I’m an upbeat sort of person who loves to see the best in everything. Interestingly, whenever I do a question and answer session at an event I get asked, ‘Are you like this all the time?’ Or, ‘Do you ever have a bad day?’

My answer is simple. Of course I have bad days! We all do. However, what I focus on is making sure I don’t have ‘one of those days’ all day.

This chapter is about what to do when you are having ‘one of those days’, when things aren’t going to plan or when for no apparent reason you’re just feeling flat or down, or generally struggling.

It’s important that you read this now because the prospect of you picking up this book when you are having ‘one of those days’, finding the relevant chapter, reading it, feeling inspired and doing something about it is, at best, slim.

So I’m going to break this chapter down and cover what to do from the minute you wake up (or even before) to last thing at night. There are some simple ideas and some that will test your ability to use Flip It thinking. So let’s get started with waking up and, even more challenging, getting up.

Waking up

Are you one of those people who wakes feeling refreshed and full of energy? Your eyes pop open bright and early and without the use of an alarm clock. Or do you have your slumber broken by the incessant beep beep of the alarm or your current least favourite song blaring on the radio?

This section is for those of us (the majority) who fall into the latter category. So in true Flip It style we’re not going to start with getting up, we’re going to start with going to bed. One of the main reasons why you find it hard to get up is because you aren’t going to bed properly, and this leads to poor or inadequate sleep. Yes, I know that doesn’t help you today, but if you make a decision to deal with your sleep deprivation, tomorrow will be better, and all the following mornings will be followed by even better days. So let’s start with the basics.

1. Go to bed one hour earlier. An extra hour before 11 pm is worth three after 7 am.
2. Avoid stimulants late at night: tea, coffee, TV, a screaming row, etc.
3. Make sure you won’t be interrupted at night. Switch your mobile phone off or on to silent, and keep it away from your head.
4. If you’re a busy person, write down the five most important things you should do the next day. By putting these on paper you’ll remove stress and it’s excellent for time management.
5. When you relax for sleep, see yourself in a large comfortable bed. In your mind tell each part of your body to relax as you drift into a deep relaxing sleep. Do this: focus on the top of your head and feel it relax as you say in your mind, ‘I am falling into a deep relaxing sleep, I am falling into a deep relaxing sleep, I am falling into a deep relaxing sleep’. Do the same with your forehead, face, jaw, neck, shoulders, arms, hands, upper body, lower body, thighs, calves, soles of your feet and toes.
6. If you should wake during the night, nip to the loo if you need to, then just close your eyes and repeat this process from step five.

You’ll have a much better night’s sleep – and here’s the best bit: you will wake up feeling more refreshed and rejuvenated, making ‘one of those days’ a less likely prospect.

Getting up and getting going

For many people just getting out of bed is a massive challenge. It’s warm and cosy in there and you really do need just a little more sleep. When the alarm goes off, don’t hit the snooze button. Instead say to yourself, ‘Get up, get going, ___ ___’. You can fill in the blanks with something that motivates you – for example, get rich, have fun, live life, be brilliant! Make it personal. Then practise saying it both internally and externally. Make it a part of you.

OK, you’re out of bed. While you’re in the shower use this time to reaffirm that you are about to have a brilliant day. Some people use affirmations like, ‘I am having a brilliant day, good things come to me’. Others just concentrate their efforts on lots of positive self-talk. The point is, if you don’t control what’s going on in your mind something else will.

Now there’s the journey into work. For many people ‘one of those days’ starts with their commute into work. ‘I knew it was going to be a bad day after I was held up for 25 minutes at Junction 34,’ says Carole. This is interesting because Carole drives the same way to work every day and often gets caught up in traffic around Junction 34. So why all the fuss? Simple, it has been programmed into us. Rather than celebrating the fact that we can drive (get the train, bus, etc.), in relative comfort, from our front door to our office and most days it works perfectly, we dwell on those occasions when the journey isn’t so good.

The reason for this is the human need for significance. And you know that by recounting your horrendous journey to work to your colleagues you get significance. ‘One of those days’ may start with you saying, ‘I’ve had a nightmare this morning – 25 minutes at Junction 34 and when I eventually get to the front of the queue, what’s the obstruction? Nothing! Drives me nuts.’ Sound familiar?

First there will be someone else who can empathise because they were stuck in it too. Then there will be the competitive one who says, ‘That’s nothing, I was stuck for two days once at Junction 11 – now that is a nightmare!’ And you may get the caring one who says, ‘You’ll need a cup of tea before the finance meeting then’.

So here’s a Flip It challenge:

‘I had a great run in today, did you hear Chris Evans? Brilliant stuff, I love that show.’

Now that is a real Flip It opportunity. You’ll be fighting against the desire to get some significance by putting up with a tough commute. Plus there will be further temptation when someone says, ‘Didn’t you get stuck around Junction 34? I did – nightmare.’

You could say, ‘Yes, it slowed down a bit, but it was fine because I was listening to an audio book and I was up to a really good bit.’

Flipping the negatives

But what about others? What about all those external things that happen when you’re having ‘one of those days’? From a paper cut to a miserable boss, it all adds up. Well fear not, there is a way of Flipping those negatives into positives. Introducing . . .

Bullshit Bingo

But now there’s a fun way to deal with other people’s negativity and those annoying things that always seem to happen to you. It’s called Bullshit Bingo!

The rules are simple. Copy the bingo card overleaf and keep it handy. Whenever you spot a behaviour, hear the word or phrase (shown in speech bubbles) or one of the silly things happens to you, just cross it off your card.

It’s a welcome distraction when you play it on your own but it’s particularly good when you play it with colleagues. You could even make your own cards with your company classics.

You could have a prize for a line or for the first to get the four corners. Either way it Flips the negatives and in turn helps you to have a better day.

Break the spell

I had a work colleague who believed she was unlucky. She would frequently use the expression, ‘Well that’s just my luck’. At our Christmas lunch we were all handed a lottery scratch card by a work mate. You can you guess what she said, ‘I’ll not win, I don’t win anything’.

What happened next was brilliant. As she scratched off the silver panel it revealed that she’d won £2,500! She couldn’t believe it. She was ecstatic for a few seconds then said, ‘Watch me lose the ticket before I can get the money’. At this point the guy who gave us the scratch cards suggested she read the back to see how to claim. Hers said:

We are sorry to inform you that this is a fake scratch card. It’s just for fun and has no monetary value. Someone has stitched you up. Smile!

It was a brilliant joke, but her reaction after reading the back of the card was no surprise. ‘I knew I hadn’t won, nothing good happens to me,’ she said, before giving the joker an almighty slap.

Here’s the rub. Just for a moment, even though it was fake, she felt like a winner. Could you? I know you probably won’t win the lottery and perhaps you sometimes do have a spot of bad luck, but who does it benefit when you keep saying you are ‘unlucky’ or ‘it always happens to me’?

So my challenge to you is to break the spell.

Going home

OK, so work, college, school, etc. wasn’t as good as it could have been. How long do you want to keep on living it? The rest of the day, week or month? Isn’t it true that when you’ve had a ‘hell of a day’ you want other people to know about it too? I dare say when you are having one of those days your nearest and dearest get to hear about it as soon as you get home. And woe betide them if they dare to be having a good day! It may be human nature but who does it serve? Yes, many people feel better after a good rant. We tell people to ‘get it off your chest’. So here’s a way you can enjoy a good moan but then move on and enjoy the rest of your day.

The 60-second rant

Rather than going on and on, blow by blow about your terrible day and endless problems, ask someone close for permission to have a 60-second rant. If they agree, then start the timer and go for it. Get it all out. Bitch, moan, say what’s wrong and put some real effort into it. But just for 60 seconds.

You’ll notice two things. First of all it can be difficult to complete a full 60 seconds of full-on ranting. Secondly, once it’s out in a controlled way you’ll feel great and it’s easier to move towards a positive.

Become a futurist

A great question to consider when you’re having ‘one of those days’ is how you will feel about it in the future. Think of the issues you have now and ask yourself, ‘How will I feel about this one day from now?’ If it still feels bad then ask, ‘How will I feel about this one week from now?’ And if it still feels bad then ask, ‘How will I feel about this one month from now?’

Still feeling bad? OK, you can stretch this to a year or even ten years. The point is time will be a great healer, so it’s good to let the thought of a bit of healing time help you now.

Spirals

I’ve been teaching people how to be successful at taking tests and exams for 15 years. Every time I work with someone the same challenges keep on occurring. The main one is that once they have trouble understanding something or make a mistake, they just keep fretting about it. By doing this, their focus dilutes and unnecessary worry sets in. This leads to more mistakes and more worry. This is called a negative spiral. Once you start on a negative spiral the only way is down. Now look at the flip side. Imagine you have an exam paper in front of you and you know the answers to the first two questions. Yes, your revision has paid off! The first part of the test is going brilliantly. Now how do you feel? The positive spiral is in place and the only way is up!

Your brilliant brain releases different chemicals and connects in a different way when you are feeling positive as opposed to when you are feeling negative. The reason these patterns are called spirals is that all the actions and feelings are connected. If you don’t interrupt the pattern you will continue to go further down (or up).

And that’s the trick. If you should find yourself heading down a negative spiral it’s vital you interrupt the pattern. If you find yourself on an upward spiral – keep it going!

You can interrupt these negative patterns in many ways. Here are a few to get you started.

• Stand up and move.
• Smile for no reason at all.
• Talk to the most positive person you know (don’t rant).
• Have a copy of this book with you and read a few pages.
• Watch a funny YouTube video.
• Remember who benefits from what you do.

Each of these simple tools can be used to interrupt your descent into a negative spiral, but there is one technique which is guaranteed to get you out of that rut and feeling great.

The grateful list

This is a timeless classic which involves you using a bit of Flip It thinking but more importantly unleashes a desire to find what’s right. And it’s a perfect way to end the day – a good day or a bad day. It’s all too easy to indulge in a ‘pity party’ and focus on what’s wrong. When it’s time to snap yourself out of it, take a pen, a piece of paper and five minutes out of your busy life and write the words ‘All the things I’m grateful for’ at the top of a page.

Now start your grateful list. Include everything you can, large and small. Here are 50 ideas to get you started.

Once you have exhausted your list, take a moment to review each item. Start with the words ‘I am grateful that/for . . .’, add an item from your list and consider what this means in your life right now.

Putting it all into practice

The more you practise the tools and techniques in this chapter when you don’t need them, the easier it will be to use them when you do. Think about it like training for a race. Most of the work is done well before the starting pistol fires, but when it does you’re ready for action. Also by practising the ideas when you don’t need them you’ll find you have less of ‘those days’ when you do need to use them. Good, eh?

You’ve almost finished Flip It, but there are a few loose ends I need to tie up with you. So that’s why we’re going to finish this book with . . .