CHAPTER FOUR

Putting the Gift Formula into Action

Imagine a good friend comes up to you with a lovely wrapped gift in hand to congratulate you at your new housewarming party. Your body language would signal your pleasure at seeing them and receiving the gift. After greeting them, the first thing you would say would be to acknowledge their thoughtfulness: “Thank you. Thank you for driving over here to celebrate with us. And thank you for the lovely present.”

What if you opened this gift and found a coffee-table book purchased just for you? What would you say? “Wow! Thank you. I’m so pleased. I’ve wanted this book since we bought our new home. I’ve been reading reviews about how inspiring it is. How thoughtful of you to get it for me. How did you know I love these types of books? I’ll think of you as I look at it. I’m going to put it out on our coffee table and start on it tonight.” Okay, maybe it wouldn’t be so profuse, but it would be something along those lines.

Now imagine a customer has called with a service complaint: “My name is Sam Johnson, and my internet keeps going down. I keep getting disconnected, but your advertising goes on and on about how you’ve got the most reliable network around. And that’s not all. My first bill charged for usage when I know the system was down—for three days. But that doesn’t surprise me. If you can’t get the connections right, you probably can’t get your billing right!” Would you say, “Thank you for calling and telling us. How thoughtful of you. We really appreciate it.” Probably not.

But when we receive a housewarming gift, we do not hesitate. We say “Thank you.” Why do we do this? Because your friend took the time to get something for you. What about complaining customers? Are they friends? Or are they enemies? What are most of them trying to do? What are they giving you? It’s as if they have gifted you with a book written just for you called Listen to Me, Treat Me Well, and I’ll Stay with You, so don’t say, “Go away. I’ve got one like this on my coffee table, and I don’t want to look at another. I’m too busy.”

When encountering the customer whose modem keeps disconnecting, many company representatives will start by asking a barrage of identification questions: “What is your name? How do you spell that? What is your phone number? Is that your cell phone? What’s your email? What’s your address? When did you start your service? What is the product number of your modem? (If you don’t have it handy, it’s on the bottom of your device in such tiny digits you’ll need a magnifying glass to read it.) Do you have your monthly bill in front of you? When did you send in your last payment?” They may blame the weather, sighing and saying, “We hear a lot of complaints about disconnects due to the high winds we’ve been having.” They may attack their own company by saying, “Those dropped calls on the internet happen a lot. It’s unbelievable that our advertising says we’re the best in the business. If that’s true, it makes you wonder about all the other wireless companies.”

If customers are lucky, they will get an apology. But few customer service people will say “Thank you” right off the bat. They may say “Thank you” at the end of the conversation, by which time customers are likely so annoyed it’s a meaningless phrase.

What if someone gave you a book for your housewarming present and you responded with a barrage of questions, “Where did you buy it? Did you pay full price for it or get it on Amazon? Come on. Fess up. How do I know you haven’t already looked at it or downloaded the Kindle version to your iPhone?” You would never be so ungracious about a gift. You would say “Thank you,” and you would mean it— even if you already had a copy.

The Three-Step Gift Formula

When someone gives you a gift you immediately dislike, your first thought might be “What kind of a gift is this? How could anyone, let alone a good friend, think I want this?” Yet you still manage to put on an appreciative facial expression and thank the gift giver, even while you may be thinking, “Whom can I regift this to?” We must become so comfortable with the A Complaint Is a Gift mindset that we don’t hesitate to respond with gratitude even if we receive a clunker gift.

Curiosity will shape our entire interaction with the gift giver. If our attitude is deeply ingrained, as in the case of saying “Thank you” when we receive a gift, then when someone complains to us, we will put ourselves in the mindset that we are about to receive something of value. We will not have to think our way through it; our natural response will be as if we have received something extraordinary—or at least something to arouse our curiosity.

How can we develop this mindset? First, it’s helpful if everyone in the organization talks the language behind the idea that complaints are gifts. The idea needs to be reinforced at every meeting, on wall posters, and in all conversations and educational and training sessions about customer service. Second, to support a complaint-friendly philosophy, company policies, compensation systems, operational systems, communication systems, mission, vision, values, and managerial behavior must be aligned. Finally, we must learn some fundamental techniques for handling complaints. We can start this by using the following Gift Formula.

The Gift Formula is a step-by-step process, which when delivered in a set order, makes the most impact. Having said this, you may find occasions when varying the sequence or enhancing the suggested language will be more appropriate. You can also combine the steps. I’ve heard some good combination phrases! The steps are as follows:

If you have read either of the previous two editions of A Complaint Is a Gift, you probably noticed the Gift Formula was outlined in eight steps. Don’t worry. The content is still all there, but it’s been condensed into three main steps. This change was made for the simple reason that three steps are easier to remember than eight. My company tested it with some large corporations and found that service providers remained focused on the first of eight steps relating to rapport and ignored the rest. Reducing the formula to three steps resulted in complaint handlers covering the entire formula, and that final step of addressing the issue inside the organization so it doesn’t recur is essential.

Respond by Building Rapport

Rapport is a French word by origin that means to create a relationship where people understand each other and their feelings. It’s a concept used in all languages. People understand the concept of rapport, as it conveys the same idea everywhere—and it’s a great starting point to build a solid foundation for a positive relationship.

If you have a good rapport with your work colleagues, family members, or neighbors, it doesn’t matter if you make a small mistake. You fix it, and they don’t attack you. The same thing is true when it comes to complaints. Customers will likely share their complaints without hostility if you start with rapport. They’ll know you intend to help them. People who are in rapport are generally open, tolerant, and cooperative. Customers will feel confident in your service, which is not a bad place to start handling a complaint. Embrace the following four behaviors to move you toward a relationship of rapport.

Start with “Thank You”

Don’t invest any energy in deciding whether customers have a legitimate complaint or not when you first hear them speak. Know that you will receive a gift, which encourages your response of gratitude. We gain enormous benefit when we have immediate rapport with our customers, and to do that, we must meet them where they are. You’ll probably be surprised at the reaction you get. There is no better way to make someone feel welcome than to say “Thank you.”

Most people never start by thanking someone for a complaint. Instead, handling a complaint with an apology—“I’m sorry”— is deeply entrenched in languages and cultures worldwide. However, when someone writes a response letter to a complaint, they invariably start their letter with an expression of thanks, such as, “Thank you for writing to tell us about . . .” If starting with gratitude is a logical way to begin a written response to a complaint, why shouldn’t it work for verbal complaints? Since you have more time to think about the best way to start a response when writing, it’s best to follow that method.

Try an experiment. Ask someone to thank you after you express a complaint. Notice your emotional reaction upon hearing “Thank you.” After teaching the Gift Formula in a hotel-based workshop, a participant left the seminar room and saw a horrible mess in the hallway. You don’t need to know what it was. Please take my word for it that it was bad. The participant grabbed a passing hotel employee and pointed it out. The employee responded, “That’s horrible! Thank you so much for letting me know! I’ll get it cleaned up immediately.” The other participants who were leaving the seminar room for a break saw this exchange and got excited because they had firsthand experience of how good it feels to be thanked for bad news.

Your expression of thanks should be as natural and spontaneous as the gratitude you express when receiving a present. Eye contact, an understanding nod, and a friendly smile can work wonders to create rapport. Make sure your body language demonstrates you appreciate the complaint and support your customer’s right to complain.

People tell me they feel uncomfortable the first time they respond by saying “Thank you.” They say it feels fake and unnatural and make other protest statements. But when I ask how the people who just received their gratitude feel, they typically report that it sounds great, makes them relaxed, and lowers their arousal. As I say to everyone and will tell you now, “This statement sounds better than it feels to say.”

Almost all of us feel uncomfortable the first few times we start with “Thank you,” but with practice, that unease goes away; in fact, it becomes so natural we hardly have to think about saying it. Remember, most children have to learn to say “Thank you” when they are toddlers. “Say ‘thank you,’” their parents repeatedly nudge, and the little tyke says something resembling “Thank you” and is rewarded with a smile or hug. Eventually, the child learns to say “Thank you” almost automatically when given something. Writing thank-you letters is another example. It generally takes years to get children to write them—and not just send a quick text with emoticons.

Think of a complaint you recently made—not necessarily a whiny, demanding complaint but a statement about something amiss. Did you hear a “Thank you” right out of the box? In early December 2021, I went to the front desk of the hotel I was staying at to check out. I wanted to take the opportunity to report that the coffee maker in my room did not work. The woman staffing the front desk slowly came out from a back room, not happy to see me. I must have interrupted her. “Yes,” she said, with annoyance and negativity in her tone, not looking at me. I told her I was leaving and wanted to let the hotel know that the coffee maker in my room didn’t work. She became engaged with her electronic device, pushing buttons, and said, “I’ll send someone up to check on it.” That was the extent of her rapport. She offered no greeting, no thanks, and nothing to reflect the friendliness of the hotel. She didn’t even say, “Goodbye. I hope you have a wonderful day.” I indicated I was leaving, so there was no rush about the coffee maker, and I left with a negative feeling about a big brand name in the hotel industry.

I am pretty sure if you asked her how she handled this complaint, she might not even recognize my comment as a complaint. Most likely, she would say, “Well, I told her I would send someone to check on it. What else could I do?” Here’s what she could have done. She could have greeted me, smiled at me, and asked if everything was okay with the room. Then I would have told her about the coffee maker, and she could have thanked me for alerting her. She needed some awareness about the concept of rapport and why it’s a good idea to start there. Her complaint handling wasn’t terrible, but it chipped away at this hotel’s reputation in the competitive branded hospitality industry.

Here’s another relevant question: how does someone in the service industry learn that starting an interaction with an imperious yes is an appropriate beginning to establish rapport? If corporate service managers knew how she represented their famous brand, they would surely be disappointed. If you look at their advertising, they don’t see themselves this way.

I’ve heard remarkable stories from people who have experimented with first thanking their customers or someone they were interacting with. The most amazing of these stories is told by Victoria Holtz, my coauthor of A Complaint Is a Gift Workbook. Victoria lives in Mexico City, where kidnappings for ransom are not entirely rare. Close to her first child’s birth, her husband was kidnapped. She received a call from the kidnappers, who demanded ransom money. They said they hadn’t harmed her husband—yet. What would you have done? Victoria took in a deep breath of air and didn’t say anything for a long moment. She knew the next words out of her mouth would no doubt be the most important she ever said.

The Gift Formula passed through her mind. With as much sincerity and gratitude as she could muster in her voice, she said, “Thank you for not harming him.” She paused and then continued, “You see, he’s going to be a father soon.” It was quiet on the other end of the line, and the conversation resumed in an entirely different manner. Her husband, who was with the kidnappers, said the atmosphere changed. After more discussion, the kidnappers released her husband unharmed and gave up their demand for a ransom. I’ve heard Victoria tell this story live, and it is much more involved and simply remarkable to listen to what happened in her own words. You can read about it in A Complaint Is a Gift Workbook.

Saying “Thank you” is not enough to take care of any complaint, but this step is the foundation for establishing rapport. You aren’t just fixing problems, which would just be taking customers back to where they started when they bought something they initially felt good about purchasing. You need to address their emotions to move them beyond when they began to realize they bought a lemon product. Instead, you are developing rapport with your customers and affirming the gift you are receiving from them.

Consider the field of real estate, where rapport is critical. Homes aren’t likely to be sold without a high level of rapport between the agent and buyer. With rapport, the buyer can trust the process, knowing someone will protect their interests while making one of the most significant purchases of their life. Fiduciary laws are clear about this relationship. Confidentiality must be protected. The agent must disclose all material information about a property and never mislead to sell a property. All this helps establish a connection between buyer and seller. But clearly, it takes more than meeting legal requirements to create rapport. This same type of rapport must be cultivated between the customer with a complaint (or issue or feedback) and a representative of the service or product.

Incidentally, the coffee-table book we referred to brought as a gift for a housewarming present wasn’t the real gift, as wonderful as it might be. It’s the thought behind the book. The same thing is true about customer complaints. It’s not the complaint itself that is the gift; it’s the discussion with the customer that is going to help by fixing the issue and probably retaining the customer’s loyalty. If the complaint handler sees the conversation as an opportunity, instead of rushing to a judgment of “Why can’t they talk a little faster?” or “How many times do I have to explain this to them?” it helps. Mindsets about complaints have a huge influence on what is going to happen in any complaint-handling situation. Even if CSRs have no awareness of how their mindsets are impacting their behavior, their mindsets still matter.

Here’s a relevant example. Financial Services Authority (FSA), the United Kingdom government agency that regulates the financial services industry, conducted a survey of UK banking groups to investigate how the banks were handling customer complaints. The FSA’s mission is to ensure banks “fairly treat” their financial customers. The FSA found poor complaint standards in most of the banks it surveyed. Here’s the link to mindsets: the FSA found a direct connection between company leadership mindsets about complaints and how customers were treated. Customers, in other words, can sense when an organization sees complaints as a gift or as a necessary evil.

The FSA took another step, identifying three drivers of poor complaint handling:

The FSA’s basic position is that the way complaints are handled is connected to how the firm treats its customers in general. I completely agree. I have long maintained if an organization can get its complaint handling down right, then it no doubt also offers good customer service and treats its customers fairly. The FSA states that complaint handling is a “very visible indicator of whether a firm is paying attention to fair outcomes for its customers.”¹

Briefly Explain Why You Are Happy Your Customer Spoke Up

“Thank you” by itself can sound cynical or worthless. You need to say something about what the complaint means to you. For example, the complaint will allow you to fix the problem better and change something in your service processes to make sure others won’t face this problem: “Thank you for speaking up,” “Thank you, I’m really glad you told me so I can fix this for you,” “Thank you. I’m happy you shared this because it gives me a chance to improve our service or product— and this is what we stand for,” or “We’re better than this. Thank you for letting me know.”

Even though you would never say this, the complete thought that needs to infuse your mindset is, “Thanks for telling me. You can’t believe how many people walk away without saying anything even when they are dissatisfied, making it likely we will probably lose their business and keep repeating the same mistakes over again. Not only that, but they also tell others when we can’t defend ourselves. And we want to make things right because we value your business. We’re trying to keep every customer we can as a long-term customer so we can develop our business and better serve you. In addition, you are speaking up about something we promised you. It’s why we really do appreciate your coming up to us and saying something. Thank you, thank you, thank you.” That’s the A Complaint Is a Gift mindset. It’s too much to say out loud, but if you can keep this attitude clearly in mind, then the short version, “Thank you for telling me,” will communicate your entire mindset, reinforce your belief a complaint is a gift, and build rapport with your customers.

Some complaints are presented almost as simple comments. These can be, for example, about prices. Most people tell me these complaints can be among the most difficult to handle. Frankly, many service representatives tell me that they agree with customer comments about prices in private. Some will even say, “I agree. Prices here are outrageous—even with my staff discount, I never shop here. Costco sells the same thing for half the price.” To get your CSRs never to say anything like that, you must give them something else to say. Frequently, CSRs don’t know why prices are set the way they are.

To help employees spot these types of complaints, they need to know customers will rarely say, “I’d like to complain about your prices.” Instead they’ll say something like this: “Ouch! Your prices are really high compared to . . .” or “Wow, your prices have really gone up in the past year.” Sometimes they’ll get quite direct: “You must be kidding! You’re charging this much!” All these statements are complaints, and they provide a wonderful chance to use the Gift Formula. “Thank you so much for asking about our prices. It gives me a chance to explain.” Asking is the keyword here. Then, of course, you have to justify the value the customer receives from buying at your price point.

I’ve covered this topic in many seminars and have found most people cannot explain their company’s prices. They’ve never even thought about having to justify their pricing. Organizations need to prepare a price justification statement and make sure everyone who has customer contact knows what to say when pricing emerges its challenging head. If you are a customer-facing employee, whenever you hear a complaint about prices you don’t know how to justify, ask your manager or supervisor for help. They may never have thought about the issue, and they need to.

Ask sales professionals how they handle pricing questions. They all say to put your emphasis on value. You or your company are selling at a price appropriate for the value the customer will receive. Of course, you have to describe what your value is. Ken Dooley, a veteran sales author for more than twenty years, agrees. He suggests placing your emphasis on value whenever facing pricing objections. When customers object to the price they paid for something they bought in the past, they are probably saying they paid too much now that they own the product. It could be something that has been broken or damaged or does not work according to expectations. The conversation always needs to move back to value.²

Customers may be complaining about one issue, but the price they paid is related to the complete product. For example, a customer might complain about a small scratch on the new computer they bought, insinuating the scratch is equivalent to the total price they paid of $3,500. Maybe they aren’t complaining about the scratch, but instead they found the same computer for $500 less at another store and your return guarantee has come and gone. In any complaint situation, question and listen so you can figure out how to proceed. Incidentally, complaints will benefit from group discussions as they are educational for everyone.

Apologize Briefly but Sincerely

To maintain and deepen the rapport you have established by saying thanks, you also need to apologize for any perceived mistakes. But the apology shouldn’t be the first step. You create greater rapport with customers by saying, “Thank you. I appreciate your telling me about this.” Then pause and apologize: “May I apologize? I’m really sorry this happened.”

The 2015 National Customer Rage Study asked one thousand customers what they want when complaining. Three-quarters said they want an apology. Only 28 percent receive one.³ The 2015 National Customer Rage Study concluded that when a remedy such as an apology was added to monetary relief as a way to fix the complaint, complaint satisfaction nearly doubled from 37 percent to 73 percent. When customers complain, they may not hear an apology even when one is given.⁴ Customers may say, “no one even apologized,” when someone did. The customers were probably so involved in complaining they didn’t hear the apology. That’s why it’s a good idea when writing a response to a complaint to apologize close to the start of your letter and then apologize again at the end of your letter.

Many organizations tell their employees to apologize first. If this is your company’s approach, you may have little choice except to apologize first. However, beginning with a “Thank you” starts a chain of communication both the speaker and listener can participate in, and that’s an effective way to begin. When I hear “Thank you for telling me,” it makes me think someone will do something for me. “I’m sorry” leaves me feeling that is all I’m going to get—and it’s why the person is apologizing.

When you do apologize, say “I” as much as possible instead of “we.” “We’re sorry” does not sound sincere. Those other people you are apologizing for don’t even know what is happening. CSRs have asked me why they should say they’re sorry when the customer is clearly at fault. They say, “If I apologize, then aren’t I taking responsibility for something the customer did?” Elise Dopson, a marketing strategist, explains apologies this way: “Apologizing does not always mean that you’re wrong and the other person is right. It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego.”⁵ I like Dopson’s approach because she seems to be stating something quite obvious: our egos can get in the way of effective complaint handling.

Humans say they are sorry for all sorts of things they aren’t responsible for. If you know someone who has experienced a death in the family, a natural, courteous expression is to say “I’m so sorry.” You’re not saying you caused the death. You’re saying you are sorry the person is going through this experience. It has nothing to do with fault or blame. In the same way, when we tell a customer we’re sorry about something that happened, it doesn’t matter who did what to whom or who caused something to happen. We wish it hadn’t happened. The customer will understand your concern and appreciate your empathetic statement. If you’re not sorry, maybe you’ve been working too hard and should take a little break. Lack of empathy is a sign of burnout, and complaint handlers frequently suffer from stress and eventual burnout.

When customers are offered a well-delivered apology, they’re also much less likely to switch to another supplier when they have problems. Customers say whatever problem they faced didn’t feel so bad once they got an apology. Apologies are clearly much more than simple words; they’re a concrete offering.

One more note about your language. Don’t say, “I’m sorry for any inconvenience caused.” Inconvenience is a mushy term that does not begin to describe what some customers are put through. It means troublesome, bothersome, or uncomfortable. At times the “inconveniences” caused by organizations are much more than merely troublesome. They can be significant. I spent five hours in an acute care center waiting to be seen about severe ankle pain so bad I couldn’t walk. When they finally called my name, I told them I had been waiting for more than five hours. The nurse responded, “I’m sorry for your inconvenience.” Excuse me, five hours sitting with extreme pain with no input from medical personnel is not just an inconvenience. It’s outrageous and unbelievably bad health-care service.

When my name was called, I was put in another waiting room to wait for my diagnostician to see me. When I pointed out this was much more than “inconvenient,” the nurse said, “Well, have you noticed we have an epidemic?” Yes, of course, I had noticed. But it would have been nice to have someone come up to me, apologize for my wait, perhaps ask if I would like water to drink, and tell me they were doing everything possible to get to me as soon as possible. Even though the five hours waiting was perhaps required because of how busy the center was, empathy would also have been helpful. After all, the woman at the check-in desk said it wouldn’t be a very long wait. Many service providers don’t understand why a wishy-washy statement about inconvenience doesn’t make up for such a wait. Here’s what could have been said: “I deeply apologize for what happened. I’m sure you didn’t like waiting here for five hours with a painful foot. Please accept my concern and apologies. This shouldn’t have happened.”

Most people will accept an apology appropriate to their situation. Don’t exaggerate your apologies, but sometimes we need to get down on our knees and crawl on broken glass because of the problems we create for our customers. You may have heard about the United Airlines kerfuffle when airport security guards pulled Dr. David Dao off an evening flight. It was a confusing situation—the flight was overbooked, no one volunteered to leave, and Dao’s name was selected to take a later flight scheduled to leave the following morning. He refused to leave his seat, saying he had medical patients to see the next morning in Louisville, Kentucky, where the plane was headed. Unfortunately, Dao was forcibly removed from the plane by security, with blood on his face, dragged down the aisle, and taken off the plane. Four years later, you can still watch the video on the internet.⁶

Airlines are legally allowed to ask seated passengers to disembark when they need the seats for airline personnel who have to meet a plane waiting at another airport with inadequate crew levels. Here’s the first apology Oscar Munoz, United Airlines CEO, issued: “This is an upsetting event to all of us here at United. I apologize for having to re-accommodate these customers.” This apology didn’t fly with anybody, so United got days of “Can you believe this?” type of coverage on most news channels.

Munoz’s second public apology was a bit humbler:

The truly horrific event . . . elicited many responses . . . outrage, anger, disappointment. I share all of those sentiments, and one above all: my deepest apologies for what happened. Like you, I continue to be disturbed . . . and I deeply apologize to the customer forcibly removed and to all the customers aboard. No one should ever be mistreated this way. . . . We take full responsibility and we will work to make it right. It’s never too late to do the right thing. I have committed to our employees that we are going to fix what’s broken so this never happens again.

With that apology, the press finally began to let go of the story. I am a high-mileage flier on United, and I also received a personally addressed email from Munoz, worded slightly differently, and making a pitch directly to me: “Dear Ms. Barlow: I’ve heard a lot of understandable anger and disappointment this week from customers and, as one of our most valued customers, I wanted to be sure you heard directly from me.” That’s classy, and I’m still flying with United.

A final word about apologies: it’s better not to say multiple times you are sorry. Researchers have found that demonstrating what you will do to solve the customer’s problems is better than continuing to apologize.⁷ If apologizing is all you do, it quickly wears thin. Don’t let the apology and relationship building extend beyond the first few moments of the customer conversation.

Jagdip Singh, a well-known customer service thought leader, says, “It’s not about the solution—it’s about how you get there.” Customers want service responders to “sense, seek, and settle.” Singh suggests to sense what is going on, seek potential solutions, and settle the best outcome for the customer. That communicates confidence.⁸ The point is while apologies are essential, they can also be overdone. It’s time to move on to what you will do once the customer has heard you are sorry this problem occurred. Consultants at Katzenbach Partners in New York found that average performers at call centers apologized about what they couldn’t do, while “high performers always offered something.”⁹

Tell Your Customer What You Will Do

And that leads us right into the last part of establishing rapport. Tell customers what you are going to do. This part of rapport building is perhaps the easiest to say: “I promise you I’ll do my best to fix this situation as soon as possible.” You can offer many different responses, and it typically makes the customers’ eyes light up if you have already established rapport by thanking them for speaking up and then giving a quick apology. You could say any of these statements: “I’m going to take care of this right away,” “Let me see what I can do,” “I can fix that. Just give me a couple of minutes,” or “So glad you called. I’m going to do everything I can to get you the right answer.”

It’s not uncommon to hear customers say they expect professional knowledge from accounting firms. Yet they also say it isn’t the most important thing they consider when choosing a firm. While they expect the expertise, the empathy and personal concern shown to them is a big part of what makes them stay. Customers know something will be done, and they can relax because rapport has been established. Then you have to do something.

Service recovery has two aspects: emotional and tangible. The emotional dimension helps everyone feel better about the situation that has created dissatisfaction. The tangible dimension is doing something to fix the problem. Tangible responses are steps requiring action, money, or time, though it’s sometimes as simple as finding an answer for a customer. Establishing rapport is part of the intangible emotional response of the Gift Formula and is easy to implement and costs nothing except staffing costs, which would have already been incurred. Because of this, it’s also, unfortunately, easy for companies to discount its significance.

When you first start establishing rapport, you may feel clumsy because you don’t naturally talk like that. Your language may not be fluent, and it will probably take you a little time to get everything said you want to say. But with practice, your phrasing becomes smoother, more sincere, and appropriate: “Thank you for calling to tell us what happened. I appreciate it because now I can do something for you. I really apologize for the trouble this caused you. It must have been frustrating to order one size and get another. I’ll get you the right size as soon as possible. By the way, that is a beautiful garment.”

Recover by Fixing the Issue

By following the first step of the Gift Formula, you have established rapport. You started by thanking the complaining customer and stated why you are happy your customer spoke up. You apologized briefly and sincerely and then told the customer what you will do for them. That is all initiated by you. At this point, you need something from the customer.

Ask for Information

Customers have brought you a gift, the basis on which you can ask for information. You’ve established rapport quickly so they know you will follow through and do something for them. But you need information. Say something such as, “For me to help you, could you please give me some information?” and not “I need some information, otherwise I can’t help you.” At this point in the complaint-handling process, you’re the one asking for help.

Only ask for what is necessary. You must know in advance the information you need to help them, and identifying this information should be part of your company’s complaint-handling process. Make sure you ask for enough information, or you’ll have to come back for more—or force the customer to recontact you. Sometimes by asking for information, you will learn what’s bothering your customers. They may have mentioned one aspect, believing they have accurately presented the problem, but after asking a few questions, you both may discover the real issue is different.

Fix the Issue as Quickly as You Can

Promptness in making a situation right is essential, so show a sense of urgency. The customer can see or experience speed, which lets them know you are working hard. Speed also helps you get back in balance with the customer. Rapid responses say you are serious about service recovery. If you can’t resolve the issue quickly, get in touch with the customer to let them know where you are in the process of recovery.

Follow Up to Check for Satisfaction

Sometimes customers want only to let you know something happened; they don’t necessarily want anything tangible from you. They may say, “It’s all right, you don’t have to do anything. I just wanted to make sure someone at your company knows.” Sometimes they will also say, “I just want to make sure no one has to deal with this in the future.” Check whether they’ll be satisfied if you do the specific tangible thing related to their complaint.

Business researchers have found most customers prefer that material mishaps—such as damaged orders, broken goods, or products not delivered on time as promised—be corrected, followed with a sincere apology. If they ask you to fix a malfunctioning computer, most do not expect financial compensation because they lost a day of work. In general, the majority who complain in restaurants expect their problems will be fixed (meat cooked a bit longer, overcooked eggs replaced) and a replacement offered with sincere apologies.¹⁰ Only a minority of diners look for compensation, contradicting a widely held belief that customers complain to get something for nothing. The comparative study between Indian and American diners cited above also points out satisfaction with recovery actions is not the same but is based on the diner’s country or culture. Indian customers, for example, prefer apologies over refunds. American diners are more likely to want compensation, such as a free dessert. In short, a belief that compensation works best does not apply to everyone worldwide.¹¹

The cherry on top of the cake is to check back to see if you met customers’ needs. Follow up. Call customers back or send an email to find out what happened. If you do this, your customers will fall out of their chairs in amazement. Few organizations do anything like this. If appropriate, tell them what steps you have taken to prevent this from happening in the future so they feel good about having helped you with their complaint. Thank them again for contacting you. You are now in a partnership that may last for years based on a simple contact.

You might say this will take too much time. All it usually takes is a brief telephone call or email, but one the customer will remember. You may even reach the person’s voice mail, in which case you can leave a message. (We have an excellent activity in A Complaint Is a Gift Workbook on how to leave voice-mail messages.) You don’t necessarily need to speak to customers in person. If you have a chance to change the relationship so customers feel they are in partnership with you, time and money will be well spent. At this point, it’s no longer complaint handling but rather marketing and sales that started as complaint handling.

If the customer tells you everything is still not satisfactory, you have been given a second opportunity—a second gift—to fix his problem. Your customer had a problem and told you about it—disappointment number one. Whatever you did to fix it didn’t meet his expectations. That’s disappointment number two, even though an effort was made.

Here’s an example of how this works. I own two Vitrazza glass chair mats. They are beautiful and so much a cut above (and price above!) plastic office mats. Unfortunately, one of the mats did not stay in place on my office wood floor. I emailed Vitrazza and immediately received a reply stating, “Thank you for reaching out to Vitrazza!” The representative writing suggested using little rubber tabs to help hold the mats in place. I wrote back saying they didn’t seem to work and asked if he could recommend anything else. In his following email, he wrote, “I see you placed your order over a year ago, so I am wondering if the new Stabil-a-Dots may help with the issue. I am happy to send you a few sets if you would like to try.”

Wow! I didn’t indicate when I purchased the mats. I completely forgot the time of purchase. But the customer support specialist knew without having to ask. Here’s what this correspondence says to me: Vitrazza has thought its customer service through to the detail level. It isn’t just looking at making a great product. It wants to make sure it works for the customer. And it will extend its warranty if it’s a little over the deadline. I would never have known if I hadn’t contacted the company and given it a chance to thrill me with its response. The new dots worked! This was a potential negative word of mouth that turned into a positive one!

Address the Issue Inside the Organization So It Doesn’t Recur

You’ve established rapport and fixed the specific customer problem. Now you and your organization need to learn something from the complaint. After all, you don’t want to continue to face the same mistake again and keep hearing the same complaint. It’s time to manage the complaint. You were handling it by creating rapport and fixing the problem. Now you need to manage it. Make sure the complaint gets addressed throughout your organization to reduce this kind of problem in the future.

Look at your process. How did this problem happen? Yes, no doubt people were involved, but what types of processes resulted in unsatisfactory behavior for your customers? CSRs are more likely to pass along complaints if they know the complaint helps the organization improve rather than blames staff. Here’s a practical guideline: fix your system without rushing to blame someone else. For the complaint to indeed become a gift, the root causes of the problem must be identified. As a Hewlett-Packard (HP) executive in the customer satisfaction department located in Cupertino, California, once said some years ago that still applies today, “We can say we’re listening, but it’s not until we take action that things really start happening.”¹² HP has, for a long time, logged its customer complaints to audit trends; it then uses this information to drive quality.

Suppose your company has a slow turnaround time for invoice payment approval, for example, causing both internal and external complaints. In that case, your systems need to be looked at, perhaps redesigned, so customer service improves. Merely apologizing for slow times to customers or threatening staff to make them work faster can cause unanticipated and different problems. Discussing small and large issues in groups makes problems more likely to not recur. Most industries, with few exceptions, react to complaints as one-time transactions. They don’t use them as a free source of information to continually improve long-term continuous quality. If they are merely handled by CSRs, complaints will not be fully utilized. To be fully used, a company needs robust mechanisms to use these gifts to help the company improve itself.