Communicate Better

The quality of your communication can be assessed by the response to what you have said. If communication is poor, then you cannot expect people to get the point.

Top Ten Tips for Talking

There are some simple rules to follow, whether you are talking to one person or a group.

• You should know what you want to say.

• You should believe in your message.

• You should know what the listener wants to hear. It is also important to:

• Be aware of the key messages and outcomes.

• Avoid jargon.

• Use gestures and make eye contact.

• Use pace, pause, volume, speed, and emphasis.

• Ask questions.

• Inject some humour.

• Use stories and anecdotes.

In a business presentation, you could use music, flip charts, and other props to make it more memorable. Make sure you get the pre-frame (the summary of what you’re going to talk about) right.

If it’s appropriate, inject some fun into your presentation. It will help people remember you next time.

Be Crystal Clear

Lack of clarity is the main obstacle to effective communication. Even if you think that you have put your point across properly, if your audience is confused, it won’t know what to make of what you have just shared.

It is essential to deliver the message to your target audience in their language. This is not about speaking French or Italian, but about using words and examples the listener can relate to.

We all have preferred ways of giving and receiving information. The three most common are visual, auditory, and kinaesthetic. Everyday examples of these are:

• Visual – “If you look at this next slide, you’ll be able to see the big picture.”

• Auditory – “You obviously can’t hear what I’m saying; I thought that you liked the sound of this.”

• Kinaesthetic – “I sense that you’re not sure about this.”

Common Figures of Speech

Visual (seeing)

• Beyond a shadow of a doubt

• Bird’s-eye view

• Can’t see it

• Eye to eye

• In light of

• Mind’s eye

• Paint a picture

• Picture this

• Shed some light on

• Sight for sore eyes

• For your eyes only

• See the big picture

• Seeing is believing

Auditory (hearing)

• Can’t hear myself think

• Clear as a bell

• Hold your tongue

• Loud and clear

• Slip of the tongue

• Sounds good

• That doesn’t sound right

• Really off beat

• It’s screaming out for a solution

• I hear what you say

• Music to my ears

Kinaesthetic

• He’s a bit slippery

• This is weighing me down

• I’m feeling low

• I sense you’re not happy

• I’ve got a gut feeling

• I’m immersed in this game

• This band is really hot

• The pressure’s on

• He’s on fire

• She’s got the world on her shoulders

Discover the Referencing

Whether someone is internally or externally referenced is another useful thing to be aware of when you are talking to them or giving them feedback. Internally referenced people will have an opinion about themselves and how well they are doing at a task. They will probably have strong inner guidance, and will be less inclined to rely on feedback from others.

• An internally referenced person willingly answers questions about how she thinks she has performed a task, what has worked well, and where she thinks she can improve.

• She will not respond well to being told what other people think of her performance. Even if the feedback is positive, she’ll be inclined to think you are just trying to make her feel good.

Externally referenced people rely more on feedback from others to assure them of their performance. They can fall into the trap of becoming dependent on constant feedback to make them feel better.

• An externally referenced person will want to hear what others think about her performance.

• She will feel uncomfortable if asked to assess her performance due to her concern about what others think.

Get the Pre-Frame Right

Whether you are going to deliver some difficult feedback to a team member or are about to speak at a conference, pre-framing is critical to achieving your desired outcome. The pre-frame is a summary of what you are going to talk about. It sets the scene so that everyone knows where you are going and may include some signposts to show how you are going to get there. Scene-setting makes people feel more comfortable as they know where you are going. Pre-framing also provides you with a structure for your presentation or feedback so that you are clear about what you are going to say and what your key messages are.

Enhance Your Interactions

The great presenters and communicators in all walks of life offer clues about how to get your message across well. A certain newscaster or comedian might have a style or mannerism that you can draw on. You can also look for tips in books. If you apply the win, learn, change strategy (geared at finding out what were your wins, learns from a project or event and then applying any changes to help you achieve a better outcome next time) and write down quotes, you can try them out at the next opportunity.

Tip

Make sure that you set aside enough time to pre-frame. Focusing on the outcome you want will help you to get the pre-frame right.

5 Minute Fix

At the next team meeting, pay attention to the language being used by each individual.

• List their names and check whether they are internally or externally referenced.

• Give them a V = Visual, A = Auditory, or K = Kinaesthetic depending on the words they use.

Techniques to Practise

Try taking different perceptual positions to help you think through potential obstacles to a great working relationship.

Your ability to do this will improve the more you use this visualization technique.

• If you are going to speak at a conference, learn to look at different positions from all perspectives so that you will be able to plan your presentation more effectively.

• Rehearse your speech, imagining your own viewpoint.

• Then sit in the auditorium and visualize yourself on stage through a delegate’s eyes.

• Finally, observe the whole room from a third position above the stage and visualize the audience’s enthusiastic response to you.