Eliminate distractions

State the importance to you up front

Incorporate conversational pauses

Show receptive body language

Set a situational intention:

•How do you want to make this person feel? How do you need to show up to put that feeling in the room?

Take a deep breath before you begin

Reset your energy (change location, take a walk, etc.)

Reflect on a positive to defuse stress

Know and preempt where you’re likely to jump to conclusions

Ask questions out of curiosity, not to be leading

Detach from the outcome

Say “I don’t know” if it’s true

Know your core values and brand

Share cogent leadership stories

State your intentions and be explicitly transparent

Use genuine language and express vulnerability with competency

Tell others the strengths you see in them

Make a point to sincerely recognize the efforts of others

Use phrases such as:

•I see [this] in you

•You’re always good at [this].

•I’m proud of you for [this].

•I’ve seen how you’ve grown/progressed.

•Let me share what I see is possible for you.

Listen for the whole person rather than the facts

Listen for text and subtext rather than just for text

Listen for what the other person needs to say and not what you need to hear

Listen out of curiosity rather than to judge

Understand up front what gives you energy about your message

Know what mood you want to convey

Calibrate your energy to your audience and environment

Emote energy through rate of speech, voice inflection, facial expressions, gestures, and energetic words

Couple emotion with logic to convey your message

Make emotional appeals

Use emotion words that tap into feelings

Tell engaging stories that transport listeners

Make yourself visible (if virtual, use video)

Align your nonverbal with your words, and both with your intent

Speak simply and directly

Orient your body OUT: open, up, and toward

Guide others toward purpose, exploring:

•What they’re good at doing

•What they enjoy doing

•What they find useful

•What has forward-momentum

•What builds relationships to others

Openly share your own purpose with others

Activate your personal presence brand and schedule time to reconcile actions against it

Prioritize activities and people who inspire you

Take risks toward your purpose

Communicate what you’re saying no to and yes to and why

Have honest conversations rather than avoiding conflict

Prioritize purpose and lead by values

Decisively jump and decisively let go