Align yourself with people of extraordinary character and competence.

—John Mattone

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO align yourself with people of extraordinary character and competence? Who are those people? Are they your mentors? Your bosses? The people who work with you or for you? As a leader, you might read my quote above and immediately think of your team and your peers; however, becoming a leader can happen at any time. It only starts once you commit to it. This builds your foundation, and it happens throughout your life, maybe even early in your life as it did for Kathy Mazzarella.

Born in Pasadena, Kathy Mazzarella was like many other girls growing up in Southern California in the 1960s. Good grades but not great, good looking but yet blending in, shy and soft-spoken. By her own account, Kathy was your average Southern California girl. Following the notorious Watts riots, Kathy's family migrated to the relative peace and calm of Orange County when Orange County was still dotted with actual orange groves, trees swaying in the salty, Pacific Ocean breeze. Kathy saw the change from fast-paced Los Angeles County to sleepy Orange County as an opportunity for change, a place to start anew.

Her father's strong belief in the power of education to transform one's life inspired him to work extra jobs to earn the money to send Kathy and her siblings to the local parochial school. It was there, at that new private school in Orange County, that Kathy decided to commit herself to transform her life's trajectory. A voice inside her rose up, determined to stand out from the crowd. She committed herself, quite simply, to be extraordinary.

It wasn't easy. It didn't happen overnight. She joined sports teams but won no ribbons. She dedicated herself to her schoolwork but wasn't first in her class. She ran for school office and lost. She auditioned for the school play and did not get the part.

But she didn't give up. Here her character formed.

After trying out for the cheerleading team and making it, she was off and running. This turning point gave her hope and proved that her goal to be not just ordinary, but extraordinary, was not just a dream. She decided to run for student body president. She thought to herself, I can run, but can I win?

She'd be running against more popular girls—girls with long-standing social currency, girls who could win without much effort. Was it worth it? Kathy's father gave her some words of wisdom: “Whatever you do, never sell yourself short. Always go for the number one spot.”

So, young Kathy ran for student body president and won. She realized then that it is always better to go for it and lose than to settle for second place. She finished third in her class, as a cheerleader and student body president, which was enough to get her a full ride scholarship to the University of Rochester in Rochester, New York. Here her competence developed.

In the fall, Kathy left sunny Orange County, her family, and high school boyfriend behind to study pre-med at Rochester. She was achieving extraordinary goals—everything was going as planned. There was just one problem: Kathy was miserable. She was earning good grades and doing exactly what was expected of her, but she wasn't happy. The science classes felt wrong, the cold felt wrong, it all felt wrong. Kathy did the unthinkable: she dropped out, forfeiting her scholarship. It wasn't the rational choice, but Kathy was following something deeper—her instincts. As she returned to her parents' new home in Northern California, she had that nagging feeling of failure she remembered having as a teenager.

Recognizing she needed to find work, Kathy, the 19-year-old college dropout, got polished up one morning and set out for an appointment at an employment agency. Not knowing the area, she got lost. She stopped in at an office building to ask directions. At the desk, the receptionist asked if she was looking for work. She said, “yes.” And so, at 19 years old, with less than a year of college under her belt, Kathy became a customer service rep at Graybar, a North American distributor of electrical and data communications products. During the interview, they asked her what she wanted to do at Graybar. Kathy answered: “I want to run the company.” The hiring manager laughed, not knowing Kathy's inner drive. The words of her father echoed in her head: You always go for number one.

She committed herself to being extraordinary, and it would become her destiny.

Graybar is an employee-owned Fortune 500 company whose secret to success is a promote-from-within culture that values and recognizes the contributions of its more than 8,200 employees. Kathy Mazzarella was hired at 19 as a customer service rep and, over 35 years of dedicated service, rose through the ranks to become Graybar's chairman, president, and CEO. In addition to being Graybar's first female chairman, president, and CEO, she is one of the 23 female CEOs on the 2015 Fortune 500 list.

Many things have changed at Graybar over the three decades since 19-year-old Kathy arrived. But one thing remains the same: Graybar's values. Core values of integrity, employee ownership, long-term view, and customer focus are the very foundation for Graybar's success. With a leader like Kathy—who learned her values from hardworking parents, who honed her values in high school and even her first, failed attempt at college (she would later return, supported by Graybar)—Graybar is in good hands.

Since 1929, Graybar has remained independent and employee-owned. All of its shareholders are either current employees or retirees, many of whom have built successful careers with the company. I sat down with Kathy to talk about how Graybar grows its own leaders and how character and competence continue to play a role in the company's success.

Over the past few years, we've brought a lot of new talent into the organization, including many recent college graduates. When I talk to these newer employees, they are enthusiastic and confident in their ability to make a positive impact. I find that attitude inspiring and want to nurture this kind of mind-set throughout the organization to maintain real, sustainable transformation.

Let's face it. Work can be tough, and we all get knocked down by the everyday demands of our jobs. If we can stay focused on a broader purpose, it helps develop a mind-set that puts those everyday challenges into perspective.

When I came in as CEO, I wanted to break down those perceived barriers. I wanted people to understand that we're all on the same team and that they're always welcome to visit and to reach out to anyone within the company—including me.

I'm also highly competitive and am always looking for ways to improve and grow. That helps me achieve more on a personal level, and also from a business perspective, as we seek out new opportunities and big ideas that can transform our company for the future.

Finally, I believe my ability to be real and authentic is an important strength. I realized this not too long ago when I went to visit my dad in the hospital. As I waited for my dad, I sat next to a man who was homeless and wanted to find a nearby shelter. The nurse was talking to him and I pulled out my computer to try and help him find the information he needed.

Later, my mom said to me, “Never lose that, because it's your biggest strength.” I didn't know she meant and asked, “What?” She said, “You're real. You're the CEO of a major corporation and you treated that man as your equal.”

I never consciously thought about how important it is to see and value the humanity in others until my mother made that statement. It made me realize that, at the end of the day, we are alike in far more ways than we are different.

As leaders, I think it's so important to be human, to treat others with respect and forge connections, even when it appears we have very little in common.

In terms of areas for improvement, I am my own toughest critic and I constantly worry that I might fail or let others down. I feel an immense responsibility for the long-term health of my company and for all of the customers and families that depend on us. Every day, I do my best to make Graybar stronger for the next generation.

But I know there's more expected of me as a leader. I am committed to helping others, our company, and our community to reach our next goals … to continue being extraordinary.

From a company perspective, Graybar is in a highly competitive industry that is grappling with dramatic changes in the ways customers want to interact, the services they need, and the measurable results they expect. Advancements in technology are impacting all aspects of our business, and like most companies, we expect talent to be one of the most critical challenges in the years to come. Navigating these changes and leading the company to a whole new level of success is my primary focus right now.

On a personal level, one of the things I'd like to do in the future is to earn my PhD. I have this constant hunger to learn. And the more I learn, the more I realize I don't know. I also have a long list of places to visit, mountains to climb, and goals to accomplish.

But I think centered is a good word. I am more at peace with myself than I was in the past, and some of that just comes with age. You reach a point in your life when you start recognizing that your time is limited. And you realize that what matters is more than just your own achievements. It's the legacy. And the legacy in itself is the achievement and what you want to be known for.

But at the end of the day, I've learned that it's about making life better for those who will follow. It's about showing that you care and want to make a positive impact.

When I think about what I want my legacy to be, I would say this: I want to be known for building an organization that honors its past while inspiring a new era of employee ownership that provides opportunities for the future growth and success of Graybar. On a more personal level, I want to be known as someone who improved the lives of others.

At Graybar, we have a very strong culture. Our people are engaged. They do what they need to do, and they're very committed to the company and our customers.

But over time, we can see how certain behaviors begin to form patterns and develop into habits. We sometimes forget why we do what we do, because it's just the way we've always done things.

If we're going to compete and grow our business profitably, we need to change the way we work. We can leverage the positive aspects of our culture, such as loyalty, dedication, and engagement, and just shift some behaviors to begin transforming the organization.

As leaders, we also have to understand that a true transformation takes time and effort. If we want to raise the level of performance, it's not enough to just tell people to do it. They need to go through the stages of letting go of the old ways of working, dealing with uncertainty and relearning something new. You have to manage their fear and earn their trust before they will follow you to a place where they haven't been. You have to challenge their thinking and their assumptions, while encouraging them to explore new ideas and try new things. And then we'll get the productivity. If you're going to transform an organization or leverage culture, you must first change behavior—individually and then on a broader scale.

It's hard work, but you and your leadership team can't give up. You have to keep constant, steady pressure to move everyone in the same direction.

I wouldn't say we're all in the same place across the organization, but I think overall we're heading in the right direction. The key for us is to keep going and pushing ahead.

But over the last few months, I've heard several of these long-term employees share their enthusiasm about the new direction we're going. For example, I met with one of our long-term employees, who said, “I love this new talent we're bringing in. I'm so excited. It's really going to change everything.” And I thought, Wow, that's pretty cool.

It's great to get that kind of support. What's even better is that many of these long-term employees are highly respected within their spheres of influence. When their direct reports, peers, customers, or suppliers hear them make these comments, it validates the transformation journey and helps us accelerate our progress.

In a small start-up, leaders can take a very hands-on approach in building their teams from the ground up. But as organizations grow and mature, you have to trust others to build your team.

That's why I think it's vitally important to choose leaders who recognize that leadership is not about promoting their own self-interests, but rather, about making their teams stronger and more successful. You need leaders who believe in your vision and strategy and can translate it into action for their people. And, you need leaders with character and integrity, who set the right example and model the right behaviors.

Leadership isn't limited to a select few at the top of the organization. We need strong leaders at all levels to achieve lasting change.