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When You Complain, Make Sure You Are Giving a Gift

If everyone gets into the habit of demanding quality service and quality products, we’re more likely to receive higher quality. Why should a business improve its service offerings if it gets no feedback that something is wrong? You may say, “But what if I’m just picky? Maybe it’s just my peculiar tastes” or “What right do I have to complain when they’re trying so hard?” or “I’m sure they are people, just like me, and I occasionally make mistakes.” Maybe all this is true. But that still doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give feedback to help organizations get better at serving you.

We are aware of a relatively strong movement about creating a complaint-free world led by Will Bowen, an American evangelist. His thesis is that if we all stopped moaning, the world would be a better place. He urges people to purchase one of his purple bracelets. Every time you complain about something (out loud), you switch the bracelet to your opposite wrist. The goal is to wear it for twenty-one consecutive days without having to switch it. At the time of the rewriting of this book, almost 5 million people had purchased bracelets from Bowen’s Web site. Part of Bowen’s philosophy is that complaining rarely does anything good. Perhaps that’s what needs to change. No doubt a lot of the complaining that most of us do in our personal lives really does little. But we’re talking about something different here. We’re discussing making this a better world to live in because we speak up.

If you’re dissatisfied because some service or product didn’t meet your needs, you can say nothing, leave, and go to a competitor. After all, that’s what most customers do. We would argue that when you do that, you’re being unfair to the first company. How can a business know how to satisfy you if you don’t let them know what happened? Isn’t it a good idea to give people who frequently work long hours a second chance to make it right for us? Would you personally like this opportunity if you were in their position? If your feedback enables an organization you regularly buy from to improve its service, then you make it a stronger company. It’s then able to serve you better over the course of your relationship.

Think of complaining as proactive constructive feedback. Just as companies must switch their attitudes about complaints, so too must consumers change how they think about complaints. Think of them as gifts—and wrap them beautifully.

Complaining Helps Make the World a Better Place for All of Us

Most service providers appreciate a professional, nonattacking tone of voice when handling complaints from customers. If they don’t react positively to you while you are doing everything possible to stay polite and they still aren’t helping you, then take your business elsewhere. Be sure to tell them you aren’t coming back. Every time we see bad service and say nothing about it, we subtly encourage the company to continue with that same level of service. Here are some examples:

• Every time we go into a department store and no clerks are available to help us because they’re having private chats in groups, ignoring customers, and we don’t say anything, we encourage this behavior. If they go to work somewhere else, these clerks will no doubt continue the same behavior, which is a common problem in the retail environment. A survey conducted by Yankelovich Partners revealed that 65 percent of shoppers say that in the previous six months they had tried to buy a product in a retail shop but gave up and left because clerks weren’t available to serve them.¹

• Every time we stand in a long line in the grocery store because additional cash registers aren’t being staffed and we don’t point this out, we enable managers to believe that they can get away with inadequate service.

• Every time we get passed from one department to another without being helped and we don’t speak up, we allow the company to not improve its internal communications.

• Every time we go to a restaurant that is overbooked and we have to wait thirty minutes for our reserved table and we don’t speak up, diners let the owners believe this is an acceptable practice. Some restaurants do this intentionally so the waiting diners will run up a bar tab.

• Every time we receive shoddy luggage service at a hotel and the bellhop sticks a hand out for a tip and we give the bellhop money, we’re telling the bellhop that tips aren’t connected to the service behavior but are a requirement.

• Every time we’re served restaurant food that is too salty, overcooked, too tough, or whatever, and we don’t say anything, the restaurant has no way of knowing its food is substandard or that the new chef isn’t working out.

• Every time a credit card company sends our bill late with barely enough time for us to make our payment without incurring late charges and we don’t threaten to cut up our card if the practice continues, we allow the company to believe that this devious policy is okay.

• Every time we allow the post office to deliver packages late and we just grumble to ourselves and say nothing to our postal carriers, we enable mail delivery services around the world to continue at minimal levels. And with the competition they face, this is no gift to them.

So, don’t get embarrassed. But do speak up. Or write a letter if saying something is too difficult for you. If you use the following suggestions, you can complain with a minimum of personal discomfort and maximize the chances to get what you want—or at least to help improve service for someone who follows you.

Seven Steps to Becoming an Effective Complainer

The following seven steps don’t have to be followed in this order. However you use them, they’ll help you get what you want without becoming a ballistic customer, when the techniques discussed in this book will be used on you!

1. Be clear what you’re dissatisfied about.

2. Be polite.

3. Be specific and realistic.

4. Describe the cost to you and what you expect.

5. Make constructive suggestions.

6. Thank the person for his or her help.

7. Give the organization another chance.

Be Clear What You’re Dissatisfied About

Giving a gift to someone almost always takes some effort. You have to get the present, wrap it, and finally deliver it. The same is true with feedback. You have to find the right person to complain to, you have to be willing to retell an event that perhaps was unpleasant, and generally you have to do it in front of a live person—if you decide not to write a complaint letter. As a result, it’s a good idea to have clarity about your complaint. Ask yourself, “Why am I complaining? Why am I giving these people a gift? Is it to vent? Is it to get something repaired? Is it for a product exchange or to get my money back? Is it to make sure that this never happens again? Is it to show them how clever I am?”

Most of the time we’re upset about the product or service or the way it’s been delivered. We’re not upset with the service provider. Therefore, keep your remarks directed to the product or service—don’t get personal. The moment you attack the people trying to help you, they’re much more likely to become defensive. Even if they don’t show it, they’re less likely to cut you any slack or offer you something extra. That’s not in your best interest.

If it helps to remind yourself, you can say, “It’s not you I’m upset with” or “I know it’s not your fault, but I am upset that I have been kept waiting for an hour and nothing has been said.” Most service providers will have a more open ear to hear what you have to say if you let them know you’re not angry with them. In order to avoid getting personal, it always helps to maintain a crystal-clear picture of what you want. When you do this, you keep your rational brain focused on your goal, and you’ll be less likely to get sucked into the morass of your emotions. Express your complaint immediately. Many times people tell themselves that they’ll complain when they get home by calling or writing a letter. Most of us won’t.

You don’t have to say, “I have a complaint.” If you were on the receiving end of such a statement, some little part of you would probably internally groan and wonder what kind of trouble just walked up to you. You can begin your complaint by asking a question: “Excuse me, is there possibly a better way to do this?” The moment we ask questions like that, we start building partnerships. Bernard Hale, vice president of human resources and logistics at McGaw Labs, reminds us, “Feedback is especially important in building partnerships. You have to trust each other enough to tell about the warts—‘what’s happening here is not good.’”²

Give the person you’re talking with a chance to fix the complaint, unless you know from past experience that the only way to get help is to ask for a supervisor or manager. Most customer-facing staff have been empowered these days to handle simple recurring complaints. If you immediately ask for a manager, you may end up alienating the manager and the person you started talking with, who now feels slighted that you didn’t think he or she was capable of helping you.

Think through what your rights are in this situation. You may have none except the power you possess as a customer to leave. In many situations, however, consumers do have rights. Airlines, for example, are forced to compensate you in some way if they bump you to a later flight because of an oversold situation. If you have a confirmed reservation at a hotel, the hotel has some obligation to make sure you at least get a comparable room at a nearby hotel. If you think you may have to negotiate with the company, set a minimum that you are willing to accept.

Be Polite

It helps if you bring your gift to the company in a friendly and calm manner. Some people find it useful to start by saying something positive, which may also help you settle down and bring a note of reality about your dealings with this organization. “I’ve always had such good service from your company, and now this has happened” or “I’ve been a loyal, faithful, and satisfied customer of yours for ten years, but today I have a problem” or “Normally, I receive such good service at your company. Today has been different.”

Janelle once had a major problem with an Apple laptop computer. It caused her intense grief on a major international trip and involved attempting to get the computer fixed while she was in Ireland. She spent hours on the phone with Apple, calling from abroad. Nothing worked. When she returned to the United States, she sent the computer in to be repaired. It came back still not working. Unfortunately, the problem was an intermittent one. And Janelle was preparing to leave for another long trip with just a few days to spare. She had no opportunity to take it to an Apple Shop or to send it in for repairs. It’s helpful to understand that Janelle is a major fan of Apple Computers: she’s an early adopter of everything the company sells, she tells magnificent stories about the company, and she always proudly displays her Apple computer wherever she is.

Finally, Janelle was bumped to a product specialist who heard Janelle tell the same tale she had by this time told a dozen times before to Apple call center staff, who would only recommend either reinstalling everything again (this had been tried three times to no avail) or sending in the computer. No one seemed interested that she needed a computer for her speaking tour. This product specialist once again offered nothing but the same tired solutions, and since the problem was an intermittent one, the chances of the repair team finding it were minimal.

At that point, Janelle became very quiet. Then she said with a deep sense of sadness in her voice, “I’m very disappointed in Apple. I’ve been one of your biggest fans. I’ve probably sold more Apples for you than either of us can even imagine. I’ve used only Apples. I have had my entire office on Apples, through your strong times and your very weak times. And now I desperately need something from you, and you’re not willing to help.” She finished by saying, “I feel a huge crack in the foundation of my loyalty to Apple. I don’t know if I can continue with you if you’re not willing to help me.”

This statement was followed by a long silence on the part of the product specialist. Finally, he said, “You’re right. I’m going to arrange to have a new computer sent to you overnight. Keep the one you have until the new one arrives so you can transfer all your documents on to this one, and then send it back.” Yes, Apple Computers! And yes, complaints!

It’s best to avoid cynical remarks. They just increase defensiveness, and that’s not the attitude you want people to have while you are trying to get them to help you. For example, “Do you always treat your guests like dogs?” will probably induce a blank stare from the service provider. What the service provider would really like to say is, “Only when they are dogs, and you seem to be one, sir,” but he or she has been counseled not to do that. You may get your problem solved, but that person isn’t going to do anything extra for you. Remember, you want service, not revenge.

Sometimes humor helps when you need something. For example, with a big smile, we have asked service providers who have denied a request what they would do if the Queen of England asked for the same thing. Generally, they smile and say, “Well, yes, for the Queen we might grant the request.” We respond with another big smile and say, “The Queen isn’t here, so how about if I take her place?” We get a lot of requests met this way.

Help service providers help you. Point out reasons why it’s in their best interests to help you. In most cases, they want to help. At a minimum, you can get them into a frame of mind where they’re willing to do something extra for you. If you clearly see that nothing will be done and you have divorced yourself from their company, then tell them that you won’t be coming back. If you intend to write a letter to the head of the company, tell them that as well. Sometimes a statement of this type will open up some room for negotiation. It’s not a good idea, however, to make empty threats. Writing that letter may provide closure for you with that organization.

Many customers have become very sophisticated in their letter writing. A recent book, 101+ Complaint Letters That Get Results,³ with many sample letters included, outlines a step-by step procedure to get results from writing complaint letters. The authors tell their readers whom to write (the head of the company), how to get the CEO’s name and address (using sneaky techniques), how to put pressure on the company by threatening to send copies to public agencies or newspapers, and how to pace your letter writing so you don’t shoot all your bullets in the first round.

Be Specific and Realistic

Don’t exaggerate. If you start your complaint with “The most unbelievable thing has just happened to me,” it’s difficult for the service provider not to think you’re a bit hysterical. State as precisely as you can exactly what happened. Keep your facts straight and in order. If you tend to jump around a lot in your storytelling, take notes in advance and then follow them.

Describe the Cost to You and What You Expect

The cost may be in monetary terms, emotional terms, or time lost. You aren’t necessarily asking that you be compensated, but it is important to let people know how you’ve been affected. Let service providers know what it will take to satisfy you. You won’t necessarily get exactly what you want. If you overstate your case, though, the organization is likely to just write you off. So be realistic in what you expect. Put yourself in the service provider’s shoes and imagine what you would be willing to do for someone like you. If you expect something to be done in a certain time frame, then state your deadline. If you have to go back for resolution of your complaint, make sure you get the names of the people with whom you have talked. Most people will show more care in their treatment of you if they know you’re writing their name down.

Make Constructive Suggestions

You’ve probably got a few good ideas that this company can try so your situation doesn’t happen again. Ask the person you’re talking with to be sure to pass this information on to his or her manager or to an in-house committee that addresses quality issues.

Thank the Person for His or Her Help

You are serving each other, so thanks are in order. Tell the service provider how much you appreciate what he or she did for you. It helps reinforce the person’s helping behavior. If you’re going to come back and give the company additional business, tell the person about that as well. All these statements reinforce that a complaint is a gift.

Give the Organization Another Chance

As businesspeople ourselves, we probably speak for most businesses when we say that our intention is to meet our customers’ needs. Sometimes we miss the mark. When this happens, we surely hope our customers will give us the opportunity to fix the problem and give us another chance. Write a letter to the organization if it fixed some problem exceptionally well for you. This helps reinforce the notion that successful resolution of complaints is a good way to cement relationships with customers.

If You Choose to Become an Activist

Activist behavior involves reaching out to a third party to get help with your complaint. Here are some ideas that can help:

• If you worked with an intermediary person, go to him or her. For example, contact your travel agent if you had a travel-related problem. Sometimes your travel agent will carry more clout than you. If you bought an airline ticket on Expedia, for example, Expedia may be better at solving your travel problem than the airlines themselves.

• Contact your local Better Business Bureau. It may not be able to help you directly, but it does keep track of trends and can warn other people.

• Get on your computer and google the names and addresses of government regulatory agencies that can help you. For example, states in the United States all have insurance regulatory commissions. They can and will help. The U.S. Department of Transportation can help with airline travel complaints.

• Contact your state attorney general’s office if you think some laws may have been violated.

• Get on the Web and post messages at some of the complaint Web sites to alert other people to the problems you’ve had. You may receive advice from a reader who had a similar problem and got it resolved.

• Write a letter to your local newspaper or related industry magazine.

Hopefully, if you complain effectively, there won’t be a need for Activist behavior. When that happens, you’ve gained something—and so has the organization. It’s something we can all work at to accomplish.