best dressers of the Enneagram—textured fabrics and unique color combinations that flatter the body are worn with panache.

What do you want to create that reflects your personal self? What do you feel and want? What makes you unique? What are the constants in your personality? What do you stand for? What’s as important as pleasing people that will give you the solid feeling you are loved? Are you loved more than just for pleasing someone? These questions, relating to self-discovery and development, will help spark your creativity.

2s generally choose work and career related to people. You make great receptionists, hostesses, event planners, executive secretaries, entertainers, and real-estate agents. You also work in advertising, sales, and hotel management (more 2s with 3 wings). You do what it takes to make any organization look good, so public relations is your game! You aim to please and create the image needed to accomplish that. You enjoy greeting people and may function well in the complaint department! You’re found equally in helping and service professions (more 2s with 1 wings)—counselors, teachers, nurses, hairdressers, and yoga instructors. Your smile is your number 1 asset.

2s, particularly 2s with 3 wings, try to connect to the powerful elite and influence those who can make a difference. You tend to know everyone’s personal business and might be too much in the gossip loop and feel left out if you’re not in the know. You sometimes need to watch becoming over involved with people. You can take things personally at work, so focus on the task at hand with an outcome-orientation.

2s can be great motivators, cheering on constituents and underlings. 2s inspire others, bringing out their best traits. 2s’ approval or disapproval is powerful and others want to be on your approving side. 2 leaders are customer-oriented. You lead less by rules and regulations and more through human interactions and strategic relationships.You encourage managers to get to know their people and to really get to know their customers well and what they want. Interested in personal histories, you try to influence each person, individually. Because you desire positive feedback you’ll go out of your way to please. You prefer the subtle approach, selecting stroking, taking someone out to an exclusive restaurant, or offering a special favor or gift over major power moves.

2s manifest in different ways, depending on wings and subtypes. 2s with a 1 wing have more of a moral focus, while 2s with a 3 wing focus on success. Though all 2s aim to please, subtypes skew the flavoring. Self-Preservation subtypes focus on having a beautiful environment and possessions. Social subtypes have a strong focus on social position and knowing the right people. Sexual subtypes highly focus their 2ness on relationship pursuit and closeness. Get to know many 2s before you feel you know the full range of the types.

There are two wings for 2s: the 2 with a 1 wing (2/1) and the 2 with a 3 wing (⅔):

There are three Instinctual subtypes for the 2:

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