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What the Boss Needs to Hear
Provide Feedback Up the Ladder
LET’S SAY YOU’RE SAILING along in your leadership role. Your team is knocking the ball out of the park, you’re influencing major decisions across the organization, and you’re about to launch a new product that will dramatically increase revenue. In short, things couldn’t be better. Oh, and you’re also happy with your development; you can feel yourself becoming more confident as you add new dimensions to your leadership toolkit. Everything’s good, right? Well, except one little thing: your boss. Somehow your boss, who was an absolute rock of stability, has gone off the rails. Over the last several months, your boss has gone from being a trusted advisor to the CEO to teetering on the brink of irrelevance—which is so not good for you. What happened? And more important, what are you going to do about it?
There is no more important relationship at work than the one you have with your boss. Like two guide wires securing a footbridge, there are two main pillars of strength you need from your direct manager. The first is your boss’s own reputation in the organization. When your boss is seen as ineffective, unreliable, or not living the values, that’s a problem for your boss, of course, but also for you. If you’ve ever worked for a boss who was out of favor, you know exactly what I mean. Unless you’re incredibly talented and insulated somehow (usually because you’ve found other sponsors), you’re going to get a little paint on you from this broad brush. Your entire department starts to lose influence; you begin to get fewer resources; senior leaders start to question everything; and so on. The second guide wire, of course, is your manager’s relationship with you. How well do you work together? Does your manager trust you, giving you the latitude to make a few mistakes? Does your boss back you up with senior management? Does he or she like your ideas, have faith in your judgment, and ask for your opinion before making a decision? To have a great relationship with your boss is ideal, especially as a leader. There’s nothing better than knowing your boss has got your back, freeing you up to make things happen with your team. But now your boss is in trouble. What do you do?
The Gift of Feedback
The one thing you must do in this situation is give your boss feedback. You owe your manager that. You need to ask if you can help, describe what you’re noticing, and provide some feedback and coaching. I understand this might not be the easiest thing to do; especially if you haven’t established a pattern of upward feedback in the past. But when things reach critical mass, it’s time for you to pitch in. It’s not about you, remember? In this case, it’s not about the team, either; rather, it’s about the third significant link in your work chain. This is about returning the gift of feedback and coaching.
Start by asking about your manager’s world in your next one-on-one meeting. Sometimes your boss will bring up these issues without prompting, but many times you have to get the conversation started. You can do this directly or indirectly. Direct questions are as simple as: “How are things between you and the senior team these days?” or “How’s everything going with the CEO?” Indirectly, you can broach the subject with questions such as: “What’s on your mind today?” or “What’s keeping you up at night?” The point is to get your boss talking about the job, his or her boss, or the company. If your manager doesn’t want to talk about it in this meeting, that’s OK; you’ve established an interest in his or her well-being and can come back to these questions next time. Eventually your boss may begin to confide in you. If so, dust off your very best listening and coaching skills, because you’re going to need them.
When your boss responds, chances are he or she will understate the situation (saving face will be important) or place the blame on factors outside of his or her control (a natural reaction). In that case, focus on your boss’s emotions, feelings, and reactions. Literally, ask: “How do you feel about that?” This is a perfectly legitimate question that doesn’t get asked often enough “up the chain” (bosses are people, too). At this point, you may get more than you bargained for, but once you go down this path, stick with it. You’ve just crossed over into being a confidant or sounding board, and your opportunity to provide feedback is right around the corner.
This is a great position to be in as a direct report. If you feel comfortable with this, invite your manager to blow off a little steam about his or her own pressures on the job. Your boss won’t do this with just anyone, so if you reach this level of confidence, you’ll be establishing a true partnership of trust. In my career, I always tried to establish this kind of relationship with my managers. I wanted them to know I cared about them, wanted them to do well, and was willing to listen if they wanted to talk about their own challenges. I would routinely ask about their standing in the company, with questions such as: “How are things going?” “What are you worried about?” “Who is supporting you?” “How are your relationships with your peers?” I genuinely wanted to help by offering suggestions and ideas or merely giving them an ear to bend for a few minutes. Generally, I had a view of the situation that they didn’t have, and they often found it valuable to see things from another perspective. I can honestly say that all of my “best boss” relationships featured this exchange of “upward feedback,” which was beneficial for both of us.
What Are You Noticing?
If your boss has opened up to you and placed the issue(s) on the table, it’s time for you to wade in carefully with your own data and perceptions. This is where you share what you’re noticing about your manager’s attitude or behaviors. This is tricky, to be sure. Be straightforward, mature, and professional, and speak from your own experiences or observations. Don’t say: “I’ve heard” or “someone told me”; hearsay is not productive or well grounded. You need to describe your own observations and provide firsthand feedback. You might offer: “I’ve noticed lately that you have been upset with Bill” (cite examples) or “I know you didn’t feel fully prepared for that presentation last week” or “It seems to me that the Finance group is ignoring you on this issue—what do you think?” Communicate what you’re noticing and feeling; if it’s delivered objectively and supportively, your boss will be interested and want to hear more. Essentially, you’re creating an opening to share meaningful feedback. If you hold this in (or worse, whisper about it with your peers), you’re not helping the situation at all. Your responsibility as a leader is to step up and take the direct approach to help your manager get back on track.
By taking a genuine interest in your boss’s well-being and offering your unfiltered but constructive feedback, you’ll get the issues out on the table. Then, use your coaching skills to help your boss work through some solutions. Ask: “What options are you considering?” or “What do you think is the best way to approach Bill about this?” or “What’s your next move?” The idea is to start brainstorming with her about ways to turn things around. Obviously, if you have some thoughts or ideas on how to fix things, this is where you suggest them. But stay in coaching mode first; ask a lot of questions. Be a good listener and guide your boss to an honest assessment of the situation.
Giving feedback to the boss isn’t your primary job, but occasionally it’s a necessary part of being a leader. If you’re lucky enough to work in an organization that genuinely values feedback, it’s probably expected of you and welcomed by your boss. If it’s not the norm in your company, look for those times when you can offer specific observations. Feedback is truly a gift, especially when someone is struggling; and when you assume an attitude of “it’s not about me,” you summon the confidence to step up and lend a helping hand. In a strange way, telling your boss what you really think might be the best thing you could ever do for that person. After all, leadership is all about helping others—and sometimes that even includes your boss!
Bootstrap Takeaways
Provide Feedback Up the Ladder
1. Build a solid, trusting relationship or partnership with your boss.
2. When your boss obviously needs support, ask if you can help; then offer your firsthand observations and feedback. Don’t make this about “what you’re hearing” from others.
3. Practice your coaching skills—help your boss find solutions.