SIX

Managing the MIA Boss

“I’m sure you guys have everything under control. I’ll be traveling the next few months, so holler if you need me.”

SAMPLE WORKPLACE INTERACTION WITH “THE MIA BOSS”

Office hallway

Kevin: Hey, Austin, great to have you back. How was Miami?

Austin (the MIA boss): Hot! I’m going to have to recommend someplace north of D.C. for the next summer conference! I really shouldn’t complain, though; it was a great chance to connect with all the division managers. I learned a lot about the new strategic initiatives, and I’m looking forward to sharing some of that with you guys soon. How are things going here? Is the Milam project on track?

Kevin: Well, I’d really like to talk to you about that. Things have slowed quite a bit while you’ve been gone. To be honest, there hasn’t been much progress in the past couple weeks, so I was hoping that we could have a bit of a reset now that you’re back.

Austin: Kevin, I’m shocked! I assigned that project to you because I knew that you wouldn’t need me breathing down your neck to keep it moving. I’m honestly a bit disappointed that you guys aren’t further along. Have the vendor selections been made yet?

Kevin: Well, Austin, we couldn’t complete vendor selections until we finalize the requirements, and of course, your input and approval are needed on the final requirements document. We talked about some of this during the project kickoff meeting–remember the offsite session we had back in January?

Austin: Oh yeah, that’s the one where I had to keep stepping out because Jill had just come on board as the new VP, and she had a million questions for me. I know that the requirements piece is important, so I would like to stay in the loop on that, but I don’t want to slow down the project progress. I really need you to make sure my schedule doesn’t become an impediment to project progress. If you need to track me down, do it! You know me—I’m always available!

Kevin: Oh, well, I sent a few emails last week, but I knew you were busy in meetings so I didn’t necessarily expect a quick response.

Austin: Yes, you can’t rely on email. Remember, you’re the PM. It’s your job to make sure things stay on track! I’m only in the office two days this week and I’m behind on email, so I doubt I’ll have time to come to the next project meeting. We can’t afford to miss our due date on this project. Jill has been hounding me about making sure we don’t miss any important due dates, so I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news about the Milam project. I know you can get things back on track.

Kevin: What about the requirements document approval? Can we get that from you while you’re in the office this week? We really need that in order to move forward.

Austin: Yes, can you resend me the requirements document to get it on top of my mound of unread emails? Let’s do lunch this week so you can walk me through the document, and I can provide my approval.

Kevin: Sounds good, Austin. I’ll follow up with your admin to get lunch scheduled.

Kevin felt sick to his stomach with worry about the conversation he just had with his boss, Austin. No, he wasn’t getting fired … at least, not yet. He couldn’t help but wonder if maybe getting fired would actually be easier and quicker than staying around for this torture. He just couldn’t figure Austin out. Was he intentionally trying to make him fail? Or maybe Austin really just trusted him so much that he thought he didn’t really need supervision or support?

As Kevin returned to his desk and slumped down in his chair, he put his head on his desk for a moment of silence. He couldn’t believe what just happened. He’d spent the better part of the last couple weeks cracking the whip with his team to get the draft requirements document completed in record time, and then, of course, it just sat in Austin’s inbox for more than a week with no response. As far as he could tell, Austin never even opened the email, much less provided his approval. The problem was that the team didn’t just need Austin’s official approval, they really needed his input. Austin had a much broader perspective on the organization’s strategy and that intelligence really should be factored into the requirements document. Whenever he did participate, he offered lots of additional information and insisted that his feedback be incorporated into project deliverables, but then he’d disappear for a week or two and then wonder why dates were slipping! He can’t have it both ways!

Kevin had dealt with lots of bosses over his career, but the MIA boss was one of his least favorite. Austin was actually a great guy when he was around, but he just wasn’t around enough to truly provide the support that the project and the team needed. Not only was Kevin frustrated with Austin’s lack of active support for the Milam project, the rest of the team felt somewhat dejected because they’d been operating on autopilot for the better part of a year now. Kevin felt like he’d been forced to step in to fill the leadership void and worse yet, he wasn’t even getting any acknowledgement for it. He started wondering if this job was even worth it. Maybe he’d start to call around to some headhunters. There had to be something better out there, right?

THE MIA BOSS DEFINED

The Missing in Action (MIA) boss is the one who’s just not around enough, and their absence places a burden on the team. They might be out of the office a lot for a combination of personal reasons (vacation, sickness, personal needs, etc.) and professional commitments (professional training, conferences, extensive meetings, business travel, etc.). Their excessive absences don’t just delay real project deliverables, business outcomes, and organizational events, they often impact the quality of business decisions and create missed opportunities for the team to address process problems, share critical organizational information, or respond to crises as needed. Another key problem that a team experiences with an MIA boss can be decreased morale that’s often a result of the lack of direction and lack of managerial visibility. Teams want to see their leader, and when they don’t for long stretches, it can feel demoralizing. In some ways it’s worse than actually being without a leader because when there is a true vacancy, there’s a legitimate reason for the void, and of course, the void is known to be temporary so staff are often much more understanding. However, when there is a person assigned to that leadership role, and they’re just never around, it can feel like a personal affront. Staff may wonder if the leader isn’t terribly interested in their own group, is focused on other external interests, or simply isn’t dedicated to the team or its purpose. To make matters worse, if the MIA boss’s frequent absences are causing the team to miss information that should have trickled down to them, miss opportunities, or experience increased workloads as they pick up the slack for their out-of-office boss, resentment can manifest and spread quickly. Indeed, the MIA boss is a huge challenge, not just because they can wreak havoc on their team but also because the team can feel helpless to change the situation. So the obvious question becomes … what can you do with an MIA boss?

TECHNIQUES FOR MANAGING THE MIA BOSS

I’ll be the first to admit that there is no simple solution when it comes to managing up with an MIA boss. It’s important to approach the situation reasonably and not have unrealistic expectations. Your goal with the MIA boss is not to control their schedule. After all, you’re not their boss, and they may be struggling to control their schedule themselves. Instead, your focus is creating an environment where you’re either less dependent on them, you’re working together more strategically to accommodate their schedule, or they’re motivated to make adjustments as needed to provide additional support.

Here are a few tried and true techniques.

Get to Know Their Admin or Assistant and Leverage Their Access to the Boss if Possible

There’s a reason why assistants’ desks are often covered with flowers and muffin baskets. Everyone knows they are the gatekeepers with tons of information, access to the boss, and power over their schedule. If the MIA boss has an assistant, admin, or secretary, that person likely knows much more about their schedule, and they may also communicate with them multiple times a day whether the boss is in the office or not. Admins indeed have lots of power so it never hurts to befriend them. Get to know them a bit—genuinely! Don’t be obnoxious, but it definitely helps if you can look for areas of commonality whether it’s living in the same general neighborhood, sharing a hobby, rooting for the same sports team, or struggling with similar parenting issues. Those issues can become icebreakers that provide an authentic entry point for a warmer, stronger relationship. If they like you, they’ll typically be much more willing to get your documents in front of the MIA boss for signature, mention a change to the boss’s schedule that might impact your work, or volunteer to ask the boss a question on your behalf when they’re running between meetings.

Another powerful reason to befriend the assistant is that they might be the best mentor for learning how to best manage the MIA boss. Every boss is different, so the most effective approach will be highly customized to that particular person’s personality, and who knows their personality better than their assistant! If the boss is an MIA boss, their assistant has likely struggled as you have with their sporadic accessibility, so they’ve likely determined what techniques work well and which don’t. You can benefit from their trial and error efforts—why run the risk of irritating the boss with techniques that make the situation worse? Ask the assistant for advice instead and learn from their possible mistakes. It might sound something like this: “Karen, I really have to hand it to you. Austin has such a broad portfolio of responsibility and travels constantly, but somehow you seem to keep all the plates spinning without any of them crashing to the floor. How do you do it given his hectic schedule? I’m going to be honest with you. I’ve been struggling with figuring out the best way to leverage his minimal time in the office without nagging him to death. You seem like you’ve mastered that. Any suggestions?”

A few tips for befriending the assistant:

• Don’t be a nuisance! Passing by their cube for a cordial “Good morning, how’s everything going? Did you catch the game last night?” is fine. Stalking them throughout the day, becoming too intrusive, barraging them with questions as they’re on the phone or walking to the bathroom is not. I’d always preface anything other than a casual passing comment with “Do you have a moment now or should I come back later?”

• Consider how well they seem to work with the MIA boss before you decide to ask for their advice. If they seem to have a poor relationship with the MIA boss, they obviously may not be a great source of advice. You definitely want to learn from someone who has figured out a formula that works, not someone who might be at odds with the boss themselves. We don’t want the blind leading the blind, so if their relationship with the boss isn’t visibly strong, look for another mentor in this regard. If you have a particularly strong relationship with another manager or even a peer in the organization, consider seeking their advice instead.

Inquire about the Possibility of Using a Group Calendar for Scheduling Purposes

If your boss has limited availability, having an accurate view of when they’ll be in or out becomes critical. Their being out of the office isn’t necessarily a liability if you have ample warning and can plan around the absences. Visibility into their schedule is key. Having the entire team provide access to each other’s calendars and developing a ground rule around keeping calendars up to date is a great way to avoid singling out the MIA boss and instead recommend a best practice for everyone.

To roll this out effectively, it’s best for the team to discuss any concerns and develop a set of ground rules that they feel comfortable with. For example, if there are concerns around providing additional transparency, the group might decide to use nonspecific labels for private personal appointments as needed. Obviously, the group must also decide on their preferred calendar application. The team should also make decisions about how far out their calendars should be populated, how often updates should be made, and so on. Once the team starts relying on a group calendar or group calendar access, it becomes quite apparent that the calendar is only effective if the information is accurate. Ensuring that there is clear communication around expectations for maintaining the group calendar is key.

Remind the Boss that Their Input Is Critical

Contrary to how it may seem, most MIA bosses don’t wake up in the morning devising a plan for being unavailable and frustrating their staff. The reality is that senior leaders often have very full plates which pull them in too many directions and cause them to be out of the office quite a lot. Like most of us, they’re likely doing the best they can and prioritizing their attention based on where they feel they’re most needed. Sometimes subordinates can fall into the trap of making the situation worse by either failing to remind the MIA boss that their input/support is needed or worse yet, pretending that they’ve got everything under control so much so that the MIA boss assumes their presence isn’t needed. Yes, it’s important to project a sense of confidence and competence, so you certainly don’t want to seem overly needy, but it’s important to strike a balance between autonomy and healthy collaboration.

To help manage this conversation, consider shifting your mindset from one of asking for more face time to one of planning strategically to ensure the project or work tasks have the support necessary to be successful. Here are a couple of examples of two different conversation approaches:

Personal focus. “Austin, I’d really like to talk to you about your schedule and availability. Our last two meetings were cancelled, and I can’t move forward on the Milam tasks without your input. I know you’re super busy, but I thought I should speak up and see if there’s any way I can get more time on your calendar moving forward.”

Work focus. “Hey, Austin, if you have a minute, I’d like to update you on the Milam project. I know how important this one is, so I want to be sure you’re in the loop as I know you’re traveling a lot this month. Our draft design documents should be completed this week, then we’ll need to conduct a series of reviews over the next month to make our 12/31 due date. Of course, we’ve got the technical expertise on the team, but we really need your input on how well the design addresses the strategic needs from a customer perspective (since you have that background). Since you’re the best person to provide that insight, I just want to be sure we have a plan for getting your feedback given your travel schedule. Obviously, if we focus strictly on the technical feasibility without taking the holistic view of the customer (where you have so much expertise), we’re not going to meet the mark and may end up having to redesign at some point in the future and no one wants that. What are your thoughts?”

As part of this conversation, it’s important to brainstorm creative options for working around the MIA boss’s absences. Are there ways to mine their vast expertise and experience without their physical presence? Options might include:

• Video conferencing

• Conducting separate one-on-one meetings with them before or after a planned absence to get their specific input

• Instead of just emailing them documents that require their input, schedule a call with them to walk them through the document and solicit their feedback in real time. Also, consider preparing a one- or two-page summary document with specific questions so they don’t feel overwhelmed by the entire document.

• Explore whether there might be nontraditional times (early morning, during lunch, toward close of business) when you can contact them to solicit feedback, particularly during crunch times or if other strategies haven’t worked.

• Proactively factor forecasted absences (for the boss and others) into the project schedule.

• Agree on a specific process for soliciting approvals, such as funneling them through an admin assistant, sending an email with a specific subject line and a simultaneous voice mail, and so on.

Ask for Their Recommendations for Alternate Support Options while They’re Out of the Office

The truth of the matter is that sometimes the boss won’t be around or reachable, and their approval, decision making, or input is needed to resolve an issue. To prepare for these realities, it’s certainly prudent to define appropriate backups who can act in the manager’s absence. With an MIA boss in particular, it’s important that they define a specific person to serve as their in-charge when they’re out of the office. Now, many of us know that there are valid in-charges who truly can act on the manager’s behalf. Then there are in-charges who are a bit of a joke—the warm body who drew the short straw to be the noted contact on their Out of Office message with little or no prep from the boss and even less power to truly take action on the boss’s behalf. If the MIA boss isn’t leaving a valid in-charge person, they should be made aware of the impact that this is having on workflow while they’re out.

Another important issue to consider is whether there are other senior leaders in the organization who might be able to provide support as needed in the absence of the MIA boss. While looking beyond the MIA boss organizationally or hierarchically might seem like a perfectly logical step, it’s an admittedly tricky one. It’s certainly not a career advancer to make your boss feel like you’re constantly going around them to collaborate with other senior leaders “behind their back.” To avoid that potentially dicey issue, it’s better to ask the MIA boss for advice regarding how you might seek support while they’re out of the office to ensure tasks aren’t adversely impacted. It might sound like this: “Austin, I know your travel schedule will be crazy next month as a result of the reorg. I want to be sure we can do everything possible to keep the trains running here so you don’t have to worry about key projects on a day-to-day basis. When we need approvals in order to move forward or need a decision on an important issue, is there anyone else you’d suggest we might engage?” The key is that they recommend the outside resource so that later when you do need to engage them, it’s not viewed as you going around your boss. Of course, it generally is best to continue to copy the MIA boss on any communications to keep them in the loop. In the event that they’re not in agreement with something, it gives them the opportunity to chime in and still feel included.

Ask How You Can Help

Empathy is so important when managing up with a difficult boss. It’s so easy to assume they’re being difficult just to make our lives a nightmare and lose sight of the fact that they’re probably overloaded and struggling to make it work like everyone else. If they have some sense of self-awareness, the MIA boss likely knows they should be around more, and that can add an additional level of stress. Believe it or not, many bosses appreciate a bit of empathy every now and then. I was really heartened to see several survey respondents comment on the importance of empathizing with their boss whether they viewed them as difficult or not. Several respondents mentioned the importance of occasionally asking their boss if there’s anything they can take off their plate. Oftentimes, managers are saddled with miscellaneous random tasks that may not be mission critical but are laborious and time consuming. Offloading one or two of these tasks can be a tremendous help. Look for opportunities to take on some of those “bottom of the food chain” type tasks like conducting some time-consuming research, coordinating logistics for an important event, documenting meeting notes, developing a draft presentation that they can later finalize, preparing talking points for an important client meeting, or even bringing doughnuts for a breakfast meeting. Volunteering to attend certain meetings, take on the dog project that no one else wants, or stepping up to offer to take the lead on a particular task can also expand your network and repertoire of skills/experience. These small steps can make a huge difference—not just the practical benefit of the time saved for the MIA boss but also the emotional benefit of increased goodwill with your manager. No, you don’t want to become a human dumping ground for the work that others don’t want to do, so use discretion, but certainly look for opportunities to make yourself valuable and lighten their load in the process. They will remember the gesture and possibly begin to think of you more when they need someone reliable to step up to help provide leadership (which is usually not a bad thing).

WHAT TO DO IF YOU ARE THE MIA BOSS

As you read this chapter, you may be scratching your head wondering if you’ve been the MIA boss to your team. With the prevalence of required travel for business meetings, conferences, training, along with vacations and personal commitments that also pull us away from the office, it’s not difficult to unwittingly morph into the MIA boss.

Take a quiz (Figure 6.1) to see if you might fall into this difficult boss behavior style.

Figure 6.1 The MIA Self-Reflection Opportunity

Note: This is a nonscientific assessment tool.

Scoring

IMPROVEMENT STRATEGIES FOR THE MIA BOSS

Lose your MIA boss reputation by using these best practices:

• Keep your calendar updated as much as possible and provide access to all team members.

• Check in with your assistant or other designate at least twice daily.

• Develop/authorize a specific process for staff to use if you’ve dropped the ball on something and they need you to respond by close of business (leaving a voice mail, resending an email with Urgent in the subject line, etc.).

• Establish a clearly defined process for team members to receive necessary approvals or other support while you’re out of the office.

• Identify another manager who can step in for you as needed to help provide necessary support to your team.

• Make every attempt to plan time out of the office as far in advance as possible and share that information with your team proactively.

• Make every effort to participate in project kickoff meetings in person (even if only for a portion of the meeting) and assign new work in person if at all possible. As a general rule, strive for face-to-face communication initially, then follow up by email or phone as needed going forward.

• Ask team members for honest, anonymous feedback on your level of accessibility.

• Make a point to conduct one-on-one sessions with direct reports monthly (if possible) and include this request during the session: “Please share one or two ways I can help better support you or your projects.”

• Carve out two to four days a year to conduct offsite team retreats to gain quality time with your team.