CHAPTER 7
Staying Present and Being Vigilant
It’s not exactly a profound cultural insight to suggest that we live in the Age of Distraction. Simply look around in any public space—on a train, in a coffee shop, or even on the sidewalk—and you’re likely to see the majority of people “plugged in,” headphones on and eyes glued to their phone or tablet. Smartphones and almost unlimited access to the internet, along with the emergence of multiple social media platforms, have created a world in which most of us are constantly bombarded with information. A 2018 study by Udemy Research1 found that three out of every four workers feel distracted at work, and a surprising 36 percent of millennial and Gen Z workers spend at least two hours per day on their phones for nonwork activities. Indeed, it often feels as if we are drowning in a continuous stream of text message alerts, Instagram updates, and phone calls, all of which carry a high demand for our attention.
Attention, it seems, is at a premium.
Meanwhile, the pace of life and work seem to be speeding up as well. Our new technological reality allows us to cram much more into each day—activities, projects, relationships, and even jobs. We can now be in multiple places at the same time, albeit virtually. A friend recently told me that he took a ski weekend, and conducted business calls from his cell phone on the chairlift. Thanks to all of these opportunities for adding more to our lives, we’re more productive than ever. However, we are also experiencing a greater and greater demand on our time. At work, and even in our personal lives, we are under increased pressure to move quickly, often at the expense of taking the sufficient amount of time to make good decisions and get things right. Not only that, but finding space in our schedules for our minds to relax or reflect is becoming a job in itself.
This time pressure is particularly strong for leaders and managers. The demand to perform and deliver, and to do it quickly, becomes more intense as you move closer to the “top of the food chain.” As a result, many leaders find that they often feel forced to cut corners and move faster than they’d like to. There is a growing sense of panic within individuals and organizations that gets in the way of good, solid, and often time-consuming strategic thinking.
In this atmosphere of increased time pressure and information overload, there is a significant premium on leaders who are able to tune out the distractions and stay focused. I call this capacity “staying present and being vigilant.” It is the sixth and perhaps most relevant dimension of Intelligent Leadership. Staying present allows you to be awake to the multidimensional complexity of the situations you’re involved in. Being present in your interactions and relationships with others builds trust and improves communications. The more vigilant you are, the fewer mistakes you’ll make, and the more effective and efficient you’ll become.
I have found that today’s great leaders are separated from the merely competent ones by their disciplined dedication to being present, no matter what kind of outside pressures they encounter. Yet it may be the most difficult element of Intelligent Leadership to put into practice, especially these days. It takes courage. It takes commitment. And most of all, the ability to rise above the distraction and be a truly present leader takes a profound dedication to improving the lives of those around you. Over the course of this chapter, we’ll explore how.
Moving Slow to Move Fast
One of the most important elements of being present and staying vigilant is taking the time to slow down and absorb each situation, decision, or moment, so that you can make more effective decisions. I have a friend, a former Navy officer, who has a favorite motto: “Slow is smooth and smooth is fast.” The phrase, one she borrowed from the Navy SEALs, is based on the Latin festina lente, which translates as “hurry slowly.” To her, the value in “hurrying slowly” is that when you’re taking your time, you don’t make mistakes. And when you don’t make mistakes, you actually move faster. Alternatively, when you’re rushing, you often end up acting with incomplete information and are much more prone to errors. And the amount of time it takes to clean up your mistakes ends up being far greater than the time you saved by rushing.
Moving slow in order to move fast, to many of us, seems like common sense. When we were children, we learned from the classic tale of “The Tortoise and the Hare” that sometimes it’s better to move at a slower pace in order to “win the race.” But we all know that putting that lesson into practice actually can be quite difficult, especially in high-pressure situations. In fact, it turns out that we are neurologically wired to move quickly.
In his 2011 best-selling book, Thinking Fast and Slow, behavioral psychologist and Nobel Prize–winning economist Daniel Kahneman lays out a thoughtful and well-researched argument for why “thinking slow” is so important in today’s world. He identifies two different “systems” of thinking that we employ in any given situation. System 1 is intuitive—gut-thinking—based on our initial impressions. System 2 thinking is analytical, based on careful reflection and problem solving. To be more effective thinkers, we need to prioritize our analytical System 2 thinking, and deemphasize our intuitive System 1 thinking.
Certainly, this can be challenging, especially in our hyper-drive world. When we are moving fast, our natural tendency is to go with our guts (System 1 thinking). Mix into that what Kahneman says about our brains: They are wired to find patterns and create stories out of the information we are given, which helps us make sense of reality. But this pattern-finding capacity can backfire, especially when we are moving too fast, because we often find connections and narratives that are inaccurate and based on incomplete information. So in order to avoid making the mistake of going with our guts, or acting on incomplete information, we need to slow down, and take the time to use the right kind of thinking.
This is where being present comes in. When we are able to keep our attention focused and in the moment, we can start to understand the dynamics of our mind and be less susceptible to drawing premature conclusions. We can take the time necessary to use our System 2 thinking, and apply careful reflection and analysis to make choices and take actions that are based on more accurate information. In this way, we will become less prone to making mistakes and incorrect assumptions.
Time and time again, I’ve found this part of Intelligent Leadership to be difficult for my clients to grasp, at least initially. As we spend time exploring our values and thinking patterns, they are constantly asking me, “All of this analysis is great and all, John, but when do we get to the action?” My answer is always the same: We can’t generate a prescription without first making the correct diagnosis. We need to take whatever time necessary to ensure we understand what’s going on “under the hood” before we move into action. Failing to do so risks overlooking fundamental issues.
The best leaders are those who take the time to think things through, and encourage others to do the same, regardless of the time pressure they face. They understand that getting it done right is always more important than getting it done quickly, even if it means pushing back a deadline or not hitting a target. The best leaders are those who understand intimately the paradox of moving, and thinking, slowly in order to move fast.
Making the Space for Novelty
One powerful story about taking the time to stay present comes from Microsoft founder Bill Gates. Throughout his career as the head of one of the world’s biggest technology companies, and even now as he runs the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, Mr. Gates has committed to carving out two weeks per year to fully unplug from his work, his family, and the world in general to think about the future. During these “Think Weeks,” Gates isolates himself in a secret cabin in the woods, fully disconnected from internet, phone, TV, and news. He has no contact with his family, friends, or co-workers. The only thing he brings with him are books and proposals for new innovations. The goal of Gates’s Think Weeks is to educate himself on the latest thinking in his field, and adjacent fields, and to think about the future.
These weeks in isolation work. He came up with the idea for the Microsoft tablet PC during a Think Week, and rumor has it that his 1995 retreat spurred him to write his famous memo “The Internet Tidal Wave.” With the space to allow new ideas to flourish, he projected how the internet would soon transform the entire technology industry, and how Microsoft needed to change in order to avoid becoming obsolete.
Here you have one of the world’s busiest humans finding the time—a full two weeks a year—simply to reflect on the current and future state of his industry. And he’s not alone. I’ve encountered many examples of some of our greatest leaders, with more responsibility on their shoulders than most human beings, who somehow always seem to be able to find the time to step out of the day-to-day grind and find the space to expand their thinking.
Being Awake to Your Footprint
One of the ways that many of us have learned to survive in the age of information overload is to put our heads down, tune out the noise, and get to work. You block out the chaos of the world in order to stay focused and productive, tantamount to closing your door and hanging a “do not disturb” sign. While this almost maniacal focus may be beneficial in the short run, it cuts you off from the complex world of relationships and interactions around you. While you may be focused, you are “in your own head” and unaware of the consequences of your actions. True, we may feel efficient and focused when we act in this way, but more often than not, we end up wreaking havoc on those around us without even knowing it.
As appealing as it may be, tunnel vision just isn’t acceptable if you want to be a leader. In Chapter 4, we discussed how leaders must act with a duty mindset—an awareness of the greater whole of which they are a part. You don’t have the luxury of not being aware of your interconnectedness. It is true as well with the Intelligent Leadership dimension of staying present and being vigilant: You are keenly aware of your “behavioral footprint.” You are striving to be vigilant, in part, so you can understand the impact you are having on those around us. When we are in touch with our footprint, we have a much better chance of making it a positive one! Our actions can lift people up, make work more efficient, or solve problems. If we ignore our impacts, we risk making already challenging situations even worse.
The greatest leaders are those who understand how much their actions, gross or subtle, actually affect those around them. I’ll never forget something that one of my clients, Henry, told me on this point. Henry was the CFO for a midwestern energy company. He was an old-school exec, the brand of man who always left the house clean shaven and appropriately dressed. He told me, “John, for me, first impressions are renewed every day. Every morning on my way to work, I think about everyone on my team and how I might be able to brighten up their day. That practice helps me enter the office with energy, no matter what else might be going on in my life. I can ‘show up’ for everyone else and show them, through my own example, that today’s outlook is good.”
Henry really understood the effect he had on others, and he had his own way of making sure he never forgot it. Even something as subtle as whether he was smiling when he walked into his office every morning was important to him—and to those around him, even if they weren’t necessarily aware of it. This is the power of being present. You can see even the smallest ripples that emanate from what you do and how you are. Your influence won’t always be perfectly positive, but if you make the effort to keep your behavioral footprint in your awareness, there’s a good chance that your overall impact will be tipped toward the good side of the scale.
Being Present for People
Not having enough time for the people in our lives, whether they are our friends, family, or co-workers, is a pervasive challenge for many of us today, especially for leaders with significant responsibilities in the workplace. We often feel as if we’re on a fast-moving treadmill of daily, weekly, and monthly tasks, and we can barely keep up with the pace. In light of the overwhelming demand for our time and attention, we often don’t prioritize our relationships. We tell ourselves, “Once I’m done with X, then I’ll have time for you.” But that time never comes.
If you want to be a strong leader, it’s absolutely imperative that you find a way to make time for people, no matter how busy you are. That means making the effort to check in and connect with the key people in your life—friends, family, co-workers, teammates. Doing so lets other people know that you value them. It builds trust. I believe that it is incumbent upon leaders to make even more effort than others to build relationships. As a leader, you should consider yourself a steward for the interconnections among the people within the many circles you’re a part of.
I remember a story that one client told me about the work he was doing with his team. They were having trouble making progress on a big project. It seemed like no matter how long or how hard they worked, they never seemed to get any closer to their goal, and the deadline was fast approaching. He decided to try something completely out of character. On a Wednesday afternoon, he closed down the office and took everyone out for drinks. It gave everyone a chance to unwind and talk about something besides work. Plus, it was an indication from him that he valued everyone as human beings, and didn’t think of them as robots. Even though, from one perspective, they didn’t have the time to take a break from their work, it ended up supercharging their morale, and ultimately their productivity. By the end of the week, they had finished their project—and so they celebrated with another round of drinks.
In making time for others, quality is just as important as quantity. When you are with people, it is important that you are fully present, which in the smartphone age is becoming rarer and rarer. It’s now commonplace for friends who are sharing a meal together to each have their phone on the table, paying as much attention to incoming texts as they are to the dinner conversation. I can’t tell you the number of board meetings I’ve sat it on, where everyone in the room is in their own little universe, plugged into their phone or computer, and paying only partial attention to what’s happening in the room. They simply aren’t “present” and therefore the meetings are unproductive. People don’t hear one another and little is accomplished. As bizarre as this state of affairs may seem, especially for those of us old enough to remember the pre-smartphone era, being fully present in our interactions with others has become a unique skillset. As a leader, you will be the one setting the tone for how people in your group or organization show up (or not) in everything from casual interactions to formal meetings. Your proficiency, then, at being fully present is crucial, and as with anything, takes practice.
Being Present Takes Courage
Another way of thinking about “being present” is the practice of “mindfulness,” which is a concept borrowed from Buddhism that has become very popular in the Western world over the past decade. Mindfulness, in essence, is being aware of as much of reality as possible—both inside and out.
I was recently invited to give a talk to a company in Myanmar, which is a predominantly Buddhist country. There were a handful of Buddhist monks in the audience, with their maroon robes and shaven heads. After my presentation, some of the monks told me how much they appreciated my approach to leadership development, and how relevant it seemed to their cultural worldview. One of the reasons they felt such connection with my work was my emphasis on the cultivation of presence, which they saw as mindfulness—a core principle of their Buddhist practice. As our conversation continued, one of them shared with me something I’ll never forget. “Being present takes courage,” the monk said, and continued without even the slightest hint of irony, “Sometimes the hardest thing you can do is to just do nothing.”
That struck me. These monks, peaceful in their outer appearance and demeanor, are courageous individuals who have dedicated their lives to being fully present and awake in a world where there is constant pressure to be otherwise. Even in a country like Myanmar, where Buddhist monks make up a fair portion of the population, their chosen vocation is becoming rarer, and also more wrought with challenges from the culture at large. Today’s world is all about action and results. The last thing we should be doing is simply taking the time to just be present—or so the world seems to scream. Whether you’re doing hours of mindfulness practice like the monks, or simply making the effort to slow down and be more present in the workplace as a leader, you have to swim against a current rushing fast in the other direction. With countless demands for our attention, and an increasing pressure to deliver results, quickly, resisting the pressures to move too quickly or succumb to distraction takes a lot of courage.
Courage, as we’ve discussed, requires taking action in the face of resistance. It requires doing things that are unpopular or outside the box, knowing that there likely will be a lot of blowback. Think of the courage it takes Bill Gates, a man whose to-do list could fill a public library, to step away from it all for two weeks a year to take the time for reflection. My friend who took a risk and treated his team to drinks on a Wednesday afternoon exhibited real courage in doing so. Think of the courage required to take time every day away from your pressing deadlines to connect with the key people in your life. The best leaders find the wherewithal to be present. They accept it as part of the job.
Think, Don’t Overthink
We have talked at length in this chapter about the importance of being present, whether that takes the form of carefully thinking things through before taking action, or taking the time to connect with the key people in your life and work. But, as with all dimensions of Intelligent Leadership, there can be too much of a good thing. When it comes to staying present and being vigilant, the biggest danger is that we develop a tendency to overthink situations and spend too much time in the “present moment” without moving into the future.
While there’s no such thing as being too aware or too present, it is possible to get carried away and be lulled into inaction. In any given situation, there will always be a point at which you’ve done your due diligence and slowed down enough to become aware of the complexity you’re facing. The time comes when you must just make a decision. If you get lost in the practice of awareness, and don’t balance it with the other dimensions of IL, then you run the risk of being a very aware person who never gets anything done.
The same is true when making the time to be present for others. You need to find the right balance of connecting with others and also attending to the demands of your own life. I have worked with leaders who spend so much time worrying about others that they drive themselves crazy, and often don’t have the time or space to make sure that they are getting what they need personally. You have to put on your own oxygen mask before attending to those around you. The key for this dimension, as with all the others, is striking the right balance.
The Matrix of Intelligent Leadership
At this point in our journey, you may be noticing how seamlessly interconnected are the many dimensions of Intelligent Leadership. In fact, as we get deeper into IL, it becomes difficult to introduce any new dimension without constantly referring to the others. The beauty of Intelligent Leadership is that each dimension contains within it hints of all the others.
Let’s look, for example, at the connection between this Intelligent Leadership dimension and having the courage to execute with pride, passion, and precision. Being present requires courageous action, even if that “action” is actually ceasing to act. Similarly, when you are making the effort to infuse your actions with pride, passion, and precision, you will naturally bring a greater presence to everything you’re doing.
We’ve also talked about the key role that the duty mindset plays in our capacity to be present. Indeed, the more present we are, the more connected we will be to the greater wholes that we are a part of.
Here’s another: A key prerequisite to leveraging your gifts and addressing your gaps is taking the time and space to reflect on yourself. When you take this dimension of IL seriously, the natural result will be an increased awareness of how your actions are impacting others.
Bill Gates’s Think Week is a great example of how being present interacts with the first dimension of Intelligent Leadership: thinking differently, thinking big. If you never take the time to step out of the constant stream of day-to-day tasks, you’ll never have the space to actually think in new ways. Some of Gates’s biggest, most innovative ideas came from simply making space for new thinking to emerge.
And then there’s the vulnerability decision. In many ways, being present and being vulnerable are two sides of the same coin. There is no presence without vulnerability. And being vulnerable, in many ways, heightens your awareness of the impact that you’re having on everyone around you.
Can you see how the dimensions all work together?
Practicing Presence
One of the best phrases I’ve heard to describe our modern hyper-distracted state is “monkey mind.” Like a wild monkey swinging through the jungle, our minds move from thought to thought, often in random order, quickly becoming distracted by every shiny object that enters our field of vision. Just pay attention to your train of thought during distracted periods of the day. You might set out to write an email to a colleague and twenty minutes later find that you are watching funny dog videos on your phone while you shop for new shoes on Amazon. These days, it can often feel as if “monkey mind” is a permanent state. Staying present is harder than ever.
Luckily for us, our monkey minds can be trained. There are countless practices and tools available today to help with the process of maintaining focus, staying present, and becoming more aware. I recommend that you find a set of tools that works for you. Below are a few principles and practices that I recommend for being more aware.
Less Is More
One of the biggest sources of distraction we face is overcommitment. We incorrectly assume that if we jam more items into our schedules, we will become more productive. In our attempts to honor the commitments we’ve made, we multitask when we would be better off staying focused exclusively on the task at hand. Predictably, our attempts to do more result only in a substandard job on more things. And our overcommitment keeps us in a perpetual cycle of distraction, which prevents us from being truly present for our work and our relationships.
I have found that one of the keys to staying present is what I call “the disciplined pursuit of less.” None of us have infinite time and attention, so it’s important for us to learn to get clear about what we should focus on and what we can cut out. This can be a challenging process, because it often seems like everything is important! But if you can get clear about your priorities, identify what is truly most important in your life, and then cut out anything that doesn’t directly contribute to your bigger goals, you will become much more efficient with your time.
As a leader, you have to do this not only for yourself, but you also must set and maintain priorities for the groups you lead. You must be the one to keep things focused, right the ship when it gets off track, and keep everyone focused on the few simple things that will make the most impact. If you can achieve this degree of simplified focus, for yourself and your teams, you can accomplish far more than if you try to do too much.
Taking Time Just to Breathe
For millennia, human beings have been using the simple art of breathing to help maintain focus. Monks, meditators, yoga practitioners, and anyone who is just looking for a little reprieve from the mental onslaught that seems to characterize most of our lives all have turned to simple breathing techniques to center themselves and become more present.
I recommend taking time every day simply to listen to yourself breathe. It helps you both to prepare for the day ahead, and to calm down when you get overwhelmed. When you listen to yourself breathe, you are tuning into one single behavior, which enables you to block out the world, and slow things down to a manageable level. It can help you to avoid engaging in the negative thoughts and emotions that tend rise up quickly when you’re under stress.
As you develop your ability to stay focused on your breath, you’ll naturally begin to find that you have more bandwidth for other things. Your awareness will, in essence, expand. Your monkey mind never goes away, but as you develop your ability to focus, you’ll be able to see the monkey mind for what it is, and keep it in its cage.
Remember, the Past Is Over
One of the biggest obstacles to being present is our natural human inclination to focus on the past. Most of us have at least a mild tendency to replay events or experiences, analyze mistakes, and agonize over things that might not have gone the way we wanted them to. If you pay attention to this tendency in yourself, you’ll see that it’s an addiction of sorts. Our minds are addicted to the past, an obsession that eats up a significant chunk of our bandwidth and keeps us from being aware of what’s happening right now in the present.
When I catch myself in this cycle of past-addiction, I stop and take a moment to refocus myself on what is happening in the present moment. I remind myself that, as cliché as it sounds, you can’t change what has happened in the past. All you have is now, and what you are going to do from now on to create your compelling future. Refocusing on the present in this way doesn’t completely cure my addiction to the past, but it gives me a fighting chance of keeping those thoughts at bay, making more of my attention available to the present moment.
Take the Time to Listen
As we’ve discussed in this chapter, a big part of staying present is being more available in your relationships. A coaching colleague of mine, Avra Lyraki, uses a simple practice with her clients that I’ve also started to use with my own. She has found that most people she works with, many of whom are managers, don’t spend enough time simply listening to the members of their teams. So she encourages them to structure time each week for “active listening.” This can take many forms, but at a minimum, it requires you to make sure that you spend at least a short amount of time each week checking in with each member of your team (however you define it). In these sessions, it’s crucial that you don’t talk much, and give the other person the floor, paying close attention to what they tell you, whether it’s personal or work-related.
This simple listening practice builds trust in your teammates. It makes them feel appreciated. It empowers them by letting them know that their thoughts and contributions are valuable. It’s also a great way to stay in touch with the nuances and details of every aspect of your company or project. Taking time to check in with everyone provides you with valuable feedback and information.
Most importantly, taking the time to listen establishes your credibility as a leader. Leaders often make the mistake of thinking that their time is more important than anyone else’s, but this breeds resentment. If you show that you value each and every person on your team, they will respect you more as a leader.