THREE
Managing the Tornado
“Don’t mind me intimidating everyone at your project meetings. I’m just helping you speed things along.”
SAMPLE WORKPLACE INTERACTION WITH “THE TORNADO”
Chris: Thanks, everyone, for joining today. I know I’m not the only one who is super excited about nailing down the short list of suppliers for this system implementation. We all want to avoid the fiasco of last year, of course.
Milton (the Tornado boss): That’s an understatement, Chris! We cannot afford to lose this client, and the supplier choice can mean the difference between success and failure. I’m also a bit concerned about timing, and the sooner we can move things forward and actually start implementation, the better off we’ll all be. The VP really wants the implementation to happen yesterday, so we need to just pick a supplier and move on. Obviously, we won’t use last year’s supplier, and Jackson seems like a safe pick, so going with them should be a no-brainer.
Chris: Milton, if you don’t mind, I’d like to jump in to be sure we’re ready to just select Jackson. Today, I’d planned to convene the team to consider different suppliers, discuss pros and cons, selection criteria, etc., and possibly end with a vote from the team ….
Milton (interrupting): Well, that sounds great in theory, but I’m just not sure that we have that kind of time, and if we’re still going to land on the same supplier, it’s not worth the time to go through an academic exercise.
Chris: Well, Milton, you’re the boss, so your input is key, of course. It sounds like maybe we should plan to shift gears for today in that case.
Chris slammed the door behind him when he got back to his office. He’d invested weeks of energy, smiling at coworkers, pretending things were great when nothing could be further from the truth. Not only was he managing a difficult project with an aggressive timeline, his biggest problem was his boss (and project sponsor) Milton. Milton was the quintessential bull in a china shop. His dominating personality was not just aggravating as hell but also undermining his credibility with the team and causing increasing levels of intimidation. Chris had noticed over the past several team meetings that it was getting harder and harder to get team members to speak up and provide the sort of honest feedback that would be necessary for them to finish this project on time and on budget.
Chris didn’t even realize that he’d picked up a handful of darts and started throwing them at the target on the back of his door. He couldn’t help but picture Milton’s face smack dab in the middle. Actually, Milton wasn’t a bad guy. They’d had a decent rapport for many years, but once Chris was transferred into Milton’s group as a direct report, he definitely saw a different side to him. This side, unfortunately, was not just hard to deal with but also making his job harder. If Milton kept intimidating everyone with his dominating personality, Chris worried that team morale would suffer, and he would essentially become a figurehead on “Milton’s project.”
THE TORNADO BOSS DEFINED
Unfortunately, many of us have encountered the dominating boss at one time or another. This is the boss who is overbearing at meetings, intimidates subordinates, and discounts others’ opinions. To be clear, there’s nothing wrong with a manager making the final decision on an issue or even overriding a subordinate’s opinion. Oftentimes, managers will have final authority, which is completely appropriate. What we’re talking about here is their nature: intimidating others, preventing group input, or negatively impacting team morale with an overbearing personality. This may be the boss who has introduced you as the lead on a task but then shows up at your first team meeting essentially telling the team what needs to happen. It’s worth noting that the dominating boss is not monolithic. There are several flavors of this boss type, and his or her behavior may look different based on various factors, including individual personality, project importance and visibility, organizational culture, and level of intensity. Here is a sampling of what the dominating boss might look like:
• The boss who has a loud, bombastic personality wherever he goes. He’s probably loud and obnoxious at his own family gatherings, and for him the workplace is no different.
• The boss who tends to take over meetings without realizing it. She may not realize the impact that her senior hierarchical level has on others and blindly pushes her own agenda and suffocates the team in the process.
• The boss with poor social skills or EQ who may be overly aggressive, interrupt and talk over others, and fail to listen without realizing it.
Unfortunately, a dominating boss can have disastrous consequences on subordinates and the larger team by:
• Discouraging candid feedback
• Intimidating subordinates and creating a culture of fear
• Communicating lack of trust in others
• Contributing to poor, less informed team decisions
• Increasing resource turnover
Let’s face it, having a dominating boss is no fun. They can cost an organization otherwise productive workers who choose to leave rather than work for them. Even worse, they can encourage a culture of fear and model dysfunctional leadership behaviors for others to emulate. The good news is that there are specific techniques that can be used to manage this type of difficult boss.
TECHNIQUES FOR MANAGING THE TORNADO BOSS
Yes, there are tons of proven techniques for managing this type of difficult boss. The key to success in many ways lies in appropriately assessing the individual, the situation, and work-related factors to determine what technique or combination of techniques will be most effective in your specific situation.
Meet with Them in Advance of Your Team Meeting to Preempt Problems
The truth is that in most cases if you’re working for the Tornado, you’re well aware of their overbearing tendencies. There’s no need to wait for the TNT explosion during the team meeting. If the meeting is set for Friday and you have concerns, get on the Tornado’s calendar for Monday (even if you can only secure fifteen or twenty minutes). This pre-meeting can provide you an opportunity to:
• Review your basic plan/agenda to determine (without an audience) if the Tornado has any “constructive feedback.” If they’re going to shred your intended agenda or explode about a specific issue, this gives them an opportunity to do so outside the presence of the team. If you need to shift direction based on their feedback/preferences, this gives you time to do so before the meeting.
• Feel them out on a particular topic to determine in advance if they have strong opinions one way or another. If you realize that the supplier selection criteria discussion is the hot button issue for them (and hence this might be where the wheels come off the wagon during the meeting), try to elicit as much information as you can to better manage that discussion and, if all else fails, place the more controversial issues toward the end of the agenda.
• Get their support in “holding back” or at least not being overbearing in the meeting. You’re trying to avoid the classic scenario where they’re doing most of the talking, they’re talking over others, or their views are blatantly dominating the meeting decisions. Since this technique is critical but tricky, let’s take a look at how this dialogue might sound.
Chris: Milton, thanks a lot for taking a few minutes to meet with me before the kickoff meeting Friday. I’m so glad you can be there—it really motivates the team when they see executive-level support, so thanks for attending. I did want to chat with you briefly to get a bit of coaching in advance if you don’t mind because I’ve been just a little concerned about something.
Milton: Sure, glad to help. What’s on your mind?
Chris: I know how important it is to the success of the project (and how important it is for both of us) that we elicit really candid feedback from the team. We all know how disastrous it can be for product development when we haven’t fully thought through some of the potential problems and instead we hear about them from the customer—remember the virtual assistant product rollout?
Milton: Oh God, don’t remind me! Yes, that was a disaster. So what are your plans in that regard?
Chris: Well, I’ve devised a few questions to hopefully elicit some really specific, candid feedback on the initial product expansion ideas. The concern I have, though, is that everyone really respects your ideas and opinions of course, and let’s face it, hierarchy makes a difference. I’m worried that instead of sharing their objective ideas, they may just sign on to whatever you say. What do you think?
POTENTIAL RESPONSE OPTIONS…
Milton: Chris, I see your point. What if I hold back and wait to hear their thoughts first, then chime in at the very end so we can see what they come up with?
Chris: Actually, I think that’s a great strategy. Yes, we can both hold back and make sure we hear from them first. Thanks, Milton, great idea!
OR
Milton: Really? The team seems pretty outspoken, but if you think my presence really makes a difference, maybe I could just come for the first twenty minutes or so to kick things off but not stay for the rest of the day? This way having the boss in the room won’t squelch honest feedback.
Chris: I hadn’t thought about that, but I see where that could work. I really want the team to hear your thoughts on the third agenda item, so I could plan to move that up to the beginning so we could hear from you on that before you leave. Then I could definitely schedule a follow-up meeting with you to update you on the output from the kickoff meeting and hear your thoughts. Would that work?
OR
Milton: I hear you, Chris. It’s not the first time I’ve been told I can be a bull in a china shop. You make good points. I may need your help toning it down a bit, though. Feel free to shut me up when you need to.
Chris: Thanks. I definitely want your input. I just want to make sure that we hear more from them and less from us during this meeting. We can synch up afterward to unpack our thoughts in more detail after we hear from them. If I’m not hearing enough from the others, I’ll start to call on them. Thanks so much, Milton, for your help.
The key with this technique is to describe the problem and ask for your boss’s coaching and advice (and avoid any temptation to tell them what to do). In most cases they will come up with their own answers, and I promise it’s infinitely easier to allow them to come up with ideas about how to stifle themselves (while you just nod and agree with their idea) rather than you being in the unenviable position of politely asking your boss to tone it down. Note that you’re not manipulating the situation, because you should be open to whichever course they recommend (unless it’s truly crazy and likely to make the situation worse rather than improve it). The point is that sensitizing them to the issue and, more importantly, focusing on the potential impact on the task, team, or project can be quite powerful. It’s never easy to talk to anyone about a negative behavior of theirs (much less your boss’s) so it’s important during these discussions to focus on the impact of the behavior more than the behavior itself. When you talk about impact issues that matter to them (lost revenue, fewer customers, poor quality products, embarrassing results, etc.), you’re now talking a language that most bosses understand and that gets their attention every time.
Use Round Robin or the Compliment, Document, and Pivot (CDP) Technique
Round Robin
Round Robin is such a simple, easy, and effective technique that you can use in a pinch if the meeting starts to “go left.” If Milton is sucking up all the oxygen in the room, and he’s sitting to your immediate right, you may just want to interject with something like this: “Milton, thanks so much for those points. I’m not sure we had considered outsourcing the packaging. I think this is such an important topic that we need to hear from everyone, so I’d like to do a quick round robin and go around the table to get everyone’s top two ideas for reducing costs. Let’s start with Ann [sitting to your left]. What are your thoughts, Ann?
Now that you’ve instituted a process, Milton has to wait his turn to talk. He’ll still get his chance, but now you’re asking for each person to share a couple of minutes of feedback or a couple of ideas each. Strategically, you want to start the process with someone sitting far away from the dominator so that the dominator’s comments will come toward the end of the process. By implementing a process for everyone, you’re able to address the boss’s behavior specifically without calling them out or risking the tension of trying to get them to stop dominating.
Compliment, Document, and Pivot (CDP)
I love this technique so much that I coined the phrase “Compliment, Document, and Pivot.” I use it all the time, so I know it works! What’s better is that once you start using the technique a lot, it begins to flow naturally and stops feeling like a technique. Let’s revisit our previous example. Milton is bloviating on about outsourcing packaging design. It might be a good point, but you also might want to move on and hear other thoughts. When he’s sounding off like a broken record, your internal dialogue probably sounds something like this: OMG, will he shut up? We’ve got to move on, but I can’t interrupt him, can I? If you’ve had this dialogue with yourself before, the good news is that you’re completely normal. The better news is that the CDP technique gives you a more eloquent way to express those thoughts. It might sound like this:
Chris: Milton, that’s a really interesting idea. I’m not sure about everyone else, but I’d never considered outsourcing the packaging, and I can see where it would result in huge cost savings. It’s a great idea, and I want to be sure we don’t lose it, so let’s jot that down on the flip chart. Milton, have I captured it correctly?
Milton: Yes, that looks right.
Chris: Great, that’s one idea, and I’d like to fill up the page with at least four more before we leave today. I haven’t heard from the other side of the room yet. What are your cost-cutting ideas?
With the CDP technique, you obviously start by complimenting the idea. This may run counter to your mental dialogue (which might be more focused on shutting Milton down), but I find it to be ineffective to give in to that visceral reaction. Oftentimes, a dominator will keep repeating a point in part because they feel that they’re not being heard and attempting to quell them and move on tends to reinforce their feeling that they’re not being heard and their point has not been validated. By complimenting and documenting their point for all to see, you’re validating their point and satisfying that need to be heard, which makes it easier for them to let go and move on (and shut up 
). Once they’ve agreed that the point has been captured, it’s much easier to now pivot to a different person or even a different topic. It often helps to draw placeholder numbers or tick marks on the flip chart or whiteboard (or virtual whiteboard for a virtual meeting) to send a subliminal message to the others that you fully expect them to share additional thoughts.
Solicit Written Feedback Occasionally
Most meeting leaders default to free open discussion for most topics, and this can provide fertile ground for dominating behaviors to flourish and thrive. It certainly makes it more difficult for less assertive participants to be heard in a free-for-all open discussion where often only the loudest and most aggressive participants get significant airtime. Indeed, in these situations the responsibility lies with the more docile, less assertive attendees to interrupt others or force themselves to become more aggressive just to get a word in edgewise and substantively impact the group’s discussion and decisions. To avoid this dynamic, it’s often much better to move away from the reliance on verbal dialogue exclusively and instead incorporate some written feedback as well.
What does that look like? Imagine that your team is trying to develop a list of functional requirements for a new content management system. Instead of just asking everyone to chime in with their thoughts and recommendations, give each person a pad of sticky notes, and ask the team to take sixty seconds to individually write down their requirements (one per sticky note). Once the minute is up, go around the table one at a time asking each person to share one requirement until all are exhausted. Even if you don’t have time to hear them all this way, you can collect all the notes, which ensures that you have feedback from everyone (even if you go through some of them after the meeting). If you have time, you could even post the comments on a wall and group them into similar categories, then allow participants to use sticker dots to vote on their top picks. Figures 3.1, 3.2, and 3.3 depict sample output from a workshop that I conducted years ago with university staff struggling to improve their efficiency and effectiveness. Figure 3.1 provides a snapshot of part of the actual affinity diagram. Figure 3.2 shows how I represented the full affinity diagram output in a presentation format. (Note that the number counts represent the number of votes for that issue category, not the number of comments in the category.) Finally, Figure 3.3 illustrates how the diagram output easily translates into a prioritized listing. Note the focus statement: I think our group would be more effective and efficient if ….
Figure 3.1 Portion of a Sample Affinity Diagram-Workshop Activity
Issues Workshop Comments
I think our group would be more effective and efficient if …
Number of votes represented in parentheses
Figure 3.2 Sample Affinity Diagram Output
This affinity diagramming style technique has huge benefits:
• Everyone contributes equally (no dominating).
• It’s so efficient—within one or two minutes you may capture a broader variety of tangible feedback in writing than you would have in an hour of conducting a verbal free-for-all.
• Since individuals are writing down their own comments, you don’t have to worry about capturing them correctly on a flip chart or whiteboard. (You may have to worry about deciphering handwriting later, though, so ask them to write legibly.) I typically ask participants to write their comments in black marker on larger sticky notes so that they’re visible if I choose to stick them onto a flip chart or whiteboard for discussion as they’re reviewed with the full group.
• It neutralizes the dominating boss without addressing them specifically. Because you’ve now instituted a facilitation technique that applies to everyone, their behavior is proactively managed without your having to engage in a verbal tug of war with them. Yes!
The Issues Workshop Identified Key Organizational Concerns
I think our group would be more effective and efficient if…
Issue Category |
# Votes |
Effectively Managing Communication Channels |
8 |
Student Accountability |
4 |
Project Management |
3 |
Business Outreach/Support |
3 |
Clear Team Goals/Strategy |
2 |
Tools |
2 |
Interdepartmental Collaboration |
2 |
Roles and Responsibilities |
2 |
Meeting Management |
1 |
Parking |
1 |
Employee Benefits |
1 |
Figure 3.3 Summarized Affinity Diagram Feedback-Prioritized Issues
Get Agreement to Use a Prop or Physical Gesture to Facilitate More Balanced Discussion
Everyone has been there—the boss or some senior level leader is droning on, and you know that you need to move on, but you don’t dare interrupt them. After all, you’ve got kids in that expensive private school, right? What does it matter if everyone’s eyes are rolling back in their head and the meeting is running over time? Well, the ostrich in the sand approach may seem tempting, but it definitely doesn’t address the problem.
This next technique provides a great way to help move things along without having to verbally interrupt the boss. It’s called the E.L.M.O. technique, and it works best when you discuss the technique with the team at the beginning of the meeting or, better yet, when the team is forming. The way it works is this: the team brings a small plush toy or stuffed animal to their meeting room and places it in the center of the table. The team agrees in advance that anytime anyone in the meeting thinks that the discussion has gone on too long, the speaker is beating a dead horse, or the discussion may have veered off topic, they can just pick up the object to signal that the group needs to wrap up discussion. In this case E.L.M.O. is an acronym for Everybody, Let’s Move On. It’s amazing how well it works—even with senior leaders! Most groups that I work with find that you don’t even have to pick up the object. If anyone starts reaching in the direction of it, the dominator gets the point and moves on (and the team typically gets a chuckle as well). Even if teams are shy about picking it up when the boss is speaking, having a plush toy or stuffed animal on the table as a proactive reminder helps tremendously.
Usually around this time in my training classes, someone will ask, “Well, what about virtual meetings/conference calls?” and I’ve got an even better version for those situations. On my teams we developed a ground rule that anytime anyone on the call felt that we needed to move on, they would just hit the # sign on the phone. I liked this version of the technique even better because it was completely anonymous so participants were even less inhibited about hitting # if some senior leader needed to be nudged along. Truth be told, on some of my project calls I’d have situations where the Director or VP would be pontificating well beyond what was necessary from my perspective and instead of having to awkwardly cut them off, I would just hit the # sign myself and say, “Jill, I’m so sorry. It sounds like someone hit the pound sign. Would you mind summarizing the takeaway for us so I can be sure we capture it correctly in the meeting notes?”
Debrief the Meeting
This technique can be executed in a couple of different ways. It can be viewed as the opposite of the first technique (meeting with them in advance of your team meeting) if you choose to meet with them privately to reflect on the meeting. This certainly doesn’t have to be the sole purpose of the meeting; it could simply be one agenda item that you choose to include during your regular weekly, biweekly, or monthly one-on-one meeting with your boss. The intention is twofold:
1. Give them an opportunity to pause and reflect on their contribution to and impact on the group.
2. Provide an opportunity for you to offer them some feedback (only if you feel it’s appropriate).
Approach 1: Solicit Their Reflection and Feedback
Let me unpack each of these in a bit more detail. First, part of managing up is seeing a boss or senior leader’s weaknesses and helping them minimize those whenever possible. Give them an opportunity to really pause and reflect on their contributions to the meeting, impact on the rest of the team, and overall style. Often, given the time to really consider their behavior and contributions after the fact, the Tornado boss will identify their own behavioral challenges, and that awareness is a huge first step in improving the behavior. To make this more effective, consider strategically wording your question to them to remind them of the meeting goals and emphasize your potential concern areas. You might use wording like this:
“Milton, I really appreciate your coming to Monday’s team meeting. I know how busy you are. I did want to take a few minutes to ask for your thoughts on the meeting, though. I know this is a high-profile project and we’ve got a lot to accomplish within a really short time, so I have to ensure these meetings are running well. One of my main goals for the meeting was to encourage more collaboration within the team and draw out some of the quieter team members. In particular, Cindy from finance and Martin from R&D are newer members to the team, and I know their input is going to be key for our success. Your thoughts?”
Or you could use wording that is more task focused:
“Milton, I just wanted to get your thoughts on Monday’s meeting. A key goal was to solicit broad feedback on different cost-cutting approaches. I know we discussed your idea about outsourcing packaging, but I’m not sure I have much feedback from the rest of the group, and I know that considering a variety of options is important to ensure we make smart choices about how to move forward. Your thoughts?”
An alternative to asking your boss for their feedback privately during a separate one-on-one discussion is conducting a debrief with the full group at the end of the meeting. I personally think this is a really valuable tool to help address dysfunctional meeting behaviors or habits. Debriefing your meeting is very simple. Typically, I begin the process with comments like this:
“Guys, I really appreciate your taking the time for these weekly meetings. I know your time is valuable, and I want to ensure that these meetings are productive and a good use of everyone’s time. I’d like to take a few minutes to ask each of you to share one thing that you think worked well in our meeting today and one thing that possibly we should do differently going forward.”
To facilitate this process, I write out the following on a flip chart or whiteboard, then conduct a Round Robin activity going around the room asking each person to share one comment for each column (see Table 3.1).
Soliciting this “Do Differently” feedback from everyone is a great way to highlight difficulties without confronting a particular individual. The goal here is to allow the Tornado to hear from the team that their input is somewhat overbearing and negatively impacting the team. Team members won’t likely spell that out bluntly during the meeting debrief, but they’ll likely comment on it subtly (e.g., we didn’t hear from everyone or we seemed to focus on only one potential solution). You can then piggyback on those “Do Differently” comments.
Table 3.1 Sample Debrief Tool
Typically, after I document all the comments, I thank participants, then focus on the Do Differently listing and ask the team to suggest ideas for how to address those concerns. This process creates an opportunity for the “violators” to see the impact that some of their behaviors are having on the meeting, and it makes the point in a much more powerful way because I’m not wagging my finger telling them that they’re dominating the discussion; instead, they’re seeing the issue raised by the team. I love this approach because it makes a stronger impression on the Tornado (because the feedback is coming from a group, not just an individual) and it also saves me from having to confront the Tornado directly (instead, I’m simply following up on issues raised by the team).
Approach 2: Proactively Offer Feedback (as appropriate)
The above techniques are all focused on helping your boss see the problem so you don’t have to be the bearer of bad news, but if that’s not working, it’s reasonable to highlight the issues for them if you sense a window of opportunity. The question is how to do it, as that can certainly prove to be a dicey discussion. Oftentimes, approach #1 (asking them to share their opinion on the meeting) will naturally lead to them asking for your feedback as well, which serves as a convenient invitation for you to share the solicited advice. However, this does not mean that subordinates should coach, lecture, reprimand, or even fix their boss. That’s not what I’m advocating. But the honest reality is that virtually all of us have weaknesses that can also become blind spots. To an extent all team members benefit when those around them are willing to share constructive feedback (as long as it’s coming from a place of good intention). A first step in many cases is simply creating a bit of awareness of those weaknesses that the team member simply may not have. Will all bosses appreciate the subtle nudging? Of course not! Just as there are some friends who may not appreciate being told they have spinach in their teeth or being offered a breath mint; however, the majority are indeed grateful for the honest feedback.
Figure 3.4 Different Wording Approaches for Offering Feedback
For some situations you may determine that it might not work well to ask the boss for their impressions of the meeting and instead, you should just offer your views. Using this approach, consider commenting on observable impacts as well as tangible results (see Figure 3.4).
Obviously, technique effectiveness is dependent to a large extent on your relationship with your boss—the stronger the relationship, the more honest and direct you can likely be. I remember once leaving an important client meeting with my boss Michael. I’d always been a strong presenter, but for some reason I just felt off during that particular presentation. After we left, I casually asked him, “Well, what did you think?” He just patted me on the shoulder and said, “Well, I’ve seen you present better.” It was short and sweet and honest! I so remember how his honest, constructive feedback strengthened our already strong relationship. I appreciated the fact that he didn’t feel the need to sugarcoat or lie to make me feel better. He respected me enough to tell me the honest truth. In many boss–subordinate relationships, though, the bond isn’t strong enough to just blurt out exactly what you’re thinking, so take time to carefully consider how you deliver the message.
WHAT TO DO IF YOU ARE THE TORNADO BOSS
If you’re starting to notice some tornadic-type activity in your own personality or management style, not to worry. It’s completely normal that many of us will find pieces of ourselves in one or more of these difficult boss types—that’s just part of being human and fallible. The great news is that identifying and acknowledging some of these tendencies is the first step toward regulating them so that they don’t become a barrier to our effectiveness in the workplace. While there may not be a test that can tell you whether you’re a Tornado type or not, I’ve included some self-reflection questions (Figure 3.5) that you can ask yourself to determine whether or not any of these issues might resonate with you. While I provide scoring, this isn’t meant to be a formal assessment but instead provide an opportunity for you to reflect on the questions to determine whether you might need to address these behaviors within your own management or general work style.
Figure 3.5 The Tornado Self-Reflection Opportunity
Note: This is a nonscientific assessment tool.
Scoring
0–3 |
You’re a rock star. Immediately pass Go and collect $200. |
4–7 |
Don’t panic. You’re completely normal, but take note of some of the strategies in the next section. Your team will love you even more for it! |
Houston, we have a problem! Please get out a highlighter and prepare to take copious notes! |
|
12–14 |
Reread this chapter immediately. You are absolutely the quintessential Tornado. That’s the bad news, but the great news is that you can change this. Please read on. |
IMPROVEMENT STRATEGIES FOR THE TORNADO BOSS
Soften your Tornado boss reputation by using these best practices:
• Develop a habit of holding back in meetings to allow a couple of others to comment on a topic before you chime in.
• Solicit 360 feedback (from peers, subordinates, and others) annually and more casual anonymous feedback more regularly to try to elicit candid opinions on how you’re viewed.
• Listen actively when talking to others (pretend that you’ll be quizzed afterward on what they said).
• Develop a habit of repeating back what you heard from others (particularly subordinates) to check for understanding and let them know that you heard their points.
• Be cognizant of your tone both verbally and in writing. Avoid ALL CAPS and bold for emails and be sure to speak in a moderate tone (and smile periodically) when talking face to face.
• Get to know at least one interesting personal fact about everyone you encounter regularly and ask them about it when you see them.
• During times of heated conflict, turn your statement into a question. Instead of saying, “We need to cancel that vendor contract!” say, “I’m wondering if our best course of action might be canceling the vendor contract? Your thoughts?”
Please keep in mind that no technique is a panacea that works for every boss in every situation. The magic pill unfortunately doesn’t exist. These techniques are very effective, though, so the key is to throw them all into your bag of tricks and then figure out which one will work best in each situation.