4
Interpersonal
Facilitation Skills

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Learning Objectives

By the end of this chapter, you should be able to:

• List the type of questions that involve participants.

• Describe the active listening process.

• List the steps in giving positive and corrective feedback.

• Explain ways to manage conflicts that occur in the facilitation process.

Effective facilitators use a variety of interpersonal skills to establish rapport and develop a positive working relationship with team members. They have developed and refined their skills to the point that the skills have become habits. The top facilitators often seem to use their skills almost unconsciously throughout the facilitation process. They move team members toward the defined objectives with what appears to be very little effort.

Effective facilitators, like Olympic athletes, spend many hours practicing and honing their skills so they can deliver faultless facilitation. They understand that excellence requires practice and dedication. They learn by their mistakes and profit from their successes. Each new assignment is seen as both a challenge and an opportunity to continue to improve their facilitation skills. This chapter provides specific techniques for developing critical interpersonal facilitation skills.

ASKING QUESTIONS

Successful facilitators understand that their success is often in inverse proportion to the amount of time they spend talking. The less they talk, the more effective they are; the more they talk, the less effective they are. Top flight facilitators find out what the people on the team think; they don’t tell them what to think. They ask team members what they think by using appropriate questions, and then they listen to what participants say.

The best facilitators spend time before the meeting developing a list of questions they want to ask. They may not use all of the questions, but the time they spend preparing helps them ensure their questions will keep the meeting moving in the right direction. They also think of the answers participants might give to their questions. This accomplishes two things. First, it helps them evaluate whether or not the question is clearly stated. If they have trouble answering their own questions, it probably means the participants will also have trouble. Secondly, they then think of a follow-up question to keep the discussion going after they get an initial response. For example:

Facilitator:	How often do you think we should do that report?
Participant:	Once a week.
Facilitator:	Why once a week rather than some other time frame?
Participant:	If we did it more often, say twice a week, it would just create more paperwork. Besides we won’t have time to act on the information if we get it that often. On the other hand, if the report came out once every two weeks or once a month, the information would not be as up-to-date.

The facilitator, in the above example, is not trying to manipulate the participant’s answer. The follow-up question was designed to clarify the participant’s original response—not to put the participant on the spot or suggest that there’s a better answer. Effective facilitators use questions to encourage participants to think and to ensure that they have considered as many options as practical for a given situation. Preparation helps the facilitator use questions that will keep the team moving toward its objective.

Effective facilitators also have to be able to think on their feet and ask appropriate questions even when they cannot be prepared ahead of time. Preparing every question ahead of time would be like a doctor writing out all her prescriptions for the day before ever seeing a patient! The best facilitators have mastered the skill of using four types of questions:

• Open

• Direct

• Reverse

• Referral

Open Questions

The best way to encourage participants to get involved is to ask questions that cannot be answered with a yes, no, or brief factual response. Brief responses are usually not very helpful in moving the facilitation process forward. Effective facilitators use open questions that start with words and phrases such as what, why, how, and tell me about… or what if? The objective is to get participants to open up and contribute to the discussion. Open questions are also intended to be thought provoking so participants will give serious consideration to the topic being discussed.

Open questions can be used to start a discussion:

Facilitator:

What’s our number one objective?

They can also be used to follow up on something someone has said:

Participant:	I think we should do a long term study.
Facilitator:	What would be the objective of the study?

The proper use of open questions allows facilitators to get the input of team members and encourages them to make even more of a contribution. Open questions often are not directed to a specific person but to the whole group, encouraging anyone to respond. The facilitator’s objective is to get team involvement and not to be concerned with who is participating.

Effective facilitators frequently use open questions more than any other type because they encourage participants to talk. They take the focus off the facilitator and place it on the participants and what they think. The facilitator’s goal is to have the participants do most of the talking. Remember, the more the participants talk, the more effective the facilitator. If the facilitator is doing most of the talking, the session is likely to be less productive. The best way to help others is to get them to solve their own problems. The best way to do that is to get them talking. Some examples of open questions are found in Exhibit 4-1.

Direct Questions

Direct questions are asked of (directed to) a specific person. Often they are simply open questions with a name attached: What do you think we should do, Dan? Notice that the name of the person is placed after the question itself. This is done on purpose. Effective facilitators know if they use the person’s name first, the rest of the participants may relax and even temporarily tune out of the discussion because they know the question is not directed to them. Putting the person’s name last also allows facilitators to turn an open question into a direct question. For example, an open question is asked, but no one responds. The best facilitators wait a few seconds and look at the participants to see who might have a response. The facilitator simply says the person’s name and the open question has become a direct question.

Effective facilitators use this technique only when they are sure the person has something to contribute. They do not call on a person to embarrass them or to put them on the spot. Doing that can discourage participation. Facilitators use direct questions as another way to encourage participation, not discourage it..

Reverse Questions

Reverse questions are just what the term implies—they are questions that are reversed back to the person that asks them. Often in the process of helping an individual or a team, the facilitator is asked a question. Inexperienced facilitators may be flattered that they have been asked for their opinion; it can be tempting to become the expert and answer the question.

Participant One:	What do you think we should do?
Facilitator:	I would start by talking to the Marketing Department.

Remember, the goal is for the individual or team to solve the problem. They have to come up with the ideas—not the facilitator. Answering participant questions can shift the focus away from the team and on to the facilitator. Effective facilitators are always on the lookout for questions that they can simply reverse back to the participants. Here’s an example of how this might work in the course of a discussion.

Facilitator:	What could we do to make sure the project succeeds?
Participant One:	We should get management’s buy-in before we start.
Participant Two:	Yeah, that would really help.
Participant Three:	I agree, but they won’t go for it if we don’t sell them on the idea. That’s been a big problem in the past. What would you (Facilitator) recommend we do to get their buy-in?
Facilitator:	You know the management team better than I do. What do you (Participant Three) think we should do?

In this example, the facilitator gave the participant a reason for reversing the question. Effective facilitators know that it is important to let participants know why they are reversing the question back to them so it does not appear that they (facilitators) are simply ducking the question. Facilitators might also use phrases such as the ones below before reversing a question:

• What I think isn’t really important. What do you think?

• I have an idea about that, but I would like to hear yours first. What do you think?

• That’s a good question. What do you think?

The purpose of reverse questions is to keep the focus on the participants and the situation at hand and off of the facilitator. Some facilitators prefer to explain at the beginning of a work session that they won’t answer questions and state the reasons why. This approach can help set the tone for the meeting and help establish the ground rules (see Step 1 of the facilitation model) for the facilitator as well as the individual or team.

Referral Questions

Referral questions are similar to reverse questions except that instead of reversing the question back to the person who asked it, the question is referred to another person in the group. As before, the purpose is to keep the focus off the facilitator and involve the individual or team who has the problem. For example:

Bob (to the Facilitator):	I think we can get this done in thirty days, don’t you?
Facilitator:	How does thirty days sound to you, Mary?
Mary:	That seems reasonable to me based on what we discussed earlier.

Mary’s response gives Bob some feedback on his suggestion and the facilitator has directed the question back to the group.

Top facilitators frequently use referral questions when they want to get input from other participants. The referral question can be either open (anyone can answer) or direct (addressed to a specific person). The difference is that the referral follows a question that is initiated by a participant.

Using Questions Effectively

Effective facilitators know the importance of preparing questions in advance. They also have learned from experience to keep the focus on the people they are helping and not to let themselves be put on the spot. They have also mastered the ability to think on their feet and ask the appropriate questions at the appropriate time. Here’s an example of how a facilitator might use all four types of questions:

Facilitator:	What’s the best way to accomplish our objective? (Open Question)
Donna:	We should start with a written plan that includes a definite timetable.
Facilitator:	What do you think about that, Bill? (Direct and Referral Questions)
Bill:	I agree with that as long as everyone has input into the deadlines.
Mary (to the Facilitator):	Nobody ever reads the plans we do now. I think it’s a waste of time. Don’t you?
Facilitator:	Why do you say they are a waste of time, Mary? (Reverse Question)

Being able to ask effective questions is a critical facilitation skill. It is also the starting point for a successful facilitation process. The best facilitators can use all types of questions—open, direct, reverse, and referral—with equal skill and ask them at the appropriate times.

ACTIVE LISTENING

Effective facilitators know that asking questions is only part of the task. Listening is equally important. In fact, the two skills are complementary; for example, in order to ask good follow-up questions, facilitators have to listen to the response to the initial question. The best facilitators listen well and participants know that their message is getting through.

Active listening lets participants know that the facilitator is hearing what they are saying. The best way for facilitators to convey they are listening is to restate what participants have said, either in their own words or by paraphrasing. Another important ingredient of active listening is the use of body language. Eye contact, facial expressions, and posture all give off clues as to a facilitator’s listening skills.

The Listening Process

Being a good listener requires discipline. The best listeners have a set pattern that they follow whenever they want to really hear the other person’s message. The pattern is as follows:

1. Eliminate distractions.

2. Use body language appropriately.

3. Restate or paraphrase.

4. Confirm understanding.

Eliminate Distractions

Both physical and mental distractions have to be eliminated. Facilitators who want to actively listen try to get everything out of their hands—paper, notes, markers, and soon—so they are not tempted to “play” with them while listening. Sometimes that is not possible. For example, facilitators who act as the recorders for a session need to have a marker in hand to write down comments. Having a designated recorder to assist the facilitator makes it easier for the facilitator to listen. Mental distractions also have to be eliminated. Facilitators have to put other problems and issues out of their minds and put their primary focus on the task at hand.

Use Body Language

Body language is the nonverbal communication that sometimes speaks louder than the words people use. Several body language factors affect listening skills. The use or non-use of these factors affects the participants’ perception of whether or not the facilitator is listening.

Eye contact is probably the most important body language factor. Making eye contact with the person who is speaking conveys that the person is important. Looking away from someone who is speaking communicates that they are not listening. Facial expressions are also important. Smiles, frowns, and even a straight face all convey different messages back to the person speaking from the person who is supposed to be listening.

Movement of the head lets participants know the facilitator is listening and how the facilitator is responding. Nodding the head can be a sign of agreeing with what is being said. It can also be a sign that the facilitator is encouraging the participant to keep talking. Shaking the head back and forth, even slightly, can convey a sense of disagreement.

Posture also communicates back to the listener. Standing up straight communicates interest, while slouching can indicate boredom. Folded arms can indicate being closed to what the speaker is saying, while unfolded arms can indicate being open to the speaker.

All of these body language factors give off signals to participants about how effectively facilitators are listening. Successful facilitators have learned to use body language in a positive manner.

Restate or Paraphrase

Effective facilitators often restate and paraphrase what a person says to communicate that they get the message. Restating is simply using the participant’s exact words (when possible) to let him or her know the facilitator heard what they said. Restating also reinforces participation. For example:

Participant:	Let’s get the Marketing Department involved so we can take advantage of their expertise.
Facilitator:	So you think we should get Marketing involved in this project so we can take advantage of their expertise—is that right?

Paraphrasing repeats the main idea of what the person was saying without using the exact words. Effective facilitators use paraphrasing when the participant says something that the facilitator thinks can be shortened. Facilitators also use paraphrasing when they simply cannot remember the exact words, but do remember the main idea. For example:

Participant:	Let’s go with the design that has brown and red for the inside and white on the outside. This will give us a clear and distinctive look that will attract attention because it’s different from anything we’ve ever done before. It will also set us apart from our competitors.
Facilitator:	So you think the best design is the one with white on the outside and with the red and brown on the inside. Is that correct?

Confirm Understanding

In both examples above the facilitator asked for confirmation that the message received was the same one sent by the participant. Remember, the purpose of restating and paraphrasing is to let participants know that what they said was heard correctly. Effective facilitators ask for confirmation to let each participant know that his or her message is important and that they want to get it right.

Developing listening skills is an ongoing process. The behaviors described here, when practiced, can help anyone improve his or her listening skills and become a more effective facilitator.

xhibit 4-2 Giving Feedback

Effective facilitators know that when they give either positive or corrective feedback to a participant they need to focus on the behavior and not on the person. The key points of providing both types of feedback are listed below:

Positive Feedback

• Be specific.

• Do it immediately.

• Be sure it is earned.

• Make it individualized.

Corrective Feedback

• Focus on behavior.

• Explain the effect.

• Describe expectations.

• Explain the results.

PROVIDING FEEDBACK

Effective facilitators are experts at providing on-the-spot feedback to participants during facilitation sessions. Feedback can be crucial to keeping a discussion moving or cutting it off. The best facilitators know when to use positive feedback to recognize and reinforce participants’ involvement. They also know when to use corrective feedback to eliminate unacceptable involvement. The key to providing both positive and corrective feedback is to keep the focus on the behavior and off the participant (see Exhibit 4-2).

Positive Feedback

Positive feedback encourages team members to continue to participate and communicates that the facilitator thinks their contributions are of value. Facilitators have to be aware of how to use both verbal and nonverbal positive feedback.

Verbal Positive Feedback

Verbal positive feedback consists of four elements. It is:

• Specific

• Immediate

• Earned

• Individualized

Specific feedback lets the person know exactly what is was the facilitator liked. (“Janet, that was a good idea you had about how to start meetings on time.”) The more specific the facilitator can be the better. Although comments such as “good job” and “well done” are appropriate, they can be vague unless the participant knows exactly what the facilitator is talking about. The more specific, the better.

Immediate feedback is much more powerful than delayed feedback. Effective facilitators try to give positive feedback when the behavior occurs. That means giving positive feedback right there during the session (“That’s a good idea, Jim. Let’s see how we can build on that.”), rather than later or during a break or at the end of the day.

Sometimes in the midst of an active facilitation session many participants will make useful contributions. It might be impractical, and actually slow down the session, for the facilitator to provide positive feedback for every comment. In these situations, facilitators are wise to give some positive feedback to the entire group at some point during the session. For example, “We’ve really had a great session this morning and generated what appear to be a lot of useful ideas. I really appreciate all of your contributions; they helped make our time together worthwhile.”

Earned feedback is critical. Poor facilitators give positive feedback when it is not deserved just because they think it is important to do so. Most participants know whether or not the feedback is appropriate. False praise can have a negative impact on the team as a whole. It can also have a negative impact on the participant who knows that he or she did not deserve the positive feedback. Giving positive feedback when it is not deserved can also produce resentment among participants who think the facilitator cannot tell the difference between good and poor contributions.

Individualized feedback is important. When providing feedback, effective facilitators use the person’s name as often as possible. They know that this makes the person feel important. They also personalize the feedback by pointing out the specific reason for the feedback. They avoid saying the same thing to every participant. Saying “Good idea, Jim. Yours was, too, Mary” is a step in the right direction. Even better are statements such as, “Jim, that was a good idea on how to get management involved” and “Mary, I really appreciate the way you helped me clarify the point about the need for marketing input.” Both statements are addressed to individual participants about individual contributions.

Nonverbal Positive Feedback

The body language factors mentioned earlier come into play when providing positive feedback. Small gestures such as a smile or a nod of the head can let participants know the facilitator appreciates their input. Effective facilitators make frequent eye contact to let participants know that their comments and suggestions are welcome at any time. Combining verbal and nonverbal methods of positive feedback helps facilitators encourage and reward involvement and participation by team members. The best facilitators understand that the more involved participants are, the more valuable the end results are likely to be.

Corrective Feedback

Facilitators sometimes have to use corrective feedback to eliminate unacceptable behavior. Providing corrective feedback can be tricky during a facilitation session. If not handled properly, it is possible that a confrontation could develop between the participant and the facilitator. If the confrontation takes place in front of rest of the team, participants could take sides in the conflict. For these reasons, often it is best to give corrective feedback during a break and in private. This approach allows the facilitator to address the issue directly with the participant and avoids the potential for creating a negative atmosphere in the facilitation session.

Effective facilitators communicate four things when giving corrective feedback—behavior, effect, expectation, and result:

• The participant’s behavior should be the focus of the corrective feedback, not the person or his or her personality. What did the participant say or do that was inappropriate for the situation?

• Communicating the effect of the behavior lets the participant know how it negatively impacts the rest of the team or the situation. The facilitator’s focus is on why the behavior is unacceptable in the facilitation session.

• Effective facilitators also communicate expectations so participants know what the facilitators expect and want. If participants know what facilitators want, there is a better chance the participants will meet those expectations.

• The best facilitators tell participants what the results will be if their negative behavior continues. When possible, they try to state the results in a positive manner. However, in some situations that might not be possible and facilitators have to let participants know the consequences of their actions—removal from the team.

Here’s an example of well-delivered corrective feedback: “Bill, when you talk to those around you while the rest of the team is discussing an issue (behavior) it is distracting to the rest of the team (effect). I think it is important that everyone give their attention to the issue being discussed (expectation) so that we can be as productive as possible (result).”

Keep in mind that the goal of giving corrective feedback is to eliminate the behavior and get the person involved in a positive manner. If the disruptive behavior continues, it might be necessary to ask to have the person removed from the team.

MANAGING CONFLICT

Conflict can arise whenever there are differing opinions or approaches to a given situation. Because one of the primary uses of facilitation is to solve problems, it is likely that some type of conflict will occur. Conflicts might occur regarding the source of the problem, the best solutions to a problem, or who will be responsible for taking action—just to name a few. Conflicts that are not resolved can bog down the whole facilitation process. Effective facilitators have learned to manage conflicts that arise so that the facilitation process will be successful.

Conflicts can occur between the facilitator and the participants or among the participants themselves. The severity of a conflict will determine if the facilitator will attempt to resolve it during the facilitation session or at a different time. Normally it is best to resolve the conflict when it occurs so that everyone knows what has been decided and what results are expected. However, if the conflict is hampering the team’s ability to function, the facilitator’s best course of action is to attempt to resolve the conflict outside the facilitation session.

Exhibit 4-3 provides a four-step conflict-resolution process that can be used regardless of the nature of the conflict or where the conflict is resolved. This four-step process involves (1) acknowledging the conflict, (2) discussing the conflict, (3) agreeing on a solution, and (4) monitoring results. One way a facilitator might use this four-step process during a facilitation session is shown in the following situation.

Facilitator:	We’ve agreed that we need to test the new product. What’s the best way to go about conducting the test?
Mike:	I think we should set up a special task force to handle it.
Susan:	Mike’s right. Besides I don’t have time to work on it myself.
Bob:	Count me in for having a special task force.
John:	Just a minute. I think a special task force is unrealistic.

Facilitator:	Why do you say that, John?
John:	If the test succeeds it won’t be a true test because we don’t normally use the task force approach. It will skew the results.
Susan:	I can assure you, John, that it definitely won’t succeed if I have to be part of it. I don’t have the time.
Mike:	Let’s face it, John. What’s important is that we test the product, not how we test it.
Facilitator:	It seems we have a significant difference of opinion (Step 1: Acknowledge the Conflict). Let’s try to resolve it now because it could affect other decisions we make later. Let’s get everyone’s ideas and viewpoints out in the open (Step 2: Discuss the Conflict).

Effective facilitators lay down some ground rules when discussing a conflict. These rules help keep everyone focused on the issue and promote a civil discussion.

• Give equal time to all points of view. Effective facilitators ensure each viewpoint is given a chance to be aired. They know that the more informed participants are, the more likely they are to resolve the conflict.

• Focus on the conflict, not the person. Personal criticism is not permitted. The goal is to resolve the conflict, not change the person.

• Give everyone a chance to speak. Conflicts may seem larger than they really are if only the most vocal participants are involved. Effective facilitators make sure all participants have a chance to express their opinions.

• Agree to disagree. Effective facilitators realize that not everyone will be happy. Their goal is to get everyone to agree to support the team’s decision.

Here’s an example of a successful conflict discussion:

John:	Everyone says they are too busy, but I know that’s not true.
Susan:	Just what do you mean by that?
Mike:	Yeah, John. What do you mean? I don’t think you have any idea of how much work I have to do.
Facilitator:	We need to focus on the problem and not get personal. Let’s clear the air, though. Please elaborate on your comment, John.
John:	What I was trying to say is that we all think we are too busy. But, the reality is that we always have time to do something over if it’s not right the first time. That’s my concern. If we don’t do the test right the first time, we’ll have to do it again and that will take even more time.
Susan:	You’re right about that.
Mike:	So true. So true.
Facilitator:	Let’s move forward. What do you suggest, John?
John:	If we list the pros and cons of each choice that could help us reach a decision.
Facilitator:	Is that agreeable to everyone else?
Other Team Members:	Sure. Why not? Let’s do it.

The discussion of the conflict could take several minutes as the team members come up with a list of pros and cons. Once the pros and cons are identified, or as they are being identified, team members may begin to see some possible solutions to the conflict. The facilitator could continue the discussion until there was some movement toward reaching an agreement. For example:

Facilitator:	We’ve had a pretty lengthy discussion and looked at lots of pros and cons. Let’s see if we can reach some agreement. Who thinks we should go with the task force concept?
Mike:	I’m more convinced than ever that a task force is the best approach.
Susan:	Nothing I’ve heard changes my opinion either.
Bob:	I’m still in favor of the task force approach.
John:	I’m starting to warm up to the task force idea. Now that we’ve listed the pros and cons, I see that it’s at least worth trying. I’m still concerned that it’s different from what we normally do, but I’m willing to give it a try.
Facilitator:	So are you in agreement with using a task force to test the new product, John?
John:	Yes.
Facilitator:	It sounds as if we are all in agreement (Step 3: Agree on a Solution). What can we do to evaluate the success of the task force approach (Step 4: Monitor Results)?
Susan:	Maybe one of us could be a member of the task force.
Mike:	I nominate John. That way he could experience the task force approach first hand and monitor the results at the same time.
Facilitator:	What do you think of that idea, John?
John:	Mike has a point. It wasn’t exactly what I had in mind, but I’m sure willing to consider it.
Facilitator:	Just consider or will you do it?
John:	I’ll give it my best shot.

Even though things may not always go as smoothly as in the example, using the four-step process described here can help resolve conflicts that arise during facilitation sessions. Effective facilitators understand that conflict is inevitable and they are not reluctant to acknowledge that it occurs (Step 1). They do not try to ignore it and hope that it will go away. They know that getting the conflict out into the open and discussing it (Step 2) is the best way to give all participants a chance to express their viewpoint. Once all the alternatives have been discussed, it is possible to agree on a solution (Step 3) that is acceptable to the participants. They also know that it is important to monitor the results (Step 4) to see if the solution worked.

Effective facilitators know that it is their responsibility to get participants involved during facilitation sessions. They use several different types of questions to draw participants into the discussion. They normally start with open questions which cannot be answered with a yes, no, or a brief factual response. Open questions may be used to start a discussion or to follow up on something someone has said. They also use direct questions when they want to involve a specific person. Effective facilitators also use reverse and referral questions in order to keep the focus of the discussion on the team.

Once facilitators ask their questions, they have to shift to a listening mode. The best facilitators tend to be the best listeners. They discipline themselves when listening by eliminating distractions, using body language appropriately, restating or paraphrasing participant comments, and confirming that they understood what the participant was saying. Effective facilitators know that developing listening skills is an ongoing process; thus they continually work to become better listeners.

Facilitators also have to be able to provide feedback to participants to keep the facilitation process moving in the right direction. They use positive feedback to recognize and reinforce participant involvement; they use corrective feedback to eliminate unacceptable involvement. Whether they are providing positive or corrective feedback, the best facilitators know they have to focus on the participants’ behavior and not on the participants themselves.

Conflict can occur during facilitation sessions due to differences of opinion and different ways of looking at issues. Effective facilitators understand that conflict is normal and cannot be eliminated completely. Rather than ignore conflict and hope it goes away, they realize it is their responsibility to manage conflict so the facilitation session can achieve the desired objectives. When conflict does occur, they use a four step process to resolve it: (1) acknowledge the conflict, (2) discuss the conflict, (3) agree on a solution, and (4) monitor results.

Review Questions

1. If a facilitator thinks that a certain participant might have an idea to contribute, the facilitator should ask a(n)_________question.	1. (b)
(a) open
(b) direct
(c) reverse
(d) referral
2. Positive feedback to participants will be most effective if it is:	2. (a)
(a) specific and immediate.
(b) specific and delayed.
(c) general and timely.
(d) given equally to all participants.
3. This body language factor has the most impact on participant 3. (c) perceptions of how well facilitators are listening.
(a) Movement
(b) Posture
(c) Eye contact
(d) Facial expressions
4. What is the last step in the listening process? 4. (a)
(a) Confirm understanding
(b) Paraphrase the speaker’s message
(c) Eliminate distractions
(d) Make eye contact with the speaker
5. When conflict occurs during a facilitation session, the best thing a 5. (d) facilitator can do is:
(a) ignore the conflict and hope it resolves itself.
(b) refer the conflict to a resolution committee.
(c) recommend a solution based on his or her experience.
(d) attempt to resolve the conflict when it arises.