At the Contenders camp we knew that we were very close to merge, but in Survivor there is nothing predictable, so we were unsure if we had one or two more days.

I had played my idol the night before, even though it turned out I didn’t need to because my name was not written down. I still believed it was the right thing to do: my idol power expired after merge, so I only had two more Tribals to play it. I’d decided that if Harry played an idol then I would play mine, since with his votes cancelled out the odds of me going home was significantly higher.

Going into the last challenge I was unprotected. I have to say it was very nice to have that little necklace in my bag, even if it was the skull of a dead animal!

We arrived at another immunity challenge. We had to jump across logs that stood out of the ground, from half a metre to about 1.5 metres in height — which was a long way to fall. The distance was such that you had to jump from log to log. The million ways I could hurt myself on this challenge ran through my head. My fear was nothing compared to Pia’s, who being only five-foot-two, was really nervous about how to get across without serious injury.

With these challenges it is just as much a mental game as a physical one. Pia told herself that it was nearly impossible, so it became impossible. Pia fell 10 times until she sprang across the poles like the dancer that she is.

We all made it across but we were miles behind. The next part of the challenge was the easy part — a simple swing across a small gap — when it all went pear-shaped.

When it was Rosco’s turn, he swung and suddenly the rope somehow detached from the top. We weren’t sure if it broke or the rope untied, but the result was the same: Rosco was in a ditch with some serious damage to his foot. This was devastating to me. When you are having this experience, you know it’s a game but that doesn’t take away the feelings and relationships that have evolved with your teammates.

When it was freezing at night, Rosco would be the one to give you his jumper. He was the one who did the fire, and he never ever stopped working. He was the one who made us laugh and would not take anything seriously. He made the camp fun. When he got injured it was the first time in the whole experience that I actually cried. I cried tears of frustration and anger — most of all, I was going to miss him if he had to leave. We did not know at the time if the injury was serious enough for Rosco to go home; we had to keep playing and prepare for who to vote off.

Harry had proven that he could find idols. Even though we thought the chances of him finding another idol was slim, if anyone could, it would be Harry. So even though logic said Harry should go home, we needed to split the vote. And we knew that whoever’s name was written down, they would never trust us again after the merge.

Rosco, Abbey and Pia were my first alliance, and we’d had to fight our way to get where we were. Simon was part of the original sporting alliance and, even though I loved Simon and wanted him on my team, there was no way I could put down the name of any of my original alliance members.

When Casey was there, she had told us that Shaun was trying to get Simon to go over to his side and that Simon told him that he would consider it post merge. We also knew that if we put Simon’s name down as a split vote then he would know that he was on the bottom of the alliance and would definitely go over to Shaun at merge. Harry and Shaun were enemies, so we thought Harry could be a number for us at merge and would be less likely to move to Shaun’s team than Simon.

Pia and I agreed, and Abbey could see that we had no other choice. We just had to talk to Rosco when he came back from getting his foot treated. We were not entirely certain which way he would go. Sadly, and with great frustration for all of us (but fortunately for Simon), Rosco did not return to the game.

With the new morning also came a major milestone in the game: MERGE!

In Survivor there were a number of milestones that I had wanted to achieve:

1. Not being the first voted out.
2. Making it to the tribe swap.
3. Making it to the merge.

The next milestone would be making the top three. After all the close calls and crazy challenges, I was thrilled we made the merge, especially considering Pia was nearly voted out day one and I was in the same position on day three.

We were all rapt to make this step, but I was not prepared for how crazy it got. I am a really logical person and my superpower is making complicated things simple. For me and my team, getting to the top five was simple if we kept our heads and kept to the plan. But before we were able to merge and go back to our original camp, we had one more challenge to face.

I always laugh when people say to me, ‘Oh they must give you handouts or something for comfort.’ This is so far from the truth, even to a point that they make it harder for you. But we all knew what we signed up for. An example of this raw torture was the next reward challenge: we each had to hold a bag that was 5 per cent of our body weight over our head. I was disappearing from weight loss so my bag was relatively light, but it was still bloody heavy to me. We simply had to drop the bag if we wanted a temptation item. What viewers didn’t know is that 24 hours before this challenge both tribes, who were already very hungry, ran out of food. Having a food challenge was smart television as we were all highly motivated to eat. Daisy proved to be incredibly strong on this challenge, and her reward was a box with all the temptation items in it as well as an idol.

After the reward challenge finished I was so happy to be walking back to my old camp as part of the merged tribe; it felt like coming home. Our original tribe was very practical; we had made a good shelter and camp. The other camp was not as good and it was ridiculously windy on that side of the island.

Here we were, six of the original Champions and six of the original Contenders. From the Champions we had Pia, Abbey, Simon, David, Luke and myself. On the Contenders tribe we had Shaun, John Eastoe, Daisy Richardson, Baden, Andy Meldrum and Harry. It was a great effort by all, and my alliance had only lost Rosco (from an injury, not Tribal Council). To come from 11 Contenders and seven Champions when the teams were re-shuffled to six of each was a great start to the merge.

Shaun, rightly so, was concerned about the even numbers. He was talking about sticking strong with his Contenders, even if it meant drawing rocks. (This is what happens if a vote is tied; the people who have been voted for draw rocks randomly from a bag to decide who goes home.)

The Champions were not in a great shape. Shaun had just won the immunity challenge and we were convinced that Daisy had an idol from her reward, which put them in a strong position to tilt the scales to the Contenders’ side.

Luckily for the Champions everyone disliked Andy, and we managed to convince them that getting rid of a Contender was a good idea. Luke promised Shaun that they would even out the numbers at a later date. This never happened and the Champions maintained a strong team for the next few votes. We were not going to give away our advantage. The reality was that with Andy gone the Champions were, for the first time, in the majority.

When you make the merge, everyone goes a little crazy. This was made clear on ‘the merge night’ episode. People were anxious to make big moves, even if it was to the detriment of their own game.

The immunity challenge was up next and David did an amazing job beating Shaun. Finally, we had a free shot at taking Shaun out — then the Survivor gods threw in yet another twist. Instead of going back to camp, they set up three camp fires around which we could talk. This was ingenious on their part as it caused confusion, doubt and fear. The only one standing in the same spot was David, with the immunity necklace around his neck.

It was when we were at the end fire that Shaun threw out the idea of voting for Luke. Simon was keen for a scalp, as was Pia. Suddenly I found myself agreeing to a vote of six people voting out Luke. At that moment no-one had time to think things through; I hate making calls on the run, as it generally makes for bad decision making.

Things moved very quickly after that and as soon as we said yes to voting out Luke, we were all separated again. There was no time to sort out the mess I had just made for myself.

The decision to vote out Luke was stupid. First, Luke was more likely to vote with me than Shaun going forward, and second, Abbey did not know the plan so she would probably flip to another alliance and would never trust us going forward. Meaning Simon, Pia and I would go from the top four of the Champion alliance to the bottom three of the Contenders. Third and most important, we might never get another shot at Shaun as he was the ‘challenge beast’.

Since we went straight to Tribal, I had to convince Simon and Pia publicly, at Tribal, that voting for Luke over Shaun was a seriously bad idea. Luckily they listened and Shaun became the first member of the jury.

A note on Shaun: he is a great player and was a good mix of brain and muscle. When he was around, the Contenders listened to him; he could rally them. Without him they were an easier target. I enjoyed playing with Shaun and anyone would agree that he really is a super nice guy.

The blindside

With Shaun’s departure, all of us thought we had a bit more of a chance in the challenges.

Pia and I were as close as ever, with Abbey, Luke, David and Simon as our strong alliance. This left Daisy, Baden and Harry as the final Contenders. We did not trust David but he was still a number … for now.

The next reward challenge was to win a car. It was an endurance challenge: we had to stand between two poles on tiny wooden pegs, and it was torture on the feet. I’d lasted one hour but, looking over at Abbey, I thought she did not look like she was going anywhere. I just could not take it any longer, so off I went to sit next to Pia.

Pia and I watched Abbey and were so impressed by her fortitude, her mental and physical strength, that Pia leaned over to me and said: ‘She has to go.’

I always thought that Pia was a more ruthless player than me. I was more methodical; I would think ahead on the moves and try my hardest to execute them in a way that we always had the majority. It had worked for us to this point.

At this stage Abbey was a trusted ally and I was not ready to get rid of her, but Pia was correct: Abbey was a threat that we needed to consider voting out — later.

A side note on Pia — she is the best social player on Survivor . Pia has incredible intuition about people and was always accurate in her assumptions, to the point that if she said something was wrong, I simply took it as fact.

Abbey won the car, and off she went with David and John for the reward. The purpose of the rewards was to separate the tribe, so each group gets to plot and plan against the other. I was happy that there were no major changes in the dynamics of the group when they returned.

For the next challenge we had to dig into designated areas to find a set of balls in a bag. The balls were then used to complete a balance puzzle. Digging was intense and exhausting.

You have to remember that in Fiji the challenges were often as rough as they can get — a heck of a lot tougher than what you see on TV. For example, as I was digging my holes, I had to navigate additional obstacles of barbed wire, poles and rocks. This is one of the things I love about Survivor: it is raw and real, with no apologies for what you have to endure. Unfortunately, I did not find my balls and Luke took home the necklace.

This was our chance to blindside David. Luke had told me and Pia that David was gunning for us (although Luke may have made this up). We discovered earlier that David was lying about pretty much everything, so we could no longer trust him. If we didn’t get him out now he would come for us — and soon.

At this stage of the game, even if David had gone, we still had the majority. We had a strong suspicion that David had an idol so we needed him to feel as secure as possible so he wouldn’t play it. David was a confidence player and we needed to make him feel loved and adored. Our plan was to keep the votes tight so that only the people who had to know would know. The problem we found was that everyone wanted David out. He was simply too disruptive and unpredictable, always wanting to make big moves. He was also a challenge beast. All of this combined made everyone feel like it could be any one of us at any time.

Tribal Council came and David was blindsided, going home with his very expensive necklace. I’d also like to note here that this was another near miss for Harry. All David had to do was play his idol and Harry would have gone home. Once again, the cockroach survived another onslaught!

The ‘John vote’ at the next Tribal Council was the one none of us expected. We thought it was simple: it was time for Harry or Daisy to go home. The immunity challenge was the plank: we had to balance over water with our feet on one plank and our hands on another, in a downward dog yoga position. This was the first challenge that I saw and thought I’ve got this . The strongest part of my body is my abs, thanks to over 12 years of yoga. Within seconds, however, I discovered this challenge was not about abs at all — it was all about shoulders. My shoulders are strong, but not like my abs; I came up third this time, and Simon took home the necklace.

There was not too much stress back at camp: the Champions knew the plan and we were about to execute it. Until Pia and Luke saw Daisy find an idol. With Harry in Daisy’s ear we thought there was a chance that if they played it right, one of the Champions would go home.

The only thing we could do was put it on the person it would be most unlikely for Daisy to play the idol for: John. This is what Survivor does: your best-laid plans are often spoilt by the Survivor gods. John ended up joining the boys in Jury Villa.

The day everything changed

When we rolled up to the reward challenge the next day, I was stoked. It was the pole challenge, which was made for me. Basically, it’s vertical Twister on poles, and I scored the perfect partner in Simon.

I am quite lanky and my toes are the same. I’ve always been able to use my toes to pick things up and they’re quite flexible. To pick out a peg with my toes was pretty easy for me, so this challenge was a cinch. Who would have thought my three-inch toes and all their skills would someday win me some food! I was excited (to say the least) to win a spa challenge after weeks of eating very little. The big decision: who should I take with me?

Pia and I had spoken about it earlier and decided that if we won a challenge, we’d always need to split up and have someone at camp. At this stage, however, Pia had not eaten anything but rice and beans for 20 days. She needed a break as much as I did.

I justified the decision by thinking that if I took Daisy along with Pia, it meant we could possibly get her as a number.

The danger was leaving Luke on the island: he was the master manipulator and, even though I thought Abbey was solid, I knew that she was nowhere near as solid as Pia.

The reward was insanely good: there was more food and chocolate than we knew what to do with, and to have a bed and light at night was such a treat.

Upon returning to the camp we all knew it was important that we downplay the reward: every emotion at this point was heightened. A flippant comment can be blown out of proportion, and having a reward like we did could bring out the green-eyed monster in the people who didn’t go. Still, we could tell that there was a shift back at camp. But everyone was saying the right things, so I thought maybe I’d got away with this decision to take Pia. (Spoiler: apparently not.)

Having watched the show I can now see that Abbey was feeling like a third wheel with Pia and me, and she started to work with Luke. What you did not see was Luke telling Abbey that we had promised him final three. This was a massive Survivor lie but it worked like a charm. Abbey began to doubt us and think we were plotting against her, and now Abbey was firmly under Luke’s wing.

The next challenge was to hold a rubber ball in place over our heads by keeping pressure on the ball in a bicep curl position. The moment I saw it I remember thinking There is no way I will last a minute, never mind win the challenge . With these challenges you need to find a technique, and that is exactly what I did. I found a certain angle with my body and I noticed that, because I’d dropped so much weight due to lack of food, my newly protruding hip bones made a perfect place to rest my arms. This did not save the pain in my wrists or take all the weight off, but it helped me go further than one minute.

I knew Simon was struggling near the end of the challenge and I had more in my tank, but when Simon made an offer to drop, who was I to say no? Either way I knew I would win this one; it was just a matter of time.

I have to say, at this point in the game, having the necklace around my neck made Tribal Council actually quite pleasant. I had no idea what Luke and Abbey were planning, but clearly it saved me that night.

Exile

Tribal Council that night came with a twist when Daisy, who we’d thought we voted out, was instead sent to Exile Beach. Exile Beach was somewhere totally isolated on the island; you had to build your own fire and shelter, and then compete with the next person who was voted out to return to the game. At this stage in the game we had been on the island for over 40 days. We were all physically and emotionally tired, hungry, cold and over the conditions. Everyone wanted to win, but if you’re not going to win, getting voted out and heading to Jury Villa, where there was all the food you could wish for and a warm bed, was actually quite appealing. Going to exile made the worst-case scenario somehow even worse.

As if this wasn’t bad enough for Daisy, the biggest storm of the season came through while she was on Exile Beach, without shelter.

Rain was coming into our shelter sideways and we were hit with 80-kilometre winds. The storm was so fierce over at our camp that a cameraman suddenly lost his umbrella, his camera got wet and he couldn’t even stand up because of the wind. He stomped around muttering, ‘F%ck this, I did not sign up for this shit!’ But he got no sympathy from us: we had no wet weather gear, no umbrella and were huddling together to keep ourselves from freezing. All I could think about that night was Daisy. She had no-one to support her, no body heat, no fire, no food. If she’d waved the white flag to signal she gave up, I would not have blamed her. My admiration for her grew that night; she wore her emotions on her sleeve but she was one tough chick. When I did see her next, I gave her a hug and told her how proud I was of her. She did so well.

The next vote was on the next person to go to Exile. Pia was safe as she had won the last immunity; it was the rest of us that were in trouble. Simon was pissed at me for not pushing harder for Luke but, to be honest, I stand by this decision. Luke, for me at the time, was more predictable than Daisy — plus Luke had Abbey in his back pocket.

What you did not see on the show was Simon was gunning for Abbey. I think he was pissed that she didn’t vote with us the last time. Simon approached Luke and told him of his plan to vote out Abbey. Once Luke told Abbey, and then Harry and Baden, Simon’s future was decided. Pia and I had no idea that it had changed from Baden and we happily voted how we thought everyone was voting.

This is what is so interesting about Survivor : it can twist and turn in a hot second and, with people plotting here, there and everywhere, you can go from top to bottom pretty quick. Clearly, Pia and I were now very firmly on the bottom of the alliance.

As Simon went to Exile, Pia and I were left thinking, Shit. We’re in trouble .

The battle

The battle between Simon and Daisy was intense. It was a classic Survivor challenge: they needed to balance a disc on a long stick and navigate the stick through a maze without touching it. If the disc fell you started again. This was repeated until 12 disks were stacked. This challenge was more about being precise than being fast. You would think Simon would have it in the bag, but Daisy was so close. In fact, they both had at least 10 attempts at getting the balance right only to have each one fall down. By the tenth time both were being super careful but in the end they just could not get to the 12. They went to a time-based challenge in which the one who got the most blocks in 10 minutes would win. This was even more intense. You had to decide: only do seven or eight blocks and hope the other drops theirs, or do you try for the 12? Simon was victorious in the end and he returned to camp. Suddenly we had a new Simon: a very angry, determined one.

While the old Simon had always been a polite, incredibly loyal guy who really struggled with the lying part of the game, this new Simon was fierce and wanted revenge. He fought hard when he came back into camp, trying to pull together an alliance to change the outcome, but he just could not do it. His only hope was to find an idol.

Simon found an old clue that Harry and Luke left out saying there was an idol underground, near a palm tree. He was digging for hours (I’m talking 12 to 15 hours) to find this idol; he was not going without a fight. Unfortunately for Simon, all that effort was in vain: the clue had been a fake. His fire went out that night.

Letters from home …

As I’m sure you’ve noticed, I am very pragmatic in real life and that was evident on the show. I thought ahead, used my social skills to help keep people together to form a strong alliance, and I did not let things worry me (on the surface anyway). I was focused and disciplined in my approach on Survivor . I also put my emotions in a box and dipped into them only when I needed to. That was before the letters from home.

On day 42 we were doing our normal routine in the morning and were told that there was tree mail. Now, it can get boring on the beach, so this was the highlight of the day. The tree mail told us two every exciting things:

1. There was food up on the beach.
2. We had letters from home.

I am a real family person, and my husband is my rock and the love of my life. But, like all couples, we had started to take each other for granted. You get annoyed at the little stuff and your iPhone or computer start to seem far more interesting than the people around you. When I left for Survivor my husband was spending three to four days per week at the farm that we have on the Surf Coast of Melbourne (this is his happy place, where his horses are) and I was busy in Melbourne.

There was nothing wrong with our marriage, in fact it is far better than most, but we were certainly not being the best couple we could be. While I had no doubt that Jeff would be getting on with anything that happened at home, dealing with the business and helping finish the house that we were building, I did not realise until I had his letter in my hand how much I loved and missed him — and how much he loved and missed me.

We both realised by being away from each other how much we meant to one another, how much we’d been taking each other for granted and how we had started to drift apart.

As you see on Survivor , I am not a highly emotional person. I only cried two times: when Rosco hurt himself (which was a big sob) and when I read my husband’s letter.

We have been married for over 22 years and I know him well, so just reading the first line I knew that he was struggling without me and that he missed me more than we both thought possible. Reading his letter unlocked all the emotions that I had cleverly kept pushed down and suddenly the floodgates opened. At this stage in the game, I was looking bloody rough and I know that I was a really ugly crier, but nothing could stop the emotion and tears flowing.

Coming home, after Survivor , our relationship could not be better. Our love is so strong and our friendship even stronger. I needed him more on that day than I ever needed anyone.

It was very hard once the floodgates opened to contain all those emotions again and continue to play the game, but I had to do just that.

My final challenge

On the day my fire was snuffed out, the sun came up like it did every morning. We had perfected just the right mix of 1/3 salt water to 2/3 fresh water to cook our rice (thanks, Lukie, for that tip) and I could hear the ever-present sounds of coconuts being chopped and the ocean rolling in.

Going into the next challenge, I knew I was in trouble. I knew that I would need to win immunity and the challenge was a ripper. It was essentially an obstacle course challenge that incorporated climbing up a huge wooden ladder that was tangled in ropes, which easily could be twisted. It was a combination of rope management, balance, throwing, and a puzzle, all of which I thought I was okay at.

Jonathan did his ‘Survivors … GO’ line and off we went. I was doing well and started to feel confident … until my rope got tangled!

As I unwound myself people were getting further and further away from me. Finally, I got the rope untied, scrambled over the tightrope, then onto the throwing part of the challenge. There was a small target that if you hit it, it moved a pole that was behind it and eventually a key would drop if you hit it enough. With the pressure of trying to catch up, I missed too many throws and was still behind. Finally, I got to the puzzle and off I went, but it wasn’t enough and once again I ended up about third. No necklace.

Back at camp we all started our conversations. I have a logical brain, and I simply thought that people would play to get them further in the game: i.e. play for their best interests. Us three girls were the oldest and strongest alliance in the game and, with six of us left, our three votes were the most important and powerful votes in the game. If we got to five votes then we were unstoppable to the final three, so even though Luke was wooing Abbey I still believed that anyone could see the logic in a strong three, not in a strong two.

Abbey was going from Harry to Luke to Baden and back to us.

The conversation that I had with Luke gave me some comfort that he was still with me. Luke is not stupid, and he knew that no-one would want to go to the end with him. Luke suggested voting out Baden, which made sense to me. I knew that it would work for Luke (it would leave Harry, Abbey, Pia, Luke and me, which in Luke’s mind gave him a barrier vote of Harry before we would vote out him) and, in fairness, that was my gameplay the whole time: make calls that worked for the best interest of the group or the person I was speaking to. Plus, Baden was a threat to everyone: he was a person everyone would be happy to go to the final two with.

I was about 70 per cent sure I was not going home: voting out Baden was in the best interest of Abbey (strong three), Luke (get rid of Baden and you have Harry as the next obvious vote) and Pia (because I simply loved her and we were tight). So, with logic on my side I thought, Even though they’re gunning for me, their self-interest will prevail . You are never confident at Tribal, and many times I actually thought I was going home, and this was no different. But it was more intense as I was so close to the end.

Obviously if you’ve watched the episode you’ll know it was not to be for me. My torch was snuffed out. There are always mixed emotions being voted out: on the one hand, you are gutted that you are out of the game and you will not be sole survivor , but having a bed, shower, food and seeing your loved ones is something that you have been hoping for for weeks. It’s bittersweet really — I would have taken a hard bit of dirt to sleep on any day to be able to get to the final two.

The second your torch is snuffed you are whisked away by production; it’s a whirlwind. They take you to a room with scales and a doctor to see if you are still alive (tick) and then you’re asked a lot of questions by the social media team. Apparently, the social media side of Survivor is one of the biggest followings in Australia. You are then put in a car and asked more questions and finally you arrive at the resort that is serving as Jury Villa.

I entered Jury Villa very hesitantly. I felt a bit nervous, as I was part of the reason that these other people were sitting there. However, they were a delight: they welcomed me with open arms and we ate a serious feast to fill (or should I say over fill) my belly.

I got to have my first call with Jeff and Tahlia, which was emotional and invigorating. I showered in a real shower, and I slept in a proper bed for the first time in 44 days (other than the night at the spa challenge). I fell blissfully asleep.

We were so lucky with the personalities in the Jury Villa. There was David, Shaun, John, Daisy and Simon, who are all amazing people. The vibe was like a party: the food was plentiful, as was the sun and the atmosphere. It was so very different to living on the island.

I was feeling bad for Pia as we’d been each other’s rock for the past 44 days, but I knew her inner strength. She was a fighter; she would be fine, and she had a great chance of winning.

Before I’d started the show I asked a producer if he had any tips. He said, ‘This game can break the strongest. The ones who do well are the ones that see the beauty in every day.’

I thought this was good advice, for both Survivor and in life — so I’d done just that.

The beach in front of our camp was not very wide: only about 400 metres from one end to the other. When the tide was out, there is literally no water for about 200 metres, yet even then, it was beautiful in its extremes. Our shelter, the one we’d built on day one, stood to the end and did us proud. (Although the roof couldn’t handle much more than drizzle.)

I marvelled at the ways we’d all adapted to our environment. The sun rises about 6.30 am and sets about 6 pm where we were, and we’d quickly learned exactly where the sun would be when it was setting because if you missed it, you were plummeted into pitch blackness with no idea where your gear was.

Rosco had taught me how to look at the weather to try and predict if it was going to rain or not. He always said that he had a 30 per cent chance of being right, but I have to say his accuracy was more like 70 per cent. Being on Survivor you rely on nature and the elements to keep you warm and safe. Nature told you what time the sun was setting and rising and many times it made me love being there, whether it was watching a sunset or enjoying a breeze to cool us down. It was such a primal feeling, which I have to say is what made the experience so real and raw.

During the game the sunsets were beautiful, the chatter around the fire was good for the soul, the swimming in the water was refreshing, and all the friendships I made gave me strength and security in the game. There was a lot of good amongst the bad. Obviously there was a great deal of sand and dirt, cold, wet and scary challenges, and manipulation, but when I think of my time on Survivor , I seem to only reflect on the laughs and good times.

The friends I made

There are many things on Survivor that are hard, but my favourite thing was the hours of getting to know people and the little moments. Here are some of my memories of some of the people.

Harry: In the early days of knowing Harry we did not spend that much time together because I didn’t think he was going to be there long. The first time we tried to get Harry out, the Survivor gods instead took Shaun. The next time we went for him, he had an idol. Upon returning to the camp that night we laughed. I patted him on the back and thought I’ll get you next time . The third time (once again) he had an idol and Matt went home. This was our turning point. We laughed together and I started to call him ‘the cockroach’. We started to seriously talk about working together, and we would have had to, if Rosco hadn’t got hurt.

Pia and I saw merit in working with Harry for many reasons: he was a good game player, he knew when to keep his mouth shut (the hardest thing to find in Survivor ) and I thought he had a similar game plan to Pia and I. I like Harry, even though he was playing the villain and he wanted the Godmother gone. (This is the nickname that he gave me throughout the game. He wanted the attention off him and on to me. It was fun to embrace the title and it made me laugh.) Harry and I had mutual respect for each other. He’s a good guy and I really enjoyed playing with him.

David: I know people either loved or hated David in the game, but David was playing a character and I think he played it so well. He made me laugh so much watching the show. He did not take himself seriously and knew he was there to do a job.

My impression of David when I first saw him was that he was too cool for school. He had a leather jacket (good call), a cap and a strut that was the best I have ever seen. Then he smiled and it turned out he is warm, funny and not stuck up at all.

David was the first person in my alliance, and he is genuinely a good guy. I was thrilled to get to know the real David on the jury and he is a dude. He is funny, witty and very talented. I’ve told him that I thought he was a tool on the show, which made him laugh. He is also a very talented cartoonist; I hope you get to see some of his work as it’s hysterical. I hope we remain friends for years to come.

Rosco: I admit, Rosco was one of my favourites. He was always smiling (other than when he got hurt). He taught me how to find the child within, and he really did look after us. He was naughty; he nearly burned down our camp, he set Harry on fire and was always dropping things on his foot. He is one of the reasons I loved playing Survivor . We’ve caught up since we’ve been back home and I will continue to make sure we stay close.

Daisy: I did not have a lot to do with Daisy as she was never in my alliance (other than for a short time in the spa) but my admiration for her is immense. What she went through on Exile Beach, enduring a storm that was as fierce as I have ever witnessed, showed the real character that she had. There is not a bad bone in Daisy’s body and I wish her all the best.

John: He was super likeable, funny and did not take life too seriously. He had an incredible work ethic and was never still. I was sad I did not get to spend a lot of time with him on the island, but we made up for it in the Jury Villa. We did a yoga session together while there and he is bloody good at it.

Abbey: I am so fond of Abbey: she is a driven, competitive powerhouse. She will have massive success in life simply because she will make it happen. There are two sides to Abbey: the sweet, soft, emotional side and the challenge beast (who you do not mess with, by the way). I remember in the water football challenge where she screamed at me, ‘Go the body J!’, which I did, taking poor Daisy down and breaking her top in the process. I loved both sides. I loved competing with her and we were close from day one. I felt very protective of Abbey. We have caught up many times since the end of filming and I love seeing her every time.

Lukie: How can you not love Lukie? That is his superpower: he is so bloody loveable. He was always smiling and cheeky. It does not matter what challenges are in his life, he sees them all as good. He never complained once and was always working, whether that be working with us all with game play or around camp. He is the perfect Survivor player. You better be on his side, because if you are not — beware!

Shaun: I did not get to play with Shaun much; we were only together for a few days. When he was around he was a leader people wanted to follow. He had that perfect mix of likeability and intelligence; he knew what was going on and how to change it. I have caught up with him post game with Megan and I hope we continue our friendship.

Simon: I was with Simon the whole time on the island. You will not find a kinder and more loyal man. Despite starving, he always made sure everyone had enough to eat. He was always working around camp and strongly supported his alliance, whether that was the sporting alliance or ours. Simon spoke so fondly about his beautiful wife that I felt like I knew her. I hope to meet her face to face in the near future.

Baden: I only met Baden at merge. He genuinely wanted the best for his tribe. Was he quirky? Yes. Did he love scraping the rice pot? Sure. But his intentions were always the best. I loved getting to know him.

Pia: I saved the best for last. What I was concerned about going into Survivor was that I wanted to trust someone, someone who could have my back and I theirs. I found this in a five-foot-two-inch-tall actress named Pia.

We hit it off straight away and she was my sleeping buddy. The area we slept in was smaller than a single bed and it was freezing, so nearly every night I had Pia in my arms for warmth and comfort. We never got sick of each other, we never ran out of conversation and we kept each other sane during the time we were both on the island.

Pia was my moral compass during the game. There were many Survivor lies going around, as that is part of the game, but I never once lied to Pia. She was on my team and the plan was always to get to the end together by protecting each other along the way. Pia and I catch up on a regular basis, either in person, or by text or phone. Our daughters are great mates and communicate as much as we do, and I hope that we can do some projects together soon. Pia was my love story in Survivor .

The editors

What we actually experienced was a bit different to what you see on TV. You have to remember that the editors need to cut down thousands of hours of footage to 60- or 90-minute episodes that tell a story that makes sense. I am not sure why they did not show more of Daisy on Exile Beach and what she went through or with Simon’s fake clue, but at the end of the day something has to go.

There may be some twists and turns to make sure that the story is told well, but the essence of what you see is true and depicts how it happened. The people of Survivor take the show very seriously; there are no shortcuts with regard to contestants. They made it tough for us, as it should be. We did it tough and they made no apologies: this is what we signed up for. They also let the game play out with nil to very little interference. I know many of us are quick to assume that certain things are rigged, but this was not the case with Survivor ; the integrity of the show was always put first. I personally feel the editors and production team did an amazing job of detailing the story, showing the viewers the game and our raw experiences out in Fiji.

Thanks to Channel TEN and Endemol Shine for having me. I had a ball.

Gratitude

There are many lessons to take from being stranded on a deserted island for 44 days, but the biggest is gratitude.

It is amazing how humbling it is to have everything taken away from you. You’re forced to see your life more clearly and you become very familiar with the true essence of what gratitude means day to day.

First was my family and friends; I realised that I often take them for granted and am not always present in their company. How could I have ever thought my iPhone or tablet were more important than these real relationships?

Absolute second are the small things we often overlook. Something as simple as flavours: when you have nothing but rice, beans, coconut and the odd papaya it makes food very dull. A door and window, a bed and blanket, a brush (who would I have killed for a brush?), anything to keep you dry or warm: these things are precious.

Competing on Survivor was the most humbling experience that I have ever had and one that I am eternally grateful for. This experience has allowed me to open my eyes wider and appreciate everything in my life that much more.

Thanks for reading about my Survivor journey; I hope it gave you a bit more insight as to what it was like on a deserted island for 44 days.

I am grateful for it.