1. Who Responds First, And How Fast?

When you are making an introduction, the person who asked to be introduced (the “requestor”) or the more junior person should respond first. I find that about 98 percent of the time, the “requestor” is also the more junior person.

The “requestor” should respond within one business day of the introduction being made. There should be no excuses. If you are the one who made the request for the introduction, you should respond promptly, thoughtfully, and politely once you get the introduction.

2. Double Opt-in Introductions Only

Cold, blind introductions are awful. Introductions must require both sides to opt-in. The only exception to this would be a no-brainer that everyone would respond to—for example, “Bill Gates wants to invest in/buy your company…”

It's a huge problem when someone makes an introduction to you and doesn't get your approval first. Now that person has put the burden on you to either respond or look like a jerk.

If someone asks you to make an introduction, reply with, “Sure. Can you send me some context I can forward along? I'd be happy to make the introduction if the person is interested in chatting with you.”

Then send that along, and give an endorsement of your own if you'd like. Once the person says, “Sure. Please make the introduction.” you can connect the two individuals.

3. Don't Flake Out

Once a double opt-in status has been made and both parties agree to the introduction, the responsibility lies with the requestor to respond promptly. It makes the connector look bad if the ball is dropped after the introduction has been made.

If you're too busy to follow these guidelines, don't opt-in. It will save everyone's time.

4. Move the Connector to Bcc Status

After the first reply on either side has been made, it is up to the people who were introduced to move the connector, or the person who made the introduction, to blind carbon copy (Bcc) status immediately, unless for some reason you want that person to stay involved in the conversation.

Example:

Thanks for the introduction, Bubba! (Bcc'd)

Hey [name], it was nice to meet…

5. Context

As I mentioned in number 2, if you want an introduction, you must provide the connector with some context or information that he or she can forward or pass along.

Example:

Hey Max,

I see you know [name], and if possible, I'd love an introduction so that I can ask [him/her] how [he/she] navigates the process around [challenge] and potentially use [his/her] services. Is there any chance you can do this for me? Here's something you can send [his/her] way.

My good friend [requestor] is working on X and is interested in connecting with you regarding [challenge] and your company's services. Would you be open to connecting with me and providing and introduction?

Then, if I were to forward this, I would add my endorsement at the end:

I think the connection would be mutually beneficial. [He/she] is really dialed-in…

Note: I like the term dialed-in because of what it implies: it could be interpreted that the requester is both intelligent and connected.

6. Make Introductions Mutually Beneficial

This is important! Try to make introductions only when you truly believe there's real mutual benefit, even if that benefit on one side is in the future.

A subject matter expert in product management could be beneficial to [salesperson] down the line should that salesperson decide to start his or her own company one day. If you know that [salesperson] has expressed interest in being a founder, then it could be mutually beneficial later on.

• If I introduce a potential investor to a company, I better believe that that company is going to do well and that the potential investor is a person of high integrity.
• If I introduce a potential sales hire to a company, I better believe in both the potential sales hire and the company.
• If I introduce a potential client to a company, I better believe the company can produce!

7. Close the Loop

A good connector will circle back later and see if the parties have connected: “How did it go?” If the parties never connected, be sure to ask why. You may not want to vouch for that person again if he or she made you look bad by standing someone up.

8. Say “Thanks!”

As the requestor, thank the connector. Help the connector close the loop and report back to them what happened with the connection. If the introduction went very well, send a gift or some type of thank-you.

Sometimes when I get a gift for something I've done that makes me feel appreciated, I keep that person and his or her company at the top of my list for a while. This means that I start looking out for the person and I talk about him or her to others. Sometimes I do this without realizing it. For the business I'm in, this can prove to be very important for the person or company that thanked me.

Example: You received an introduction to an investor, and then the investor invested in your next round of funding. Or, you received an introduction to a potential client, and the potential client just signed the deal. You should send a gift basket or something even better.

9. Be Thoughtful, and Customize the Introductory E-mail

The best connectors and the most connected people I know write very thoughtful introductions. It's not just a task on their to-do list.

Being thoughtful in an introduction starts a new relationship off in the right way. Often, both parties end up talking about how awesome you are when they first connect for a conversation. You win, and they win!

Add some nice context about the people and the scenario. But don't write a novel.

Here is an example from my friend, Adam Liebman, of an introduction he sent me.

Chris, meet Max. Max, meet Chris.

Chris is currently an Associate Vice President at Mimeo, where, among other things, he helps his team to use sales tools to absolutely crush it. Chris and I worked together at Yext, and he's the first guy I would try to hire if I needed a sales leader.

Max is a man of many talents, including throwing the Sales Hacker Conferences all over the country. He also just published his first book, Hacking Sales, and is the man behind the idea of a “Sales Stack.”

The two of you know more about sales and the tools that make sales easier than just about any other people I know. I think you'll both enjoy connecting, and I hope you get a chance to do so soon. I know Max is going to be in town next week for the next conference. Maybe all of us can find a way to get together.

I will let you two take it from there.

Cheers!

This is a great introduction. It made me excited to meet Chris, flattered me, which naturally makes me like Adam even more, and gives good context. It's too long, but in this particular case, it worked.

I think for this point more than any other, you need to “read the room.” For example, for introductions to investors, it's probably best to keep them very short because their in-boxes are busier than most.

10. Provide Value

Once you've been introduced and you're looking to connect with the person, provide value, even if it's only a free lunch or drinks. If you do any research beforehand, you'll be able to provide more value because you'll know what resonates with the person.

Here is an example. Perhaps you meet with someone who is more senior than you in your profession. Professionally, you fear that there's nothing of value you can offer, and maybe you're right. But, when you do some research on Twitter, LinkedIn, and Google, you find out that the person flies planes as a hobby, and you have some background in that. Now you can provide value when you meet, which will strengthen the relationship and ultimately make the connector look good.

Lastly, if the prospect whom you want to meet is busy, be understanding. Offer to contact the person at a better time if necessary.

If you do get introduced to someone, and you are too busy to meet the person but don't feel comfortable saying no, just tell the truth. Here is an example:

Hey [name],

Thanks for getting in touch. I'm swamped with [task] right now and am really behind in my work. Can you ping me again in two weeks, and we can get something arranged when I know where I'm at? Thanks for understanding,

Nobody can be mad at that, and it puts the ball back in his or her court to follow up in two weeks. Also, it's very polite. And it helps you know who really wants to connect with you, because quite a few people will forget to follow up.

Follow these rules of introduction etiquette, and you'll be in good standing with your peers in the industry. After all, being a connector starts with being able to connect people properly. Just go the extra mile, and reap all the benefits. Your network will thank you.

Know How to Sell It

We now come back to the phrasing we discussed earlier in this book. Consider the following request:

Hey Stan,

I'm about to start applying for jobs. Do you think there's a position open for me at your company?

as opposed to this request:

Hey Stan,

I'm fielding offers and have some great opportunities lined up, but I'd love to find a way to work with you. Are there any openings we should discuss?

Which phrasing do you think will work more in your favor? Clearly, the second one makes you look better and will leave a lasting impression on the recipient.