9

Five Enemies of Your Point

Even if you master all of these simple, smart, and practical tips, you may still run into some obstacles when you try to deliver your point. We already talked about what to do if someone tries to drag you off your point, but here are some other less-obvious challenges, many of which come directly from you.

Enemy #1: “And”

We’ve all heard that “less is more”—meaning that concise communications have greater impact. But we should also take to heart the idea that “more is less”—meaning that when we add words, we’re actually subtracting power from our points.

This might seem counterintuitive. After all, aren’t points like houses—increasing in value when we add extensions? Following that idea, many communicators deploy the seemingly innocent word “and” to attach multiple ideas to single points.

The problem is, with each additional “and,” you’re diluting the power of your point by giving the audience other options to consider.

Look at how I started this chapter’s introduction:

Even if you master all of these simple, smart, and practical tips . . .

Did you retain the meaning behind all of those adjectives equally? Did you retain the meaning behind any of them for long?

What if I had written the following line instead?

Even if you master all of these practical tips . . .

Here I’ve given your mind a single idea to process, and chances are it’ll stick better.

Now see how the “and” affects a more substantial point. Compare the following two lines:

This approach will elevate and enhance our ability to be successful and save lives.

This approach will elevate our ability to save lives.

To my eyes and ears, the second example is much more instantly engaging .  .  . and this point never needed “enhance” and “successful” in the first place.

In Chapter 2, I called this problem split ends, but here I want to focus on how to spot them. It all comes down to the word and. Give all of your prepared speeches and reports the “And” Test by asking yourself these two questions each time: Do I need all of these qualifiers? What do I gain and lose by using only the strongest one? Chances are, by dropping extra “ands,” you’ll gain more than you lose.

This doesn’t mean you have to remove all of your “ands,” but this test will also help kick out weaker adjectives (badjectives), making your point more striking and memorable as a result.

Enemy #2: Nonsense Words

In Chapter 7, I referred to nonsense words, and it’s worth underscoring them here as a clear enemy of your point. Obviously, you want to be making sense, not nonsense. And these words typically fall into the category of nonsense:

Umm

Ah

So

In Toastmasters International, a well-known nonprofit public speaking educational organization, a member assigned the role of “Ah Counter” is charged with the responsibility of literally counting the number of times a speaker utters one of these crutch words.

Although it’s important to know how often you use nonsensical crutches—and especially to know what your crutch words are—knowing doesn’t always put you on the path to correcting. It’s hard to stop doing something, even when you know it’s wrong. (I’m thinking of chocolate cake right now. You?)

What you need is something to replace that destructive activity. In this case, the appropriate replacement is the pause. Your goal is to train yourself to sense when a nonsense word is coming and employ a pause instead.

As I mentioned in Chapter 7, a pause is one of your best allies because it creates time for you to plan what to say, ensuring that your next words make sense, not nonsense.

Enemy #3: All Apologies

One of the few “nevers” I share in workshops is never apologize or even say “excuse me.” The problem with public apologies is that they’re like a big neon sign around your neck that says, “I messed up.” Audiences remember apologies, and the words alone can do serious damage to the credibility you’ve built up to that point.

Remember that by sharing your valuable points you’re doing your audience a favor; your audience is not doing you a favor. So even if you have a word bobble, a cough, a skipped page, or a hiccup, there’s no need to apologize or be excused. Just move on. If necessary, make a correction without an apology:

We had a 35 percent success rate—actually, a 75 percent success rate.

In a related “never,” never say how nervous, unprepared, or intimidated you might be. You may be feeling these things, but don’t reveal them, because blurted admissions like these also decimate your credibility.

Consider “I’m nervous” to be code for “I’m not a professional.” If you’re nervous, just keep plowing through, knowing that it’s the delivery of your point that matters, not the impression you’re making personally.

Enemy #4: Speed

Speed kills . . . points. What many speakers don’t realize is it takes much longer for an audience to hear and process a point than it takes for them to say it. As a result—especially for fast-talkers like me—audiences have trouble retaining information merely because they don’t have enough time to digest it. Fast talkers’ mouths are typically running ahead of their minds. This robs the speaker of valuable point-construction time. Ideally, the situation is reversed—your mind is way ahead of your mouth, setting up words and ideas like a volleyball to be spiked moments later.

If you’re a fast talker, it won’t help for me to simply say, “Follow the speed limit.” Speed is hard to control, but brakes are not. In this case, your brakes are volume and pausing. Raising your volume requires more breath, making it difficult to speak quickly. And inserting pauses will break up your pace, giving you critical milliseconds to self-correct and plan your points.

Something I often tell my public speaking students is to consider all audiences hard-of-hearing and very, very dumb. This presumption forces a speaker to speak slowly, with greater volume, and with simpler language, which is always a good idea, regardless of your audience’s IQ.

Enemy #5: The Department of Homeland Insecurity

Take the number of people you know, subtract the number of in-laws you really like, and multiply it by a schma-billion. Now you have merely a fraction of the number of people frightened by the thought of giving a public presentation.

In many polls, people fear public speaking more than death. But let’s be clear—it’s not public speaking people fear; it’s public humiliation. So the solution isn’t avoiding public speaking at all costs; it’s avoiding the thought that you can make a complete fool of yourself.

Who tells you when you’re making a fool of yourself more often than any other person?

You.

It’s the voice inside your head that says

“You’re screwing up. . . .”

“Everyone thinks you’re boring. . . .”

“You sound silly. . . .”

“You look very, very nervous . . . and you should be!”

Because this voice comes from inside and sounds like you, you’re inclined to believe what it says. But that voice doesn’t come from your head; it comes from your internal Department of Homeland Insecurity (DHI)—where your insecurity lives.

And the person behind the voice? It’s the DHI’s spokesperson and chief lobbyist. Let’s call him Roy. One thing you should know about Roy: He’s a liar. He’s not just clumsy or mistaken; he’s a malicious liar. It’s Roy’s job to make you feel insecure, to make you second-guess yourself, and to sabotage every effort you make to convey confidence.

So why would you trust him?

I see Roy’s influence every time a client stops mid-sentence and sits down, or starts by saying, “This is not going to be very good . . .,” or “Okay, here goes nothing . . . ,” or ends with “Well, that sucked” and a scrunched face. Roy is a master at inducing self-sabotage, and he’ll lie to create that outcome.

Those butterflies you feel before giving a speech? They aren’t in your stomach; they’re in your head. And they didn’t just hatch there; they were planted. By Roy.

When people ask me how to overcome public speaking anxiety, I focus on three ideas, none of which involve murdering Roy.

1. Know your point. Anyone who doesn’t know his or her point should be nervous.

2. Know that the moment is not about you, or even your speech; it’s about your point. All you have to do is deliver it.

3. Practice out loud—not in your head or by mumbling. The key training is having your mouth and your brain collaborate on the conception and conveyance of a point. That can only happen if you’re actually using your mouth.

As I said earlier, the only way to know if you’ve successfully delivered your point is to approach someone in your audience afterward and ask, “Did you receive and understand my point?” That’s it.

All other sources—from Roy, the liar in your head, to the face in your mirror, to the supportive colleague who simply says “you did great!”—are useless in providing accurate assessments of your public speaking success.