Chapter 15
Relaxation techniques at work
Abstract
This topic may seem a little unusual in the context of becoming a better communicator, but relaxation in the workplace is a key factor in being a better collaborator and improve solving interpersonal challenges. In this chapter, Ellen Arnold, who specializes in this area, shares tips and exercises to become more relaxed through yoga, meditation, and breathing to better respond to our fight-or-flight instincts.
Keywords
relaxation
stress prevention
mindfulness
focus
dealing with stress
Ellen Arnold
Work can be stressful. Many of us thrive in this environment, delivering great results while under pressure. When working collaboratively, however, it is often beneficial to remain calm, focused, and open to new ideas.
As humans, we are hard-wired to respond immediately to perceived threats. When we encounter stressful situations at work, such as a disagreement with a coworker, our body often registers this as a threat to our safety, kicking into gear the “fight or flight” response, which can make it difficult to maintain a calm and open frame of mind. Our sympathetic nervous system, which manages the fight-or-flight response, ensures that energy is directed toward those parts of the body that are vital to fleeing or defending oneself from a potential attack in the face of danger.
If you were about to be attacked by a tiger, for example, your heart would begin beating more quickly, moving blood toward the limbs, and away from your immune system and prefrontal cortex, where you do your analytical thinking. Your hearing and peripheral vision would become impaired. Your body would be doing everything it could to equip you to survive the direct threat in front of you.
Throughout evolution, this response has been an invaluable resource. Without that response, it is unlikely you would be reading these words. Faced with a tiger and potential death, it wouldn’t matter that your immune system defended you from a cold, or that your prefrontal cortex allowed you to analyze the situation from the tiger’s point of view. However, in our daily life, the sympathetic nervous system can often kick in when it is not welcome or useful.
Every day, we encounter situations that our mind and body may mistakenly label as threats – criticisms of our work, being left out of a loop. While these situations may seem like life or death at times, they generally require a different set of priorities and direction of energy than the sympathetic nervous system provides. Instead of routing your energy to your limbs, you need to lower your heart rate and maintain a calm, clear mind. You certainly want to be aware of the sounds and sights around you. To do this, you need to activate your parasympathetic nervous system – the part of your nervous system that is responsible for stimulating calmer “rest-and-digest” behaviors. Luckily, there are ways to do this and, in time, you’ll find it just happens naturally. In the same way that the body can affect your mind when encountering a perceived threat, you can learn to use your body to realign your mind more quickly with your actual environment, allowing you to get on with your work more effectively.
In the moment
The flight-or-fight response diverts energy from the exact functions that you need for a successful meeting or workshop. You need to listen and see your colleagues, and you have to be able think analytically about the different needs of the multiple stakeholders in the room. This is nearly impossible if your sympathetic nervous system kicks into high gear. What to do if this happens? Here are some tricks.
Breathe
It sounds simple, but focusing on your breath will help you to stay in the moment and maximize your ability to pause between the stimulus – what your colleague may have just said for example – and your response. Slowing down your breathing and increasing the duration of your exhale will help to kick in your parasympathetic nervous system, enabling you to relax and better handle the situation at hand.
Best for
Calming your mind and regaining focus.
Figure 15.1 Take a moment to breathe. (Photo credit: public domain.)
Time
Whatever you’ve got! Even a few breaths in this manner will help your parasympathetic nervous system kick in. It works even better if you can excuse yourself and take 5 to 10 minutes to relax and breathe better.
The exercise
Focus your attention on your breathing. Notice if it is deep or shallow. Pay attention to the length of the inhale and exhale – are they equal, or is one longer than the other? Feel the air moving in and out through your nostrils. Bringing your attention back to the body will help to calm your mind.
Begin to increase the length of your exhale. Breathe in for a count of 4 and out for a count of 6. If it is comfortable for you, you can increase this to a 1:2 ratio, breathing in for a count of 4 and out for 8. Everyone is different, and this should never be uncomfortable, so find what works for you.
Stay present
Jon Kabat-Zinn1 defines mindfulness as “the awareness that arises by paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and non judgmentally.” By learning to communicate in this manner consistently, you will be better equipped to take in new ideas and work effectively with other people.
Best for
This exercise brings you back into the body and can help stop your mind from running away into potential future conversation.
Time
Depends on the length of your meeting.
Figure 15.2 Stay in the moment. (Photo credit: Martina Hodges-Schell.)
The exercise
Mindful conversation is a technique developed by the legal community, but it can be useful in most situations. It involves three steps: mindful listening, looping, and dipping.
Mindful listening is as simple as it sounds. When someone else is speaking, give them your full attention. If you find your mind has wandered ahead to what you want to say next, or anything else at all, bring your attention back to the speaker. As much as possible, refrain from asking questions or leading the speaker – including through either verbal or facial communication. Give this time completely to the person speaking to allow them to express themselves fully and honestly.
Looping is short for “closing the loop of conversation.” This step ensures that the listener has fully understood what the speaker has conveyed. All you need to do is repeat back what you believe the other person has said, and allow them to correct any misunderstandings. It’s that easy.
Dipping, the third and final step in mindful conversation, helps you avoid getting distracted by internal thoughts and feelings. It’s just an internal check-in with yourself to see how you are feeling or reacting to what is being said. By doing this preemptively, you can help to prevent your mind from wandering away while the other person is speaking.
Fake it till you become it
Although not necessarily a relaxation technique, your nonverbal communication affects the way others perceive you and, more importantly, the way that you perceive yourself. The way you hold yourself, your postures, and your gestures, directly affect the way you communicate and participate in a group setting.
According to Amy Cuddy, a social psychologist at Harvard University, more-confident body posture has been directly linked to higher participation rates in group environments. People holding confident body postures have higher testosterone levels and lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol. This combination makes you feel more confident, which enables you to participate more authentically. In other words, by changing the way you hold your body, you literally change your mind and therefore your behavior.
Figure 15.3 Fake it till you become it. (Photo credit: public domain.)
Confident postures take up space. The feet will be squarely on the floor, the shoulders back, and the arms wide open. The gestures will be direct and assertive. Conversely, a less-confident posture will take up as little space as possible, and often appear closed off and defensive. The arms and legs may be crossed, and the shoulders may be hunched over. This type of posture will trigger your body to decrease testosterone and increase cortisol – the exact opposite of what you want to happen!
Best for
Addressing your physical posture to influence your self-esteem.
Time
2 minutes
The exercise
Before a big meeting, find a space to yourself – the bathroom often works well. Take an assertive posture: shoulders back, shoulders in line over hips, both feet on ground. Raise your hands in victory position above your head. Think of a champion runner who has just crossed the finish line – that’s pretty much what you’re going for here.
During the meeting itself, remember to maintain your confident stance (maybe without the “victory” arms). If you find yourself slouching, pull your shoulders back and down. Over time, you will find that you don’t need to think about this – you will naturally carry yourself more confidently, which, in turn, will help you communicate more effectively.
Lifestyle
Although small changes in the moment can lead to great benefits, supportive changes in your lifestyle can make these benefits even more significant and long-lasting.
Eat for well-being
The way you eat affects everything else you do. It can make you feel energized and increase mental facility, or it can make you feel sluggish and confused. There are a million different diets out there, and each person has different needs. There is no perfect diet that will work for everyone. There are, however, a few basic guidelines that can help keep your mind and body functioning more effectively.
Best for
Everyone, all the time.
Figure 15.4 A better diet improves your well-being. (Photo credit: Martina Hodges-Schell.)
Get more of
Fatty fish, such as salmon and sardines, are full of Omega 3, which helps to increase brain function as well as general well being.
Whole grains with a low glycemic index (GI) will give you slow-releasing energy to even out the peak-and-slump effect of consuming sugar.
Fruits and vegetables, blueberries in particular, help protect the brain from oxidative stress and may also help to prevent age-related conditions such as Alzheimer’s and dementia. Broccoli and kale are also full of vitamins and nutrients to keep you healthy and focused.
Nuts and seeds are full of vitamin E, which helps protect against cognitive decline.
Water, water, and more water!
Avoid
Sugar, caffeine, and processed foods. The motivation is understandable: James used to survive afternoons at a busy agency in London by eating a bag of Gummi bears and drinking black coffee. What happens when you eat these types of food, though, is a shock to the system – it gets a hit of sugar and/or caffeine, followed by a crash... which leaves you craving more sugar and/or caffeine. These peaks and troughs are tough on your body, and they are not great for your work effectiveness, either!
Meditation
Research has shown that as little as 12 minutes of mediation a day will start to restructure the neural pathways in your brain, helping you maintain focus and stay in the moment. By adding this to your daily routine, you will find that techniques such as “Stay present” and “Breathe” happen without you thinking about it.
Figure 15.5 Find a quiet corner to meditate. (Photo credit: Martina Hodges-Schell.)
Best for
Increasing your capacity to focus and stay present.
Time
12–60 minutes.
The exercise
Find a comfortable seated position. This can be sitting cross-legged on a cushion, or in a chair with your feet flat on the ground and your spine straight. Your posture should be comfortable, but alert.
Close your eyes and settle into your body.
Bring your attention to your breathing. Don’t try to change it; just follow the inhale and the exhale. From time to time, you may find that your mind has wandered. Bring it back to your breath. The point of this exercise is not to rid your mind of all thoughts; it is to strengthen your ability to focus. Each time you guide your attention back to your breathing, you are doing just that.
It is more important to make this a regular part of your routine than to sit for a prolonged amount of time. Meditating for 12 minutes a day, every day, will have a bigger impact than meditating once a week for an hour.
Yoga
Yoga means yoke or union. The purpose of yoga, according to its earliest practitioners, is the stilling of the mind. As with meditation, yoga helps the practitioner to remain calm, centered, and focused during their daily lives. Yoga is particularly powerful as it addresses both the mind and the body. By tying breath to movement, it becomes a moving meditation allowing you to calm your mind, while also stretching and strengthening your body.
Figure 15.6 Yoga. (Photo credit: Ellen Arnold.)
Best for
There are many different styles of yoga. A restorative class is relaxing and a wonderful antidote to a stressful day. A vinyasa class will be faster-paced, more energizing, and invigorating. It’s a good idea to explore a number of different classes and styles to find what works for you.
Time
A typical yoga class will be between 60–90 minutes.
The exercise
It is very important to learn proper alignment of the yoga poses to avoid injury. We highly recommend that you find a teacher near you if you have minimal exposure to yoga.
Here are a few poses you can try to help calm the nervous system.
Tree pose
When you are calm, you have better balance. Conversely, practicing balance poses can also help increase calm and lower anxiety.
Stand with your feet the distance of the inner hip distance. Your hips should be directly over your ankles, and your shoulders in line with them both. Roll your shoulders down and back. Your arms should be by your side, with the palms facing forward.
Slowly shift your weight onto your left foot, lifting your right foot off the ground and placing the sole of your foot on either the calf or thigh of your left leg. Avoid placing it on the knee, as this could cause injury.
Inhale and raise your hands above your head, forming a V. If your shoulders have risen during this movement, bring them back down again, while extending out through your arms. To really test your balance, close your eyes. Breathe.
After 10 breaths, exhale and let your hands and foot down. Repeat on the other side.
Seated forward fold
Forward folds help trigger the parasympathetic nervous system.
Sit on the ground with your legs straight out in front of you. Ensure that both of your sit bones (the parts of your pelvis that your buttocks cover) are firmly grounded into the floor.
Inhale and raise your arms above your head, and exhale to fold forward, over your legs. Allow your hands to rest where they fall – it doesn’t matter if they reach your feet; you will feel the benefits of the pose regardless. Ensure that you still have a natural curve in your lower back, and that your upper back is not rounding. This may mean that you are nearly vertical, which is okay! You will still benefit from the pose.
Child’s pose
This is a calming and grounding posture, often used as a resting pose in a yoga sequence.
Kneel on the floor, with your toes touching and your knees as wide as your yoga mat. Sit back on your heels while reaching forward with your arms and resting your forehead on the ground. You may leave your arms stretched out in front of you on the ground, or bring them back alongside your body, reaching toward your feet. Try both to find what feels better for you.
About the author
Our friend and former colleague Ellen Arnold contributed this chapter. She specializes in relaxation in the workplace and wants us all to be happier and healthier in the office. An integrative yoga instructor and graduate of the University of California, Berkeley, Ellen is based in San Francisco, CA.
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