10
In This Chapter
If you have an opportunity to make a transfer within your company or if you are in the process of looking for a new job, this chapter can offer a few guidelines for seeking a good fit between you and your new supervisor.
Why Fantasize about an Ideal Boss?
“Why think about an ideal boss if I’m stuck with the one I have?” At several points in this book parallels have been drawn between workplace issues for adults with ADD and school issues for children with ADD. Here is another important parallel: Just as children often have little or no choice of teacher, so too do adults have little latitude in choosing a supervisor. Nevertheless, it is an important issue to consider for several reasons.
First, you won’t always be working under your current supervisor. You may transfer or leave your job, and your supervisor may do likewise. Second, believe it or not, some supervisors are motivated to become better supervisors ! Your current supervisor has probably had no training in how best to work with an adult with ADD. Owing to lack of information, he or she may have developed approaches that are uncomfortable or ineffective for you. If you have a reasonably positive relationship with your supervisor, you may be able to communicate some of the information contained in this chapter to him or her and develop a dialogue that leads to a more productive relationship.
Third, when you do have a choice—that is, when you are job hunting, either within your current organization or somewhere else—you will know which qualities to look for.
Who is the Ideal Supervisor for an Adult with ADD?
A better question to ask is “What’s my ideal supervisor like?” Not all people with ADD are alike. Some need a high degree of structure and predictability in a supervisor; others flourish under a more laissez-faire attitude. Some people with ADD are hypersensitive to stress and need a calm, predictable work environment; others crave stimulation and variety and would find such an environment boring. Nevertheless, there are certain characteristics to be found among great bosses and others that define “bosses from hell.”
ADD Tales from the Workplace
A Boss from Hell
John was a bright computer whiz who was highly regarded in a rapidly growing high-tech company. Because of his expertise in software development and his engaging manner, he was targeted for a promotion that involved public relations and new product development.
John’s problems began shortly after starting work in his new position. Unfortunately, his new boss was somewhat insecure and had relatively little supervisory experience. He misinterpreted John’s easygoing style as laziness, his ADD forgetfulness as irresponsibility, his need to shift from one task to another in order to maintain interest and motivation as disorganization, and his ideas and suggestions for change as a direct challenge to his authority as a supervisor.
John’s performance deteriorated under the tension, lack of support, and frequent criticisms from his boss. The more depressed and discouraged he became, the less he was able to function. His boss’s style was to focus on his supervisees’ inadequacies and to rarely, if ever, emphasize things that were going well.
As his morale sank to dangerous levels, John sought ADD-oriented career counseling. He requested that his psychologist write a letter clearly outlining the types of assistance and accommodations he needed at work.
Unfortunately, this supervisor didn’t “believe” in ADD and felt angry that he was required under the Americans with Disabilities Act to provide accommodations. His approach was to adhere to the letter but not the spirit of the recommendations.
John wasn’t fired, but his supervisor clearly intended to make him want to resign. After several months of unbearable tension between them, John realized that it was futile to continue to attempt to gain his boss’s support and confidence.
What were the characteristics of this supervisor that made him an “ADD boss from hell”? John’s supervisor:
Was nonsupportive
Was inflexible
Overfocused on details
Misinterpreted ADD symptoms
Didn’t recognize the strengths his supervisee brought to the job
Had a strong need for control
Felt threatened by his supervisee’s questions and requests
Resented being asked to make accommodations for ADD symptoms
Emphasized negative traits
Fear of enduring an experience like John’s is what makes many adults with ADD reluctant to disclose their disorder. Such reactions are not universal, though. Furthermore, there are many things you can do without formally disclosing your ADD diagnosis to improve your work environment. Now let’s take a look at a supervisory relationship that worked beautifully.
An Ideal ADD Supervisor
Ann was a middle-aged woman who returned to fulltime work after raising her children. Although she was a college graduate, she had always had difficulty in school, without knowing why, and had found school very stressful. Only years later, after the evaluation of a son who was diagnosed with ADD and learning problems, did Ann come to understand that she had struggled with ADD without benefit of diagnosis or treatment.
Ann decided to seek testing and treatment to smooth her reentry into the workplace environment.
Ann was hired as an administrative assistant to one of the deans at a local university. She was selected because of her obvious intelligence, excellent verbal skills, and warm, caring manner. The dean, who was looking for someone who would serve as a ‘‘welcoming committee” for the many people who sought contact with her in person and on the phone, immediately recognized Ann’s people skills.
Although Ann loved her job, her ADD began to create problems from the start. She never developed an effective filing system and soon was forced to waste long periods of time searching for memos and letters. Ann made typos and careless spelling errors (only some of which were caught by the computer’s “spell checker’’). She had little computer training and found the computer to be rather intimidating.
Any of these problems could have led to disaster, but no disaster occurred. Why? Because Ann had the good fortune to have an enlightened boss. The dean, as chance would have it, was familiar with the issues relating to ADD. She was also impressed with Ann’s maturity, people skills, and forthright approach to stating her problems and seeking solutions.
Ann worked with another dean’s assistant, to learn how to develop a better filing system. Ann attended classes to master the computer program she used on a daily basis. A student came in for several hours a week to assist Ann with typing and filing, thus allowing Ann to focus more comfortably on her people-related tasks.
The dean had found in Ann someone who could present a warm, professional, engaging face to the world, and helped her find the accommodations and supports she needed in order to concentrate on her strengths.
What were the characteristics of this boss that made her an ideal match for an ADD adult? The dean:
Was supportive Was flexible
Focused on her employee’s strengths
Understood the basis of ADD symptoms
Was confident enough in her own position to work comfortably with an employee to find solutions
Respected her employee
Was creative in finding solutions to problems
Emphasized positive traits
“Okay,” you might say, “but how many bosses are like Ann’s?” Good question! Not most, unfortunately. However, thinking about Ann’s boss can give you guidelines for some of the characteristics you’d like to find in a supervisor. You might not find someone with all the characteristics of Ann’s boss, but you may have the good fortune to find someone who is flexible and motivated to learn how to best work with you.
Working with the Boss You Have
Don’t expect your boss to figure you out. It’s up to you to teach your boss how to best work with you. In other words, you have to know what you need and how you work best. When you are looking for a new job, your focus should be on finding a supervisor who you think will be a good match. If you already have a job, you need to help your supervisor understand you and your needs, and you need to teach him or her how to help you work most effectively.
Working Effectively with Your Boss
There are many positive, constructive ways to talk about your ADD symptoms and to work constructively with your boss to seek solutions. Here are some guidelines:
Respect your boss’s time and efforts. He or she has many responsibilities; supervising you is only one of them. Don’t demand too much of your boss’s time and energy. Regular, scheduled, focused, and brief supervisory sessions often are most effective.
Don’t let problems become enormous before you talk about them.
If you mention your difficulties early—and in a positive, constructive fashion—they are less likely to become big problems.
Don’t just talk about these difficulties: Introduce possible solutions at the same time. Don’t throw the problem into your boss’s lap and expect him or her to solve it. You need to become informed enough about your ADD to propose reasonable solutions
Unless you need an expensive or unusual accommodation, you may even decide it is best not to disclose an ADD diagnosis but to simply discuss problems and solutions in the context of the situation.
Searching for a More ADD-Friendly Boss
“How do I know what a new supervisor is really like until I work for him or her?” Job hunting is a two-way street. When you are interviewing for a new position, your prospective employer will do his or her best to find out about you—by reading your resume, talking with you, observing you, and speaking to your references. Employers do everything they can to make an accurate prediction about the type of employee an interviewee will become.
You need to engage in the same process. Don’t just worry about whether they will like you. You also need to think about whether you will like them. You should do just as much research as your prospective employer in order to determine whether the job and the supervisor will be a good fit for you.
It’s important for you to know what you’re looking for and to feel comfortable asking questions about management style, the general atmosphere at work, turnover rate in the department, and the organizational structure of the company. If possible, find out whether the company is in the process of change; if there has been a merger or if one is anticipated in the near future, a change in structure and hierarchy is inevitable.
Use as many sources as you can to learn about your prospective employer. Look for friends or acquaintances who work for the firm or who know someone who does. Do some research in the library if you are considering a nationwide firm.
The Characteristics of Your Own Ideal Boss
When you are seeking the right boss, you should consider not only your ADD characteristics but also your personality in more general terms. Don’t get so overfocused on your ADD symptoms that you overlook your personality, your interests, and your values. It is sometimes helpful to think about the Myers-Briggs personality types (see Chapter 6) when you try to imagine the type of person who would make an ideal boss for you. Entire books have been written about the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). It would be impossible within the confines of this chapter to offer a complete discussion of the MBTI (however, the discussion in Chapter 6 is a more complete one, and you may want to refer to it before continuing). Here, in the context of considering your ideal boss, we will limit our discussion to a narrow range of personality characteristics.
One of the most critical questions to ask yourself about any important relationship in your life—whether with a significant other or a supervisor—is this: Do you work best with someone who thinks like you or with someone whose strengths are complementary to yours? There are advantages and disadvantages to either choice.
Creativity Versus Practicality
If you are inventive and creative and are always looking for new ways to do things, you may want to look for a supervisor with similar tendencies. In MBTI terms, this means that you are an intuitive (N) personality type and that you are seeking a supervisor who is an N also.
Many writers, intellectuals, scientists, professors, and other types of “idea people” are N’s. Those people, with or without ADD, who are more oriented toward the world of the actual than the possible are sensing (S’s) rather than intuitive (N’s) individuals. The majority of people in the world are S’s. S’s are more focused on things that can be felt, touched, and worked with on a practical level. Whether doctors, nurses, engineers, mechanics, or teachers, they are focused on doing their job and improving their skills within the realm of what is already known. S’s rarely stop to think about better ways of doing things; instead, they think in terms of maintaining current procedures in good working order.
If you are an N who is always trying to think of a better way to do things and you are supervised by an S who wants you to just buckle down and do your job, you may experience enormous frustration and tension in the workplace.
An S-N Workplace Vignette
Marcus was a very creative ADD adult, a strong N on the MBTI. He was hired as a computer specialist in a large, conservative financial organization. The entire organization had a strong S orientation, concerned with preserving the status quo and doing things in a prescribed fashion.
As a result of this enormous difference in orientation, Marcus experienced tremendous frustration each day. Marcus tried, in vain, to explain that things could be done more easily. His suggestions were unwelcome. “Just do your job!” was the attitude of his boss. Meanwhile, Marcus’s ADD tendencies made the constant flow of detailed, repetitive paperwork barely supportable. His performance ratings went from mediocre to poor.
Finally, through counseling Marcus came to terms with his boss’s personality type. He developed a more patient attitude—while he actively looked for another position to which he would be better suited. After several months of discrete exploration, he found a person—another N like himself—who had been placed in charge of developing new computer applications for the organization. A few months later, having smoothed out the tension between himself and his current boss, he received a good recommendation and was able to transfer to the more compatible job situation.
Structure Versus Flexibility
Another important parameter to consider in terms of both ADD and the MBTI is your degree of comfort with structure. Don’t confuse your difficulty in creating structure with your comfort or discomfort in having structure! In other words, you may be a person whose ADD leads to somewhat disorganized functioning but who prefers a certain degree of structure. If so, you have a judging (J) rather than a perceiving (P) personality type and might work very well under the supervision of another J who does not have ADD tendencies toward disorganization.
If you are a P with ADD—that is, an individual who finds too much structure to be chafing and limiting—you may feel controlled and micromanaged by a J boss. P’s with ADD typically describe themselves as:
Liking a great degree of freedom
Disliking having to work regular hours
Hating to work according to someone else’s notions of how things should be done
Many P’s with ADD prefer a more “laissez-faire” supervisory style, but may greatly benefit from structured assistance provided by support staff.
Harold was a scientist with ADD and strong P tendencies who had worked in the academic world for many years, where his P tendencies were comfortably tolerated. As long as he showed up to teach his classes and attend faculty meetings, no one was concerned about his work hours. Harold was a night owl by nature (a common trait among people with ADD). A dedicated and highly creative person, he often worked all night long if he became really involved in an idea he was in the process of developing.
After a number of years in academia, Harold was hired by a private consulting firm. Harold was placed under the supervision of a strong J who had come to the consulting firm from the military—by definition, a strongly J environment, that is, one that values structure, hierarchy, predictability, and punctuality.
Under his J supervisor, Harold’s productivity plummeted. Suddenly he was required to arrive at work by 8:30, even if he had been up until 2 or 3 working on a paper. His J boss was unable to understand why Harold preferred, and actually needed, to work on such a highly variable schedule.
He worked in his own style and at his own pace on evenings and weekends and spent his workday functioning as best he could under the chafing requirements of his J boss. His only hope was that his boss might move on within a year or two and then he might be left in peace by a more flexible supervisor.
Thinking Versus Feeling
The thinking-feeling parameter on the MBTI is a critical one to consider in seeking a good match between yourself and your supervisor (as well as a match between yourself and your organization). What is the thinking-feeling parameter? In a general sense, T’s are focused on detached, logical analysis in making value judgments while F’s make value judgments along more personal dimensions. One might say that T’s are more focused on non-people-related outcomes (such as research results, inventions, numbers, or income), whereas F’s are only satisfied when the outcome of their efforts involves and benefits people directly. An F who works under a T might think that the T just doesn’t care about people; the T, on the other hand, may think of the F as a “bleeding heart” or as someone quite impractical.
A T-F Workplace Vignette
An F worked under the supervision of a strong T in a social service organization. As is true for many social service organizations, this one was underfunded and understaffed. One day a dictate came down from a state-level administrator that a new software system was to be put into place, requiring that an enormous amount of data be reentered.
The T supervisor, a practical and nonsentimental sort, announced that, owing to the press of work demands, the traditional holiday party would consist of an early breakfast rather than the usual luncheon followed by early release from work. This decision was logical in view of the enormous work demands, but it completely ignored the “F” side of the equation—staff morale.
The F employee, a person with good people skills, was able to understand her supervisor’s logic. She approached the supervisor on her own terms. She explained that although she understood the pressure the department was under to avoid turning a workday into a holiday she felt that in the long run the efficiency and productivity of staff members would decrease if they were deprived of this important time to relax, socialize, and enjoy the holiday spirit. The F point of view prevailed—because she was able to present her view in terms that could be appreciated by a T supervisor.
Whereas this T-F conflict was resolved in a positive fashion, many such conflicts are not resolved so amiably. For this reason, it is essential that you understand where you fall on the T-F dimension and think about this dimension carefully in choosing both an organization and a supervisor.
Conclusion
As I have tried to demonstrate by using concepts from the MBTI, not every adult with ADD needs the same thing from a boss. There are some common ingredients, however. In general, you should look for someone who is tolerant of your weaknesses and appreciates your strengths, someone whose motives you trust, whom you feel comfortable communicating with, who can engage with you in creative problem-solving, and whose company you enjoy.
“But that’s not who I work for!” you point out. First and foremost, you need to be realistic. Before you decide that you are in an intolerable situation, take a look at what you can change. You may be surprised by the changes you can bring about in your supervisor by changing your own attitude and approach. Stand back and consider (perhaps with the assistance of a counselor) how you can improve your relationship with your boss. Are there things you could do diiferently to improve your relationship with him or her (such as getting to work on time and arguing less frequently)? Have you presented your needs in a positive, problem-solving manner and indicated how motivated you are to improve your work performance? Are you positively motivated?
If after all your efforts, your relationship with your boss remains unsatisfactory, at least you’ll have a better idea of what to look for in your next job.