Page references followed by fig indicate a figure.
- active replay tool, 12–13, 54, 63–87
- Adler, Alfred, 10–11
- adverse thinking patterns, 20–21, 22–23, 56
- Alda, Alan, 167
- align your brain habit, 153, 156–165, 186
- Almaas, A. H., 173
- anorexic patients, 64–65
- Aragon, Oriana, 180
- ARC of coaching, 153
- Arendt, Hannah, 63, 90
- assumptions, 91–94, 91fig, 96–98
- awareness, 164–165, 169–173, 177–180
- awareness-based coaching, 60
- being present. See presence
- beliefs
- articulate new insight to become a, 139–142
- changing our bias to change, 98–100
- coaching the story to challenge, 96–100
- crazy coaching, 35–49
- doubt required to examine, 57
- reflective inquiry to examine client, 54, 56
- summarizing effects on, 65–76
- biases, 98–100, 177–180. See also judgmental reactions
- Black, Derek, 99
- blind spot (unconscious bias), 99, 177–180
- bottom lining, 74–76
- box of stories, 90fig, 91fig, 93fig, 100fig
- Boyatzis, Richard, 89
- brain
- align your, 153, 155–165, 186
- coaching versus telling the, 23–24
- how coaching can affect your, 22–23
- how coaching taps into the middle, 26–29
- as meaning-making machine, 139
- negativity bias of our, 178
- rappers fMRI experiment on executive functions of, 114
- response to fear-based learning by the, 24–26
- See also thinking
- brain hacking tool, 54, 89–109
- breakthroughs, 27, 34, 39–41, 92, 142, 143
- case studies
- articulating new insight to believe it, 141
- bottom lining, 74–76
- coaching the story to challenge beliefs and assumptions, 96–100
- coaching the story to shift perceptions, 94–95
- envisioning desired outcome, 116, 118–119
- focus to support the client, 56–60
- identifying what is getting in the way, 128–129
- inviting and reinviting technique, 132–133
- keeping outcome in mind even as it shifts, 130–131
- labeling clients’ experience, 73–74
- nonreactive empathy and emotional shift, 83
- recapping, 66–67, 69–71
- reflective inquiry-based coaching conversations, 28–29
- See also stories
- catch and release judgment habit, 177–188, 190. See also judgmental reactions
- centering your awareness, 164–165
- change, 25, 26, 93–96, 98, 123, 126–129. See also outcomes
- “checklist coaching,”
- clients
- believe in potential of your, 16, 61, 159–161
- labeling experience of the, 73–74
- making breakthroughs, 27, 92, 142
- missed opportunities, 137–138
- misunderstood emotional reactions of, 180–181
- partnering with coaches, , 10, 15, 32, 158–159
- psychological safety of, 151–153
- reflective inquiry benefits for, –5, 54, 56
- reflective statements stimulating stories of, , 21
- supporting versus challenging, 56–60
- verbal processors, 30, 52
- when to and not to coach, 29–33
- closed questions, 41–45, 78
- coaches
- acting as thinking partners, , 10, 16, 32, 158–159
- active replay process by, 12–13
- being and living as, 190–191
- competencies needed by, 15–17, 35
- coaching
- the ARC of, 153
- awareness-based versus solution-focused, 60
- “checklist,”
- the difference it makes, 193–194
- differentiating problem-solving from, 47, 52–53, 55–56
- as discomforting learning process, 13–15
- establishing bookends of, 112–113, 113fig
- high achievers often dissatisfied with, 34
- horizontal versus vertical, 124–126, 124fig, 125fig
- hybrid, 29–30
- ideal scenarios for, 33–34
- increased recognition of value of, 19–20
- partnering component of, , 10, 15, 32, 158–159
- the path of, 113fig
- to reverse adverse thinking, 20–21, 22–23, 56
- should be a process of inquiry,
- the story, 93fig–96
- telling versus, 23–24
- transactional (or surface), 52, 53–54
- transformational, 53–54
- See also reflective inquiry
- coaching beliefs, 35–49
- coaching competencies, 15–17, 35
- coaching conversations
- having a clear vision of outcome, 47–49
- hybrid coaching blending mentoring into, 29–30
- learning through reflective inquiry-based, 26–29
- outcome of, 111–112
- receiving habit for better listening during, 167–175
- removing I from your, 182
- sensory awareness during, 170–173
- three tips for keeping on track, 134–135
- transactional (or surface), 52, 53–54
- transformational, 53–54
- when to and not to engage in, 29–33
- See also coaching sessions; reflective inquiry
- coaching credentials, 17, 19, 35, 37, 41
- coaching culture, 191–193
- coaching insights
- emotional shifts accompanying, 137
- say it to believe it, 139–142
- tips for articulating commitments and, 147–148
- turning them into commitments, 142–144
- coaching mastery, 36–39, 149, 152–153, 155–165, 167–175, 177–188
- coaching models, 52–53, 55, 126–128
- coaching process steps, 30–33
- Coaching Research Laboratory (Case Western University), 47
- coaching sessions
- alterations in outcome and tracking progress, 122–129
- articulating outcome as conduit between uncertainty and, 122
- end on a high note by summarizing coaching, 144–146
- inviting and reinviting technique, 132–134
- See also coaching conversations; reflective inquiry toolbox
- coach–client relationship
- Adler’s definition of the, 11
- partnering element of the, , 10, 15, 32, 158–159
- when clients want to end the, 146–147
- cognitive awareness, 169
- commitments, 142–144, 147–148
- Communism, 177–178
- confirming questions, 12
- conflicts, 68–73
- connections
- context, 100–108, 100fig, 109
- contextual fields, 91–108, 91fig, 100fig
- cortisol, 85–86
- Csikszentmihalyi, Mihaly, 157
- decision-making
- on coaching outcomes, 53, 60, 115–120
- driving by our social needs, 102–103
- how coaching can help with, 11, 32, 33, 71, 82, 92
- reflective inquiry to help with, 21
- defensiveness reaction, 181
- developmental coaching techniques, 56
- Dewey, John, 11–12, 13, 19, 20, 21, 101
- The Discomfort Zone (Reynolds), 81
- doubt, 57, 76
- drawing distinctions, 76–77
- Duke, David, 99
- easy and quick agreements, 181
- emotional contagion, 85–86, 150–151
- emotional recognition, 185–188
- emotional shifts, 79–87, 138
- emotional triggers, 103
- emotions/feelings
- as barrier to outcome, 52
- breaking down false beliefs and sharing your, 41
- choose how you want to feel, 156–158
- don’t coach when feeling negative, 32–33
- feelings inventory, 187–188
- focusing on those you want to feel, 165
- growth through appreciation of your, 81–82
- judgmental reactions to misunderstood client, 180–181
- sensory awareness of, 170–173
- empathy
- nonreactive, 82–85, 172
- when you have too much, 85–86
- encapsulating, 73–76, 119–120
- exploratory questions, 12
- eye contact changes, 180
- Federal Trade Commission, 19
- feedback myth, 24–29, 37
- feelings inventory, 187–188
- feelings. See emotions/feelings
- “Find the Coaching in Criticism” (Heen and Stone), 25
- “5 Ways to Listen Better” (Treasure), 167
- flow of coaching, 157–158
- focus tool, 54, 55–62
- frame (identity and reality), 89–100
- Freud, Sigmund, 11
- full-body presence, 174–175
- Gazzaniga, Michael, 22, 53
- goaltending tool, 54, 111–135
- Gottschall, Jonathan, 93
- Gregersen, Hal, 22
- Hari, Johann, 160
- Harvard Business Review, 34
- Heen, Sheila, 25
- hesitation reaction, 181
- horizontal coaching, 124–125, 124fig
- How We Think (Dewey), 11
- hybrid coaching, 29
- Ibarra, Herminia, 189, 190–191
- identity
- based on our box of stories, 89–92, 90fig, 91fig
- context that defines our lives and, 100–108, 100fig
- contextual field shaping our, 91–100, 91fig
- inquiry, –4. See also reflective inquiry
- insight-based learning, 26–29
- insights. See coaching insights
- International Coach Federation (ICF), , 10, 15, 16, 35, 41
- in the zone, 157
- judgmental reactions, 35–36, 72, 87, 99, 177–183, 190. See also catch and release judgment habit
- Jung, Carl, 150
- Kahneman, Daniel, 20
- Kahn, William, 151
- labeling clients’ experience, 73–74
- Latimer, Tony, 126
- learning
- discomfort of coaching leading to, 13–15
- the feedback myth and fear-based, 24–29
- insight-based, 26–29
- problem-solving versus, 24
- reflective inquiry for opening a person to, 21–22, 40–41
- short-term memory and, 24
- uncertainty and being open to, 57, 76
- life values, 91–92, 100, 105–108, 109
- listening, 167–175
- long-term memory, 26, 27
- Maslow, Abraham, 159
- mastery. See coaching mastery
- meaning, 90–91, 93–96, 93fig, 139–142
- memory, 24, 26
- mental habits
- align your brain, 153, 155–165, 186
- being present, 155–156, 158, 174–175, 190
- catch and release judgment, 153, 177–188, 190
- receiving, 167–175, 190
- mentoring, 29, 34, 37
- metaphors, 72, 73, 78
- middle brain, 26–29
- Miller, Henry, 111
- mirroring skills, 12–13, 65
- missed opportunities, 137–138
- Murray, Paul, 60
- Murray, William H., 137
- National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders, 114
- needs
- beliefs and biases shaped by values and, 92
- contextual field made up by, 91–92, 91fig
- psychological safety, 151–153
- social needs, 101–104
- negativity bias, 178
- nervous laughter, 180
- neurolinguistic programming, 20
- new and next tool, 54, 137–148
- nonreactive empathy, 82–85, 172
- open questions, 41–45
- operational coaching techniques, 56
- outcome
- bottom lining the desired, 74–76
- coaching conversation, 111–112
- differentiating a problem from an, 115–120
- differentiating a topic versus, 120–122
- drawing distinctions to clarify the, 76–77
- of effective coaching models, 52–53
- keeping it in mind even as it shifts, 129–131
- tracking progress and alterations in the, 122–135
- unwrapping the desired, 114–122
- vision of desired, 47–49, 112–120, 113fig
- See also change
- paraphrasing, 71–73, 78–89, 119–120
- parodies of connection, 160
- partnering, , 10, 15, 32, 158–159
- presence, 149, 152, 158, 174–175, 190
- Presence-Based Coaching (Silsbee), 150
- Presencing Routine, 158, 162–165, 186
- problems, 54, 55–62, 76–77, 115–120
- problem-solving, 24, 47, 52–56, 74–76
- psychological safety, 151–153
- questions
- asking open versus closed, 41–45
- coaching by combining reflective statements with, –4
- confirming, 12
- crazy coaching belief about coaching and, 39–41
- differentiating between inquiry and asking, –2
- exploratory, 12
- pairing summarizing with, 78–79
- vertical coaching and examples of, 124–125, 125fig
- quick/easy agreements, 181
- rappers fMRI experiment, 114
- RASA (receive, appreciate, summarize, and ask), 167
- rationalization, 20–22
- reality, 89–108
- recapping, 66–71
- receiving habit, 167–175, 190
- reflective inquiry
- coach and client benefits of, –5
- Dewey’s definition of, 11–12
- insight-based learning stimulated by, 26–29
- observing our stories through, , 21
- opening a person to learning, 21–22, 40–41
- See also coaching; coaching conversations; inquiry
- reflective inquiry toolbox
- active replay, 54, 63–87
- brain hacking, 54, 89–109
- focus, 54, 55–62
- goaltending, 54, 111–135
- new and next, 54, 137–148
- See also coaching sessions
- reflective statements, –4, 45–47, 190
- reinviting technique, 132–134
- relational field, 150
- releasing judgment. See catch and release judgment habit
- Reynolds, Marcia, , 35, 51, 55, 149, 177
- Rogers, Carl, 20
- self-esteem experiment, 64–65
- sensory awareness, 170–173
- short-term memory, 24
- Silsbee, Doug, 150
- social needs, 101–104
- solution-focused coaching, 60
- Stone, Douglas, 25
- stories
- coaching the, 93–100, 93fig
- contextual field shaping our, 91–92, 91fig
- emotional fog triggered by, 115
- identity and reality based on our box of, 89–92
- inviting and reinviting technique to examine, 132–134
- reflective statements for observing our, , 21
- See also case studies
- Storytelling Animal, The (Gottschall), 93
- summarizing, 65–79, 119–120
- surface (or transactional) coaching, 52, 53–54
- survival-based learning, 24–26
- tearful reaction, 181
- telling, 23–24
- therapeutic presence, 152
- thinking, 20–23, 36–49, 56. See also brain
- Thinking, Fast and Slow (Kahneman), 20
- threatening, 24–26
- tipping point, 59
- transactional (or surface) coaching, 52, 53–54
- transformational coaching, 53–54
- Treasure, Julien, 167
- trust, 151, 152
- truth, 60, 79–87, 90
- uncertainty, 57, 76, 122
- unconscious bias (blind spot), 99, 177–180
- values, 91–92, 91fig, 105–108, 109, 177–178
- Van Gogh, Vincent, 178–179
- verbal processors, 30, 52
- vertical coaching, 124–126, 125fig
- vision of desired outcome, 47–49, 112–113, 113fig, 115
- Weil, Simone, 155
- Wheatley, Margaret, 194
- Whitmore, John, 20
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