Chapter 12

RIGHT RELATIONSHIP AS A PATHWAY FOR QUALITATIVE GROWTH

A FRIEND AND FELLOW business owner frequently says, only half joking, that her business would be great if it were not for her employees and customers. Given that her business has been successful for a decade and she has both a unique work environment and distinguishing service ethic, not to mention a 100 percent referral and repeat rate, she clearly means no disrespect. What she does mean is that her primary challenges of business ownership arise when her desire to foster good relationships collides with the reality that she, her employees, and customers are human beings who don’t always behave perfectly. It’s a classic case of aiming for high ideals in an imperfect world of psyches, egos, and bottom lines.

For big-vision small-business owners, relationships are not just a key component of the plan to differentiate their business from competing firms but a centerpiece of the vision and a prime opportunity for qualitative growth. Right relationships—whether with staff members, clients, vendors, or the community—require conscious decision making, skillful communication, and more than a little commitment to service and personal development. Such a level of relationship goes beyond the norms or minimum standards for employee relations or customer service. In addition to increasing the likelihood of enjoyable projects and repeat business or referrals, right relationship can in itself be a practice of one’s personal mission in the world of work that leads to organizational and personal mastery, as well as spiritual growth.

What are right relationships, and how might a big-vision small-business owner integrate those standards into the activities of his enterprise? One possible definition comes by way of the fable known as The Rabbi’s Gift: “As they contemplated in this manner, the old monks began to treat each other with extraordinary respect on the off chance that one among them might be the Messiah. And on the off, off chance that each monk himself might be the Messiah, they began to treat themselves with extraordinary respect.” This excerpt appeared in an issue of the Foundation for Community Encouragement’s newsletter, FCE Communiqué. Following the excerpt, the newsletter editorial staff pondered what this approach might look like in everyday practice:

Many of us have heard the story of The Rabbi’s Gift many times and have been moved by the idea of extraordinary respect expressed in this story. But it would be a shame to leave this vital concept as just a moving story! Here at FCE our goal is to learn and practice how to live out our lives incorporating this principle of extraordinary respect. What does extraordinary respect mean to you? How have you experienced this from others? How do you attempt to live this out in your own life?¹

These are excellent questions to ask. Yet we can easily fall into the trap of believing that we’re already maintaining right relationships if we attain some degree of success with the business. If we have an acceptable level of referrals and customers and if our employee turnover is low, we might be tempted to think we have no more work to do in relationship building. That might be the case in an average organization but not one aspiring toward alignment with big-vision priorities. To help avoid complacency, we at Ivy Sea test ourselves by asking, “If we ranked our current level of performance in this area at a two, what would a level-ten performance look like?”

A commitment to fostering right relationships includes exploring and putting into action this concept of extraordinary respect, as well as extraordinary thoughtfulness directed at all who come into contact with your business. Extraordinary respect might mean that you don’t see your customers simply as walking dollar signs. It might mean viewing employees as human beings instead of “human capital.” And both of these perspectives are more likely to be integrated into the practices of a smaller enterprise that is independent from the pressures to maximize returns to major investors.

Extraordinary thoughtfulness, a form of respect in action, might mean that we put ourselves in our customers’ shoes, so to speak, so that we know for sure that our interaction leaves them feeling better, not worse, and respected, not degraded. After dealing with representatives from our business, they should go home to their families feeling full and kind, not deflated and angry. Right relationship is an admirable and inspiring concept but not an easy one to implement regularly. Such a level of attentiveness requires our presence, our daily effort, and our careful attention.

“Extraordinary respect might mean that we don’t see our customers simply as walking dollar signs. It might mean viewing employees as human beings instead of “human capital.”

One challenge in aspiring toward right relationships is the ability to keep one foot firmly planted in reality; we are, after all, talking about running a business. While such a commitment seems easy from a superficial perspective, particularly given the abundance of customer-service programs and related jargon, it can be frustratingly difficult to find the balance between generosity of spirit and the place where you tolerate disrespectful treatment from others or situations that jeopardize the health of the business. For a big-vision small-business owner, this might manifest in such a strong desire to create a good work environment and happy employees that there isn’t enough focus placed on individual responsibility to the organization and its clients. Another symptom of imbalance might be keeping wrong-fit employees on staff too long or tolerating an unhealthy or disrespectful client relationship well past the point where it might have been set back on track or ended.

Creating right relationships involves walking a delicate line between offering generous advantages to and ensuring a minimum standard of respectful behavior from others. And since smaller enterprises are more often associated with a higher degree of experimentation and personal connection, they offer greater latitude—if the owner is game—for being incubators of sorts for different right-relationship practices. In return for a higher commitment to cultivating truly deep relationships, respectful interactions, and positive connections, the big-vision small business can distinguish itself in leaps and bounds from competitors and provide more meaningful, growth-rich opportunities to employees. Where can you start to evaluate your own potential for development in this area? The next chapter introduces seven golden rules for right relationship for your own reflection, dialogue, and skill building.