9

Is There Another Way?

Confront Your Hardest-Held Positions

WHEN IT COMES to getting input on how you’re showing up as a leader, you have two primary sources. The best source, of course, is other people who have experienced your leadership. This section of the book has included several techniques for collecting and internalizing that feedback, and you would do well to use them all to get a full picture of your strengths and opportunities. It may not be easy, but hey, it’s only your career that’s at stake, right? You need to do this—understanding how others see you is one of the best ways to take charge of your own development.

The second source of input might prove even more challenging because that source is you. Why is this so difficult? Because it’s hard to be brutally honest about your own leadership skills. Just as most of us believe we’re better drivers than we really are, most of us think we’re better leaders than we actually are. However, if you’ve read the chapters in this section, you’re well on your way to carrying out some serious self-reflection. Thus far, you’ve taken a hard look at your relationships and examined where you have an opportunity to improve your network (Chapter 2). Ideally, you were honest with yourself about where (and why) you need to work on certain relationships. You’ve also assessed your strengths to see what you can truly leverage to be a better leader (Chapter 7). Again, taking stock of your strengths involves being candid about what you do really well—reserve this category for those behaviors that truly stand out.

What Are You Absolutely Sure Of?

There’s another self-reflection exercise that helps you assess your leadership brand, and this one might be the hardest yet. Make a list of your most rigid, hardened opinions or positions and see if there is something you can do about becoming more open and flexible. Take a long, constructive look at your most sharply drawn points of view, and see if they’re still valid and useful. All of us have developed thought patterns over the years that guide our behaviors. Do you have any inflexible beliefs or attitudes? Are there any strong opinions that seem to be holding you back? Do you frequently get into debates or arguments about certain topics, where other people find you stubborn or closed off to reasonable conversations? For this to work, you need to be completely honest with yourself. Go find that magic mirror that gives you the real view of yourself—you’ll need it for this exercise. The phrase “the truth will set you free” aptly applies here; if you can put your most strict beliefs on the table for consideration, anything’s possible in terms of your growth as a leader.

Though the reason for this exercise may be obvious to some, it deserves elaboration. Great leaders consider all sides of an issue when setting strategy or making decisions. In a word, they’re open-minded. They listen to different points of view and are willing to change their position if the facts are compelling enough. As a result, people generally love working for them, because they know their voices will be heard. Yes, the boss may make the final call, but when he or she is open to other ways of looking at things, others get a chance to take part in the discussion. As a leader, you have to develop the ability to listen to others’ opinions, especially when they differ from yours, when considering a path of action. You can’t afford to be so resolute in your point of view that you’re not willing to modify it; that’s a leadership train wreck waiting to happen.

In my own career, there have been a few instances where my own stubbornness has gotten in the way of working effectively with others. One clear example comes to mind: It was a time when my inflexibility cost me precious leadership capital. For many years, I had a long-standing belief that executive assessments weren’t appropriate for internal promotional candidates. My position, which I persistently defended, was that putting current executives through a formal assessment center was a poor substitute for the data we had accumulated on them to-date. In short, I felt promotions should be a by-product of the employee’s track record at the company. To my detriment, I wouldn’t budge from this point of view in discussions with my boss or other senior leaders. As a result, I lost some credibility as an expert and wasn’t seen as a mature participant in this specific debate. My inability to see other possibilities or scenarios led to this discussion dying a slow death; we never did execute a formal assessment process for promotional candidates. Nevertheless, I still lost something. By holding on to my position with unwavering resolve, I cost myself a seat at future tables for these types of conversations and closed off an important avenue that my company might have otherwise explored. Why was I so stubborn? I can’t fully explain it. I do know that it didn’t make me look very professional, and I can appreciate now what I might have gained in the long run by being more flexible and open-minded.

So what’s on your list of hardened positions? Do you have any rigid and inflexible beliefs? Are you “dug in” anywhere? As the leader, are you closing off discussions with your team because of your established opinions? Can you ever recall saying: “We tried that, it didn’t work” or “We’ve always done it this way”? Maybe you’ve always had a bias against a particular tool or piece of software. Perhaps you harbor a personal view concerning your boss or a peer, which can be the most hardened position of all. In such cases, you may not consider others’ points of view because you just can’t bear to look at it from their perspective; there’s no trust or respect left that allows that to happen. Or, maybe it’s a philosophical issue; you simply feel a certain way and aren’t willing to consider alternative positions. Be aware that these are dangerous corners to back yourself into; don’t allow your own strict ideologies to close you off to new and different viewpoints.

Make the List Work for You

So, are there any positions you want to rethink before declaring yourself the world’s expert? Try this exercise: Write “My Inflexible Positions” at the top left-hand side of the page and begin to fill them in, numbering them as you go. Don’t stop writing until you’ve listed every hardened belief, attitude, and position you currently carry around in your head. Then, write “Other Possible Realities” at the top right-hand side of the page and list two or three alternatives for each of your inflexible positions. Get on the other side of the argument and write down other potential points of view.

When you’re done, you’ll have a nice roadmap for what you need to be open to in future discussions. You’ll even have a head start to recognizing what the other positions look like. Then, watch your team’s reaction the first time you say: “I’m open to discussing this; what are some other ways we could solve this issue?” Talk about a leadership transformation!

My advice to you is this: Don’t be the leader who says, “You’re not looking at this the right way.” That’s just intolerant; there are always multiple ways to look at things. Take an honest, objective view of your most unyielding positions at work, and see if you can’t make a little space for a different way of thinking. In other words, widen the lens on how you look at the world; it’s amazing what you can see when you let in more light. Your co-workers will definitely notice, and you’ll probably enjoy the view.

Bootstrap Takeaways

Confront Your Hardest-Held Positions

1. What positions or points of view do you carry around that are completely inflexible? Make a list of all your rigid opinions (and be honest!).

2. Now, what other points of view might be valid? Write down legitimate alternatives to your positions.

3. Open yourself to “possibility thinking.” This is the art of looking at an issue from many different angles before settling on your point of view.