The Magic Is in the Mix

Close tie networks might be more inclined to stop you from taking any risks, whereas loose tie networks hold the knowledge and resources to make those risks pay off. However, true power comes from a union of the two.

Kickstarter is a great example of how you can leverage the strength of both close and loose tie networks. Through their web presence, Kickstarter provides the largest virtual funding platform for creative projects. Entrepreneurs and inventors like Helen Volkov Behn, the founder of Spand-Ice, use the site to connect to investors, many of whom they haven’t met before.

Helen spent years in physical therapy because her hypermobile spine meant that she was often pulling muscles in her back and legs. After years of medication and physical therapy, she discovered that the best way to manage the muscle inflammation was through icing and heating. As Helen explains, the only difficulty was that “no one can spend the whole day alternating between 20 minutes of icing and heating.” Helen developed a clothing line that would integrate heating and cooling so that you could do it inconspicuously and on-the-go.

In preparation for launching her Kickstarter campaign, she compiled contacts through social media sources like Facebook, Twitter, Google+, Pinterest, and LinkedIn and supplemented those contacts with entrepreneurial networks in her local community. In the end, her campaign went live to approximately 1,000 contacts. In addition, Kickstarter featured her campaign, allowing her to attract funding from complete strangers who happened to be in the Kickstarter network.

Kickstarter sets a deadline to reach your funding goal; if you miss that deadline you walk away with nothing, so it’s important to prepare your network in advance. Just a week away from the close of Helen’s Kickstarter campaign, she was still $8,000 short of her goal of $30,000, so she supplemented her online efforts with in-person events and special pleas to her close tie network to act as bridges to their networks.

Helen told us her biggest surprise and aha moment was how important loose ties were to the success of her campaign. She estimates that 50 percent of her goal was met by close friends and family and the rest was thanks to loose ties. She says, “The goal would have been impossible to reach without those loose ties.”

Can You Get to Kevin Bacon?

Our loose ties are also far more likely to be bridges to people important for us to know. Zach, our rebel entrepreneur whose story started off our chapter, found that a friend of a friend was the key connection in helping him land a new business account. Even though Zach’s grandparents’ advice was important in the launch of his business, it was his ability to tap into his loose ties network that delivered success. Since our network needs change over time, it’s crucial that we think broadly about what connections we might need. When you are in a job search, you will want your network to be rich with connections to others. Or, if you’re launching a business as Helen did, you will want lots of connections that can provide access to resources.

Before social media there was the “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon” game: connect any actor to a film featuring Kevin Bacon within six films (Elizabeth Perkins starred in Big, which co-starred Tom Hanks, who was in Apollo 13 with Kevin Bacon. Done!). Or there is the famous study done by psychologist Stanley Milgram. In 1967, Milgram wanted to see how many degrees were between any random person in Nebraska and a Massachusetts stockbroker he knew. He asked 200 Nebraskans to mail a letter to someone they knew personally who might in turn know the stockbroker. On average it took only six different stops before the letter showed up at the stockbroker’s address.

Social network theorists use degree-of-separation to refer to individuals who can be reached within your network. Today, the degrees of separation are getting smaller and contacts are just a click away. A recent study discovered that any Facebook member with a Friends circle of 300 or more is less than five degrees of separation from everyone else on Facebook. And, when you look at the United States alone, the degree of separation is just three contacts.

According to Reid Hoffman in his book, The Start-Up of You, when it comes to using your loose tie network for professional purposes, he argues for leveraging those who are only three degrees of separation from you. As he explains, three degrees is the optimum number because when you’re introduced to a second-or third-degree connection, at least one person in the introduction chain personally knows the origin of the connection request. Those third-degree connections exponentially expand your network, which is why LinkedIn uses the tagline, “Your network is bigger than you think.”

Obviously, the wider your diverse network, the fewer steps it is to connecting to someone. But what if there is a specific someone who can make a significant difference in your future, and you want to reach out to her? Then you need to be able to identify the connections. Online services like LinkedIn can be highly effective—we see everyone our network knows, allowing us the opportunity to treat them as connections.

And trust us—we’re all going to need this kind of help in a future where there will be an average of eleven job changes between our first job and our last. Every one of those job changes will use your network in some way, whether it is to find a job, find a referral, or support you as you transition. When jobs are fluid, your network is more permanent than your job.

Groom a Clan

As we’ve fallen into the habit of gathering friends and contacts, many people think that just accepting every request to connect can help build their networks. In our research, we’ve found that most people fall into one of two categories: those who embrace saying yes to all requests and those who will only accept connections to and from people they know. As it turns out, in most cases, quality matters more than quantity. If you are likely to have dozens of vendors contacting you to try to sell to you, then a more selective approach might make sense; but in an example of “the more the merrier,” if you are in sales, knowing as many people as possible might be a better strategy.

Not only is the quality of your closest network ties important, but so is having the right size network. Robin Dunbar, who studies evolutionary psychology at the University of Oxford, has developed a theory called “Dunbar’s Number” that suggest we can only meaningfully track about 150 contacts. His work relies on an understanding of the connection between brain size and ideal group size, known as social brain hypothesis.

With smaller brains, chimps cannot sustain a social group larger than 50 because of how much time grooming consumes. He found that, as the group size increased, the grooming became more stressful. With less time devoted to each member of the group, it became harder to keep track of who would come to their aid. This created an upper limit on the size of the chimp’s social group.

Fortunately, your human brain can handle more contacts than a chimp’s can. How much grooming do your contacts need? As our networks grow larger they require more time to manage, but do not necessarily add more value to our networks. One high maintenance friend might deplete us of the energy for 20 other contacts, but perhaps the support that one person provides at this stage of your life is essential for your mental health. If you find yourself devoting an inordinate amount of time interacting with your networks, but aren’t seeing a return on that time investment, you might be ready to downsize. If you spend no time at all maintaining these relationships, now is an ideal time to think about expanding. In either case, understanding what you want your network to do for you can help you determine its ideal size and make-up.

That might mean a network of 15 people, 50 people, 150 people or 1,000. However, know that relationships are very susceptible to decay if we don’t invest time in them. According to Dunbar, failure to spend time with a friend for over a year reduces the quality of that friendship by a third. Take time to think realistically about both the purpose of your network and your capacity for grooming as you set the size and demographics for your network.

Build for Depth

Now that you have a goal about the purpose, size, and type of network you need, how should you go about creating that network? In personal interviews with award-winning people we conducted for our doctoral research, we discovered two distinct and broad categories for expanding networks. We call those that construct relationships one at a time “building approaches.” The other category of strategies was more diffused and included more sets of connections, so we called those “bridging approaches.” Different situations may call for different approaches. You will also want to pick approaches that suit your personality and appeal. So for example, if you are an enthusiastic extrovert who is comfortable juggling hundreds of connections, an extensive weak tie network might be right for you. Introverts might prefer a smaller network more dependent on close-tie contacts.

The Building Strategies include four approaches that are highly focused actions, concentrating on individuals and incremental, deep, relationship-oriented growth. If you are an introvert or cringe deeply at the idea of reaching out to strangers, these may be right for you. Likewise, if you see yourself in a relatively stable environment, where relationships tend to extend over time, these could be right for you, too. You may find that you are already using many of these strategies or approaches. Or you may like to select behavioral approaches from both categories, depending on your own personal style.

Knowing. This strategy is based on the premise to know yourself first and build relationships with people who will value what you bring to the table. With a primary focus on introspection, this strategy allows you to make the selection of which groups and organizations to join. Since you are choosing events or activities that are personal interests, this could be a successful method for creating self-confidence in building your network before employing other strategies. People who use this strategy often build personal relationships with other members of clubs and organizations in ways that have a mentoring quality. They often give affirmations like this comment from Lori, a bank manager: “She just cheered me on, so I always had this person who was in my camp.”

Persisting. For people with an abundance of confidence, a strategy to consider is good old-fashioned persistence. Karie once hired an internal candidate because he showed up at her office nearly every day to try to convince her he was the right candidate. The persistence he showed as a candidate ended up being a good fit to a job that required constant follow-up with administrators.

People in sales might rely on a state of mind that allows for persistent pursuit to identify and get to know people. In this strategy, there are no perceived boundaries, no people are unreachable, and gatekeepers are temporary roadblocks. Since this strategy’s focus is on a targeted person and often has a specific desired outcome, it can work well for those who like building relationships.

Trish, an entrepreneur with a budding business told us, “I keep my face in front of people and then just keep knocking on their doors.” Or, as Carl, a line manager for a regional manufacturing company, says, “I would sort of muscle my way into the office of the general manager.” If you are using this strategy, it helps if you think of yourself as someone with a tough skin who enjoys the challenge of persisting until you are successful.

Performing. Choose this strategy if you face a highly structured, hierarchical environment where there are unwritten rules about reaching above your level. Performing may be the best choice if you pride yourself on a job well done and are someone who routinely asks for additional responsibility. If your goal is to get to know others in a field in which you want to improve your competence, finding others who are a step or two ahead of you can help you understand what is expected at those levels.

Choosing to perform extra work duties will help your colleagues recognize your contributions. Some might feel threatened, it’s true, but those higher-ups who value competence tend to open their networks to people based on competence, or at least a demonstration of eagerness to learn. In National Guard flight instructor Tina’s words, “No matter who it is, if people do the job, then people will get to know them.” Bill, a software developer, shared, “When you know somebody that’s a self-starter or a top performer, you’re going to pick that person to take to the next step.”

When Terry Lundgren, CEO of Macy’s became frustrated in an earlier job and started to think about leaving, recruiter Gene Ross gave him this advice: “You’re not going to do this forever. There’s a finite amount of time you’re going to be doing this. Do this really, really well. And if you do this really, really well, everybody will see that, and they’ll move you onto the next thing.”

Growing. Are you one of those people who connects to people in a soulful way, over time, or not at all? This strategy might be for you.

Developing relationships one at a time was the key to this strategy. This works for those with a preference to focus their energy on getting to know people and their stories fairly deeply right from the start. The relationship can be with people like themselves as well as with people who are very different.

Martin, an account executive, said, “I have a tremendous gift of remembering people’s names and their stories. When you tell me your life story, I really remember, and the thing is, I really care. I think that sincerity validates people.” Since account executives need to sustain relationships with clients over a long period of time, this is a perfect approach for Martin.

Bridge for Breadth

The bridging approaches are more diffused and include more than one linkage to network connections, with the effect of having a less immediate return. The upside is that they have the potential of reaching a broader, more diverse set of contacts. They are the natural breeding ground for extroverts, but introverts can benefit from these strategies as well.

Brokering. Do you think of yourself as a matchmaker of sorts at work? The brokering strategy might be for you. This is a good strategy for linking people to each other and their needs as a way of expanding your network. People will remember that you did them a favor by connecting them, and their goodwill may help you some day.

Often referred to as people brokers or connectors, the ones who use this strategy really enjoy knowing a lot of people. They have the ability to act as a bridge in introducing people to others in their networks and in a network analysis, would typically be a power hub. No problem is too big, as long as they know someone with a solution. Linda, a 20-year veteran HR specialist, said it best: “I think the greatest thing is when you need something and know someone who can help. It’s not about loving a big network, it’s about solving people’s problems.”

Connecting. Think of this strategy as leaping from one network point to another. Rather than being the broker, how can you connect to a broker or connector? Emphasizing knowledge and information, this approach helps you to shortcut building relationships one at a time by tapping into a power broker. To make a distant connection, sometimes the fastest way is to build a relationship between you and the other person is through a connector.

Nina, the CEO of a non-profit, shares, “I started doing a lot of fundraising. As it turns out, there is a winery up the valley that’s owned by a woman who shares an interest of mine. But how do I get to know her, and how do I get six cases of wine from her for this fundraiser? Then I found out that one of our donors plays golf with her regularly. I don’t play golf, but they do. That’s it!” Nina used her connection to leverage a quick route for an introduction.

Joining. At some level, we all need to use a joining strategy, whether it’s attending professional meetings or social events. For many, a huge part of networking is attending events and supporting non-profit causes. So make the most of the causes you are passionate about. Since you are probably already attending these events, just do what you do naturally, and the networking opportunities will fall into place.

Becoming involved in community organizations is a great way to connect with people already in your network and to meet new people with whom you already share an interest. You might consider joining business associations, professional societies, your local Chamber of Commerce, service organizations like Rotary International, charity events, civic and community associations, Meetup.com, church choirs, book clubs, the soup kitchen—the list goes on. It’s easy to then make the transition to connecting outside of events. The advantage of this approach is that you create connections that may be singular in focus to start, but can spread beyond the original purpose. For example, you find your spinning class friend also wants to get better at public speaking, so with the other’s support, you sign up for a class.

Ed, a budding entrepreneur who was new to his city, said, “I just joined everything I could to make new connections.” Or as Taylor expressed, “You know, I got involved with doing this and that, and that’s basically what launched all of my career success.”

Sowing. Sometimes you just have to play a numbers game. This strategy appeals to a wide range of individuals, but especially those who want a large network just in case. Relying on constant interactions, this approach is directly opposite to the building strategy of growing by getting to know one person at a time. Although this approach appears to be unfocused, those using this strategy like the idea of being open to a broad group of people and acquainting others with themselves, often without a specific purpose in mind.

Mindy, a marketing executive in the financial services industry, put it this way: “It’s being out there. You have to be out there to meet people. You have to be out there in a lot of different places.” Or as Jack, who owns a multi-location car dealership, told us, “It was also very important to me after I purchased the business to be ‘out and about,’ as they say. You just have to get out there and meet as many people as you can.” Serendipity happens when you use this strategy. Table 4.1 provides an overview of the strategies.

Adjust Constantly

Just building a network is not enough. Our experience and research have shown a need for dynamic, adaptive networks that can shift over time because our relationships with our relationships change. The colleagues you saw every day at work change when you change organizations. Although your hometown stays constant, when you move, the proximity to your relationships change and new relationships are formed. When you change to a new role, you must also think about what and how your network needs to shift.

At INSEAD, Herminia Ibarra led a research study looking at managers moving into bigger leadership positions. They found that, in general, managers needed to reorient their networks to be more externally focused and aimed with future goals in mind. Many of the new managers already understood the importance of network relationships to meet routine objectives such as sales quotas. However, to work at the new strategic level required a shift in networking. Managers had to broker information from one portion of their networks to another to achieve results. Inevitably, those moving into leadership positions discovered that a different network composition was needed.

It helps to be proactive in order to avoid spending all of your time maintaining past contacts. Taking time at several points in the year to assess your network diversity can help maintain a forward-focused network. As your need for information changes, make sure that your network is future-focused, populated with people who challenge you to think more broadly, and can help you grow and develop.

Scratch a Back

Your network is made up of relationships. Strong relationships are built over time based on the principal of give and take. Building strong relationships requires reciprocity, and sometimes you may need to scratch the person’s back first before being able to make use of that contact. Therefore, it’s important that you respond when asked for assistance by those in your network.

One of the best ways to build the network you want is to understand the balance between doing for others while asking others to do for you. Keeping track of the interests of those in your network and connecting them to ideas and opportunities lets people know you are thinking of them, and the more exchanges made, the more trustworthy, dependable, and helpful you are perceived to be.

Social networks such as LinkedIn and Twitter have a number of practices that create opportunities to share with others in your network. Providing endorsements or testimonials to others in your network is a great way to keep in touch with your contacts and let others know that you are following their work and have noticed their progress. Commenting on a blog, liking a post, forwarding interesting articles, or congratulating someone on a new promotion is as easy as clicking an automatic response button. Being consistently in touch helps to ensure that your personal connections last. If you only want to network when you need something, people will remember it and shun your requests. By finding ways to practice reciprocity within your network, you can build authentic relationships that can help you when you need your network most—as in a job search.

Strive for Five to Thrive

Hang out with people better than you, and you cannot help but improve.

—Warren Buffet

The best network stretches you. While you may have hundreds of people in your network, who are the five people who can help you be a better person, especially when it comes to your work? Every time you are with them, you feel you have upped your game and are thinking a little differently. Since we can’t maintain close connections to everyone in our networks, focus on the five you could groom to help you thrive. For the last fifteen years, Barbara and Karie have counted on each other as part of their own five to thrive groups.

Who can challenge you to think beyond where you are now? You need options, access to new ideas, and connections that can help you advance. Is there someone in your network you can spend more time with to help you continue to stretch, think more strategically, and introduce you to new concepts from other fields?