CHAPTER 3
The EASY Process for Treating Negotiaphobia
A New Day for Jay
As Jay climbed out of bed the next morning, he was fully committed to the one viable career option for him moving forward from this point in his life. He had read in a Ken Blanchard book that “people change when the pain not to change exceeds the pain to change.” Jay had experienced his evening of pain, and his decision was to completely embrace the change that hit him yesterday like a slap in the face. He was committed to taking full advantage of the opportunity to learn what promised to be a simple process to treat his negotiaphobia and thus significantly enhance the profit contribution generated by his territory.
When Jay kissed an apparently fully recovered Laura good-bye, she told him to try to have a good day. He responded that he intended to have not just a good day but an outstanding day.
“What kind of transformation did you have last night?” Laura asked.
“I got a strong dose of perspective and reality. Love you, sweetheart,” was Jay’s smiling response as he waved good-bye, patted his heart as he always did for her, and then quietly closed the door.
The Doctor Is In
The banquet staff finishing the setup was the only sign of life in the meeting room when Jay arrived. When Dr. Patrick Perkins came through the door, this time in a shinier pair of cowboy boots, Jay approached him to modify the comments he had made the prior evening. As he walked up to the anointed “One Minute Negotiator,” Dr. Pat cheerfully said, “Well, mornin’, Mr. Jay Baxter. It looks like we are the early arrivals.” Shaking hands, Jay began an explanation of his admitted learning reluctance from the prior evening.
Dr. Pat did not even allow him time to finish. “Don’t concern yourself with the comments you shared last night. I probably should’ve let you know who I was, but I generally like to remain, shall we say, incognito, the evening before a session to get a read on people’s attitudes as they approach the workshop. You’ll see this morning that I start the meeting with a question to each of you concerning what you want out of this opportunity. Far and away the most honest answer I ever got was when one guy said, ‘Me! Most of all I just want me out of this workshop.’” They both had a good laugh at that one. Dr. Pat told Jay to grab a good seat, and with that Jay put his materials on the table in the very front row.
The Charge to the Troops
Several minutes later when Eduardo entered the room, he scanned the scene and then walked over and asked Jay, “What are you doing way up here? There is no easy exit from this spot. You could catch something sitting this close.” Jay smiled at his friend, saying, “It seems I’ve already caught negotiaphobia, and I’m here for my treatment. I saved this chair just for you, my friend.” Frowning, Eduardo took the seat.
A few minutes later President Blankenship kicked off the workshop. His brief comments mirrored the ones he made to Jay the night before. They centered on the fact that the game had indeed changed. It was no longer strategically sound to evaluate each sales representative on top-line revenue and expect the company to magically generate the desired bottom-line profit. “We have always delivered exceptional value to our customers. The information systems that we work with them to design and implement are central to these organizations’ overall success. It’s definitely time to ensure that we are being fairly compensated for that value we are delivering. XL Information Solutions does not provide a commodity information management system, and we simply can’t get paid as if we do. Our company’s resources and your individual expertise are not unlimited, but are instead in finite supply. We need to be focusing on those customers who understand, appreciate, and are willing to pay for the exceptional work we do.”
He went on, “Dr. Patrick Perkins is going to help us all recognize and develop a negotiation mind-set to do just that. I want to emphasize to all of you how much I am now using the unique process he shared with me in my negotiaphobia treatment about six months ago. The reason we have secured the services of Dr. Pat is that what he brings to us is easy to use, and much of it is useable in a minute or less. To give you an example, just last Wednesday I was involved in the final stages of a negotiation with one of our key suppliers. I was tempted to agree to what was a good counteroffer they had put on the table. Then I heard Dr. Pat’s voice in my head saying, ‘Give them a few seconds of silence and see what happens.’ I did just that, and they kicked in an accommodation with regard to our payment terms that will free up capital and measurably impact XL’s profitability. Give the One Minute Negotiator your absolute fullest attention, and understand there is nothing, and I mean nothing, more important you can possibly be doing over the next two days than being in here and learning what he has to share with you. Now, please join me in welcoming our seminar leader, Dr. Patrick Perkins.” They all dutifully applauded, and Dr. Pat had the floor.
What Are We Talking About?
After some opening activities and the aforementioned identification of what each person wanted to gain from the two days, there was a brief discussion of the agenda for their time together. With that completed, Dr. Pat rapidly moved into the content of the workshop.
He pointed out that if the participants were going to effectively advance their negotiation process and skills, it would be essential to engage in a discussion of his description of the subject matter. His definition was already written on a flipchart:
A negotiation is the ongoing process through which two or more parties, whose positions are not necessarily consistent, work in an effort to reach an agreement.
He called attention to the critical parts of this sentence. First was the word process. Dr. Pat stressed that most people think of a negotiation as an event that takes place only after the parties put their requests or positions on the table. In reality, negotiations are frequently an ongoing process, and those who focus strictly on the decision phase greatly reduce their effectiveness.
Dr. Pat clarified that the need identification and the postdecision implementation phases are often the most critical parts of the negotiation process. Then he asked what participants thought was the next significant component. Monte Beal from New York City brought up the multiple parties segment. Dr. Pat explained, “In a negotiation, there are both the people present and the people behind the scenes. Individuals behind the scenes are called constituents, and they often have more impact on what is said and done than the parties at the table.”
The next components Dr. Pat discussed were the issues of inconsistent initial positions and working in an effort to reach an agreement. He said that as long as an agreement has not been reached, there is no guarantee there will ever be one. “I have watched what seemed to be very minor issues and small differences that were inappropriately handled kill a large deal. On the positive side, recognize that as long as the parties are talking to each other, there is still a chance for success. Even if they’re yelling at you, at least they’re still talking to you. The negotiation process is only dead when one or both sides permanently cease communications.”
Dr. Pat further explained, “Differing initial positions are an often-misunderstood aspect of negotiations. If I am selling a car and you drive it and ask me how much I want for it, and I say $6,500, and you agree, that sounds like perfection, doesn’t it?” He clarified that this means of reaching a deal is not actually a negotiation but rather an up-front agreement. While this sounds like perfection, ultimately it is likely that neither party would end up happy. “On the way home, you would probably begin to think that you paid too much and might have been able to buy the car for less. On the other side of the deal, when I go to the bank to deposit your check, I might start thinking that I could’ve gotten as much as $8,000 for the car; thus sensing that I left a lot of money on the table.”
He paused for a moment to allow the participants to reflect on that logic, and then continued. “So you see, while an up-front agreement sounds like total bliss, it is in reality only through the time and effort we invest in a negotiation that we can reach an agreement both sides feel is in their best interests.
“By the way, almost all people overemphasize price in negotiations, just as in the car example I used. A savvy negotiator will tell you that if they let you set the price, and you let them set the terms, conditions, and deliverables, they will beat you every time. For example, the guy who agreed to buy the car might say, ‘I’ll pay that price, but only under the condition that it be repainted, with a new set of tires, a tune-up, and the payments spread out over two years.’” He explained that this could end up being a much better deal for the buyer than trying to get a somewhat lower cash price and then paying to have all of this work done.
The Epidemic of Negotiaphobia
Dr. Pat now shifted gears from what a negotiation is to why so many people fear the activity and even the term so much. “A majority of people today suffer from a stressful disease that is limiting their success and marginalizing the value they bring to their companies. It is so widespread that it has become an epidemic. ‘Negotiaphobia’ is the name I have given to this disease of attitude and skill deficiency. The symptoms involve not only the fear and loathing of negotiating, but also the willingness to live with the status quo instead of working to build more favorable outcomes. Signs of negotiaphobia include telling yourself that now is not the time to rock the boat. It is a longing for the ‘good old days’ when things were easier. I ask you to tell me of any day when people in business said, ‘These are the good old days.’ We have always faced challenges, and today isn’t all that different.”
Dr. Pat emphasized that the first issue in the treatment of this disease is to admit to yourself that you have these fears, feelings, and limitations. “By a show of hands, how many of you are willing to admit that you frequently fear and even sidestep negotiations that face you every day in every aspect of your life? Come on now, you will feel better after you admit it.” Jay put not one but both his hands in the air, and with that, Eduardo broke out laughing.
Dr. Pat blamed two primary factors as negotiaphobia’s disease agents. First, he indicated that many people see negotiations as acts of combat or conflict. “Most people just want to go along and get along. They hate uncertainty and rush to get any kind of agreement in place, even if it is a bad one. They do not want to butt heads and deal with what they feel are all the stress and hard feelings they think negotiations create.
“Let me share two different perspectives. First, it is not that difficult to overcome your negotiaphobia and become a proficient negotiator. Second, these negative feelings don’t need to be prevalent and can often be controlled for many of the negotiations you engage in.”
The second reason he provided for negotiaphobia reaching epidemic proportions was a general absence of investment in skill development. “How many of you have ever read a book or attended a workshop on negotiation skills—before today, that is?” Only Cathy Simmons and Bob Blankenship raised their hands. “This is the typical percentage I see day in and day out as I work with business professionals around the globe. Negotiating is an activity we find ourselves needing to engage in every day, but we seldom take the opportunity to invest time and funds to get better at it. Ladies and gentlemen, for all of you, the treatment for this disease begins right here and right now.”
A Three-Step EASY Treatment Process
Dr. Pat next provided an overview of his simple process to treat the negotiaphobes. “Some people want to make the process of negotiating way too complex. Others try to oversimplify it and provide a one-size-fits-all approach. My ‘clinic’ follows the directive of a fairly smart fellow: Albert Einstein. He said, ‘Make things as simple as possible, but no simpler.’ The most exciting thing about this three-step process is that it simultaneously serves as a cure for negotiaphobia and the means to improving your negotiation results. This treatment process is easy yet powerful.”
Dr. Pat now moved into the initial step. “The beginning of the three-step process for improving your negotiating is to Engage the treatment process. Let me be very clear that for each of you to start this process, you first must recognize that you are in a negotiation. A switch must flip in your head that tells you to engage the EASY process. With that switch flipped, you then progress through a quick mental review of the viable negotiation strategies. We will address how to negotiate by knowing and recognizing the different strategies shortly. Given my experience, I can spot when a situation calls for a negotiation and reflect through the various strategies very quickly. You’ll be able to do the same by the time we conclude our discussions.”
STEP 1
Engage: Recognize you are in a negotiation and quickly review the viable strategies.
Dr. Pat next described the second phase of his prescribed treatment program. “In Step 2 of the treatment process, you Assess your negotiation strategy tendencies, as well as the tendencies of the other side or sides. Based on our basic nature and our experiences, we each come into any negotiation encounter with a higher or lower propensity to use each of the negotiation strategies. If we default to our comfort zone, get extremely lucky, and all the stars line up, it can work out okay for us. Unfortunately, for the untreated negotiaphobes, my experience has shown that all this comes together less than 20 percent of the time. That means that four out of five times people proceed with what is comfortable for them, but that provides a very low probability of success.”
Assess: Evaluate your tendency to use each of the negotiation strategies, as well as the tendencies of the other side(s).
Dr. Pat continued, “In addition to knowing themselves, proficient negotiators quickly read the other side, because no one negotiates in a vacuum. There are at least two sides at the negotiation table, and you can only hope to control the side you are sitting on; and sometimes that is a big challenge. By becoming comfortable with this easy treatment process, much of the time you can quickly tell how they are likely to be negotiating with you.
“The third and final step is where you Strategize as you select the proper approach for this particular negotiation. In addition to considering yourself and the others at the table, this final step also takes into account the true significance of the opportunity. You simply pick the best approach, use it, monitor the impact, and then proceed or adjust based on the progress you are making. This learning experience is designed to result in your being proficient in all types of negotiations, so no matter what direction the other side goes in, you can strategize and effectively deal with it.”
Strategize: Select the proper strategy for this particular negotiation.
Bringing closure to the XL team’s introduction of the three-step treatment, Dr. Pat asked, “How many of you find acronyms useful? Well, you may or may not have recognized it, but we just built a critical acronym that will take us through the rest of our time together. I promised you that treating negotiaphobia would be easy. Therefore, each time you are in a negotiation, if you will review the three steps as they pertain to the situation— which I call “Your One Minute Drill”—you will be more successful in your negotiations. By taking this minute for review you will definitely find this preparation to be a very handy tool, use better strategies and tactics, and become a proficient One Minute Negotiator.
“And to further help you overcome your negotiaphobia, here’s an easy acronym to help you remember the process: E-A-S-Y: Engage, Assess, Strategize, and Your One Minute Drill. If Dr. Pat promises you easy, he is darn sure going to give you E-A-S-Y.”
Your One Minute Drill: Each time you begin a negotiation situation, take a minute to review the three steps.
Dr. Pat continued to give the XL participants even more confidence about the journey they had just begun. “In a very short period of time, the One Minute Drill will become second nature to you; you will do it naturally. How many of you had to think about putting on your seat belt the first time you drove a car?” All the hands went up. “Okay, how many of you have to think about it now?” There were only smiles around the room. “The One Minute Drill is your negotiation seat belt.”
Stepping Up
“The one question about the three-step process I hear most often is, which one of the steps is most important? My smart-aleck answer is ‘The one you skip. The one that trips you when you run back upstairs at your house to get your keys is the one you failed to take into account.’ It is the same with negotiations. The truth is, the first step, to engage, has to be the most important. If the switch in your head does not flip and you have no clear understanding of the viable strategies for negotiating, the easy negotiaphobia treatment process never even begins. This certainly does not mean you can shortchange the other two steps as you do your drill.”
As Dr. Pat approached the conclusion of the first session, he got very serious in making a promise to the group. “I’ll guarantee that if all of you will focus on learning how to do these three easy steps well, you will become proficient negotiators. Let me quickly clarify what makes for a proficient negotiator. You will effectively control your negotiaphobia and enjoy a high level of success in reducing your stress and generating the outcomes you are seeking in your negotiations. You will also become more efficient, consuming no more resources, including your time, than is required in producing these superior results. With only limited consideration and practice, you will be able to cycle through these steps and do them in only one minute. When you reflect on successful negotiations, you will give credit to the use of this process. When things do not turn out so well, you should immediately reexamine the process used to see which steps might have been overlooked or not appropriately executed. Now, go get some pastries and coffee and be back in fourteen and a half minutes.”
1. A negotiation occurs when two or more parties have perceived differences in positions and put forth the effort to close gaps and reach an agreement.
2. As with most diseases, the first issue in treating negotiaphobia is to admit you have it.
3. People fear negotiating for two primary reasons: a widespread lack of skill, and a misunderstanding of the nature of the process leading to a misguided desire to avoid conflict.
4. The treatment of negotiaphobia is an easy process that begins with Engaging, as you review what a negotiation is and your strategy options; Assessing your own tendencies and the tendencies of the other side; and then Strategizing to identify what approach is the best fit for the situation. The review of these steps comprises Your One Minute Drill that should drive your process for every negotiation.