When it comes to social commerce, Mom was right. Your reputation is easily broken, and once broken, it can be very challenging to repair. In 2014, not only can your reputation take the usual hits, but in the world of social media, anybody can say anything about you from anywhere in the world and keep it up for weeks, even months. Then, their social networks can pick up the insults and spread them even farther. Let’s take a minute to think about that. Chew it around for a few minutes. Swish it around in your mouth so you can get a good taste of it. Okay, now, spit it out. How’d that feel? Not so good, right? Let’s look at a real disaster that struck a small business when a cyberbully decided to take action.

David Isermate owns a local eatery in La Jolla, California. He and his wife, Elle, had been in corporate jobs all their lives. In his mid-forties, David was at the top of his field in personal real estate. As he saw the markets begin to slip, late in 2007, he pulled back on his real estate business and put all of his energies toward fulfilling a lifelong dream. David always wanted to own and operate his own restaurant. By the middle of 2008, when the real estate market was crashing toward the Great Recession, his restaurant was ready to launch.

After navigating a tough first two years through a very bad economy, David and his restaurant came out the other side. Success was his, and by the end of 2011, Elle had left her corporate job to work with David and run the front of the house. David and Elle were doing great things and had a steady stream of customers and patrons. Elle made a special point to check the restaurant reviews every day, and their hard work was paying off. Everything was fantastic! Their customers gave great feedback about how much they enjoyed eating at David’s dream restaurant. That is until one day in particular.

David says that he will never forget that day. It was the week after the July Fourth party he and his family had at the restaurant. A customer came in to the establishment and already seemed a little “inebriated” according to Elle. He was not overly so, but you could tell he had a buzz going on, for sure. He had a young lady with him and Elle seated the two at table 14. The server that night, Angela, said that after ordering a bottle of wine the “gentleman” started getting a little fresh with her. He was actually flirting with the waitstaff right there in front of his date. Angela was a little miffed but did her best to pay no attention to him. By the time the first course was served, the wine was gone and a second bottle was on its way, and this is where things went bad.

Angela was serving the main course when the man grabbed her in a very inappropriate manner. She put the food down, spun around, and told him to stop it. She then ran to the kitchen for support. Flustered and clearly upset, she told David about what happened and what she had been subjected to from the customer at table 14—from now on known as Mr. Asshat. By the time David got to the dining area, he was shocked to see the man arguing with a guy from table 12! Now things had gone way too far. Mr. Asshat had to go. David and a couple of waitstaff broke up the confrontation before it got physical, and David immediately escorted Mr. Asshat to the door. He and his date left without incident, and David thought that would be the end of it.

The next day, David and Elle were going through their routines at work. David was getting things ready for service and Elle was checking the restaurant reviews. She noticed, for the first time, a one-star rating on one of the restaurant review sites. The review spoke about the poor service and the terrible food. After years of great reviews this concerned her, not in an alarming way, but enough to make her match up the food discussed in the review with the tickets from the night before. Lo and behold there it was. The two entrees that the reviewer was complaining about were the same two from Mr. Asshat’s order. The man who had been drinking his meal, without ever actually eating the main course before being evicted, was now leaving bad remarks about the food and the service. No surprise, since clearly, the guy was a complete jerk. She showed the review to David. They talked about the bad scene from the night before and decided to just ignore it.

Unfortunately, Mr. Asshat was not your ordinary jerk, and he wasn’t in the mood to ignore anything. The next day three more negatives showed up for the restaurant on three more review sites. The day after that there were even more! Mr. Asshat had gone directly into cyberbully mode. He was bombing review sites about the restaurant all over the web. David and Elle suddenly had friends, family, and customers asking about it. The reviews had spread clearly beyond anything David and Elle could have anticipated. So, how could one man cause so much havoc?

I wish I could tell you that this is an unusual story, but sorry, it’s not. This type of behavior happens all the time for businesses large and small. Both brick-and-mortar and online stores have to deal with reputation management. That means you do, too. You’ll get comments, both positive and negative, and this is where the information in this chapter applies. If Mr. Asshat decides to shop with you, you’ll be well-prepared to deal with him.

FEEDBACK AND REVIEWS

In Chapter 2 you learned that the King Consumer is not more empowered in this new world of electronic opinion than you are. That’s the good news. The bad news, as you’ve just seen, is that an unreasonable and vindictive King can make for a really lousy week at work. To make the system work effectively for you, you’ll need to first take a good hard look at the system itself.

Back in the early days, when Amazon was primarily a place on the web to buy books, the company instituted a simple review system. By nature, people who buy books like to discuss them, review them, recommend them to their friends. Originally, Amazon’s review system was a simple way for readers and customers to share opinions about what they were buying and reading. The reviews were all listed chronologically, and the simple system worked well—for a while. Like so many simple and good ideas, the Amazon community quickly outgrew the review system.

It’s one thing to list all reviews chronologically when there are no more than a couple of dozen. Someone devoted to finding out about a book would be likely to scroll through a page or two of reviews to get all the positive and negative feedback about a particular title. It’s an entirely different story when a book, a popular one for example, garners several hundreds or even thousands of reviews. At that point, it becomes less likely that reviews beyond the latest couple of dozen will matter. Usually even devoted readers won’t go through the trouble of reading all the reviews, and some of the best ones may have been written long enough in the past to have scrolled off.

When the Amazon marketplace expanded to include all types of products and third-party sellers, the whole chronological review system was no longer sustainable yet, at the same time, it became more popular than ever. Many people check the Amazon reviews for products, even if they don’t plan to make the purchase on Amazon. As we all know, King Consumers want to vet their decisions through the opinions of other shoppers who have already purchased the products and are using them.

That’s when the people at Amazon made a brilliant change to the simple review system. They allowed shoppers on the site to review the reviews! With a simple and discreet button, the company began to ask people, “Was this review helpful to you?” Notice, the question isn’t “Do you agree?” It isn’t, “Was this review good.” It only asks how helpful a particular customer has found this particular review. Since the addition of this question and two simple buttons to reply Yes or No with, reviews are no longer listed in the order in which they were posted. Now, the most helpful reviews are listed first, which includes the top three good reviews and the top three negative reviews. “We can clearly see that promoting the most helpful reviews has increased sales in these categories by 20 percent. One out of every five customers decides to complete the purchase because of the strength of the reviews,” wrote Amazon’s Jared Spool in a 2009 article for User Interface Engineering. Jared estimated the review rating system was responsible for several billion dollars’ worth of new revenue for Amazon.

So, as you can see, reviews both positive and negative can boost your bottom line, too. That is if you know how to cope with the “bad” ones. But first let’s gain some perspective.

MY MOMMY ISN’T 100 PERCENT HAPPY WITH ME

Sad to say, but true. My mommy made me; she pushed me out of her own body. No one on earth loves me, worries about me, cares for me the way she does. It doesn’t matter what I do, she’ll always love me. I was her first-born child, and my spot in her life is set in cement. This still doesn’t mean she’s always happy with me. Sometimes she’s actually pretty dissatisfied with me. Admit it. Yours probably feels the same way about you. If we can’t please our own moms 100 percent of the time, why on earth would we stress over pleasing total strangers with every transaction we make? I came to e-commerce the way so many others did, by selling on eBay. In those early days, so many of us were exploring eBay as nothing more than a hobby. Once I got serious about building an online business, I started to participate in the seller communities. That’s when I started to notice some odd behavior.

Sellers were obsessed with maintaining a 100 percent positive feedback rating. Forget 99 percent, because that represented a failure of some sort. As a matter of fact, my fellow eBay sellers were so obsessed with that number, they would do anything to keep from getting even one negative comment from a buyer. Some of them would hound buyers to remove a negative. Some would turn to eBay in hopes of getting that comment nullified—good luck with that. I knew sellers who offered to refund the entire price of a purchase if the unhappy customer would just remove the negative comment. Some even went so far as to threaten their own customers with retribution! I have to admit, I got sucked into this frenzy, too, but only for about the first one hundred transactions. Then I saw how silly it was.

Let’s look at the numbers. Out of one hundred transactions, only about half of your customers will even bother to leave feedback. Now you’re looking at the opinions of only about 50 percent of your customers. If one person in that group leaves you a negative comment, your feedback rating goes down to 98 percent, a failure according to many eBay sellers. Now, I’m not saying your online reputation isn’t important. Of course it is. Your SEO can falter with poor ratings. Your reputation in the online community is your wallet, and just like your wallet, you need to protect it. But at the same time, you’ll be happier and healthier if you accept that you aren’t going to be 100 percent perfect.

Fortunately, online commerce has matured to a point where customers understand that there are pros and cons to every transaction. When they see a 100 percent rating today, in 2014, it seems suspicious. It’s too perfect. You’ll find that a 99 percent rating is more believable. It’s more in keeping with the imperfections of life in general and transacting business online in particular.

As a matter of fact, 99.5 percent positive feedback means you’re probably paying more attention to the other parts of your business that really are more important. The difference won’t affect your sell-through rate at all. Your efforts are better spent offering easy shipping and return options, or concentrating on your pricing policies, or working on the overall look and feel of your sites, your pictures and descriptions. These are real elements that will result in greater sell-through rates.

Nothing in life is perfect. We’re not 100 percent satisfied with anything: not our bodies, not our marriages, not our democracy, not our choices in our elected officials. Even in nature there are no perfect circles. If nature can’t get things to be 100 percent satisfactory, why would we humans think this is a valid goal? So, absolutely, do whatever you can to safeguard your online reputation, but at the same time, chill out. You’re never going to please every customer in every way with every transaction. Everybody isn’t going to love you, and they’re damn well not going to love you more than your less-than-100-percent-satisfied mom.

POLISH THOSE NEGATIVES

When you do get a negative review or comment, it’s time to jump into scramble mode to make sure the impact of that response is contained. Fortunately, we’ll discuss some solid tools for dealing with them. Before you go from zero to ballistic, be honest. Does this customer have a valid point? Sometimes we get so bogged down in the details of our businesses from our own perspectives, that we forget they may seem quite different from our customers’ points of view. Some of our best business adaptations can evolve from the comments we get from our customers. They are the proven experts when it comes to our policies and processes. Before you get too worked up, ask yourself if this comment or review offers any insights you can use to make your business or service better. If not, then by all means, get busy making the best of a bad review, but remember it’s not personal, so even though it feels that way, don’t take it personally. Losing your temper will only escalate a confrontation with a customer, and you don’t want to turn someone with a problem into your own personal version of Mr. Asshat.

The Magic Words

The first step in any disagreement between merchant and King is to invoke three simple but magical words: I am sorry. Now, before you protest that you’re not really sorry and your King is being a jerk, take a step back. I’m not saying you should use this phrase to accept responsibility or agree with a disgruntled King. I’m saying use it for your own benefit. It’s pretty hard to stay angry with someone who is willing to apologize. In the tens of thousands of transactions I’ve completed throughout the years, I’ve met my share of angry people. Saying a simple “I’m sorry” usually cools the fires in their bellies. I haven’t once said, “I’m sorry we screwed up” unless of course we have actually screwed up.

Here is a list of apologies I’ve used in the past:

I am sorry that you’re unhappy …

I am sorry to hear that your package did not arrive …

I am sorry to learn you gave us the wrong address …

I am sorry you left the package out in the rain and it got ruined …

I am sorry that you thought fuchsia was green …

I am sorry you think that I’m stupid …

I don’t care what the problem is. I always start with these three little words, combined with whatever the particular issue is. All I’m saying is that I empathize with the customer and her concerns, and I’m willing to listen to the issues my King Consumers bring to me. Do this first, and you have a chance to prevent negative comments before they begin. You also get the chance to hear from a King who may actually have a legitimate issue that was your fault. Handling complaints in a respectful and positive manner often turns a potential adversary into a cheerleader. That’s the magic of those three little words.

Remember Who Your Audience Really Is

No matter where your customers comment about your products and services, those comments will reside where the whole world can see them. Your job is, of course, to try to correct any mistakes and smooth ruffled feathers, but it goes beyond that. Your reputation in a world of social commerce is probably more dependent on how you handle problems than it is on how you handle transactions that run smoothly. If your dissatisfied King posts a negative comment on a social network, that comment can go around the world and back again before you get done with your breakfast. So, your job is twofold. Absolutely, do your best to contain the damage, but at the same time, take each comment as an opportunity to show everyone else in the “room” how you handle yourself and your customers. Your response should be 50 percent aimed at the disgruntled individual and 50 percent aimed at everyone else.

That’s all the more reason you need to act like a damned professional when you deal with your Kings. They’re being judged by their peers, but so are you. Let them show their true colors while you focus on presenting yourself in the best light. Be sure to stay true to your values. Be professional with your language. Always explain what you can do, but never try to justify what you can’t do. Don’t even mention it. You don’t want other potential customers focusing on your deficiencies. You want them witnessing your best practices. Preparing in advance can help you with this.

Be sure you know in advance where you’re willing to draw the line and where you’re not willing to let others cross that line. You don’t have to be held hostage by Mr. Asshat, but you also need to be sure no one following this angry exchange thinks you are responsible for it, or even contributing to it. You will be judged by how you respond. The more professionally you behave the more benefit you’ll bring to your reputation. Once again, Mom was right. It is much easier to maintain a good reputation than it is to repair a bad one. Make sure whatever you do when relating to your customers makes you and your business look good. The more experience you gain dealing with these challenges, the more comfortable you’ll be when facing that next unhappy King.

Now, before we move into the next chapter, I thought you’d like to know how David and Elle’s story ended. The couple and their staff at the restaurant had a really bad week after Mr. Asshat decided to stop by the eatery. They worried about the long-term effect of having such negative reviews marking their online reputation. Fortunately, they’d been working hard at running their place, and the regulars who came in were not happy to hear what had happened to their local eatery. Once David and Elle started sharing their story, their regular customers were more than happy to post reviews that put Mr. Asshat’s work into perspective.

SUMO LESSON

I used to worry all the time about getting a negative comment on eBay. The sellers on that platform had me frightened to death that one bad comment would remove my 100 percent feedback. I did everything to keep my 100 percent. I even gave customers free items via refunds just to make them happy!

One day I ran into a true jackass who gave us the wrong delivery address. When he moved from his old place, he updated his address on PayPal, the main conduit for receiving electronic payments for eBay purchases, but neglected to update it on eBay. And because he placed his order on eBay, the system automatically defaulted to his eBay address as the delivery address. No amount of reasoning or explaining could make this guy change his opinion. After nearly two hundred positive feedbacks, I got my first permanent negative!

I thought the world was over and my sales would suffer dramatically. However, exactly the opposite happened. My sales the following week were actually higher than for the previous week. I won’t say we got a boost from having our new 99.9 percent feedback rating, but it clearly didn’t do us any harm. Plus, you can be damn sure I started to sleep easier every night, without the paranoia about what would happen if I got a single negative response. No harm, no foul, and my business did not suffer one bit.

Today I correct my mistakes just as diligently and provide the best service on the web. It is in our business DNA. However I no longer have to worry about Mr. Asshat or his companions. I can show them the door with confidence. I will never be held hostage by any client or customer, because I know that we are doing our best for every King Consumer who shops with us. That feels really good!