Maintain a positive outlook

Almost everyone has their cross to bear. Indeed many people I talked to had to cope with many different, serious problems. These might well relate to health, or lack of money, or the burden of looking after elderly parents – or any number of other problem areas.

If I had to identify the single most important lesson I learnt from writing this book it was that those people who maintained a positive outlook could overcome almost any problem. These people ruled their problems, they never let their problems rule their lives.

When I first started my research I was somewhat fatalistic: I believed that you were born either an optimist or a pessimist and hence you were the victim of your genes. However, it became clear to me that you can consciously develop a more positive outlook. If you force yourself to say positive things, and do positive things, you will almost certainly start feeling more positive.

Do not let the little problems in life get you down. The washing machine or car breaking down is not the end of the world. Count your blessings: you do not have to solve these little problems while holding down a stressful job.

One aspect that came up time and again in my conversations with retired people was the fear of having to go into residential care. Although most people make a successful transition into residential care, most people want to maximise the time they can stay in their own home. Maintaining your independence is as much (or more) a matter of keeping a positive outlook as it is about the state of your physical abilities. The next point further highlights how important psychological issues are.

Develop a new persona

One of the biggest shocks the newly retired find is that their previous persona usually was tied closely to their working life – for example ‘I am a partner in a solicitors’. After retirement many people found a terrible sense of loss of their previous identity. You need to develop a new identity, even if it is ‘I don’t know how I ever found time to work’. The only people I talked to who got bored were those who could not find a new persona, and they usually solved this problem by getting themselves a new job – either paid or in the voluntary sector.

Strongly allied to your identity and feelings of self-worth will be your dreams and ambitions. You should not feel that you have to have big dreams and ambitions, but retirement is a time when a lot of people find they have the space to push their lives in new directions. It is important to realise that most retired people have no trouble at all filling their time. Consequently, you may well need to prioritise your activities to give you time to pursue your dreams.

Part of your work persona was the way you dressed for work. Now this has gone you may benefit from developing a new style of dressing for your retirement. As a personal example, I have never worn clothes with such fashionable labels as I now pick up from charity shops – what my wife calls ‘charity shop chic’.

Grow your social network

Your friends and acquaintances will prevent you from becoming lonely, will help you maintain a positive outlook, will be a source of advice and support, will stop you becoming self-centred, and will provide opportunities to get out and enjoy yourself. You need to make the time to stay in touch, offer hospitality and provide advice and support to others. If you are naturally introverted then you need to make a positive effort to make new contacts and maintain existing ones.

Try to be a good listener.

Develop a healthy lifestyle

There is a lot of truth in the saying that ‘you are what you eat’. You now have the time to eat a healthy diet, and to eat the number of calories that given the exercise you take will keep you at a weight that you are happy with. You also have the time to take enough exercise to keep fit and trim. If you do not fancy swimming or working out in a gym then walk – most people can. Everyone I talked to who had tackled their eating habits and their exercise regime felt more energised, had a better self-image, and research shows they are likely to have much longer, more active lives. You know it makes sense!

Understand money issues

Now you have lost your main salary you probably will have to be more careful with money. Time and again, retired people told me how cheaply they now lived. You can reduce your discretionary expenditure, shop more cheaply, organise your car ownership more cost effectively and you do not have many work-related expenses. It is well worth doing at least one budget to see where the money goes – I can guarantee that you will find large savings that can be made easily.

It is little short of a scandal that financial advisers who provide ‘free’ advice make their money from commissions on the products they advise you to buy. This system virtually guarantees that you will not get the best advice.

To counter this I have given a lot of advice and information on how to invest your savings. You need to understand money matters, because once savings are gone they are often impossible to replenish. I have explained how safe investments inevitably will lead to inflation eroding your savings. There is little alternative to investing a substantial part of your savings in the stock market or corporate bonds. Regular saving into the stock market is best, but you need to understand timing issues when you have lump sums to invest or you want to buy corporate bonds. To help you I have explained timing issues in some detail. It is a sad fact of life that often you are best investing when the economic outlook in the stock market seems blackest.

When the stock market drops and your portfolio loses a significant part of its value – do not panic! The stock market is cyclic and it will come back up again eventually (provided you have not done something silly like investing in an investment bubble).

Give your partner space

If you have a partner then your retirement is going to disrupt their life significantly. Just because they enjoyed your company during holidays does not mean that you will not now destroy their established routines. Make sure you do not crowd them and be considerate as you both develop new routines.

You can say no to your family

No matter how much you want to help look after elderly parents and grandchildren, you do not have to be at their beck and call always – you are entitled to your own life as well.

The key to solving many difficult relationship issues is simple – you need to discuss problems openly.

Listen to other family members’ views but also be firm but kind about what you can offer.

As a parent do not expect or demand support from your children. Be pleased and grateful for what is offered. When asking for extra help make it easy for your children to say no. You do not have children so that they can look after you in your old age.

Stay in touch with reality

It is very easy for retired people to become remote from the realities and pressures of the real world. Try to mix with young people and listen to what they have to say. Stay abreast of current events, sample the latest cultural trends and embrace new technology. Try not to become a grumpy old man/woman.

A final word

If there is a golden rule of retirement it is ‘use it or lose it’. The more you do, mentally and physically, the more you will want to do, and the more you will be able to do. Retirement should be the best time of your life, so make sure you make the most of it. This book should help you identify all the good things that are possible, and avoid or solve the problems you will encounter.