In this chapter you’ll find out what’s more addictive than crack cocaine, learn to love ‘no’, be happy to take on extra work from your boss and know what to do with the Time Bandits.

Time Bandits

‘Have you got a minute?’ is one of the most understated requests ever. What these people should actually say is, ‘I would like to take an unexpected 40 minutes of your valuable time. Is that OK?’

And if they did ask that, what would you say?

Time Bandits are the worst type of distraction. It’s much easier to deal with things than people.

So here’s how you do it.

If you can – hide! Yes, hide away from the Time Bandits. Move your desk, add some screens, stay at home, screen your phone calls and close the door. Out of sight, out of mind!

It’s a good idea to spot the different types of Time Bandit and have a response ready for each.

The Gossip

They normally start with something like, ‘Have you heard?’, and as soon as you say ‘What?’ you’ve given them permission for hours of ear bending.

We had a cleaner in our office who was a master of this. She would say things like, ‘I’m absolutely exhausted after what happened last night’, then wait . . . She knew someone would say, ‘Oh, what was it?’ Then the 30-minute-plus story would unfurl!

Solution – Ignore them. Don’t give them the opening they’re looking for.

The Moaner

They are looking for allies. They want to tell you what’s wrong then have you agree with them so they feel better. The challenge is the more they moan and the more you agree the more they moan. And once they know they have found an ally they’ll keep coming back.

Solution – Say, ‘Listen, I’m sorry to hear that but I can’t discuss it with you right now, as I’ve got to get this finished/I’m already late/I’m up to my neck today.’ If you do this while moving it has extra impact.

The Apprentice

They are looking for advice. You feel flattered that they came to you for help once and afterwards you said enthusiastically, ‘Any time, my door is always open.’ And now you regret it.

Solution – Say, ‘Here’s what I’d like you to do. Think it through, come up with a solution and then find me later and share the solution.’

The Historian

They always have an example of something from the past, which they carefully prise into the conversation. It’s amazing that they can reference even the most tenuous link in order to tell their version of what’s happened, happening or about to happen.

Solution – A nice firm, ‘Really? Gosh. Sorry, got to go’ followed by a ‘See you later’ usually does the trick.

Saying ‘no’ nicely

In the brilliant book and good film Yes Man (author Danny Wallace, director Peyton Reed) the main character is encouraged to say ‘yes’ more often. And by embracing this new mantra he opens his life to new opportunity, job promotion and even love!

The challenge is you currently say ‘yes’ too often. That’s one of the reasons you’re reading this book. You take on too much, you’re terrified that you might let people down and in the end it’s costing you hours. It’s time for you to embrace ‘no’!

I can’t tell you how difficult it was to write that last sentence as it screams negativity. However, if you really are going to save an hour every day then learning how to say ‘no’ (and doing it nicely) is going to be a powerful tool in your time-saving armoury.

The act of saying ‘no’ is simple; it takes a second. It’s not saying ‘no’ that bothers you, it’s the consequences that concern you. So you’ll need to learn how to say ‘no’ and come out at the other end smelling of roses.

Here’s how:

1. Give a positive initial reaction. But don’t say ‘yes’. You can do this by using words and phrases such as:

   Thank you for asking me . . .

   That sounds interesting . . .

   I’m honoured to be asked . . .

   That’s really kind . . .

2. Avoid ‘but’, it’s one of those words which carries negative connotations. Instead use words like ‘and’, and ‘however’.
3. Get smart with your response. My favourite is to explain that as much as I would love to help/take up the challenge, etc., I’d like to politely decline as I am really focused on ___ (fill in the gap) and it wouldn’t be fair on those people I’ve already committed to for me to take on any more.

Leave a positive lasting impression. This could be ‘Good luck, let me know how you get on’, etc. Don’t say, ‘Ask me again some other time’ or ‘I’d love to get involved later’, or you may be persuaded to get involved sooner than you think.

Here’s how a conversation may sound between you and a Time Bandit who would just love an hour or ten of your valuable time:

OK, that’s all very nice, but what if your boss or a colleague asks? A quick reminder of the introduction of this book: these techniques are for people who are ‘maxed’ and need to find time. It’s not for the lazy who are looking for an easy life or for shirkers who don’t do their fair share.

Here’s how to say ‘no’ nicely to your boss. See if you can spot the four magic words in this conversation.

Did you spot the magic words? ‘I need your help’. Pace is the key here. If you wait even half an hour after you have been asked to take on additional responsibility before you go back to your boss, you’ve lost the moment.

Test this out with some small things first. This could be at home with family or when colleagues are asking you to do something at work. The more you practice the more confident you become. Here are a couple of examples to get you started.

At home:

Or at work:

Be playful with this idea. Perhaps you’re already good at asking for help. Great – ask for more. If you’re not then learn how to do it today so you’ll be prepared and ready for action tomorrow.

Facebook, Twitter and social media

OK, I admit it. I am on Facebook (www.facebook.com/michaelheppellltd) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/michaelheppell) and by the time you read this book there will be yet more new social media technology designed to sap our time.

I’m on Facebook and Twitter because I like to communicate. A few months ago, just for fun, I decided to see what would happen if I didn’t update my status, read others’ announcements or participate in any way at all with social media activity. I challenged myself to do it for two weeks.

The results? No one missed me, not a soul. No one had written on my wall asking if I was well? Not a single direct Twitter message was sent to ask if I’d stopped ‘tweeting’. It made no difference to the world, cyber or real.

Now, I have an ego, so I was hurt for a few minutes before I decided to ‘Flip It’ and find the positive. And the positive was relief. The amount of time you spend on Facebook or Twitter only matters to . . . you! No one else cares if you visit once an hour or once a month. Now isn’t that a relief?

With that startling fact in mind, what are you going to do to wean yourself from this addiction? Oh, you’re not addicted? Answer these questions:

• What is the first website you visit when you turn on your computer?
• How many times a week (or day) do you visit your pages on Twitter or Facebook?
• Do you have your favourite social media sites loaded as an application on your mobile phone?
• Have you ever been so busy looking at your social media page that you haven’t heard someone (real and standing next to you) speak?

And if you think they are addictive and take a lot of time then let me introduce you to the crack cocaine of the virtual world: online games.

At this point I’d like to make a confession. In researching this chapter I thought I would have a look at some of the online games people play. Running farms, building mafia crews and creating magic kingdoms didn’t appeal to me but I did like the look of one game which involved managing a virtual city. How much harm could it do just to spend 10 minutes checking it out?

I’ll tell you how much. Three weeks later I was waking up in the middle of the night to check my ‘status’, logging in up to 20 times a day to collect golden coins and build new parkland (because the citizens demanded it) and ensuring my factories were on full production manufacturing popsicles and video games!

When my family dared to suggest I was addicted I insisted it was recreational, just for fun and they should mind their own business.

My wife hinted that if it’s not important then I should demonstrate that and delete it. I said no problem, I will . . . tomorrow.

I had the behaviour of an addict and, as much as I thought I could cut down, I knew what I had to do . . . go cold turkey. And so I did.

Does that description of the addict sound familiar? If so, you must do the same. I’ll be with you, stay strong, press delete, erase your profile and know in your heart that (shout the next bit) IT’S NOT REAL!

No, I’m not suggesting you erase your Facebook page but it really is worthwhile considering how much time you spend online. Set a timer, make a note of how you actually spend time and please delete the online games.

Stand up, step back, switch off

If you catch yourself wasting time with these activities, physically doing something about it is very powerful. And physically is the word here.

The next time you find yourself idling away time on your computer without good reason then stand up, step back and switch off. By starting the process with something physical you are much more likely to see it through rather than just thinking about it. So get out of your seat, take a step back from the situation (not too far) then switch it off.

If you can say something out loud, do. A firm ‘no’ is a good start, or get creative. If you can, shout at yourself, ‘You’re getting sucked in again! Stop! Switch this off and get on with something more useful. DO IT NOW!’

Distractions come in all shapes and sizes, some are big and obvious, they take hours. Others are cunning and small taking a few minutes here and there. The point is they all eat into your day, that’s whether you’re at work or somewhere even more important, when you are at . . .