Thanks to my social media feed, I recently came across the following humorous reviews for instructors on “Rate My Professor”:

“Bring a pillow to the class, so when you lose consciousness, your head won't slam on your desk, and bring a pillow for your pillow because your pillow will fall asleep, too.”

“Boring but I learned there are 137 tiles on the ceiling.”

“I don't wear my seat belt driving to school because I want to die before I make it to this class.”

Can you relate to any of these? We've all had teachers like those, ones who drone on and on. We describe them as dull, dry, or uninteresting, but the best description is monotone. Maybe they're saying different words, but they all sound (tone) the same (mono). It doesn't matter if that sound is high or low, fast or slow, loud or quiet, it will sound monotonous if there isn't any variety.

Here's why vocal variety is crucial. In every waking moment, your brain is bombarded by a massive amount of stimulation and information, so it has to sort between the irrelevant (such as the sound of the traffic) and the vital (a car swerving in your direction). It does this by filtering out things that stay the same and focusing on things that change. We are wired to ignore the monotonous. This is why you will so quickly adapt to an obnoxious smell in your house—or a droning speech. Your brain is literally trying to save your life by pushing boring or repetitive stimulus into the background.

We are wired to ignore the monotonous.

In my experience, monotonous speaking is usually caused by (1) no longer caring about your topic and/or what your audience thinks of you, (2) a total lack of confidence, or (3) not having the necessary skills to avoid it. I know you're not in the first category because you're reading this book. I trust that the work we've already done has largely dealt with the second. So, the purpose of this chapter is to address number three.

In the previous chapter, I talked about clarity—things like enunciation and articulation. All that falls under the umbrella of diction, which is the entirety of your manner or style of speaking. Another component of diction is vocal variety, which includes elements such as:

• Intonation: the rise and fall of your voice's pitch. It can be measured by hertz. You have a natural range which can be affected by things, such as mood or stress.
• Inflection: a near synonym for intonation, but more narrowly focused on pitch changes within a word or short phrase, such as the increased pitch as the end of a sentence to signal a question.
• Volume: the loudness or amplitude of your voice. This is measured by decibels.
• Velocity: the speed at which you speak, measured by words per minute.
• Pauses: intentional breaks within your talking for the purpose of variation and emphasis, etc. (see Chapter 15).
• Emphasis: stress made on a word or phrase, usually through an increase of inflection and velocity.

Taken together, all the components of diction—how you say something—say something about you. They become part of the way you demonstrate your identity. Furthermore, there is no one right diction. Just as there are many different kinds of boats that serve various purposes, there are many different kinds of speakers and ways of speaking. My goal here is not to turn out a bunch of cookie cutter speed boats but help you be the best boat—I mean, speaker—you can be.

How you say something says something about you.

At the same time, your diction isn't just an extension of your identity; it is also part of your message. It can draw in your audience or deter them. This is why you can't just say, “This is how I talk.” You have to do the work of improving your vocal variety or else risk ending up like one of those boring teachers you dreaded.

The Vocal Variety Grid

I've developed the following “vocal variety grid” to help my clients add depth to their diction without changing who they are.

On the above grid, the X axis is your pace, which is your velocity and usage of pauses. The Y axis is your energy, which is the combination of your volume and relative intonation (pitch). The term “relative” is important because intonation has to be measured against your own range, not the range of all humans. Even when I am speaking at the upper end of my intonation, it is still lower in hertz than many women speaking at the bottom of theirs.

I'm about a 4 on energy and a 3 on pace, so my natural starting point would look like this:

Once you know your natural starting place, we can look at the four quadrants this grid creates:

• Quadrant 1: High energy and slow pace
• Quadrant 2: High energy and fast pace
• Quadrant 3: Low energy and fast pace
• Quadrant 4: Low energy and slow pace

Going back to what we said about identity, it's vital to understand that no quadrant is inherently better than another, and any of them can be monotonous. Whichever one you fall into is perfect for you—as a starting point. In fact, I want you to mentally shift the entire grid, so that the 0,0 point (where the X and Y axes meet) now sits at your starting point. The goal of this grid is to help you move through the different quadrants, relative to your own starting point.

Each quadrant is important and has a particular purpose:

1. Quadrant 1: High energy and slow pace

   Together, high and slow convey a commanding presence. The slower speed allows you to convey more details while the higher energy conveys importance. Think of a high school principal giving an important announcement that is detail‐laden. This quadrant is also good for a unifying message or issuing a critique or correction.

2. Quadrant 2: High energy and fast pace

   This is the party quadrant. It engages people and is full of excitement. Its high energy creates excitement but makes it unsuitable for conveying fine details. This is how you would announce the breaking of sales records and other good news.

3. Quadrant 3: Low energy and fast pace

   This communicates urgency under control. It's like, “Houston, we have a problem.” If that iconic statement had been conveyed high and fast, it would've invited panic. Low and fast models calm in face of an emergency. It orders people to lean in and get to work.

4. Quadrant 4: Low energy and slow pace

   This is the calming quadrant. It's what you would hear from the staff at a high‐end restaurant or hotel. Counselors use this, and teach it to their clients. Likewise, this is what a police officer will use to de‐escalate a situation or talk someone out of jumping off a bridge. It's also effective for correcting people in a nonthreatening way.

Moving Around the Grid

As I said, each of these quadrants is important and has a specific purpose. Imagine using the extremities of the quadrants in the wrong situation—like an officer using high and fast with a potential jumper. Not quite as bad is moving through the quadrants aimlessly in an ineffective attempt to “increase vocal variety.” The quadrant must match the message. A mismatched message will confuse and distract your audience while lowering your authority.

The quadrant must match the message.

You start from your personal baseline (0,0) and move from there into the various quadrants but at an appropriate intensity. By that, I mean some content may call for a slight increase in energy and pace (for instance), but others should have you practically shouting for joy. Here are some examples of possible content and quadrant matches:

• A speech's introduction: High and fast.
• Important details: High and slow.
• Quick overview of bullet points: Low and fast.
• Allowing the audience to absorb a point: Low and slow.
• Announcing new product or solution: High and slow.
• Conclusion to a motivational speech: High and slow.

The Z Factor

Perhaps you noticed that the Vocal Variety Grid covers things like volume and velocity but not emphasis and inflection. These are what I call “the Z Factor.” This punches off the grid into another dimension by adding a burst of energy to a phrase, word, or syllable. Those of you who are old enough may remember Jolt soda back in the mid‐'80s with its slogan, “All of the sugar and twice the caffeine.” That's how you can think of the Z Factor, a little extra jolt to increase energy. Again, this adds another dimension to your speaking while drawing attention to key ideas. But, just like an energy drink, you want to go easy on them. Too much will leave your listener's head buzzing.

The Z Factor adds another dimension to your speaking while drawing attention to key ideas.

Emphasis (the Z Factor) can be achieved by:

• Stretching out the vowel of the word.
• Putting the inflection on the first syllable.
• Speaking slower for the word or phrase.
• Pausing after the word or phrase.

Avoid Uptalk

Also in the movie Anchorman, the teleprompter accidentally added a question mark to the phrase, “I'm Ron Burgundy?” and Ron—who always says, on air, exactly what's on the teleprompter—adds the “down then up” inflection used to denote questions. It's a humorous moment in the movie, but it's less funny when people do it in real life. This is commonly called uptalk, defined as “a style of speech in which every sentence ends with a rising tone, as if the speaker is always asking a question.”

Everyone uses uptalk occasionally, especially when they lack confidence in their statement, but some people (about 20% of my clients) do it habitually. In my experience, it's more common among women than men but by no means exclusively so.

Uptalk is a negative type of vocal variety you need to actively avoid—especially when giving a speech. Unless you mean to ask a question, you should make a statement. When you intone a sentence to sound like a question, it communicates uncertainty and diminishes authority. Here is how I like to illustrate it to my clients: I tell them to ask me my favorite movie. They usually laugh uncertainly then ask, “Mike, what's your favorite movie?”

I respond, “The Usual Suspects,” only I drop my inflection just a touch on “sus” and bring it up on “pects.” I call this the valley inflection, down and then up. The result is that it sounds like I'm not sure if that's a good answer. It's almost like I'm seeking permission to like the most amazing movie ever.

Then I have them ask me again. This time I respond, “The Usual Suspects,” bringing my tone up a touch on “sus” and landing “pects” on a solid downward inflection. Without changing my words, I've effectively added, “And I don't care what you think.”

When you make a statement sound like a question, it communicates uncertainty and diminishes authority.

True confidence, I've been saying, is built not just on the foundation of who you are (identity) and the content of what you say (message), but also the skills you use—a deficiency here can negate any gains you make in the first two areas. This is especially true of the next skill I'm going to teach you: nonverbal communication.