I wanted the last chapter of this book to be called “The 50-Point Jump Shot” for a very specific reason. Many fans of MTV will recognize it as a Rock n' Jock basketball reference. Being a staple in those games for the better part of the 90s, I felt it was rather apropos. For those of you who aren't familiar with it, as it sounds, it's a difficult basketball shot at a hoop raised 30 feet in the air. If you make it, it's worth 50 points, and in an instant, you can win a game that seemed all but lost.

Having experienced many of the extreme highs and lows that life has to offer, I've chosen to look at the 50-point jump shot from more of a “Dan” perspective. Metaphorically speaking, I see it as a beacon of hope for anyone who's ever considered giving up. By that I mean, no matter how far behind you may feel you are in life or when all hope seems lost, the fact is, you're never truly out of the game. Unfortunately, more often than not we become so consumed with how bad we think our lives are that we don't realize it only takes one shot to drop and we're right back in it.

It doesn't matter how desperate or impossible the shot may seem. You can't make it if you don't take it. I took one when I was 22 and moved to Los Angeles to chase a dream, and I was fortunate enough to see it drop. I've also taken countless shots since then, I've made some and I've missed some, but more importantly, I never stopped shooting. Now I'm 52 and I'm taking another one by writing this book. I'm not quite sure where it will land, but I know I'm proud of myself for letting it fly. Never stop striving, never stop trying, never stop believing, and never, ever give up on yourself.

When I started the process of putting this document together, the goal was for me to openly and honestly look back at my life and see if I truly am the person I thought I was. In doing so, I rediscovered a few things about myself. I didn't forget these aspects of my life, but probably ignored them more often than I should have. So after that realization, I've made it a point to keep them in the forefront of my day-to-day living, because I feel they are the cornerstones that help to define me as a man.

Dan…The Man

1. Don't stress about what may happen next, when you can appreciate right now.
2. Always be thankful for what you DO have, instead of obsessing over all that you don't.
3. Pray for strength and guidance. In doing so, always remember to be aware enough to realize when they are given to you.
4. Don't let others mistake my humor for ignorance or my kindness for weakness.
5. Why me? Only ask this during the good times as opposed to the bad. The recognition and appreciation of good fortune will regenerate more of it into your life.
6. Always try new things. Don't ever say, “Do you know how old I'll be by the time I'll learn to do that?” Yes I do—the same age you'll be anyway, so just do it!
7. Stop being one of the boys and be a man. (This goes for the ladies as well.) It doesn't mean stop having fun, get a new set of friends, or change your life entirely. It means being strong enough to recognize the importance of prioritizing your life appropriately.
8. Instead of “picking your battles,” try not having any at all. A battle is, more often than not, a confrontation that could have been avoided. And a war usually stems from an unnecessary battle.
9. Only take life seriously when it is serious. Even then, when the winds have died down, find any and every opportunity to allow yourself to find some humor in it and laugh. Remember, there is a purpose to the pain.
10. The most important decision you'll ever have to make in this life is how you choose to live it! Once you make that decision, all the others are relatively easy. (Via my father, via his mother.)

1. 10a. I was voted Best Male Dancer in ninth grade. I guess watching Soul Train all those Saturdays paid off. (Sorry, but had to squeeze that nugget into this book somewhere.)

As I sit here, with the entire puzzle of my life pieced back together, the question is, does it look like what I thought it would? At the beginning of the book, I stated that one of the reasons I decided to write it was because “how I perceive myself, how I think others perceive me, and how others actually do perceive me, are more than likely, three entirely separate views.” What I've discovered was this: who you are isn't defined by another person's opinion of you, no matter how hard people or platforms like social media try to make us believe this today. Everyone perceives individuals in their own unique fashion, but it doesn't play any part in determining the real you.

Because a name, a rumor, a photo, an opinion, a “like,” or even a character I've played doesn't define who I am. I am defined by my actions—how I treat my family, friends, colleagues, strangers on the street, and people in need. Others will undoubtedly draw their own conclusions from that, but it's their conclusion, not mine. They'll choose to use words in any positive or negative way they see fit, and as long as I see fit not to let their words affect me, then I am in control of who I am. Not who I was yesterday or who I'm going to be tomorrow, but who I AM RIGHT NOW. Because when you embrace what's happening in the moment, you control the moment, and when you control the moment, you are then in control of your life. Only you can determine who you are.

So, what's the verdict: Who am I? Am I “MTV's Dan Cortese,” the Mimbo, the in-your-face Whopper Guy, a Melrose Place thug, or just some guy who loves to have fun and laugh until he cries with his wife and kids? Truth is, I'm just a man who's constantly trying to love, learn, and evolve in every aspect of his life. A man who has a simple, yet somewhat difficult goal for himself at the end of every day. It is that when tomorrow comes, I will make sure that I am a better version of the man that I was the day prior.

Having gone through this entire process I've discovered something else. As important as it was for me to understand who I was, I felt it was just as important for me to let you know who I am. Remember, if you don't like the narrative of your story, become the narrator.

Finally, if there is one last thought I'd like to leave with whomever is reading this right now, it would be this. Make sure to embrace ALL of your life along the way, not just the good but the bad as well. Because each and every moment we experience is equally as important as the one before it. One of the most beautiful things I've learned about life is that once you find the strength to allow yourself to embrace ALL of who you truly are, you can finally let go of all that has held you down. So, let go and let's go! I can't think of a better way to do that than to … Step off!