The day before her 11th birthday, Lynn and her younger sister were taken from their home and placed into foster care. It shouldn’t really have been a surprise, Lynn had endured endless amounts of physical and emotional abuse, and social services was finally stepping in to help.
For a short time, the two girls lived in various facilities together, while counselors attempted to repair their broken home. While away from the family their mother would visit, but instead of showering love on both of her children, she only paid attention to the younger daughter, choosing to blame Lynn for all that was happening. Eventually, the younger sister was taken back into the family home, while Lynn remained isolated and alone, ultimately losing touch with her family and anything she had ever known.
Bouncing from one foster home to another, Lynn struggled to keep it together. She never knew where she would be from one week to the next. As time in foster care went from days into months, and months into years, her life continued to spiral out of control and she was forced to drop out of high school due to missing too many days of class.
In spite of these struggles, Lynn, now 18 years old, wanted to make something of herself; she wanted to become a nurse. But this wasn’t a new goal, rather a lifelong aspiration she had dreamed about since childhood. Unfortunately, not having a high school diploma and lacking money to pay for college, Lynn was naïve to the many barriers that lay in front of her.
After assessing her options, of which there were few, she decided that joining the United States Air Force would give her the best opportunity to reach her goal. Good pay, quality living arrangements, and money for college would finally provide her the break she needed. Unfortunately, the young woman, wide-eyed and full of ambition, learned that without a high school diploma, she couldn’t enlist. Her dream would seemingly go unfulfilled.
Now with a steady job working at a local shop, many close to Lynn compassionately soothed her knowing she would be devastated. While everyone always rooted for the girl with the bubbly personality and heart of gold, very few believed she could actually achieve her dream. She was merely a young woman who faced too many obstacles to overcome.
But that was far from how Lynn saw it. Instead of burying her head in her hands and crying herself to sleep, she devoted all of her energy into earning her diploma. But between work, school, and jumping from apartment to apartment, it took longer than expected. However, after two-and-a-half years of tirelessly waking up early for work and staying up late to attend class, Lynn’s exhaustive efforts finally paid off. She earned her GED, and a month later joined the Air Force.
If only that were the end.
While the Air Force provided a steady income, great benefits, and a stable environment for Lynn to live, she was still far from achieving her goal. Now 21, Lynn served as a Medical Technician in the military by day, and was enrolled in college classes at night. Immersed in the medical field, Lynn loved what she was doing, further validating her quest to become a nurse. Unfortunately, due to long hours on the job, military training, and deployments, getting her degree was painfully slow. She was only able to check off one class per semester, and after eight years of service, had still not earned her nursing degree.
The journey had been long and hard, and Lynn was once again at a crossroads. Her military commitment was about to end, and though she knew she could continue serving, if she did, it would delay the opportunity for her to reach her ultimate objective.
So, after numerous years of undocumented abuse, seven years of moving around in foster care, two-and-a-half years working on her GED, and eight years in the Air Force honorably serving her country, the relentless woman, so full of energy and life, left the military and enrolled in a full-time nursing program at an esteemed university. Consumed with an unrelenting desire to achieve, Lynn is now less than 12 months from becoming a Registered Nurse (RN); her lifelong goal on the cusp of being realized.
From Tragedy to Triumph
In one’s life, devastating situations may seem too difficult to overcome. In Lynn’s case, no one would have faulted her for giving up and accepting that there were just too many obstacles for her to push through. Lynn could have very easily quit. To her credit, she didn’t. Instead, the young woman passionately went after her goal and rejected the notion that she wouldn’t become a nurse.
Everyone facing difficult challenges has that same quandary. It is very easy, and in many cases, completely justified to accept a tragedy for what it is and not attempt to overcome it. However, for those interested in pursuing the road less traveled, the opportunity to find success is still present, and quite often, starts with engagement. By building on your long-term goals, surrounding yourself with people who bring out the best in you, bringing others with you, and finding others like you, the opportunity to continue pursuing your dream is within your grasp.
Build on Your Long-Term Goals
Staying focused on your goals after adversity hits is difficult, as a shift in focus and reallocation of time and energy is typically necessary. However, while primary concern must change for the interim, this does not always necessitate a complete abandonment of long-term objectives; it merely requires an adjustment of short-term plans. Engagement, though dormant, can remain intact.
As such, when in the midst of adversity, developing short-term goals that enable you to push toward your ultimate objective provides the opportunity to see past the adversity you are facing so that you can remain focused on the bigger picture. This creates the opportunity to navigate through the interim struggles while simultaneously following your passion.
Lynn was able to do this every time she faced adversity. Specifically, though she had to make a variety of changes on the way toward her lifelong dream, the ability to connect her daily activities with her passion to become a nurse provided her the strength to go on.
To Lynn, earning her GED wasn’t just a formality that had to be done, rather an opportunity to learn; joining the Air Force didn’t restrict her from reaching her dreams, instead enabled her to develop valuable medical skills; and going to college at night wasn’t a burden, so much as it was an opportunity to prepare herself for late shifts when she became an RN. By being able to tie in the activities she was involved with her long-term goal, Lynn was able to remain engaged while battling through adversity.
Surround Yourself with People Who Bring Out the Best in You
Some people seem to suck the life right out of you, pointing out every deficiency, challenge, and potential issue that could stop you from becoming successful. Whether your tragic situation involves overcoming the loss of a loved one, battling through financial hardships, or being laid off at work, these individuals steal your energy and leave you depleted. They highlight every problem and focus on how difficult the adversity you are facing will be to overcome. While not always on purpose, their actions are destructive.
Conversely, others energize you the moment you see them. Their mere presence in the room inspires you to dig a little deeper, push a little harder, and find a way to succeed. Instead of focusing on your problems or seeing your dreams as implausible aspirations, they work to support your goals while providing guidance and direction to help you analyze situations and identify ways to improve. They bring out the best in you every time you are together. When it is expressed like this, it is fairly obvious who you should engage.
Unfortunately, too many times people fall into a routine of engaging those who bring them down rather than lift them up. This destructive, yet common practice restricts the ability to overcome the primary obstacles that are causing the adversity. Instead, you must continually deal with the external contention that people around you are creating. While constructive feedback is helpful and challenging the validity of obtuse dreams is beneficial, surrounding yourself with people who bring you down will leave you uninspired and lacking interest to achieve your goals.
Alternatively, by surrounding yourself with individuals who bring out the best in you, your passion, strength, and overall desire to reach your goals increases. The bolt of energy that resonates throughout your body inspires you to do whatever is necessary to overcome the challenges you are battling. By identifying the people who bring out the best in you and purposefully connecting with them, your motivation to overcome the adversity you are facing remains intact. These individuals pour positive energy into you while lifting your spirits with their contagious attitude. They encourage you to continue pushing.
Bring Others with You
Similar to surrounding yourself with people who bring out the best in you, bringing others on your journey is also important. Overcoming a tragic situation is difficult, and attempting to do it on your own is exponentially more challenging.
Whether you are digging out of a longstanding hardship or recovering from a sudden devastating tragedy, there will inevitably be road blocks along the way that discourage you. Thus, the importance of having people in your life that can support you during tough stretches is paramount. While it is not necessarily wise to share your personal challenges with everyone you meet, having a core group you can depend on when your burdens become too much will ensure you maintain engagement and are encouraged throughout.
Further, people love getting behind someone who has been able to endure challenges and find strength to push forward. The ability to fight against the heaviness you have encountered and not let obstacles define you is inspiring. By sharing your story with those closest to you, the ability to use their strength to support you when you are struggling is present. They will lift you up, push you forward, and fight in the battle you are engaged.
However, be careful to maintain a positive spirit and zest for success while sharing your story, rather than lead into discussions about how life is unfair and you need to catch a break. Lynn was unknowingly brilliant at this approach. The young woman, broken from the very beginning of her life, didn’t share sob stories about how tough growing up in foster care was or her lack of knowing where her family resided. Instead, she discussed how much she adored children and her desire to provide care for the ones who didn’t have families. She opened up about how her vision of success was one in which she could nurture sick kids back to health and how she would care for the children who didn’t have anyone, because she knew what that was like.
This positively deviant and dynamic approach made it exceptionally easy to love Lynn and support her throughout her journey. Not surprisingly, while obstacles continued to get in her way, the countless number of people actively engaged in her fight made it apparent she was no longer alone in this battle, rather she had a team of warriors with a vested interest in her success. The close-knit group of supporters is now eagerly anticipating the joyous day Lynn walks across the stage to receive her degree, celebrate the achievement of a lifelong dream, and rejoice in the unbreakable spirit that has enabled her to overcome every challenge she has ever faced.
Find Others Like You
Connecting with people who are fighting similar battles provides the opportunity to band together and build engagement centered on a common goal. People could be fighting the same disease as you, have faced similar circumstances growing up, or be dealing with comparable problems at school that seem to have no remedy. Regardless of the situation, proceeding down a path with a group of dedicated combatants who are facing similar challenges is far less daunting than doing it alone. Encouragement, support, and the collective goal to overcome will push all involved in similar struggles well beyond what each person could accomplish on their own.
Further, beyond just the assorted skillsets, abilities, and strengths that a diverse group of people have, the collaborative effort to overcome challenges will push you and those in your group forward during moments of weakness. This is especially important, because regardless of how passionate and invested you are, there will inevitably be times you feel run down, without energy, or lacking the desire to continue. It is during these moments that it is critical to have a support system. By having engaged teammates battling similar challenges on your side, the opportunity to lean on others for inspiration and support during downtrodden times will provide encouragement when it is needed the most.
Similarly, while there may be times you are unable to connect with people who have been involved in comparable situations, engaging others who are dealing with adversity, though not necessarily the same hardship as you, can be beneficial as well. While we are all unique individuals with different struggles, none of us are so distinct that we have problems that fail to align with what others are facing. Thus, teaming with people who are battling some form of adversity can be beneficial.
Regardless of who it comes from, encouragement from those who are also struggling can lift spirits, as a fortified union can provide a blanket of support. When we build relationships with others who are fighting adversity, the right blend of inspiration, encouragement, and comfort can come together to ensure all parties involved are lifted up and engaged in each other’s struggle.
Bringing It All Together
The ability to regroup after a blindsided misfortune hits or when longstanding challenges come to fruition is difficult. Daunting experiences that push people past their limits often stifles the ability to get back up. However, setbacks do not need to be the end of a dream or the barrier that will stop you from reaching your goals. While obstacles can become stumbling blocks to success in business, school, communities, social groups, and life in general, rarely do adversarial situations create challenges so destructive that it brings everything to a screeching halt; there is almost always the opportunity to recover. Further, while adversity is painful, it can be a spark that pushes individuals to strive for greatness and work harder to reach goals. This is evident from past stories in which people overcome great tragedies to reach their objectives.
So, whether you find yourself in a life and death struggle, in the midst of a long drawn out challenge, or caught off guard by sudden unfortunate circumstances, the opportunity to overcome is most likely still present. The following are questions that will help to ensure you take the appropriate action while remaining engaged.
Have you lost focus on what you want to accomplish? Is the adversity you are facing distracting you from reaching your goals? Is your passion to achieve gone? Are there too many obstacles in the way to concentrate on what you want to accomplish? In dire situations, there is a tendency to lose focus or give up on dreams because they seem unachievable, when in fact, they are still within our grasp. When adversity strikes, the need to adjust plans is inevitable. However, it does not necessarily mean you need to let go of your enduring aspirations. Instead of giving up, set interim goals that will enable you to continue pursuing your long-term objective.
Are you surrounding yourself with people who bring out the best in you? When surrounded by others, are you motivated and encouraged or disinterested and beaten down? Does your circle inspire you to reach for greatness or do they have pity on your misfortune? Do people fill you with positive energy or leave you depleted? When phrased like this, it is obvious who you should engage. Unfortunately, people can surround themselves with the wrong group of individuals. When this occurs, the opportunity to successfully overcome adversity is weakened. Conversely, when connecting with people who lift you up, your ability to overcome the challenges you are facing is bolstered as your environment is conducive to transformational change. The positive energy that comes from inspiring people propels you toward your goals and away from apathy. Surround yourself with those who bring out the best in you.
Are you bringing others with you and working with people like you? Are you attempting to defeat this challenge alone or is there a core group of people who are on this journey with you? Tragedies and adversity are never easy to overcome, and trying to do it alone is even more daunting. While it is not recommended you share your story with everyone you meet, investing in a core group of people that you trust brings consistency, support, and the desire to continue pushing. There is strength in numbers, and with the right group of people who can understand your challenges, the opportunity to successfully leverage the group’s collective power increases the prospect of overcoming adversity while simultaneously keeping you engaged and accountable. Leverage the power of a core group of people and bring them on your journey.