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LEADING YOUR TEAM: CONNECT

“A tribe is a group of people connected to one another, connected to a leader, and connected to an idea. For millions of years, human beings have been part of one tribe or another. A group needs only two things to be a tribe: a shared interest and a way to communicate.”

—Seth Godin, Tribes: We Need You to Lead Us

What do you want your legacy as a leader to be?

When our team posed this question to millennial managers, we received quite a few inspiring answers.

I want to be known for:

… empowering individuals

… helping my people find their passions and have a sense of accomplishment

… shaping and developing their careers to help them move forward

… being someone who gets things done and listens to problems

… making the right decisions that were the most effective

… my hard work and fairness

… getting people to see what they couldn’t see in themselves

One millennial manager, Amanda, shared a great analogy. Amanda said she wanted to “Float like a butterfly, and sting like a bee.” Now, I don’t think Amanda wants to knock the lights out of her employees like Muhammad Ali did to his opponents, but she does want to be a graceful and powerful leader. She wants to be nimble and quick, yet stand firm for the values and expectations she believes in. The millennial managers we spoke with were optimistic and ready to make a difference.

YOUR LEADERSHIP LEGACY

You want to be an amazing manager and a leader whom people want to follow. If you look back on your career and life, you probably have had a few key managers or mentors who were excellent role models and gave you that extra push you needed. Now, you want to be that person for someone else. You want to inspire, engage, and excite. You want to create a powerful team that can break through obstacles and make a difference at your company. As a millennial manager, you have pushed to achieve and excel all your life, and this new role is no different—you have high goals and expectations for yourself.

As a first-time manager, you might get those little butterflies in your stomach—a combination of excitement and nervousness. Will your team like you? What should you say during team meetings? How can you show confidence but not arrogance? How do you set expectations? Can you still go to team happy hours? These are just a few questions racing through your head.

In the following chapters, you will learn the answers to all of these questions and many more. Being a manager is not easy. Captain of USS Benfold and author of It’s Your Ship, Mike Abrashoff says, “Leadership is the art of doing simple things really well.”¹ Have you ever tried to lose weight? The recipe for success is so easy: Just exercise more and eat fewer calories. It’s so simple! How has that worked for you? Likewise, leading a team involves easy steps, but when it comes down to implementing them, it can get tricky.

TAKING IT UP A NOTCH

Most individuals are promoted because they are high performers and excellent individual contributors. Often, the skill set that makes you a high-achieving individual contributor is very different from those that make you a great manager of people. Many new managers assume that if they apply the same skills and ideas that always helped them excel, they undoubtedly will do well as a manager. However, going from individual contributor to manager is a significant change and requires a fundamental shift in your mindset. In the past, maybe you gained job satisfaction from putting together winning proposals or being the go-to person for your boss. Nothing made you happier than marking things off your to-do list! Now, you may have to look for new sources of satisfaction—guiding an employee toward writing his first winning proposal or eliminating obstacles so your star employee can crank through her to-do list. This is actually a profound difference, and I have a story to help explain.

I recently was coaching a millennial manager named Colin at a manufacturing company. Colin is a real superstar who became a manager in his early 20s and is now a vice president—the only millennial to achieve that rank at his company. He was not feeling fulfilled at work, and we talked about why. He managed a division of thirty employees and he loved his team, but the issue was from above. Colin now reported to a very senior executive. His director worked on a different floor, had eight other vice presidents to manage, as well as clients to work with, and was responsible for executive board duties. In short, Colins boss was busy and didn’t have much time for Colin. He expected Colin to do his job, leave him alone, and continue to succeed. He talked to me about how he needed to “fill his tank” to achieve satisfaction at work. Traditionally, Colins “tank” was filled with praise, recognition, and feedback from above—all traits consistent with your generation. Now that he was off on his own, with a distracted boss and in a position with no room for quick promotions, Colin was struggling.

He and I talked about how instead of looking up to gain job satisfaction, he would have to look down to earn a sense of accomplishment. In other words, he now would derive satisfaction from the growth of his team, from the successes its members achieved, and from seeing them enter the ranks of management. For the past thirty years of his life, Colin had been driven, inspired, and fulfilled from above, but now as a millennial manager, this would have to come from his team below. It’s a pretty big shift.

Think about it. For many years, you excelled at managing yourself—a known quantity—and now you have to manage a team of others—unknown territory. I’m not here to say it will be easy; it will take time and energy. It will be hard work, but it will be worth it. Vince Lombardi, the legendary coach of the Green Bay Packers, said it best, “Leaders aren’t born, they are made. And they are made just like anything else, through hard work. And that’s the price we’ll have to pay to achieve that goal, or any goal.” Many good things in life come from hard work, and being a millennial manager is no different.

The big downfall in this whole process and transition from individual contributor to manager is that companies often reward individuals with a promotion and management role, and they say, “Congratulations Milo, you’ve been doing a great job, so we’re promoting you to manager. You are now in charge of a team of four folks. Go gettum tiger!” with little to no direction or training. Does this sound familiar? Millennials are left repeating to themselves, “Don’t freak out. Don’t freak out. I can do this. I can figure it out. Don’t freak out.”

In the following chapters, you will learn everything you need to know to excel as a millennial manager. You already have a firm foundation for understanding how to work successfully across generations. Now, you will jump into the nitty-gritty of managing and running a team. From setting goals and expectations to giving feedback and showing recognition, you will learn it all.

CONNECT: YOU, YOUR PEOPLE, AND THE BIG PICTURE

To guide us through this beast of a topic, the advice has been grouped under seven key themes. One of the defining features of your generation is that you are all about connection—connecting to people, results, and the world. In our interactions with millennials, the word “connect” and the idea of connecting came up time and time again. Here is a snapshot of the words and phrases we heard from millennial managers:

I let them know how their task is connected.

Even if you’re not in the office, you’re still connected.

We work together to solve problems.

I want to connect to the big picture.

Everyone should be connected to our company and our products.

I connect with my team and understand them.

There seems to be a disconnect with senior leaders on flexibility

I love connecting with people, brands, and companies.

Through technology, we’re always connected.

We feel connected to work.

I want them to feel connected to the success.

With my phone, I’m always connected.

Whether it’s being connected through technology, relationships, or purpose, it is apparent that this idea of connection is integral to millennial managers. You tend to see the world as a network or spider web, where people, companies, and information all connect, support each other, and make each other stronger. Collaboration—one of your generation’s strongest values—is based on and propelled by connecting. You’re optimistic, and you want to change the world. Maybe it’s just a small slice—making the difference as a manager—but you can see how that connects to the larger picture of making a difference in the world.

Your generation has the power to change the face of leadership, but there are some tips and skills that can give you the leg up and round you out as a knowledgeable, collaborative, and connected leader. In the following chapters, you will gain insights on connecting with your teams and direct reports, so you can be an inspirational leader. As a millennial manager, you want to make sure you CONNECT—Communicate, Own it, Navigate, Negotiate, Engage, Collaborate, and Teach.

Before you jump into these seven themes, let’s talk a little more about this overarching idea of connecting. The first thing you want to do as a manager is connect with who you are as a leader. Now, I know that sounds like a boring, if not nebulous, start, but too many people hop into a management role plowing full-force ahead, and they never take a step back to think.

This is actually a criticism that I hear a lot from more experienced professionals. Some senior leaders say millennial managers have a propensity to jump in with a ton of energy and just start running ahead—without orienting themselves or clarifying where they’re running or why. Have you thought to yourself, What do I stand for? What are my principles and boundaries? Do I have mottos that drive me? What is my mission and goal?

It’s a good idea to pose these questions to yourself before plowing ahead. Think of a few great leaders throughout history who have inspired you. A few that come to mind are Martin Luther King, Jr., Gandhi, Amelia Earhart, Walt Disney, and Eleanor Roosevelt. They absolutely knew what they stood for. They had crystal-clear principles, and they had ideas and visions for a bright future that drove them and their people. You could probably rattle off a few strong adjectives right away that exemplify these great leaders. Inspiring. Insightful. Daring. Creative. Visionary. Empathetic. Of course, these examples and people are extraordinary. These individuals give us a high aspiration to follow. As a millennial manager, you can model the way of these great leaders by taking time to think through what you stand for and how you will lead moving forward.

CHALANT: PINPOINTING YOUR PRINCIPLES

To paint a picture of how this works on a team level, I will share JB Training Solutions’ key principle or motto: CHALANT. What does chalant mean? It all starts with a story.

It was a beautiful, sunny day, and I was driving in Chicago, my hometown. I happen to be a pretty impatient driver, and you can imagine that I often get frustrated with Chicago’s traffic. This one day, I was at a stop light, as impatient as ever and undoubtedly late for something. I sat there waiting as best I could for the light to change, with my hand restlessly tapping on the steering wheel. In Chicago, we now have these crosswalk signals that count down how long you have to cross the street. So I was looking across the intersection to see how long I was going to wait for the cars and pedestrians to cross in front of me. 6, 5, 4, 3 … I’m starting to get excited because soon I can go. At the moment the counter hit 1 and the light turned yellow, a pedestrian entered the cross walk in front of me and began to cross the street. Now I will admit, as a pedestrian, from time to time, I have done the same. But, if I do, I sprint across the intersection as fast as I can. It’s not acceptable to make the cars wait. However, this particular pedestrian on that day was different. He didn’t sprint. He sauntered—as slowly as he could, with no care in the world. Of course the light changed for me to go, but our friend was in the intersection. As my blood was boiling, I thought for a second I could teach him a good lesson and hit the accelerator. Then I thought a bit more rationally and realized that would not be a good call. Instead I sat there and seethed at this man’s lackadaisical attitude and apparent disregard for all others. I thought, “How could he be so nonchalant?” And then it hit me. This is exactly the opposite of how we work at JB Training Solutions! We do things with purpose, direction, passion, and energy. So, if we are the opposite of nonchalant, what does that make us?—CHALANT. Obviously. If clients ask for something by Wednesday, we get it to them on Tuesday. We underpromise and overdeliver. We go above and beyond for each other and our clients. And we race across intersections if the light is about to turn green. We are chalant.

That’s one example of a motto and value that drives our team. We have chatted with managers who have a “Happy Monday!” motto. They want to create such a rewarding, engaging, and fun place to work that employees just can’t wait to return to the office on Monday.

Courtney’s motto is to “Just crank…but keep fun in the tank.” Courtney and her team have a bias toward action. They think through decisions and ideas, but their hallmark is their followthrough and results. They crank through their work, their to-do’s, and their projects. But for a hard-driving atmosphere, Courtney tries to make sure everyone is enjoying themselves and keeping fun in the tank. If everyone is busting their tails and she looks around and morale is lagging on the team, she takes a group lunch, goes for an outing to Dairy Queen, or calls a board game break to rebuild morale. One, she wants her people to be happy and engaged, and two, she knows having fun is important to her millennial team. Courtney even schedules an action item on her to-do list every two weeks that simple says “What have you done to re-recruit your employees?” This simple reminder gets Courtney out of her “crank zone” and allows her to reflect on the morale and engagement of her team. One hundred percent crank isn’t going to be sustainable, and her motto of “Just crank … but keep fun in the tank” keeps her balanced.

Now, take a few minutes to reflect on your ideals and principles. Think through words, phrases, or icons that can inspire you or keep you motivated and focused as your management responsibilities come into full swing. Maybe it’s family, friends, hobbies, songs, quotes, places, or experiences. Have fun with this. You may feel like you have a strong grasp of who you are as a leader, but writing it down on paper or typing it out gives it a type of permanence and promise.

What drives you?

What inspires you?

What do you stand for?

How would you want your team to describe you?

What is your motto?

Doing some of this upfront work of connecting with your personal leadership values will help guide you as you face some of the tougher parts of managing. Once you understand and solidify your management ideals, you can focus on connecting to your organization and your people. As a leader, it’s about staying connected with all of these entities—remaining true to yourself while staying in tune with your team and organization. Leaders who lose their influence or momentum are leaders who lose that connection with their people. To keep your team engaged and high performing, make sure you CONNECT—Communicate, Own It, Navigate, Negotiate, Engage, Collaborate, and Teach.