Index
A
Albright, Madeline, 119
Angelou, Maya, 17
Antonucci, Emil, 163
Arao, Brian, 173–74
The Art and Spirit of Leadership (Brown), 187
Auden, W. H., 52
Awakening Compassion at Work (Worline), 16
“An Away-Day with the Shadow” (Ayot), 64
Ayot, William: on access to the “invisibles” through poetry, 52–53
“An Away-Day with the Shadow” by, 64
B
Barry, Wendell, 36
BBC, 10
Beloved Community vision, 183
Berends, Polly, 109
Bici Centro, 57
Bob and Mike’s story: on asking open, honest questions, 128–30, 149
on gift of listening without fixing, 126–27
Boone, Jill: how questions opened up options, 138–39, 149
showing courage during tense situations, 138–39
transforming conflict instead of managing it, 139–40
Bourgeois, Christine, 67
Boyer, Dave: having the course to start MCD, Inc., 180–82
his commitment to sustainability and stewardship, 182
work stress experienced by, 179
The Brain’s Behind It (Smith), 7
brave spaces, 173–74
Brown, Brené, 11
Buechner, Frederick, 171
burnout: Ed France’s struggle with, 65, 66
Mukta Panda’s struggle with, 97–98
C
calling: meaning of vocational, 115–16
neoclassical meaning of, 115
Center for Courage & Renewal: annual reviews structured with open, honest questions at, 133
Circle of Trust approach of, 24–26, 28, 172
Courage & Renewal Academy for Leaders program of, 40
Courage to Lead for Nonprofit Leaders program of, 58
Courage to Lead retreats of, 77, 105
Courage to Teach retreats of, 77
Ed France’s empowerment after completing series of, 67
exploring “what-if ” questions at the, 21–22
holding the tension of the moment after 2016 presidential election at, 144
Leading Together: Building Adult Community in Schools program of, 77–78
Lynne Fiscus’s applications of principles of, 70–75
relational trust framework developed by, 77–78
their work grounded in core value of love, 91. See also Courage Way; Palmer, Parker J.; touchstones
change: art and practice of skillful transitions and, 187–88
courage to leave and still love during, 183–85
courage to leave well and embrace, 186–87
courage to stay true and embrace, 189
fortifying your Courage Way journey ahead for, 189–90
Chatter Matters charity, 88
choosing wisely: choosing to risk, 154–55
FTE’s courage to renew and reinvent itself, 155–59
Greg Eaton’s story on, 151–53
inner truth used to guide our, 151
to renew and reinvent, 155–59
A Rubric for Choosing with Integrity, 160–62
trusting the process of, 159–60
chutzpah–humility paradox, 87–88, 89
Circle of Trust: Center for Courage & Renewal’s work using, 25
participation in conversation is always by invitation, 28
touchstones facilitating the, 25–26. See also touchstones
The Circus of the Sun (Lax), 191
Clemens, Kristi, 173–74
collective courage, 13–14
Communities of inquiry, 92–93
community: building trust in the, 49–50
choosing with integrity by looking for, 160–61
Courage Way and significance of a supportive, 23, 90–91
designing spaces to connect, 166–68
Ed France’s work building the biking, 57–60
as a gift to be received, 47
Greg Sunter on building trust and, 123
Habits of the Heart on capacity to create, 158–59
leadership capacity to create and receive, 41–42, 47–49
as requiring careful and regular tending, 41–42, 48
Community Environmental Council (CEC), 1, 2, 3, 166–68
community reflective practice: communities of inquiry as, 92–93
finding common ground with third things, 93–94
importance and benefits of, 90–91
solitudes as a, 91–92
compassion: the courage of “fierce,” 16–17
micro-shift of leadership, 42–43, 46–47. See also the heart competence: relational trust lens of, 80–81
traditional perspective of, 80
confidentiality touchstone: commit to and maintain confidentiality, 26
protecting trustworthy space, 33–34
conflict: holding tension response to, 137, 141–44
how we engage in problem solving in tense situations and, 137
transforming it instead of managing, 139–40
connections: creating trustworthy space for making, 25–35
designing spaces for community, 166–68
Lellene Rector’s commitment to LGBTQ inclusivity and, 164–65
Susan Glisson’s work building, 175–78
valuing otherness to make, 174
welcoming all sorts of diversity and, 169–71
conversations: asking open, honest questions, 26, 31–32
Greg Sunter’s use of questions to invite people into, 121–24
Kate Sheppard’s holding the tension of the moment opening space for, 143–44
no fixing touch-stone guiding, 26, 30
shared truth arising from within meaningful, 36
truth touchstone guiding truthful, 26, 29–30
wonder touchstone guiding rough, 26, 30–31. See also deep listening; dialogue
courage: collective, 13–14
exists in the spaces between us, 15–16, 36
fortitude and, 7–8, 15, 189–90
giving voice to, 119–20
to leave and still love, 183–85
to “leave well,” 186–87
courageous leadership: based on bringing your full self to your work, 113–15
leadership reality of, 4. See also leadership
courageous leadership metaphors: jumping from ten-meter diving platform, 40–41
Möbius strip, 43–46, 50, 83, 161–62, 189–90
courageous leader stories: Bob and Mike, 126–30, 149
Dave Boyer, 179–82
Diana Chapman Walsh, 51–52
Estrus Tucker, 183–85
Greg Sunter, 121–24
Jonathan Zeichner, 109–13, 115, 118–19
Kate Sheppard, 142–44, 149, 169
Mukta Panda, 97–102
Patrick Herson, 39–43, 46–47, 48–50
Rosie Martin, 85–90, 90, 94, 96
Sigrid Wright, 1–4, 9, 13–14, 166–68
Susan Glisson, 175–78. See also leaders
Courage & Renewal Academy for Leaders, 40
The Courage to Create (May), 9
Courage to Lead for Nonprofit Leaders, 58
Courage to Lead retreats, 77, 105
“courage to stay,” 188
The Courage to Teach (Palmer), 93
Courage to Teach retreats, 77
courage types: creative, 12–14, 118–19
moral, 10–11
quiet, 16
social, 11–12
Courage Way: community ingredient of, 23, 90–91
fortifying for the your journey in the, 189–90
as guide to leadership, 20, 21
inner wisdom premise of the, 60
practice of open, honest questions as part of the, 127
practicing paradox ingredient of, 23–24
reflection ingredient of, 24
reflective practice ingredient of, 89–90
true self ingredient of, 17, 22
trust ingredient of, 21, 22–23, 88. See also Center for Courage & Renewal; specific ingredient
Courage Work: how curiosity is used in, 134–35
as individual and communal practice, 90
Jonathan Zeichner on inner sanctum built through, 112
renewal of individuals required for, 120
Rosie Martin on new understanding through, 88
the “third things” used in, 93–94
creative courage: description of, 12–13
finding your voice leads to, 118–19
leading to collective courage, 13–14
curiosity: Courage Work use of, 134–35
Einstein on “holy,” 128
as valuable asset in society, 134. See also open, honest questions
Curious (Leslie), 134
D
decision making: choosing to risk, 154–55
FTE’s courage to renew and reinvent itself, 155–59
Greg Eaton’s story on choosing wisely and, 151–53
inner truth used to guide our, 151
A Rubric for Choosing with Integrity, 160–62
trusting the process of choosing wisely, 159–60
deep listening: applied to performance reviews, 131–33
creating space and opportunities for, 167
Jill Boone’s defusing of tense situation using, 138–39
Mike and Bob’s story on not fixing but, 126–28
practicing, 126. See also conversations; no fixing touchstone; silence
deliberately developmental organizations (DDOs), 134
Deming, W. Edwards, 182
Designing Transformative Multicultural Initiatives (Watt), 170–71
dialogue: asking open, honest questions, 26, 31–32
Lellene Rector’s commitment opening LGBTQ welcome and, 164–65
no fixing touchstone guiding, 26, 30
truth touchstone guiding truthful, 26, 29–30
Where I’m From exercise (Welcome Table) to encourage, 175–77
wonder touchstone guiding rough, 26, 30–31. See also conversations
Dik, Bryan, 115
disrespect: courage to stand up to, 16
speak your truth without showing others any, 26, 29–30
standing up to incivility and, 16
diversity: Beloved Community’s vision of, 183
creating trustworthy space for, 25–35
institutions that truly embrace, 165
Lellene Rector’s commitment to LGBTQ inclusivity and, 164–65
Maya Angelou on beauty of, 168
welcoming all sorts of, 169–71
Dixie do-Dads (grandfather’s tool shop), 55–56, 59, 67
Duffy, Ryan, 115
E
Earth Day festivals (Santa Barbara), 2, 13–14
Einstein, Albert, 128
Embar, Ramya, 100–102
emotions: choosing with integrity by noticing your default, 161
social courage and role of, 12
“Unmasking Masculinity” (TEDx Talk) on men and, 12. See also love
empowerment: Ed France’s experience of finding, 66–67
how the true self offers us, 66–68
of Kate Sheppard’s holding the tension of the moment, 143–44
An Everyone Culture (Kegan and Lahey), 134
F
fear couplet (Rumi), 119
“fierce compassion” courage, 16–17
The Fifth Discipline (Senge), 182
fight or flight behavioral spectrum, 6–7
fight stress response, 6
finding your voice: creative courage founds through, 118–19
to give voice to courage, 119–20
Habits of the Heart on, 158
via negativa or hard choices for, 116–17
Fiscus, Lynne: application of respect to build relational trust by, 79
offered challenge of leading a new clinic, 69–70
on the “Parable of the Trapeze,” 71, 72–75
personal regard for her team shown by, 79–80
on relational trust in competence of her team, 80
successful Courage-based leadership applications by, 70–73
fixing. See no fixing touchstone
flight stress response, 6–7
flock stress response, 7
Food Action Plan (2016) [Santa Barbara County], 14
Foodbank of Santa Barbara County, 14
fortitude: courage and, 7–8
reinforced by having courage witnessed by others, 15
strategies for building your, 8
for your Courage Way journey ahead, 189–90
Forum for Theological Exploration (FTE): Fund for Theological Education name changed to, 159
Habits of the Heart approach to strategic planning by, 155–59
Stephen Lewis’ leadership of, 155
France, Ed: empowered by finding his true self, 66–67
functional atheism suffered by, 66
on his grandfather’s tool-lending shop, 55–56, 59, 67
on his “inner space exploration,” 62
on his self-determination vision in community, 59–60, 60
on learning self-care and renewal, 58–60, 65
on merging Bici Centro with SBBIKE, 57
Frankl, Viktor, 144
Franz, Marie-Louise von, 63–64
freeze stress response, 7
functional atheism shadow, 65–66
G
Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary, 163–65
Glisson, Susan, 175–78
“good” leadership, 19–20
“Go to the Limits of Your Longing” (Rilke), 42–43
Gowing, Nik, 4–5
groupthink, 7
H
Habits of the Heart: 1: recognizing that we’re all in this together, 156
2: appreciating the value of otherness, 156
3: holding tensions in life-giving ways, 157
4: a sense of personal voice and agency, 158
5: a capacity to create community, 158–59
Hamilton, Hal, 49
Havel, Václav, 39
the heart: ancient sense and definition of, 43
courage as coming from, 46–47
Habits of the Heart, 156–59
leaders willing to be vulnerable, 46–47
the Möbius strip to visualize convergence of courage in, 43–46, 50, 83, 161–62, 189–90. See also compassion
Helsing, Deborah, 35
Hepburn, Audrey, 96
Herson, Patrick: on becoming a doctor, 39–40
on building trust, 49–50
on leading with compassion, 42–43, 46–47
on regular tending of community, 41–42, 48
on ten-meter diving platform metaphor of leadership, 40–41
as willing to be vulnerable, 46–47
A Hidden Wholeness (Palmer), 142, 171–72
holding space touchstones, 35–36
holding tension response: description and purpose of, 141–42
to discuss 2016 presidential election, 144
Habits of the Heart on affirming paradox through, 157
how we can daily engage in, 137
Jill Boone’s open, honest questions and, 138–39
Kate Sheppard’s story on, 142–44
Niki’s story on, 145–47
Howell, Annie, 35
I
incivility, 16
inclusivity: Beloved Community’s vision of, 183
creating trustworthy space for, 25–35
Lellene Rector’s commitment to LGBTQ, 164–65
setting the table for genuine welcome and, 175–78
welcoming all, 169–71. See also welcome touchstone
inner teacher touchstone: attend to your own inner teacher, 26
guiding dialogue and conversations, 32
inner wisdom: becoming visible through integrity, 68
getting to know the self who leaders or, 60–61
how to access your true self or, 62–63
Popova’s “seismic core of personhood” or, 62
as underlying premise of the Courage Way, 60. See also true self
Inside Out Community Arts, 111
integrity: inner work becoming visible through our, 68
leaders who cultivate, 47
Parker Palmer on being in presence of, 43
relational trust lens of, 81–82
A Rubric for Choosing with Integrity, 160–62
interactions: relational trust arising from personal, 75–77
Sigrid’s redesign of CEC space for increased, 166–68
third things to find common ground and space for, 93–94
touchstones guiding, 27–35
interaction touchstones: commit to and maintain confidentiality, 33–34
creating trustworthy space, 27–29
guiding dialogue and large-group conversations, 29–33
keep growing the seeds planted, 34–35
invitation touchstone: creating trustworthy space with the, 28–29
extend invitation, not demand, 26
Welcome Table process as, 175–78
Island magazine, 94
ITW (Chicago), 179
J
“The Journey” (Oliver), 42, 51
Jung, Carl, 63
Just Sentences literacy program, 94
K
Kania, John, 49
King, Martin Luther, Jr., 183
L
Langdon, Chris, 4–5
Lax, Robert, 190–91
leaders: awakening them with poetry, 50–53
finding your own way, 36–37
holding space for vision and purpose, 35–36
love and patience required of a good, 91
meeting their true self, 17
touchstones for creating trustworthy space, 27–35. See also courageous leader stories; the self who leads
leadership: beyond fight or flight, 5–7
“good,” 19–20
having capacity to create community, 47–49
leading in a VUCA world, 4–5
Patrick Herson on micro-shift of compassionate, 42–43, 46–47
reflective, 95
the “what-if ” questions of, 21–22. See also courageous leadership
leading for impact practice, 95
leading for transformation practice, 95
leading from within practice, 95
Leading Together: Building Adult Community in Schools: creation and pilot program of, 77–78
school teams creating their own touchstones for, 78
leading together practice, 95
leaving: courage to leave and still love, 183–85
courage to leave well, 186–87
Lederach, John Paul, 118
Leslie, Ian, 134
Let Your Life Speak (Palmer), 65–66, 114
Lewis, Stephen: Forum for Theological Exploration (FTE) leadership of, 155
Habits of the Heart used to frame FTE’s strategic planning by, 155–59
LGBTQ persons, 164–65
life-giving transformation: holding tension to bring about, 137–47
Perceval and the Fisher King story on, 148
three touchstones as keys to, 147
listening. See deep listening
Living the Questions (Markova), 128
love: the Center’s work as grounded in core value of, 91
courage to leave and still, 183–85
and patience required of a good leader, 91
Rainer Maria Rilke on the nature of, 91. See also emotions
Lyons, George Ella, 175
M
Martin, Rich, 88
Martin, Rosalie “Rosie”: chatter Matters charity founded by, 88–89
her personal growth through reflective practice, 90
Just Sentences literacy program of, 94
offering to teach Risdon Prison inmates, 86–88, 96
pondering paradox of humility and chutzpah, 87–88, 89
on teaching adults to read and reflect, 85–86
MCD, Inc., 181–82
McKelley, Ryan, 12
Merton, Thomas, 102, 103–4, 190
metaphors. See courageous leadership metaphors
Mike’s story: on asking open, honest questions with Bob, 128–30, 149
on gift of listening without fixing, 126–27
on open, honest questions in daily life, 130–31
Milk, Harvey, 10
Millman, Debbie, 116
mindfulness, 11
Mission of Charity (India), 101
Möbius strip: choosing with integrity by where you are on the, 161–62
fortifying for your Courage Way journey on the, 189–90
to visualize convergence of courage in the heart, 43–46, 50, 83, 161–62
moral courage: as a choice, 10
examples of individuals with, 10–11
The Moral Imagination (Lederach), 118
N
“Night Song of the World” (Lax), 190–91
Niki’s story, 145–47
no fixing touchstone: caution about taking too literally, 149
guiding dialogue and large-group conversations, 30
no fixing, saving, advising, or correcting each other, 26. See also deep listening; open, honest questions
Nouwen, Henri J. M., 75
O
O’Donohue, John, 61
Oliver, Mary: “The Journey” by, 42, 51
“The Summer Day” by, 51
110 Freeway story, 118–19
open, honest questions: applied to performance reviews, 131–33
Bob and Mike’s story on asking, 128–31, 149
building trust with, 133–35
Courage Way practice using, 127
guidelines and purpose for using, 124–26
Jill Boone’s defusing of tense situation using, 138–39
as leading us to “holy curiosity,” 128
Mike’s use in daily life of, 130–31
performance reviews structured with, 131–33
practice asking open, honest questions touchstone, 26
touchstone for guiding dialogue and conversations, 31–32. See also curiosity; no fixing touch-stone; questions
organizations: deliberately developmental organizations (DDOs), 134
how they influence courage, 16–17
making skillful transitions and change in, 187–88
top-down, 16
otherness: courage to connect depends on valuing, 174
creating trustworthy space for inclusivity and, 25–35
Lellene Rector’s commitment to LGBTQ inclusivity and, 164–65
richness of our differences and, 174–75
welcoming all including, 169–71
P
Palmer, Parker J.: on being aware of leadership shadow and light, 63
on “be not afraid,” 8
on “Circle of Trust,” 24
on community as a gift, 47
on community to develop sense of true self, 121
on complicity in world-making as call to leadership, 19
The Courage to Teach by, 93
on creative tension-holding to solve problems, 137
Dave Boyer on influence of, 182
on debunking myth of organizational power over us, 106
on deciding to “live divided no more,” 10
Diana Chapman Walsh on lessons learned from, 51–52
on “functional atheism” shadow, 65–66
Habits of the Heart approach of, 155–59
A Hidden Wholeness by, 142, 171–72
on his inner teacher, 61
on how we can support another person’s growth, 91
on importance of reflection, 85
on inner truth guiding choices, 151
on learning through reflective practice, 90, 96
Let Your Life Speak by, 65–66, 114
on listening more deeply, 126
on living with our own inner teacher, 141
on paradox of faith and doubt, 107
on the power of vocation, 113
on presence of integrity, 43
on richness of our differences, 174–75
on self-care, 97
on violence as outcome of unresolved suffering, 146
“what-if ” questions on courage asked by, 21
on the “who” question of leadership, 60. See also Center for Courage & Renewal
Palmer, Sharon, 51
Panda, Mukta: personal and professional struggle of, 97–98
reflective practices filling her with hope, 98–99
Relaxing, Rejuvenating, Rejoicing in Residency sessions (RRRnR) created by, 99–100
ripple effect of renewal efforts of, 100–102
“Parable of the Trapeze” (YouTube video), 71, 72–75
paradoxes: choosing with integrity by looking for, 161
Courage Way and practice of, 23–24
expanding leadership by embracing, 118
of faith and doubt, 107
Habits of the Heart on holding tension and affirming, 157
of humility and chutzpah, 87–88, 89
of strength and vulnerability, 118
Parks, Rosa, 10
Parry, Danaan, 71
peer pressure flocking response, 7
Perceval and the Fisher King story, 148
performance reviews, 131–33
personal growth: love as capacity to extend ourselves for another’s, 91
Rosie Martin on her reflective practice and, 90
personal regard, 79–80
Petzet, Heinrich Wiegand, 93
Philip, Joan, 181–82
physical courage: as a choice, 10
description of, 9–10
of Sigrid Wright during car accident, 1–2, 4, 9
A Place Called Home (APCH), 111–12, 118
poetry: awakening leaders with, 50–53
“Go to the Limits of Your Longing” (Rilke), 42–43
“The Journey” (Oliver), 42, 51
“Night Song of the World” (Lax), 190–91
“Potbound” (Walsh), 179
“Relay” (Brown), 187
“Song of Myself” (Whitman), 55
“The Summer Day” (Oliver), 51
Welcome Table’s Where I’m From exercise on writing, 175–77
Popova, Maria, 62
“Potbound” (Walsh), 179
presence touchstone: be present as fully as possible, 26
creating trustworthy space with the, 28
presidential election (2016), 144
problem solving: creative tension-holding for, 137
Jill Boone’s open, honest questions and holding tension for, 138–39
project champions, 16
Q
questions: Perceval and the Fisher King story on importance of asking, 148
used by Greg Sunter to invite people into conversations, 121–24
“what if,” 21–22
Where I’m From exercise (Welcome Table), 175–77. See also open, honest questions
quiet courage, 16
R
Radmacher, Mary Ann, 15–16
“raising the bar,” 16
reality: courage as part of leadership, 4
Florida Scott-Maxwell on being “fierce” with, 82
Rector, Lallene: creating a welcome to LGBTQ persons, 164–65
as Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary president, 163–64
on limitations of creating a safe space, 173
reflection: Courage Way ingredient of, 24
Parker Palmer on importance of, 85
renewal through, 96
reflective practices: community, 90–94
the Courage Way and, 89–90
leadership, 95
Parker Palmer on learning through, 90
Rosie Martin’s personal growth through, 90
self-awareness by engaging in, 89–90
Reinventing Organizations (Laloux), 134
relational trust: arising from social exchanges, 76–77
competence lens of, 80–81
importance of, 75–76
integrity lens of, 81–82
personal regard lens of, 79–80
respect lens of, 78–79
relational trust framework: Center for Courage & Renewal’s research and, 77–78
Leading Together: Building Adult Community in Schools program using, 77–78
relationships: being in the presence of integrity and investing in, 43
third things to find common ground and space for, 93–94
touchstones creating trustworthy space for, 27–35
Relaxing, Rejuvenating, Rejoicing in Residency sessions (RRRnR) program, 99–100
“Relay” (Brown), 187
renewal: Audrey Hepburn on the need for, 96
Ed France on learning elf-care and, 58–60
having the courage for, 155–59
Mukta Panda’s efforts bringing ripple effect of, 100–102
the ongoing need for, 107–8
reflection used for, 96
trustworthy space through touchstone of, 26, 34–35. See also self-care
renewal touchstone: know that it’s possible for the seeds planted here to keep growing, 26
protecting trustworthy space through, 34–35
resilience: arising from self-awareness and true self, 99, 102, 104, 107–8
Courage-based leadership and resilience retreats to build, 70
detaching from work to build, 101
knowing the self who leads builds, 60
needing other people in community contributes to, 23
respect: Lellene Rector’s commitment to LGBTQ inclusivity and, 164–65
relational trust lens of, 78–79
speak your truth in ways that show others, 26, 29–30
Rilke, Rainer Maria, 42–43, 91, 93
risk management, 154–55
Robèrt, Karl-Henrik, 182
Rodney King beating verdicts (1992), 110
Rumi couplet on fear, 119
S
safe spaces, 173–74
Santa Barbara Bicycle Coalition (SBBIKE), 57, 59
Santa Ynez Bank of Chumash Indians, 145
Scharmer, Otto, 60–61
Schneider, Barbara, 77, 78, 81
Schön, Donald, 89
The School Project, 111
schools: Leading Together: Building Adult Community in Schools program in, 77–78
relational trust framework tested in, 77
Scott-Maxwell, Florida, 82
self-awareness: choosing with integrity with, 160
engaging in reflection to gain, 89–90
resilience arises from care of true self and, 107–8
starting with understanding yourself, 68
self-care: cultivating community as form of, 48–49
distinction between care of true self and, 102–3, 177
Ed France on learning renewal and, 58–60
Parker Palmer on need for, 97
possible when a leader speaks the truth, 106
Susan Glisson’s call for, 177
Vera’s creative response to suffering, 104–6. See also renewal
the self who leads: getting to know the inner wisdom of, 60–62
Parker Palmer on the “who” question of, 60. See also leaders; true self
shadow: of functional atheism, 65–66
seen in many “-isms,” 64–65
of the true self, 63–65
Sheppard, Kate, 142–44, 149, 169
silence: challenge of allowing, 127
Quakers on “companionable,” 53
touchstone on, 26, 32–33. See also deep listening
silence touchstone: guiding dialogue and conversations, 32–33
trust and learn from the silence, 26
Simmons, Greg, 186–87
situational awareness, 11
Smith, Alistair, 7
social courage: description of, 11–12
role of authentic emotions in, 12
as workplace “fierce compassion,” 16–17
solitudes, 91–92
“Song of Myself ” (Whitman), 55
spaces: courage exists in the spaces between us, 15–16, 36
created for deep listening opportunities, 167
creating trustworthy, 25–35
designed to connect community, 166–68
Ed France on his “inner space exploration,” 62
held for leader vision and purpose, 35–36
holding the tension of the moment for opening conversation, 143–44
safe versus brave, 173–74
third things to find common ground and, 93–94
touchstones for holding, 35–36
“staying conscious” leadership metaphor, 2, 4
Stewart, Dafina-Lazarus, 172
suffering: Niki’s story on life-giving transformation of, 145–47
violence as outcome of unresolved, 146
“The Summer Day” (Oliver), 51
Sunter, Greg: on building community and trust, 123
posing questions on sense of vocation and purpose, 123–24
using questions to invite people into conversation, 121–24
Sustainable Equity, 175
T
Talkin, Erik, 14
tension: holding tension response to, 141–44
Jill Boone’s experience defusing, 138–39
Theory U (Scharmer), 60–61
Theresa, Mother, 101
“think and do” leadership style, 2
Thinking the Unthinkable: A New Imperative for Leadership in a Digital Age report (2016), 4–5, 81
“third things”: description and functions of, 93
finding common ground with, 93–94
Thomas Aquinas, 7–8
Tippett, Krista, 131
top-down organizations, 16
touchstones: Circle of Trust facilitated by, 25–26
for creating trustworthy space, 27–35
defining a shared commitment to hold safe space, 92
description of the, 25–26
finding your own way through the, 36–37
holding space, 35–36
as keys to life-giving transformation, 147
Leading Together program, 78
Touchstones at a Glance list of, 26
for welcoming the soul without an agenda, 171–72. See also Center for Courage & Renewal; Circle of Trust; specific touchstone
transitions. See change
true self: a centered life to honor our, 45
choosing with integrity with self-awareness of your, 160
community reflective practice and becoming your, 90–91
the courage to stay true to your, 189
distinction between self-care and care of, 102–3, 177
empowerment through the, 66–68
learning to access your, 62–63
Parker Palmer on community role in developing, 121
resilience arises from self-awareness and, 107–8
the shadow side of the, 63–65
trust your wholeness, 68
understanding that courage comes from our, 17, 22. See also inner wisdom; the self who leads
trust: choosing with integrity by looking for, 160
courage coming from a deep self-knowledge and, 21
Courage Way ingredient of, 21, 22–23, 88
creating relational, 75–77
Greg Sunter on building community and, 123
the inner life of, 83
open, honest questions used to build, 133–35
“Parable of the Trapeze” (YouTube video) on, 71, 72–75
Patrick Herson on building, 49–50
touchstones for creating trustworthy space, 25–35
trustworthy space touchstones: attend to your own inner teacher, 26, 32
commit to and maintain confidentiality, 26, 33–34
defining a shared commitment to hold safe space, 92
extend invitation, not demand, 26, 28–29
give and receive welcome, 26, 27
know that it’s possible for the seeds planted here to keep growing, 26, 34–35
no fixing, saving, advising, or correcting each other, 26, 30
practice asking open, honest questions, 26, 31–32
speak your truth in ways that respect other people’s truth, 26, 29–30
trust and learn from the silence, 26, 32–33
when the going gets rough, turn to wonder, 26, 30–31
truth: care of true self possible when leader speaks the, 106
conversations between us creating shared, 36
touchstone on speaking and respecting, 26, 30–31
truth touchstone: guiding interactions during dialogue, 29–30
speak your truth in ways that respect other people’s truth, 26
Tucker, Charles, 175
Tucker, Estrus, 183–85
U
United Nations General Assembly, 10
University of Virginia, 77
“Unmasking Masculinity” (McKelley’s TEDx Talk), 12
V
Vanier, Jean, 69
Vera’s story, 104–6
via negativa, 116–17
vocation: Greg Sunter’s posed questions on purpose and, 123–24
listening for the voice of, 113–15
the meaning of calling in, 115–16;
via negativa approach to sense of, 116–17. See also work
VUCA world, 4–5
vulnerability: idea of courage coming from, 46–47
paradox of strength and, 118
W
Walsh, Diana Chapman, 51–52, 179
Welcome Table (Sustainable Equity), 175–78
welcome touchstone: creating trustworthy space with the, 27
give and receive welcome, 26
Lellene Rector’s commitment to the, 163–65
setting the table for genuine welcome, 175–78
welcoming all sorts of diversity, 169–71
welcoming the soul without an agenda, 171–72. See also inclusivity
“what-if” questions, 21–22
Where I’m From exercise (Welcome Table), 175–77
Whitman, Walt, 55
William Winter Institute for Racial Reconciliation (University of Mississippi), 175
witnessing courage, 15–16
wonder touchstone: as caution about, 149
guiding dialogue and large-group conversations, 30–31
Niki’s story on turning suffering into wonder, 145–47
when the going gets rough, turn to wonder, 26
work: courageous leadership based on bringing your full self to, 113–15
holding space for the vision and purpose of, 35–36
touchstones creating trustworthy space for, 27–35. See also vocation
workplace: creating relational trust in the, 75–77
cultivating courage in the, 14–16
“fierce compassion” courage in the, 16–17
leaders who cultivate integrity in the, 47
Worline, Monica, 14–15, 16, 36
Wright, Sigrid: car accident experienced by, 1–2, 4, 9
creating opportunities for deep listening, 167
creative courage of, 13–14
leading CEC with courage, 1–3, 4
redesigning CEC space to connect community, 166–68
Y
Yousafzai, Malala, 10
Z
Zeichner, Jonathan: on being called to service work, 115
challenges providing for his eldest brother, 110
early life experiences of, 109–10
embracing paradox of strength and vulnerability, 118
110 Freeway story told by, 118–19
A Place Called Home (APCH) executive director role by, 111–12, 118
on positive outcomes of Courage Work, 112–13
The School Project and Inside Out community Arts started by, 111