Demeanour: setting the tone

Objective

The personal spark called leadership is frequently the difference between average and great performance. The key here is not simply what the leader should do, but what their team wants from them. This is demeanour – the way the leader behaves, day in, day out, across a range of issues and details.

Make no mistake, in any team, in any organisation, the leader is watched every step of the way and all actions are interpreted – separately and cumulatively – as statements of intent about the team or the organisation itself. Often without realising it, through demeanour the leader will be sending signals about the organisation every bit as relevant as any mission, vision, set of values, business plan or objectives – and often more closely observed.

It’s pretty obvious, but most staff know when they are in the presence of a leader rather than just a manager, and perhaps less obviously, in my judgement, they prefer it that way. There is no straightforward, concise definition of a leader, except we all tend to know when we are in the presence of one, and there’s certainly more to it than the now-aged assumption that it’s about doing things right rather than doing the right things. It’s not simply about issuing orders, being liked or, contrastingly, making difficult and unpopular decisions – though it may be about all of these! It is also not about hierarchy or the trappings of hierarchy – leadership is a characteristic that can be demonstrated in any role, in any function and at any time.

You must be aware that your demeanour – the way you are seen to behave – is a hidden but essential part of maximising your performance.

Context

Why do I say that organisations and staff crave this leadership demeanour? Most employees develop a bond with their organisations and teams which becomes close to dependency. Within that relationship they need a compass to manage their sense of followership. No one who commits at least one-third of their day to an organisation is likely to want to feel that it is in vain, that there is no guiding purpose. And that purpose needs embodiment at all levels in leaders – as expressed through their demeanour.

At this point two questions can be asked.

• Is effective leadership demeanour ever learned, or are the best leaders ‘natural’?
• Does ‘learned’ leadership risk being seen as a performance, and therefore fake?

This is a huge behavioural subject outside this book’s scope. Suffice it to say that while some people are born with natural leadership behaviours, there is no doubt that learned experience can contribute to a leader’s demeanour and effectiveness.

What you should do in this regard is to know the importance of learning – and to learn from your own experience and by watching others.

Challenge

Being a ‘manager’ is a label many have desired in the workplace, and one which implies a degree of success. Often it means we take on responsibility for other people, a team, the team’s activities, budgets and Key Performance Indicators (KPIs), as well as for the corporate glare on that team’s performance. It may also be a step-up associated with improvements in salary and benefits. Labels in work are extremely important and we should never underestimate the prestige associated with progress along the manager–director route.

Equally nor should we ever underestimate the importance of ‘management’ in delivering performance. No organisation succeeds without attention to customers, innovation, process, delivery and its staff. Management has the most significant role in making these things happen. Most managers will succeed if they achieve three objectives – the deliverables of their team must be clear, the processes for delivery must be tried, tested and retested, and they must have the right people in the right jobs.

The challenge to effective leadership demeanour is an excessive reliance on management rather than leadership behaviours. You must learn how management differs from leadership.

You meet this challenge by recognising that:

• you are a leader (and don’t be too modest to admit it);
• leadership is not reserved for a hierarchical few;
• leadership is about the tone of your behaviour, not a rule book to be followed.

Success

Does this mean that as a leader you are an actor? No, emphatically it does not, because phoniness is always rumbled – but it does mean that, like an actor, you should be aware of the impact of your words and actions.

So what are the key aspects of leadership demeanour that teams look for?

• Visibility – be seen on a regular basis. Visibility represents involvement, commitment and contact and allows the ‘you’ in any leader to shine through.
• Messaging – convey regular and consistent messages. No leader is trusted who changes their tune!
• Direction – express a clear sense of where the organisation is going, why and how. No leader is worthy of the name who does not suggest to a team a direction of travel and clear, measureable goals.
• Approachability – be approachable on a one-to-one basis. Leaders who intimidate or are aloof make leadership remote and disempowering.
• Listening – listen to other people and absorb their views. You should openly respect the greater skills that all your staff will have in specialist areas.
• Fairness – deal with difficult situations fairly and with integrity. All leaders have tough decisions to make, and you will always be respected for the manner with which you deal with them.
• Performance management – be seen to reward success and tackle poor performance. Most team members respond in an environment where success is heralded and weak performance constructively highlighted.
• Personal development – be committed to personal development. Learning is never finished, and the best leaders and organisations never pigeonhole employees as ‘beyond development’.
• Innovation – be open to challenge and new ideas. Teams innovate more when creative sparks are encouraged, and robust debate is welcomed.
• Respect – be wholly respectful of gender, ethnic and cultural differences. A diverse team reflects the world we live in, and a team whose membership is based on merit is a team in which opportunity drives innovation and success.

Pitfalls

One of the most significant risks to any leader is a lack of awareness of their impact on colleagues. Most critically your demeanour will be undermined by:

• lack of contact with staff – distancing simply limits the opportunity to make an impact;
• lack of consistency in messaging – this undermines the credibility of all messages, and especially strategic goals and objectives;
• lack of fairness in decision-making – decisions made without sensible consultation, or decisions applied inconsistently, will undermine a leader’s integrity and credibility.

A leader has to stand out from the crowd. You won’t if you are aloof, inconsistent and unreliable. At its worst, this potential masking of leadership creates a vacuum along with uncertainty and a lack of direction.

Leaders’ checklist

• Be aware that you set a demeanour ‘tone’ from your first day – plan for it.
• Don’t allow yourself to enter an organisation without a planned approach, and be sure that you are visible from day one onwards. It is vital to ensure that, as a leader, you are seen and not simply heard or heard of.
• Be consistent – set out ways of working and stick to them so that colleagues are clear about the culture in which they are working.
• Do not allow yourself to be buffeted by events, which will always include the unforeseen and unpleasant, but hold on to your basic tenets.
• Ensure that there is a predictability in approach, though not necessarily in outcome, so that colleagues have a clear view of what is expected of them.
• Be clear that the buck stops with you and that you are accountable, and not just the passive executor of others’ ideas.
• Be clear that this means that you are accountable for tough decisions and that you will not shirk them. But, critically, never convey any sense that a leader’s role is do others’ jobs for them – on the contrary, it is to provide the circumstances in which they can flourish.
• Be honest – always say what you think and gain the trust that you are not manipulative.
• Be generous in communication – never assume you have communicated too much, and never stop. It is a golden rule that you are only believed if you convey the same messages repeatedly so that they are credible.