CHAPTER 9
Warm up your mind
Do you typically find yourself running from one meeting at work to another (whether these meetings are online or in person), with very little time to think about what you need to say in the meeting, much less what you want to achieve?
When it comes to presenting with confidence, you can do a number of clever things to prepare yourself. This chapter explains how to get ready for an exceptional virtual or face-to-face presentation.
Yes, unfortunately, you do need to rehearse
If you are nervous about going blank, or waffling on, or getting pulled off track by strong audience members, or if you're keen to come across as a confident, engaging and compelling presenter, it's a good idea to warm up your mind and rehearse before presenting. In my experience, exceptional presenters rehearse! And then they rehearse and then they rehearse. They take a leaf out of civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr's book: ‘Whatever your life's work is, do it well. A man should do his job so well that the living, the dead and the unborn could do it no better.' Gender bias aside, you get the point — exceptional presenters rehearse until they can't get it wrong. A typical executive who engages me to coach them would rehearse (especially their opening and close) between 50 and 100 times for important events.
Now I can hear you saying, ‘Really? 100 times?' As William Shakespeare said, ‘All things are ready, if our minds be so.' Don't be intimidated by this rehearsal number, just know this is what exceptional presenters do. If you want to be exceptional, you need to do it too. And don't worry about it needing to be 100 formal rehearsals: all those little practices you do in the car, the shower and walking around the supermarket count towards knowing what you want to say. Just remember — the more you run through your presentation, the clearer and more seamless your delivery will be, and the more you will embed your message with your audience. Interestingly, the more you rehearse, the more unscripted, natural and authentic you will sound.
Rehearsing versus rote learning
Rehearsing is not the same as rote learning your presentation. Rote learning is where you learn your script word for word. It's the way many of us learned our multiplication tables, for instance. This method is not recommended for presenters because of the way our brains work. Research by cognitive psychologist George A Miller asserts that our brain can only remember between five and nine things at once, so rote learning only works when you have loads of time to practice. (Or, like the Australian households of the 1970s and the old times-tables charts many of us grew up with, you have a copy of your script on the back of your toilet door!)
Rehearsing is where you run through your key messages over and over again, so you embed the general gist of your message. (Sometimes the result is that you will end up, almost accidentally, committing some of the parts of your message to memory.)
While you may inadvertently memorise some of your content, you will find that, with rehearsal, you deliver most of your message in a different way each time and the result is that you sound more natural. I am guessing that you are too busy in your life to try to completely rote learn your presentations before delivery.
How to rehearse
I suggest you find a variety of places to practise your presentations. The greater the number of locations you rehearse in, the more comfortable you will feel presenting in the actual location of your presentation — no matter where it is. Book a variety of meeting rooms over the course of a week at work if you're in the office; have a few turns in front of your bathroom mirror at home; go out into the garden for a practice if you can; and then try delivering your message in a variety of other rooms in your home. I know — it sounds a bit crazy, doesn't it? Well, it works!
Exceptional presenters rehearse and rehearse and rehearse. They rehearse until they can't get it wrong. And that's why they get such awesome results!
Using the power of your mind to manage your nerves
Many of the best presenters use the power of positive thinking before they present. They imagine themselves as successful, confident, engaging presenters, and are often delighted with the results. Others imagine themselves as something or someone else. (Remember — this technique is about finding the parts of you that you want to emphasise. You should never try to deceive your audience and pretend to be something or someone you are not.)
Let's look at some examples:
- A tall guy with a massive ego projected an image of a gentle giant onto his stage before presenting.
- A fellow with an irritating accent projected the image of a gorgeous, handsome, charismatic presenter.
- A woman I know thinks of the warm rays of the sun and instantly feels the warmth in her personality coming through.
- A friend of mine who is a fellow presenter watches Jim Carrey movies before an event, and he says this makes him more entertaining.
Another aspect of positive thinking in your presentation is the way you choose to describe the nervousness. Have you ever stopped to think that, whether you are nervous or excited, you have exactly the same physiological experience? In fact, the only thing that determines whether it's a negative or positive experience is the word you choose to use to describe it. As William Shakespeare said, ‘There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so'.
If you have ever been bungy jumping, abseiling, parachuting, white-water rafting, climbing, caving, scuba diving or parasailing, you know full well that people pay money to experience the feeling we get when we present!
And when they are doing those adventure-type sports, they don't call the feeling nervousness. They call it excitement, energy, exhilaration, thrill, joy, arousal, pleasure, stimulation or enthusiasm.
Handy tip: In our family we call this feeling ‘funny tummy', and we even draw a smiley face on our stomachs with washable bath crayons (yes, I know — too much fun!) to reframe how we feel in the moment! It's so clever because it reframes in our minds that the experience most people call nervousness is, in fact, a positive thing. I've been known to ask executives I work with to draw smiley faces on their stomachs too! It is bizarre. It works — it makes them relax and smile. And, by the way — there's something quite funny about knowing you have a smiley face drawn under your business shirt that no-one knows is there!
Which word will you choose?
The question to ask yourself is this: which word do you want to use? If you continue to call the feeling before you present nervousness, I'm not sure you're really that serious about making presenting an enjoyable experience for yourself.
Remember, one definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result! So it's quite simple really: change the word and change the experience. Go on — do it right now!
Changing the word and calling it ‘funny tummy' (or whatever word you prefer) doesn't mean you won't feel the adrenaline. You know, we have the genes of cave dwellers and you'll still get the fight or flight response. The good news is that giving it a different name, like ‘funny tummy', really works! It makes you relax and smile.
Understanding the impact of personality on nervousness
Another advanced technique is available for reducing your nerves, maintaining your ability to convey your message and improving your ability to present and achieve results.
You may know that we each have a different combination of personality filters that make up who we are. These filters can put labels on our differences and help us to understand why people act the way they do.
Working out our own filters enables us to have self-respect and self-confidence. This enhanced self-acceptance empowers us to make necessary changes to the way we approach people and tasks. It gives us a greater ability to devise strategies for dealing with difficult or frustrating people and situations, and allows us to communicate with others more effectively.
The filter I am going to explain to you is called the ‘standards sort' — it determines the way you approach tasks. I bet you'll have a bit of a laugh at yourself (or your boss, colleagues or partner) as you keep reading.
Which one are you: perfect or excellent?
If you have what is known as a ‘perfection sort', you look for perfection — an absence of flaws or mistakes. You drive for high standards and remarkable performances. And you find it easy to see a flaw in your own performance and in the performance of others.
You can tend to set unrealistically high goals and short time frames, and prefer to view the end product as the criteria for assessment. You need to complete tasks in a way that satisfies your criteria perfectly.
You tend to treat yourself and others with harsh judgement for any shortcomings. You typically have a future orientation, which can be obsessive. You can feel continually frustrated and dissatisfied. And, sadly, if you have a perfectionist sort, anything less than perfect equals failure. This puts you under a considerable amount of pressure.
If you have what is known as an ‘excellence sort', you will be looking for the best you can do with the circumstances and situations that present. You look for what can work. You do the best with what you have and are happy with that. You tend to set goals in small steps, so you can appreciate the progress and successes along the way, and operate practically and pragmatically with goals. You will view the process and journey as being as important as the end product — life is a journey, not a destination! You are not too tough on yourself and appreciate the diverse variables in the process. The downside of an excellence sort is that you can deny what is really happening, ignore the real problems and constraints, and lose sight of the big picture. You sometimes have a lack of drive and motivation and, as a result, can suffer from low standards and a ‘near enough is good enough' attitude.
Most people are stuck with the personality filters they have! Experts suggest that a significant life event or lots of personal effort is required to shift your filters or preferences. So that means, regardless of whether your preference is a perfection or excellence sort — good for you, enjoy it. Make the most of it, because they both have strengths and weaknesses. Be sure to manage yourself so you and the people around you get you at your best.
You can change something related to your standards sort, and this is the magic key to nerve-free presenting!
Is your apple rotten?
We all have a core question. Your core question is the question that drives you and determines your attitude to the task at hand. Combine your understanding of perfection or excellence with your core question and you have the answer to reducing your nerves and enjoying presenting in business!
Here's how it works. If you have a perfection filter, your core question is more likely to be driving for a perfect result. For example, ‘How can I be perfect?' ‘Will I be the best in the room?' How can I make sure I don't stuff anything up?' These are retracted, self-focused core questions that will put the focus back on you and will make you nervous.
If you have an excellence filter, your core question is more likely to be driving you to do the best you can with what you have. For example, ‘How can I do the best I can today for this group, knowing what I know?' or ‘How can I help these people better understand?' You can hear the acceptance that you should try your best and you can only do what you can do. These are extended, others-focused core questions that will maintain your focus on the audience and reduce your nerves.
Changing your core question
You can, most definitely, change your core question and devise one that works for you. Regardless of whether your preference is perfection or excellence, you can choose to have an audience-focused, excellence core question. Why not plan one right now for your future presentations?