Your Core Four — the starting point of your network

Who are your Core Four? These four personality types should be your starting point when building a network. We will expand further on the four categories in the next chapter when we look at the 12 key people you need. (The types are loosely based on the personality archetype work of psychologist Carl Jung.)

The Core Four (as shown in figure 5.1, overleaf) that you must have to start your strategic network are:

1. Promoter — makes noise about potential possibilities and inspires you to dream big (your fire)
2. Pit Crew — keeps you on track, nurtures you and prevents untoward emotions from getting the better of you (your water)
3. Teacher — helps you develop knowledge, wisdom and foresight (your air)
4. Butt-kicker — accelerates your journey, pushes you to do more and holds you accountable for your actions (your earth).

When you begin to create a strategic network, your aim should be to have one person in each of the four quadrants in the Nexus. This will ensure it remains balanced and diverse enough to enable you to achieve any kind of success.

Let's revisit the examples introduced at the beginning of this chapter and put them into their quadrants, as shown in figure 5.2.

So where do the individuals in your current network sit in the Core Four, and who is missing? To work this out, let's take a look at each of the four in more detail.

1. PROMOTER

The mind is not a vessel that needs filling, but wood that needs igniting.

Plutarch

A Promoter, or sponsor, is your own personal champion. They are with you, by your side, through thick or thin, never giving up on you, always dreaming big with you. Promoters pull you towards your future dreams, make a noise about potential opportunities, spend time with you to explore how you're going to achieve your goals, and inspire you to become more.

They put fire in your belly and belief in your mind. Their catch-cry is: ‘C'mon, let's turn the impossible into the possible … because you can, I know it.'

Promoters are positive. They cheer you on through the tough times and celebrate the good. They rave about you, make connections for you and open doors. They stretch your thinking to become more than you are or ever thought possible.

PUT SIMPLY, PROMOTERS BELIEVE IN YOU AND
THEY WANT TO SEE YOU SUCCEED SO THEY TELL
THE WORLD ABOUT YOU.

Your Promoter raves about you even when you're not in the room: ‘Hey, have you spoken to Jack? He would be great at that. I reckon you need to pull Jack in on that project. Let me introduce you to Jack — he's an expert in that area.' And if the conversation is not so positive, your promoter still has something to say: ‘I'm not sure I'd agree with what you are saying about Jack. Whenever I've worked with him, he has over-delivered and stayed totally committed. I would absolutely welcome him on my team anytime.'

But don't just take my word for it. According to research from the Center for Talent Innovation (a Manhattan-based think tank), people with Promoters (or sponsors) are 23 per cent more likely to move up in their career than those without them. In addition, a 2011 study from the Center for Work-Life Policy published by the Harvard Business Review found that active promotion of others can result in a 30 per cent increase in promotions, pay rises and projects for the person being sponsored.

Your Promoter always looks out for you. They invite you to join them at meetings, events and functions. They introduce you to people in their network and encourage you to connect and share value.

I have no doubt that my Promoters are absolutely there for me, and I will be forever grateful for this. They have played a crucial part in everything I have achieved so far, and they continue to cheer me on from the sidelines, encouraging me to do more, be more, live more.

Having a Promoter in your network can completely change the momentum of you, your career and your business. Everyone needs a Promoter. The question is, who is yours?

2. PIT CREW

Your Pit Crew keep you true and on track. They nurture you, ensure you are okay at all times and that your emotions aren't getting the better of you. They keep you connected with the present as much as with your future dreams.

Climbing the ladder of success can be a lonely task. Whether you are just starting out, working non-stop in a corporate environment, or pursuing your own entrepreneurial enterprise, the journey requires grit, determination and perseverance. We all experience days of frustration and disappointment, days when we have to face our fears, make tough decisions or calls, push past failures, recalibrate our reality and keep focused on opportunities that lie outside our comfort zone. Having the right crew to help you overcome these difficulties, keeping you mentally tough and balanced, is not just crucial — it's essential.

Captain Joseph Charles Plumb, Jr, aka Charlie Plumb, is a former US Navy fighter pilot and Vietnam POW turned author. He flew 74 successful combat missions over Vietnam, and it wasn't until his 75th flight that his aircraft was shot down. Plumb ejected and parachuted to the ground under fire. He was captured and spent 2103 days as a POW. Years later, he described how he was approached by a stranger in a Kansas City restaurant:

‘You're Captain Plumb.'

I looked up and I said, ‘Yes sir, I'm Captain Plumb.'

He said, ‘You flew jet fighters in Vietnam. You were on the aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. You were shot down. You parachuted into enemy hands and spent six years as a prisoner of war.'

I said, ‘How in the world did you know all that?'

He replied, 'Because, I packed your parachute '³

Who has your back? Who packs your proverbial parachute and looks out for you when you make the jump at those critical moments in your personal and professional life?

They may not share the spotlight with you, but they are absolutely riding shotgun alongside you. They go that extra mile, they look out for you mentally, physically and spiritually — because they care about you. They understand your dreams, goals and aspirations, and they encourage you to move forward while at the same time being very aware of where you are right now and what you have to focus on and deliver in the present.

Like a Formula One pit stop, your crew can make or break a race. They fuel your resilience, polish your tough exterior and keep you match-fit for survival and success. When the white flag is waved, you need to dig deep and find the determination to keep going. You need to remain strong and focused on your vision in the face of any challenges or slips along the way.

In her 2007 report ‘Grit: Perseverance and Passion for Long-Term Goals', American psychologist Angela Duckworth shares the story of cadets who join the US military academy at West Point and are put through their paces in the Beast Barracks initiative program. This program tests their physical, emotional and mental strength. Surprisingly, Duckworth found that it wasn't strength, smarts or leadership potential that defined success. Rather, it was the individual's grit, perseverance, determination and mental toughness.

In Duckworth's TED talk ‘The Key to Success? Grit', she says,

Grit is passion and perseverance for very long-term goals. Grit is having stamina. Grit is sticking with your future, day-in, day-out. Not just for the week, not just for the month, but for years. And working really hard to make that future a reality. Grit is living life like it's a marathon, not a sprint.

This describes your crew. In a nutshell, they add stamina — the stamina to run the marathon of your dreams, to navigate complexities and recover from setbacks.

YOUR PIT CREW HELP YOU LEARN FROM
MISTAKES AND KEEP PUSHING ON ANYWAY. THEY
CELEBRATE YOUR WINS, REMIND YOU OF YOUR
ACHIEVEMENTS AND KEEP IT REAL.

3. TEACHER

Experience is the only thing that brings knowledge, and the longer you are on earth the more experience you are sure to get.

L. Frank Baum, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

A life of continuous learning is essential to growth. But here's the thing: it's up to you to include in your core network a Teacher who can support you in this way. A Teacher expands your knowledge and pushes you to become better every single day. Successful people know this; that's why they have an insatiable desire and commitment to learn more, in more ways than one.

Many people don't invest in their own mastery. They live a life of stasis, thinking they know all they need to know. Some of them leave school, complete their apprenticeship, get their degree and then stop. They think that's where the learning ends, which couldn't be further from the truth — it's where it really begins! (But you know that. I don't have to convince you because you're reading this book about learning to build the right network.)

Learning doesn't just happen in the classroom. It's not about the letters that come after your name. It's about learning what you do well, how you can do it better and where you can find the Teacher who can help you. Teachers spark inspiration, they instil values, feed curiosity, help you look for answers.

In his book Rich Dad, Poor Dad, Robert Kiyosaki talks about his two dads — his ‘Poor Dad', who was stuck in a middle-class rut with limiting viewpoints on money, and his ‘Rich Dad', who was one of the wealthiest men in Hawaii. Kiyosaki chose to learn about managing money and the money mindset from his ‘Rich Dad', which is what he attributes his subsequent success to.

You need to have the right Teacher in your network. The right Teacher and guide stretches your thinking, challenges your ideas and encourages you to push further and keep learning, because they know that this constant curiosity creates real opportunity for growth, achievement and success.

Learning is a self-directed desire and a choice. You must choose to keep learning. You must choose the right Teacher in your network.

Harvard professor Linda Hill says, ‘You can't think of something new unless you are being pushed to think in new directions, and you can't do that unless you are engaging with people who have a different viewpoint.'

4. BUTT-KICKER

It is not only what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable.

Molière

Four years ago I set myself the target to triple the sales in my business, write a book and start a speaking career. Yes, they were lofty goals and I had no real idea how I was going to achieve them, and yes, I was scared. But I didn't just cower in the corner. I got off my butt and recruited a Butt-kicker who would (and did) make sure I delivered.

I was forced off the couch and out of my comfort zone and held accountable for my goals. My first book, From Me to We, was published by Wiley in January 2014 and I joined the speaker circuit in August that same year. My sales targets were achieved and my business has grown from strength to strength since. And now here I am the author of a second book, which was beyond my wildest dreams.

That absolutely could not have been possible if I had floundered around on my own in my pyjamas. Having goals and aspirations is one thing; actually accomplishing them is quite another.

We find a million and one excuses not to do what we say we're going to do. We suffer from ‘paralysis by analysis'. Or, if you are anything like me, you get attracted by the shiny stuff — a better idea, a more exciting plan — which whisks you off track and zaps your time, energy and focus into the ether. As Lewis Carroll says, ‘Any road will get you there, if you don't know where you are going.'

Cue Butt-kicker please!

YOU NEED A BUTT-KICKER TO WHIP YOU INTO
SHAPE AND HELP KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE
PRIZE. THEY ARE YOUR WAKE-UP CALL, YOUR
‘SERIOUSLY? JUST GET ON WITH IT'.

Butt-kickers are masters of delivery. They listen to your dreams and accelerate your goals by making sure you stick to them. They hold you accountable for your actions and decisions, and ensure you do what you say you are going to do — and then some. Your Butt-kicker is equivalent to your personal trainer at the gym. They count your push-ups and pull-ups, and they always make you do one extra for good measure.

Linda Galindo, author of The 85% Solution: How Personal Accountability Guarantees Success, believes Butt-kickers are our secret weapon to success. ‘Working with a partner prevents the ready-fire-aim approach that a lot of entrepreneurs use.'

In a survey of CEOs, the Harvard Business Review found that those with formal butt-kicking, mentoring arrangements felt certain their company performance had improved as a result. Most CEOs reported making better decisions (69 per cent) and improving how they fulfilled stakeholder expectations (76 per cent).

It's clear that kicking your butt ensures you avoid procrastination. Butt-kickers help you grow through guidance, mentoring, setting goals and ensuring you deliver on your commitments.

Many people wrongly assume that their Butt-kicker is their boss (or their mum). Sure, your boss may drive you to manage your workload, personal development and career, or even to clean up your desk. Sometimes they may also feel like an unwelcome monkey on your back. But your boss is not your Butt-kicker unless they're encouraging you along the path towards your future goals. A true Butt-kicker has your back — they're not riding on it.

Take, for example, this book. It simply would not have happened without a Butt-kicker. I had a goal, sure, and a clear message I wanted to share. My publisher set the deadline, yes, but that deadline would not have been reached if I had not engaged my own personal Butt-kicker — my editor (thanks, Kelly!) — who held me accountable for that delivery date. I needed to be pushed, motivated and held responsible for weekly phone calls and actions. I had honest and truthful feedback on the content at every step, and advice on how to craft it to be clear, concise and compelling.

The result? You're reading it right now.

What did you discover?

The idea of this exercise is to look at your list in chapter 4 and allocate each individual in your network to one of the four personality types.

Did you find you already have a Promoter? What about a Pit Crew, Teacher or Butt-kicker? More importantly, who is currently missing from your network?

When I run this exercise with clients and at workshops, most people discover that they have only two of the quadrants covered. In fact, I don't think I've ever had anyone declare confidently that they had all four ticked off.

Most of your connections now probably fall into your Pit Crew and one of the other Core Four categories. It's likely you have a lot of personal connections in your network at the moment, which is why you'll usually find at least one Pit Crew member.

This exercise raises a lot of questions for people. You'll probably find yourself thinking things like:

• I don't have anyone I can rely on for XYZ.
• I don't have anyone to kick my butt.
• Should I be looking outside of my industry?
• Is it wrong for me to feel like I think differently from everyone else around me?
• I don't have anyone I look up to.
• I've got lots of friends but no-one who really does XYZ.
• I could put so and so in this quadrant, but they could fit into this quadrant as well.
• Is it okay to assign one person to two roles?

These are all great questions and observations! They mean you're really starting to analyse and think carefully, strategically even, about your network.

Now you're starting to think about the support you need, you may also begin to question yourself, perhaps feeling like you are being selfish or self-centred because you don't feel like you have the right support around you.

CLARIFYING THE PURPOSE OF YOUR
RELATIONSHIPS IS ABSOLUTELY NOT SELFISH.
I'M NOT ASKING YOU TO DROP ANY FRIENDS OR
FAMILY, BUT RATHER TO ASSESS THE MUTUAL
VALUE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIPS.

This also means being decisive and picking one quadrant for one person, even if you feel like that person could fill two roles. Time is precious for everyone, so get clear, get focused and decide on one role per person.

You will also find that particular people play different roles at different times in your life. That is why assessing and reassessing your network is a constantly evolving process. For example, my Butt-kicker from four years ago has now become my Teacher. Your network doesn't just become static once you have built it. It's a living, breathing thing that will continue to change as you and your needs and goals change.

You must own your own network and be strategic about its growth — that's the only thing that stays the same.

How to find your Core Four

So, your first priority will be to find people in your network who fill all four roles. To do this, you'll need to get clear on what you're looking for and why. What are your current goals and aspirations? Who can help you achieve them? Who do you need to help promote you, teach you, support you or just plain kick your butt?

Is there anyone around you who could fill the gap if you connected with them and asked? Think about people you trust, people you know from LinkedIn, who live outside your department, your company, even your industry.

Are there individuals who inspire you from afar? Start following them online, reading their stuff and absorbing their work before you attempt to connect with them.

Often finding the people who are missing from your network really is as simple as thinking about who you know and then connecting with them to see if they can help you in some way.

This is not about connecting and asking people if they can be ‘in your network'. Rather, you need to think about what you can offer someone and what value they can offer you in exchange.

We'll explore this in more detail in part III. It's really important you understand this properly before you skip ahead and just start connecting with people you think can help you, so I'd encourage you to keep reading until you're ready.

But before you make any attempts to connect, let's expand on your Core Four and meet the 12 key people and personalities who will really accelerate your success.