As I stated near the beginning of this book, one of the initial angles discussed was to write it as a “How To” book. That just didn't feel right to me, I would've been more comfortable writing a “How Not To” book. (Actually, put a pin in that idea for later.) On a conference call with the publishers, I expressed to them that I don't know “how to,” but I do know “how I do,” and that works for me. Honestly, I'm not the type of person who feels the need to tell anyone how to do anything. But, if you want to brainstorm and figure something out, I'm your guy.

The following are a few beliefs that I do my best to adhere to as a parent, partner, and person. I also, on a daily basis, try to implore my children to follow them as well. But, I've found the best way to do that is by showing them, not telling them. This is “How I Do”:

1. HONESTY: Pretty obvious one, but any of us who have been to emotional hell and back, eventually come to the conclusion that the only and best way to live your life is to be completely honest. To live your life any other way is a waste of precious energy. First and foremost, you must be 100 percent with yourself. None of this 99 percent b.s., because, as we all know, that rapidly falls to 50 percent, then you're off the rails. As a parent, if you're not being honest with yourself, then you're not being honest with your kids and/or your significant other. Plus, when you're honest, you never have to remember anything. “Babe, it's your birthday? Oh damn, I forgot…no seriously, I'm being honest.” Okay, bad example, but you know what I mean. Make your life easier and start by being true to you first.
2. CHECK YOURSELF: Hot on the heels of honesty, I've found this one to be a must and is, without a doubt, the first thing I do prior to addressing any situation. No matter what type of conflict I may be dealing with, the first person I always check, before any type of rebuttal, is myself. “How did this come about?” “Am I the one causing the conflict?” “Did I do something, whether intentionally or unintentionally, to get it to this point?” Once you can HONESTLY check yourself in any type of situation, then you can move forward toward a resolution.
3. POSITIVITY: Sounds simple, but as many of you can relate to on certain days, it's not always easy to be Positive Guy. I work very hard to be a “glass-half-full” person, but some days I'm more of a “I'm just happy I've got a glass” kind of guy. I'll be the first to tell you that, by the day's end, Carolina and the kids are tired of me eavesdropping on conversations only to randomly yell “positivity!” from the other side of the house, just in case I feel they're getting a bit off track. Annoying? Yes, positively annoying. But it's 100 percent better than the alternative. Actually, if we did a reality show from our house, people who watched would make a drinking game out of it. “Dude, Dan just said ‘positivity' again, so you need to chug another Zima!”
4. ADMIT WHEN YOU'RE WRONG: This is one of the most important things I've learned to do as a parent. When I screw up, I take accountability, from the smallest things to the largest. If it's on me, I step up. “My bad, guys.” “I was wrong.” “That's my fault.” “I'll do my best to make sure that doesn't happen again.” “I shouldn't have worn the red leather pants to Christmas mass.” However you want to say it, just say it. It's important for me as a father to be strong enough to admit when I'm wrong, but even more important for the kids to hear it from me. When there's accountability for the head of a household, then everyone else understands that it's an even playing field. It should never be about “me,” it should always be about “us” as a family.
5. LIVE IN THE MOMENT: I know I wrote about this before, but to me it's extremely important to encourage my children to do this as well. To appreciate all that life is teaching us as it occurs, the good as well as the bad. If they absorb as much as they can now, they'll begin to appreciate how beautiful life actually is at a much earlier age. Although, it's not always the easiest concept to sell my daughter the day of an AP Euro History exam.
6. LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES: Sounds simple, but so many of us don't do this, and we repeatedly find ourselves in the same unfortunate situations. The amount of what I've learned about life from my successes is not even close to what I've learned from my mistakes. So, this has been very important for me to get my children to embrace. There's a reason everything happens. Why not be open and aware as to why it does? Learn from what the mistake was, the consequences of it, and do your best to not repeat it. Bad example: While shooting an episode of MTV Sports with Dean Cain and NFL Hall of Fame Linebacker and extremely huge man Junior Seau, I dared Junior to slap me in the face when the cameras started rolling. He happily obliged, split my lip on camera, and the only thing I could hear through the intense ringing in my ear was Dean giggling like a six-year-old girl who just heard Elmo fart. Since that day, I've made it a point not to dare any linebackers to slap me in the face. Lesson learned; further similar mistakes avoided.
7. EARMUFFS: If there's one thing I've learned from my life in general thanks to working in Hollywood, it's to not listen to negative things people say about you. Again, something that is much easier said than done, especially when you've got critics writing things like “The fact that Dan Cortese still works is proof that the devil keeps his promises.” (Gotta admit, I thought that one was pretty creative.) But it becomes even more difficult when you're trying to get your children to follow this mantra as well. Then add social media bullies into the mix and the negativity that fills the air seems to outweigh the positivity on a daily basis. Sadly, this has become our reality in the world today. You cannot allow someone else's words or actions to control your emotions. Ultimate strength is found in silence, and in that silence you not only control yourself but also the negativity thrust upon you. So shhhhhh…
8. ME FIRST: One thing that I'm adamant about as a father is having an “open door” policy when it comes to the kids having to deal with certain life situations they may happen to find themselves in. I always tell them, no matter how bad it seems, ALWAYS come to me first, be honest with me about what happened and let's figure everything out together. No matter what they did, I'd be more upset if they didn't come to me for guidance than I would for whatever it was that occurred.
9. WHO'S HOUSE? FUN HOUSE: We don't go to parties; the party comes to us. This is one of the most important things to me in life. I didn't have a lot growing up, but the one thing we did have in our house was F-U-N. This is a mandatory requirement at Casa Cortese. It's not just about our rap battles, roast battles, dance parties, or even the disco lights in the kitchen. We could be cooking dinner, doing homework, or just chillin' on the couch…no matter what the circumstance, we always have FUN in our house. I've found that this is easily achieved when you follow numbers 1 through 8. Always remember, laughter is the fuel for a long life.