Chapter 12
The ABCs of Typing
In This Chapter
• A journey toward understanding yourself and others
• Getting help from your friends
• Trusting your gut instincts
• Distinguishing between type look-alikes
• Looking at gender and type
• Sins of the types
Why is knowing your type so important? Knowing your type helps you recognize and understand the deeper truth and motivational drive of who you are. Whether it’s clarification or verification you seek, keep exploring until you feel secure knowing your core type. It has to feel right to be right. In this chapter you’ll learn the basics of typing. First, you’ll discover your core tendency—the main perspective, from which you think, see, and act. Then you’ll hone in on your subtypes and wing. Ready? Of course you are!
It’s You to the Core!
Determining your core type is a bit like weeding a garden. You know the flowers are in there, but there’s a lot of other stuff blocking your access to them. So you get to work. You pull out some plants and leave others where they are. It’s a sorting process and if the job is a big one, you may want some help. Typing works the same way. Some people can accurately type themselves, but many of us need help.
There are nine core types and you may be unsure which, among several possibilities, is your core. As you continue to examine and question, you’ll discover one of them is part of your basic nature, like your heartbeat or breath.
Your type tends to show itself early in life, usually by age 8 and often before. It can manifest itself later, in the teenage years, but it’s rare to see it emerge later than that. A guideline is to consider how you are or were in your 20s. This is usually a time where the type is strong, before you realize that something isn’t working and you try to change it. No type works perfectly, because each type is missing the best parts of the others. The more you grow, the more you want to change what isn’t working for you. You want to be complete.
Insights
Parents often say, “One of my kids came out screaming and hasn’t stopped yet. The other one was quiet and still is.” For many people, type begins at the beginning.
Why is the type so strongly set in us? There’s a million-dollar question for you, and we don’t have the answer. One thing’s for certain, though—set in us, it surely is!
A cautionary note: as you begin to type yourself, don’t go for the type you’d like to be or for what you are growing toward. Your type is your preset tendency, not something you have to work at or change. It’s your basic nature. Even as you grow, there’s still that inclination to return to what is familiar. Being your type requires no effort. Changing aspects of your type requires great effort! It’s the insight into your type’s strengths and limits that gives you the awareness to change and grow.
A Little Help from Your Friends
Typing yourself can be difficult, especially if all you do is just read about the types. Your friends, however, along with your romantic partner, past loves, and others who know you well can help you out here. How do you do this? Just ask how you are different from others. Give the type descriptions and ask which one is more you. It’s valuable to use both general questions, as well as questions that reference each separate type’s concerns. You’ll find a list of these questions in Appendixes B and C, respectively.
You can use these questions once you’ve narrowed it down to two or three types or to do a check, if you think you’ve determined the type. If you answer in the affirmative to most or all of the questions regarding type characteristics, you are most likely on target. Quick responses, empathic responses, or humorous responses are indications that you’re on the mark.
We often carry a picture of ourselves that isn’t accurate. We may think we’re one type, but everyone else thinks differently. Generally, the group is right. For example, many people would like to think they are a 9, the Peacemaker/Accommodator, but their assertiveness pegs them as an 8, the Director/Powerhouse. In this case, they’re probably an 8 with a 9 wing!
Lifelines
If you are typing someone, don’t worry about getting it right. See it as fun and an exercise in gathering information. If someone, including you, is learning from the process, it’s a success.
In counseling or coaching or workshop sessions or over dinner, let your spouse or significant other type you. Seldom are they wrong and, even if they are, they’ve usually identified a secondary type, usually a wing or a Stress or Growth type that’s currently more on display than your core.
When you answer the questions, reflect on your whole life, and consider what’s most important to you. What are your deepest values? What is the part of you that remains, no matter what you try to change? What is the strongest lens through which you view life? Filter out what you’ve been taught to be. Who are you—really?
Why is it so important to be correct? Because you’ll be more honest about what is driving you. Your type informs you about what is true, and there’s no need to deny any aspect of yourself that is true. Also, if you are honest, you’ll understand the possible defenses that protect you, have more options for change, and be open to be the best of all the types. Otherwise? You spend endless energy protecting yourself from that truth and the joy of life.
Explore the Deeper Motivation
Type is about motivation. A 1 and a 3 might complete the same project and have the same outcome, but the 1 will focus more on detail and perfection, while the 3 will hone in on speed and efficiency and winning. There are behaviors that indicate type, but until you know why people do what they do, you can’t be sure. Your environment plays a major role in developing these behaviors. If you have been shamed or invalidated for your motivations, you may have learned not to reveal your motivations to others or even to yourself. If you’ve been accepted for who you are and what you do, it’s easier.
Sorting It All Out
Here are some tips for when you’re trying to distinguish between two types and can’t decide which is dominant. A person may have characteristics of both, but you need to look for the bottom layer of the cake. This bottom layer supports the others—it’s the main stage—it’s the type. Gotta meet those type needs first, before moving on.
• 1 and 2—1s give because it’s the right thing to do, while 2s give in order to be loved and to please. 2s are more image-oriented, positive, and smiley. Both give advice for different reasons. 1s are more preachy and serious.
• 1 and 3—Both like efficiency, hard work, and success. 1s aim for perfection, which can slow progress, and 3s work fast and target winning, which can affect quality.
• 1 and 4—1 is a quality, detail, and moral perfectionist, and 4 is an emotional and aesthetic perfectionist, though the two types can trade back and forth on these qualities. 1s are honest to a t, and 4s create high intensity and drama, way beyond the t. 1s create or follow the rules and rebel fretfully. 4s rebel often, as individualists, and look for special attention. 4s want to define standards personally, but 1s look for rightness and universal standards.
• 1 and 5—5s are perfectionists with matters pertaining to knowledge and information, but believe in individuality. 1s, as moral perfectionists, think there are universal values to which everyone should conform. Not true for 5s at all, who are individualistic.
• 1 and 6—Both are detail-oriented and hard workers, but 6s are fear-based and more concerned about safety and security and danger. 1s just want to do the job right—they already feel safe.
• 1 and 7—1s are serious and control their desires. 7s are fun and light and tend to easily fulfill their desires. 1s, when secure, go to 7 and are more playful but not consistently like 7s. 7s go to 1, when stressed, and become critical.
• 1 and 8—1s and 8s both like control and power. 1s check their values, morality, and right actions before they act. 8s already trust their instincts and act quickly.
• 1 and 9—1s are hard workers, need perfection, demand high standards, and are often critical. 9s want comfort and ease and are highly tolerant of differences. The 9/1 can seem like a 1, but peace takes priority over perfection. They are not similar, though the 1 wing of a 9 can imitate some traits of the 1.
• 2 and 3—2s and 3s are both positive and achievement-oriented. 2s help and please people to be loved and 3s complete tasks and win to be loved and appreciated.
• 2 and 4—2s are into positive emotions. 4s can handle that, in addition to any emotion, and the darker the better. 2s smile and 4s may frown. 2s give attention and 4s both give and seek it. Both are very relationship-oriented. 4s can be giving but self-absorbed in their own process, and 2s bank on focusing on others’ needs as their means to security and affirmation. Both are emotional and when 2s are struggling with negative emotions, they can feel like a 4. Some 4s are very giving. Both are highly relational and romantic.
• 2 and 5—5s are intellectual and detached. 2s are more emotional and personal. 2s are looking for love and are codependent, and 5s are independent, looking for knowledge.
• 2 and 6—6s can be giving, too, but for the sake of security. 2s don’t worry so much about security. 2s are upbeat and 6s are worried. 6s are happy only as relief, before the next worry.
• 2 and 7—Both are positive, but 2 is more dependent on others’ responses. 7s are more independent and self-oriented.
• 2 and 8—2s are image-oriented and will alter to please. 8s are solid with who they are. 8s speak up, are more independent, and less concerned about consequences.
• 2 and 9—9s can seem like 2s. Both types are giving, though 9s give as a way of joining and seeking harmony, rather than for pleasing and needing personal appreciation. 2s are generally more selective in their giving.
• 3 and 4—4s want to be successful in both their inner and outer lives, while 3s will see too much inner process as a deterrent to outer success. 3s are more easily satisfied with outer success, while 4s want more depth, feeling, and an ideal love.
• 3 and 5—3s are image and impression-oriented. 5s are more knowledge-oriented. Though both 3s and 5s love competence, 3s prefer a winning edge. 3s crave attention and praise for their production success, whereas 5s are more okay alone, though they don’t mind some acknowledgement for their intellectual competence.
• 3 and 6—3s go into action, without much concern for dangers and problems. 6s stop to think and plan before they act. 3s don’t mind being in charge, whereas 6s hesitate. 6s in stress try to achieve like 3s but with anxiety and 3s, when secure, are like 6s, more team oriented and group identified.
• 3 and 7—3s complete what they start, even if it’s tedious. 7s don’t always finish what they start, particularly if it’s not fun. 3s need reward. 7s are rewarded in the moment by their own pleasure.
• 3 and 8—Both like to achieve. 3s are image-oriented and 8s like to explode images. 8s are directly honest and confrontational. 3s are not as brash.
• 3 and 9—9s prefer comfort and avoidance of conflict. Action is secondary. For 3, goals and action take the forefront. 9s are cozy and accommodating. 9s can be goal focused and productive (like 3s in a 3-type environment), in order to conform. 9s take breaks and 3s don’t have time!
• 4 and 5—5s perceive life primarily through the mind; 4s through the heart and emotions. 5s hold back; 4s tell their story. ⅘ wing and 5/4 wing can seem a bit similar on occasion.
• 4 and 6—4s and 6s both explore the dark side of life and both easily feel abandoned, but 6 more from the vantage point of safety and security needs not being met and 4 more from a lack of emotional connection and intensity. 6s look at life from the outside in (environment has to be safe) and 4s do both.
• 4 and 7—4s include pain and can over-focus on it. 7s tend to avoid emotional pain or have quick remedies to get over it to focus on the fun side of life. 7s are lighter; 4s are sometimes both dark and light. Both love intensity, excitement and change.
• 4 and 8—4s like emotional depth. 8s like direct honesty, which seems deep, but is actually about acting on body instinct. On the surface, 4s can feel either insecure or secure, and 8s almost always appear secure. 8s protect their insecurity more. 4s struggle with it or can’t hide it! Both are intense!
• 4 and 9—9s focus on others to create harmony and try to find their own identity through them. 4s try to find their identity through their inner feelings and being seen as special. 9s easily conform and 4s don’t. The Sexual subtype 9, the Merger, can seem like a 4, with a strong desire to merge and a higher tolerance for intensity than the two other 9 subtypes. 4s maintain their individuality, while 9s blend and merge. Both are very spiritually oriented.
• 5 and 6—5 and 6 are head and knowledge based. 5 is more detached, independent, private, and concerned about too much bonding. 6 is more relationship-oriented and anxious, wanting to be included, and afraid of abandonment.
• 5 and 7—5s are private. 7s generally are more social, lighter in tone, and motivated by fun and excitement. 5s are more motivated by serious pursuit of knowledge. 7s pursue knowledge, too, but with a lighter touch. 5s generally are depth; 7s are breadth. Both are intellectual and love to integrate knowledge.
• 5 and 8—5s are in their heads and 8s in their bodies. 5s mostly speak out when relating to learning. 8s speak out most all the time. 5s are private; 8s have loud speakers, though introvert 8s can seem 5ish.
• 5 and 9—5s and 9s can be look-alikes. Both can be withdrawn. 5s want solitude for thinking and integrating knowledge, 9s for escaping intensity and conflict and for comfort. 9s merge with others, are more peace-seeking and body-oriented; 5s are more self-oriented, independent, protective, and in their heads.
• 6 and 7—6s are more serious, anxious, and worried. 7s just want to have fun. 6s go below the surface, and 7s are on the surface. 7s like to start things, and 6s like to excavate things. 6/7 or 7/6 can blend a bit.
• 6 and 8—6s and 8s tend to challenge. 6s mentally challenge and 8s add the physical component to the challenge. 6s examine anything related to their concerns, and 8s go to the source of the problem. 6s doubt themselves—8s don’t.
• 6 and 9—6 is the stress point of 9, so 9s in stress can look like 6s, stay in fear, feel frozen, think about worst-case scenarios, have obsessive thinking, and forget they even have bodies. On a day-to-day basis, 6s scan the environment for danger, while 9s are more prone to overlook it and are too trusting. 9s generally are more relaxed and easygoing.
• 7 and 8—Both are full of life and energized; 7s more for fun and 8s with more control, though ⅞ is more direct and can appear as an 8. 7s are less confrontational, on average, than 8s. 7s are egalitarian; and 8s are as well, but only if they are in charge!
• 7 and 9—Both can be fun-oriented, but a 7 is more self-oriented than the 9 and tends to jump from one activity to the next. 7s are more hyper and 9s are more even-keeled, generally less animated, and very other centered.
• 8s are seldom mistaken for 9s, but a 9/8 wing can resemble an 8 at times and be fairly strong. The 8 can almost always speak up easily, where 9 hesitates. 8s are direct in their communication, and 9s tend to beat around the bush.
Taking the Typing Tests
Test anxiety? Not here! While Enneagram typing tests and assessments can be valuable, they are only one of the tools available. It’s easy to mistype yourself, if you rely solely on Enneagram assessments. You might take the test with your best or idealized self in mind or only consider traits you’ve developed. Begin from the perspective of what your natural tendencies are, not the ones you’d like to have or are working to cultivate. Then, include Enneagram readings and workshops, friends’ assessments, a teacher typing session, intuition, and self-reflection to help you decide correctly.
No Worries!
If you don’t determine your type immediately, or if it’s taking longer than you want, not to worry. Just be honest and keep learning about yourself. If you are afraid to see yourself clearly, have the courage to see the truth. Don’t be ashamed of who you are. You have a right to be the individual you are and may actually be somewhere between types. You are more than one, though one type generally is dominant. We are all interesting mixes. Take your time and, in the meantime, see the value in learning about others’ types.
All Good Things Come in Due Time
If you don’t find your type immediately, remember that you are on a journey, and you will come to clarity of your type in time. Some people spend months, or even years, before the destination becomes clear. But when they do arrive, they can see why it took so long: they didn’t want to see. Many people have all kinds of defenses in place. Some people lead with their wing or use another type to protect their own. Does your world accept your type tendencies? Some people lead with their secure or stress type, on the outside. And occasionally, a few people transcend their type and live in their growth type or become enlightened and more typeless, but that’s rare. The journey, though, is what it’s all about, actually. The destination will come in due time.
Center Stage for Your Center
Let’s type for your center! Are you a Head, a Body, or an Image type? Are you primarily about ideas and mental focus (Head type), down to earth and straightforward (Body type), or image and impression-oriented (Image type)? Image types generally are more concerned with dress, makeup, body build. Head types are learning-oriented and love information. Body types are more basic, going right to straight talk and honest answers. Once you’ve figured out your center, you’re halfway home!
About Those Subtypes
Self-Preservation, Social, or Sexual—whatever your subtype is, it causes you stress and occasionally grief. Whether it’s security, social issues, or intimate relationship issues, once you determine your subtype, you can then see how it fits into the exact description of your type. If the generic and specific description fits, then you’re on target. If not, don’t stress over it. Usually a person has a primary subtype, and then a secondary. Of course, we visit all the three generic categories, throughout life, so maybe one is dominant right now. Just be aware that people can have very different subtype issues, and don’t judge one as better or more important than another. They all are important but obsessive and it’s not unusual to have some qualities of all three of your type’s subtypes. If you can be sure of your subtype, however, it can help you determine your core type.
Wings: It’s All About Relationships
The wing is secondary to your core type. Sometimes your wing shows up in the thinking aspects of life, as much as in action. Wings can cause some major self-contradictions. You might hide or judge your wing. Accept it! It’s part of you. Don’t over-identify with anything. Just be honest. We all have contradictory parts. For example, a 9/8 can be assertive, controlling, or angry at times. This vies with the basic intention and self-image of the 9—peace! Your wing can provide you with strengths, as well as difficulties.
Gender and Type
Theoretically, type isn’t gender-specific, but gender still plays a role. For instance, running through the list of descriptors for the types, you might assume that all 8s are assertive, all 9s are accommodating, all 7s focus on fun, etc. But these are generalities. What do we know for sure about the sexes? That’s definitely a loaded question.
There is an important difference between sex and gender. Your sex is how you were born—male or female. Your gender and the roles assigned to you because of that gender are culturally and socially determined. Women, on average, are more relationship-oriented than men, but most all 2s, 4s, 6s, and 9s, men and women, are relationship-oriented and other-focused, whereas 5s are less so. It doesn’t mean relationship isn’t important for 5s. It’s just that the priority isn’t a demand. Type 2 girls may enjoy playing with dolls, while 5 girls might prefer to use that doll for practicing their first aid skills.
Lifelines
Be aware of all the pressures and images of being a gender, personality, or race. Enjoy being yourself, whoever you are. The more you accept you, the more you can expand.
Typically men are more detached, use less relational language, and tease more without being aware of the effect on others. These are generalizations, stereotypes, even. Yet, within the core type, there is similarity, despite gender differences.
People often try to live up to gender expectations, even if they don’t fit their real makeup. Whatever is true about you, is true. Gender expectations and reactions from those expectations can detour you from seeing the truth of your type. If you are an assertive woman or a sensitive man, so be it.
The 7 Deadly Sins Plus 2
Enneagram theory states that each type has an emotional fixation with one of the deadly sins, named as such by Pope Gregory in the sixth century. Two extra ones have been added since then. This information is useful for typing. What sin (limited quality or flaw) drives you and prevents you from feeling balanced? Many people are unaware of their sin and tend to suppress it, even though it is obvious to others. Here are the sins associated with each type, and how to balance those sins:
• 1s’ sin is Anger—anger at what is. This is the judging mind, not accepting what is happening now but thinking there is a right way and a should of how things ought to be. Healing this comes with acceptance and serenity of what is now.
• 2s’ sin is Pride—pride and arrogance in thinking that you know what is best for people, more than they do, while hiding your own needs. The balance is humility in being human, acceptance that you don’t always know what is best for others, and letting go of control.
• 3s’ sin is Deceit—the focus on image and the willingness to alter the truth to benefit your success. The balance is honesty and letting go of image. Instead of playing a role, be real.
• 4s’ sin is Envy—thinking you are missing something, longing for it, and feeling left out—wanting what others have. This longing, hurt, and pain prevent you from joining the human race, feeling good for others who have more than you (as you imagine), and seeing loss as normal. Healing is accepting what you have and enjoying your life.
• 5s’ sin is Greed—wanting to hoard your resources and not share them—whether your mind, your possessions, your time, your needs, or your expertise. You hide away, protecting yourself from engagement. The balance is generosity, sharing what you have and exposing your need to join others and be part of a community.
• 6s’ sin is Cowardice—you focus on fear and danger and problems and security, wanting others to protect you and give you answers. The answers are in you, not in others. Have the courage to be yourself, realizing you are the real authority. Have faith in life itself. Focus on what is good and safe.
• 7s’ sin is Gluttony—wanting to experience everything, not being satisfied with what is, always wanting more stimulation, constant excitement and experience. The balance is to be satisfied with what is and going for depth, as well as variety.
• 8s’ sin is Lust—going after what you want now and taking it. No patience or waiting. It’s mine. The balance is to learn to wait, experience others’ needs, as well as your own, let go of dominance and territorial control, allow weakness, and seek help.
• 9s’ sin is Sloth—not fully living life, falsely focusing on peace, avoiding conflict. The balance is to include yourself, be more self-centered, and not lazy with your own drive and goals. Be your individuality.
The Least You Need to Know
• Your core type is who you are. Being your type is natural and requires no effort on your part.
• Learning your type helps you understand the truth of who you are.
• Friends, family, and intuition can help you discover your core type.
• Your subtypes and your wings add depth and complexity to your core type.
• Growth comes as a result of understanding the strengths and struggles of your type.
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