Chapter Four

Build Bridges, Not Barriers

Successful leaders know how to build bridges with others to achieve their organizational objectives. They know the importance of building relations for the successful execution of activities and effective interpersonal relations. They spot the barriers and break them, and build relations that bring magical results to their organizations. In this chapter, we will discuss the significance of building bridges.

Bridges are the links while barriers are the obstacles. Life is in your hands and you can choose the way you want to lead. Either you can build bridges or create barriers. As man is a social animal who craves the company of others and wants to move with others, he definitely wants to build bridges.

A bridge allows you to cross to the other side smoothly. You can build bridges with others through love, warmth, friendliness, cooperation, understanding, forgiveness and a willingness to accept people as they are, rather than how we want them to be. A grateful attitude for the ability to build bridges helps to connect with others easily.

Leaders and Relations

Because the personal relationship defines the existing quality of interpersonal interaction between the leader and wouldbe followers, followers will not join the leader without the requisite relationship. Leadership is the relationship.¹

(Blank 1995: 12)

Leadership is all about relationships, breaking barriers and building bridges. Leaders must walk their talk to build relationships. They must create trust and goodwill among others. Unfortunately, most leaders are currently busy with their deadlines and pressures and do not find time to build relations. They do not give others the opportunity to grow relations. As a result, they find very many casualties; and then they get busy firefighting those casualties rather than building relations. However, if the leaders find time to build relations and exercise patience for a while, they can avoid organizational casualties, thus ensuring organizational excellence. Building relations is like a ‘ripple effect’, and it takes time for the waves to reach the shore. Leaders must have time to think through and demonstrate their leadership in a similar manner.

Tips to Build Bridges

People never care how much you know until they know how much you care.

John C. Maxwell

Building relations is not that easy as people have different emotions, feelings, needs and expectations. It is essential to know the other person in order to build relations. There must be a degree of flexibility to adjust and accommodate others. Here are some tips to build bridges:

• If you want to build relations, you must listen to others first. Listening is a great soft skill that connects with others easily. When you pay attention, it indicates respect towards others. While listening, pay attention with eye contact and a warm smile, as it helps to connect with others easily.
• Empathize with others. Empathy is about looking from others’ perspectives. It helps to step into the shoes of another person and view the situation as they would, thus connecting with others quickly.
• Learn to appreciate others. Everyone craves appreciation. It is the biggest tonic for any person. While showing appreciation, make sure that the other person deserves it, and that it should not sound like flattery.
• Remember the names and important dates and events of others and surprise them through greetings. It is the best way to connect with others and also indicates how much you remember and care for them.
• Praise quickly and criticize late. When the other person deserves a pat on the back, praise immediately by specifying the context and situation. And if you want to criticize others, ensure that the criticism is depersonalized and attack only the specific behaviour. Delay the process of criticism as your mind gets reformatted a number of times with better and polished phrases, words and sentences. As far as possible, avoid criticism.
• Attend to and console people when they are in distress. During good times, people might not need support from others. But they certainly need your support when they are in distress.
• Your intentions are more important than actions. Have a clear heart and express your intentions clearly, as it will then last for a longer time. And effective communication is the key to expressing your true intentions.
• Never dig up the unpleasant past as it vitiates a peaceful climate. Let bygones be bygones. Cherish the pleasant days of the past, not the unpleasant ones. Sometimes, recalling the unpleasant past opens a Pandora’s Box, thus breaking relations.

It takes years of effort to build bridges and seconds to break them. In fact, there is a bigger challenge in sustaining relations than in building them. Jean Leslie, a researcher at the Center for Creative Leadership (CCL), says, ‘Building relationships is one of the strongest skills sets related to leadership effectiveness.’ Relationships are essential for leadership effectiveness and success. Hence, leaders must build bridges at the workplace to enable the growth of their people and organizations. In addition, it enhances their leadership effectiveness and success.