The Pursuit of Happiness

Incredibly, America is founded in an understanding that humans have the right to pursue happiness. Now, I admit that the word “happiness” has suffered erosion from the way the framers used it. Still, after 15 years of research and working with thousands of people, I haven't found a better word (because many readers will be more familiar with “well-being,” we use it and “happiness” interchangeably throughout this book).

Let's drill down into the strata beneath happiness.

The 90-Minute Rule

In my work, I often overwork my brain. And I usually just try to push through it. That is a mistake. Dr. Sood says our brains fatigue after 90 minutes of focused work. We cannot feel brain pain because the brain has no nerve endings. But overworking our brain is like stressing a muscle.

Leo Widrich, cofounder and COO at Buffer, examined the origins of the eight-hour working day. Not surprisingly, he discovered it was created in, by, and for the Industrial Revolution. After exposing the total irrelevance of an industrial revolution idea for today's working world, he wrote, “One of the things most of us easily forget is that as humans, we are distinctly different from machines. At the core, this means that machines move linearly and humans move cyclically” (italics mine).

For an efficient work day, that truly respects our human nature, the first thing to focus on are ultradian cycles.

Our human minds can focus on any given task for 90–120 minutes. Afterwards, a 20–30 minute break is required for us to get the renewal to achieve high performance for our next task again.…So instead of thinking about “What can I get done in an 8-hour day,” I've started to change my thinking to “What can I get done in a 90-min session.”¹

I understand the origins of our working day patterns. But, why do we remain enslaved to an eighteenth-century model? Today is a time (in Tony Swartz's words) “to manage your energy, not your time.” Yet the typical work patterns in the twenty-first century pull us right into brain-jarring work after a stressful commute. We start our day buried under an avalanche of company e-mails. And we often face a series of meetings, with little or no time to prepare. As a result, too many meetings wander and don't add value or make decisions. It seems that we walk in the door of our workplace, and then straight into a shredder. We have no time to focus.²

So, is it possible to achieve happiness at work? Or is “the job” unavoidably and forever taxing, harsh, unhealthy, and dreaded? Shouldn't places of productivity consistently release those who work there to be the best version of themselves? Look at our cultural views of the workplace. The offices, factories, and other work environments presented in novels, movies, and TV shows always seem to revolve around negative views of managers, coworkers, and “company policy.” Plots frequently include workplace hostility, injustice, sexual harassment, and psychological warfare. Do we simply not know how to create happy, engaging, collaborative, and productive societies around work? As New York Mets manager Casey Stengel once supposedly asked, “Can't anybody here play this game?”

An Engaged Mind Is a Happy Mind

In our work on this book, our team concluded that the workplace can and must become a happy place; a true haven. But that comes only by design. The money and time companies spend promoting wellness initiatives are wasted unless we first learn how to create a happy workplace.

For example, do you know it is not only possible but essential to remove friction from our workplaces? By friction, I mean the frustration and lost productivity that result from the failure of things to work. Things as simple as having enough outlets and easy plug-and-play electrical and digital connections are crucial to creating a frictionless work environment. Time spent crawling around under conference tables looking for electrical outlets, or waiting for someone from IT to fix the damned LED projector, is friction. To remove it, some companies have created living labs to test different work configurations, furniture solutions, and technology to resolve the friction points on the front end. That seems like a small price to pay to drive common friction from daily operations.

A frictionless atmosphere enhances focus and engagement. That's because the ability to focus and accomplish good work is key to experiencing happiness. I participated in a Harvard study a few years ago using an app called Track Your Happiness. The findings were the same. A wandering mind is an unhappy mind.³ An engaged mind is happy. Think of the times and activities that took you beyond any awareness of time and space. That happened because you were so absorbed in creating, conversing, building, reading a book, walking alone through nature, spending a day in a museum, driving through the country, or completely lost in a work project. Those experiences and others like them release the happy hormones that restore health.

Leaders know engagement is the holy grail of business. If that is true, wouldn't it follow that companies would do anything possible to create an environment and a culture of happiness so that people could find the natural engagement that is so vital?

So, why does happiness in the workplace still trail the emphasis on physical health by a large margin? How did we get these backward? Why has it taken almost 50 years of failed wellness (health) efforts to begin to look at well-being (happiness)? Even companies most recognized for their wellness initiatives are just beginning to explore the well-being side of the equation in limited ways. Teaching meditation, mindfulness, and stress management just scratch the surface. We need a larger definition of wellness and a deeper exploration of how companies might do more to create it.

The new attention to well-being or happiness provides a new opportunity to rehumanize wellness efforts and reframe our thinking. But that has not, and will not, come by applying program thinking. The current system lets the tail wag the dog by focusing on programs, steps, and participation without asking, “What is the point of this?” Most businesses and leaders have a long way to go to decouple from the traditional wellness systems and mindset.

What Makes Us Happy at Work?

I have worked with Dr. Mike O'Neill, a cognitive psychologist, for more than two years on this project. Dr. Mike, as he is called, has focused his career on the study of human performance and happiness in the workplace. His work combines cognitive psychology (how people think, learn, decide, and remember), positive psychology (human flourishing), organizational design, ergonomics, and workplace strategy.

After my 15 years as a performance coach, helping thousands of people to “find their sweet spot,” he changed my practice by subordinating engagement to happiness.

Dr. Mike says, “The problem with engagement is that it has become primarily an instrument for achieving improved productivity. Employers are willing to spend money on engagement surveys to uncover where they can improve. These have proven strong predictors of retention rates, and it helps manage the risk of losing employees. All of this, however, accrues to the benefit of the employer. Our research indicates that focusing on the broader notion of happiness, a sense of well-being, naturally results in engagement.

“How do you operationalize the word happiness? We found four traits we could test and measure: (1) a sense of well-being, (2) happiness at work, (3) lower stress levels, and (4) feeling relaxed. Furthermore, in one of our tests, 4,000 office workers experienced real effects from two aspects of work across all four traits. First is the ability to focus. The second measurable aspect is the degree the workspace communicates that you are valued.

“Workspace that is easy to understand, navigate, and use sends a definite message, ‘We value and want to support your role in our organization.’ Giving people a choice of where to work, control over how they accomplish work, the right tools, and, surprisingly, the right storage and retrieval systems, all register as affecting workplace happiness. One critical but often overlooked happiness factor is job design. Poor job design is a major source of stress and disengagement. It all seems to come down to two factors; cognitive load and autonomy.

“A job with high cognitive load with high autonomy produces positive stress. That's right, stress can be good, in fact, stress is necessary in order to filter out the world for focus. Senior architects fit this category. On the opposite end are jobs with high cognitive load but low autonomy. They produce the most stress. Think of a call center. You hear a beep, and you're on! You don't know if you're dealing with a happy or angry caller until you hear their voice.”

PERMA—Five Keys to Human Flourishing

Dr. Martin Seligman is known as the father of positive psychology. The former president of the American Psychological Association, Dr. Seligman is director of the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania. He built on Dr. Donald Clifton's work beginning in the 1950s known as strengths-based psychology. In other words, building on what is strong instead of fixing what is wrong. In his search for what makes people happy, he coined the acronym PERMA: positive emotion, engagement, relationships, meaning, and accomplishment. Dr. Seligman identifies those dimensions as the keys to human flourishing.

One of Dr. Seligman's research projects examined 1.1 million soldiers to explore psychological fitness and resilience. Brig. Gen. Rhonda Cornum, PhD, MD, the director of the Comprehensive Soldier Fitness program, said of Seligman's project, “We don't assume people can shoot when they come into the Army, so we teach them how to load weapons and how to aim… . We need to attend to psychological fitness the same way we do physical performance.”⁴

Part of the study examined soldiers who struggled with PTSD and those who eventually became stronger. Two factors separated the groups. Soldiers who became stronger worked at it. It was not by accident. Their lives also exhibited the five elements of PERMA: (1) a sense of living for something bigger than themselves, (2) work and activities they naturally enjoyed, (3) relational connection and interdependency, (4) their lives and work made a tangible difference to others, and (5) consistent achievement.

Shouldn't that also apply to the workplace? What if you turn PERMA into personal questions to be used as a framework for workplace strategy and design?

• How do the workflow, workspace, and leadership communicate a sense of purpose to me and others?
• Does the workspace offer me a choice to work in ways that leverage my strengths?
• How does the workspace facilitate a sense of psychological safety, connection, and access to vital workplace relationships?
• Does the workspace help me know how my work makes a difference, that I and my work have meaning?
• Does the workspace give me a sense of accomplishment?

Hope and Engagement

Sometimes hope is the first casualty in the push to achieve business goals. Leaders assume that everyone carries the compelling vision of the objective, that everyone is sufficiently healthy and zealous for the mission, and that everyone will rush the beach like soldiers in a war movie. But some people are damaged, broken, discouraged, and just barely hanging on. Those people are not engaged with anything or anyone. They cannot rise to the mission; they just want to get through the day and return home to bed, chemicals, or silence. They have no hope; it died long before they ever hit the beach.

I am usually hired because of unhappiness. I've never been told, “Everybody's happy and productive; could you come in and make us a little happier?” I know the unhappy “Let me hide” employees and I know the “I'm unhappy and I'll make sure you are too” employees. I've coined an acronym for the second group, CAVE dwellers: consistently against virtually everything. According to Gallup 20% of your employees are CAVE dwellers, toxic. They cost companies 34% of their salaries.⁵

Early in my work on engagement, in fact, my very first workshop, I met Bob. To this day, he remains my largest image of a toxic employee. His body language told everyone that he'd rather be anywhere on earth than in that room. Bob didn't speak, look up, laugh, or go out for a cigarette. He just sat, with his head on his chest, and glared at the materials on the table. He didn't even look up when I stepped into his personal space.

When we broke for lunch a colleague from my firm and I invited Bob to lunch. We ordered, briefly covered the weather and sports, and then I had to ask. “Bob, what do you get to do in your job that taps into what you like to do?”

“Nothing.”

I paused and dove in again, “So, what do you get to do outside of work that you enjoy and energizes you?”

“Nothing.”

My stomach started churning. I could see Bob was hurting and I was not qualified to dig much deeper. But I did have a backup. My colleague was a top clinical psychologist and would rescue me if I fell too far into trouble.

I paused, not sure what to ask. But, I went back in, “How long has this been going on?”

“Twenty-five years.” Then he helpfully added, “I hate my job and I hate the people I work with.”

Ten minutes into a one-hour lunch, I was drained and nervous. So, I said, “Help me, Bob. Just play this out for me. What happens to your health, job, family over the next five years if nothing changes?”

He shook his head, looked at his plate, and whispered, “I don't know.”

At that point, my colleague came to the rescue, changed the subject, and we returned to the workshop.

Bob didn't speak that afternoon, but he did seem to listen.

I returned 90 days later for a second session, a two-day session to prepare the managers to introduce the material to their employees.

When I arrived, I first ran into Bob.

“Rex, great to see you. I'm looking forward to the session.”

I had no idea how to interpret that. Bob did participate and then on the morning of the second day Bob stopped the workshop and changed my career. He said he needed to say something. I gave him the floor, but thought, oh no, what is this? By the time he got to his feet, he was in tears.

“I've been an SOB to all of you and I just want to say I'm sorry. I love this job and I love all of you.” Four or five people reached for Kleenex. I was in tears. After an awkward silence, I called a break. I immediately walked over to Dave, an executive officer, and asked, “What just happened?”

Dave gave me the short version of the story. As a result of the Gallup Strengthsfinder Assessment, Bob discovered that he was naturally wired to be creative, solve problems, and get things done—but was drained by people and politics. Yet, he was responsible for young, immature employees who, for the most part, did not have college degrees and were union members. That responsibility did not tap into any of his natural strengths. It forced him to work as if he were in a foreign country and didn't know the language.

In the final day of the first workshop, I explained that people experience a virtuous reinforcing loop when they are able to apply their natural strengths to their work. It comes easier, they begin to produce better results, and they get positive recognition. On the other side, when they must operate outside their strengths, the work gets harder and more draining. Drain turns to frustration, frustration to anxiety, anxiety to anger, and anger to rage. After 25 years Bob came in every day ready to go postal.

Bob gained some real insight from that. More than that, he found hope.

That lesson early in my consulting career completely reshaped my approach to CAVE dwellers. Someone said that hope is the oxygen of the soul. Hope is also a nudge. All by itself, it tilts people into the courage, confidence, and energy to do the right thing. So, managers should do all they can to find it, impart it, rebuild it, and restore it. Hope will go a very long way to turn people toward health. Like a building, hope is another potential nudge for a greater sense of well-being.

Out on the Frontlines

Josh Glynn told me, “We know your direct manager has more effect on your work life than anything.”

That may be why Google invests so heavily in internal research on the factors that make a great manager. Josh said that he's observed that most companies have a serious disconnect in trying to create engagement or improve wellness. Success for both falls on the back of middle managers, which it should. But it also breaks down with middle managers, which is predictable. He explained that middle managers will get the blame, but it is really a leadership problem. In most cases when initiatives fail, managers are neither fully trained nor resourced to translate, model, train, and coach their employees into a new way of thinking and behaving. New initiatives are simply add-on responsibilities.

But, managers are stationed on the front lines. And for good reasons. They inspire, equip, direct, and oversee operations. They are the most immediate point of contact and traction with the workforce. Assuming a manager is trained and resourced, Gallup has identified 12 needs that employees require to find true engagement and perform at their best. The 12 requisites ascend Maslow's hierarchy from basic to aspirational needs. I've simplified them to the following:

1. Focus me.
2. Equip me.
3. Help me find my fit.
4. Recognize a contribution, weekly.
5. Care about me.
6. Help me grow.
7. Hear me.
8. Help me see the impact of what WE do.
9. Help me feel everyone will be held to equally high standards.
10. Help me to find and form vital relationships at work.
11. Assess my progress and areas for growth.
12. Challenge me.

Even a casual look over that list reveals the value and priority of happiness. That list communicates the heart's cry of people as they live out their roles and responsibilities. People have an integral need to be properly aligned with body, mind, soul, family, and other human relationships. They need personal integrity, a sense of productivity and meaning, sufficient degrees of safety, and adequate power to negotiate life. Of course, physical and mental health are important. But happiness is far more critical than physical and mental health. Furthermore, it often leads to greater health.

Social Emotional Literacy

Social emotional literacy is a language. It has become a growing field in childhood psychology, especially working with at-risk kids. It goes further than emotional intelligence. It forms the practices and habits for mental health and happiness.

We opened our Dallas summit on social emotional literacy with a presentation from Michelle Kinder, executive director of the Momentous Institute. The century-old institution started as a therapeutic outreach to at-risk communities in Dallas. Today the institute includes training and a lab school. They work directly with about 6,000 kids and family members every year. According to Michelle, many of their kids live with the toxic stresses associated with poverty and adverse childhood experiences (ACE). ACE are divided into three categories: (1) abuse, (2) neglect, and (3) household struggles such as violence, addiction, divorce, or incarceration. Without intervention, a child coming out of these conditions will likely experience a disruption in neurodevelopment. That leads to social, emotional, and cognitive impairment, and eventually to unhealthy and destructive behavior. Without intervention by those who care, these journeys do not end well. Interventions must start early, engage the family, and be led by teachers well trained in social and emotional literacy.

I carefully selected the Momentous Institute because of earlier research into education. The institute is a positive outlier. They achieve incredible outcomes with kids who come in abused, neglected, and psychologically scarred. They are an educational MASH unit. Their philosophy, methods, and tools have been designed not only through their therapeutic lens but in the day-to-day encounters with kids, families, and the communities they come from.

After more research, I discovered and alarming statistic: 50% of the kids in our nation are being left behind. Most of those will not graduate and those who do will not have the academic or life skills necessary to survive, contribute, grow, and build hope for a better tomorrow. Half of these kids will fall through the crack because of socioeconomic reasons and the other half will face a lifetime of struggle with their learning differences. These kids do grow up. But, without vital skills and social emotional maturity, that often means a fast lane to prison.

Michelle explained the vital connection between chronic and acute stress on the brain. Stress is cognitive load. When it is constant it shuts down the learning and decision-making side of the brain. In other words, many of the kids who arrive at school are in no condition to jump into learning. When the additional load of learning is added, they either withdraw or act out. She calls that, and has helped her students recognize it as, an “amygdala hijack.”

Think for your moment when you were at your wits' end. When I've encountered deadlines or other pressures, my survival gene came alive! I felt like a scuba diver sucking on a suddenly empty tank. If the garbage disposal gets clogged and my innocent wife pleads for help before dinner, my amygdala is likely to pop. If I were constantly on the razor's edge, I'd have a very difficult time trying to create a safe place or help an employee needing emotional support.

The Momentous School provides a safe, positive, and connected environment for their three-year-old to fifth-grade kids. But they also know they must work with parents and others who shape the home lives of the kids. When Michelle took me to the parent resource room, she explained, “Parents are welcome to come here anytime. In addition, the parents of our three-year-olds participate in a home visit that includes leaving behind a box of books and educational toys. The box also has a journal, so they can describe how they used the material and read what other families wrote.”

Parents also receive coaching and training so they can be equipped to improve the family and home environment. Michelle took me to the vision wall, where parents write their visions for their children's future. Some were simple, several were hopeful, and many were very specific and quite moving. Some stories just took my breath away. Throughout the tour, I found numerous subtle details, nudges, that reveal the “momentous” attention to each child and the environment. The hallway walls were painted in textures that invite kids to sweep their hands along the wall as they walked, stimulating their senses. Photographs of the brain, highlighting different areas and brain functions, are posted throughout the school. A three-year-old told me that she had a brain and it was in her head and it was very, very important. Five-year-olds knew where frustration, anger, and sorrow come from in the brain. They also knew the coping skills that calm it down.⁶

I was struck by the seamless integration of teaching and environment that extended to the home and family. The Momentous Institute recognized what too many companies miss—it takes an ecosystem to reprogram and create sustainable change. The institute has built what Jeffrey Pfeffer begs leaders to create: supportive systems, environment, and culture.

I've met with a few companies and institutions that build such thinking into their culture. Cummins is famous for their policy on “invisible diversity.” Google hires many with Asperger's and others along the autism spectrum. They train managers to create a psychologically safe environment. Parkland Hospital and Kaiser Permanente provide opportunities for those on the lower economic rungs to be trained and mentored in life skills.

Dr. Ron Anderson, former CEO of Dallas's Parkland Hospital, told me about a woman who ran the laundry service, a difficult job. Many times she was offered a promotion. And she turned each one down because she saw the laundry room as her calling, a place where she could do the most good. Because it was one of the lowest entry positions in the hospital, she found it to be an ideal place for recruiting people who needed a chance in life. She worked with and developed them until they could get a promotion and foothold on the upward ladder—an incredible and improbable dream for most of them. It was a moving story, but more so because I heard it from the man who planted and cultivated that garden of care for Parkland Hospital. It is one thing to recognize talent or give a person a break in life; that what good leaders do. Extraordinary leaders, however, have learned to place others at the center, see a person's greater calling, and give that calling a garden in which to grow.

I was honestly not sure how a group of business leaders would react to our summit on social and emotional literacy. I knew it would take us outside our comfort zones. Most, however, were deeply moved. We responded to the innocence of kids, their inherent worth, and the skills to nurture the wounded and hurting. But that built a bridge to recognize, as Bob Chapman reminds us, that “Each of us is someone's precious child.” That lens is an incredible reframe, a powerful nudge when you can look beyond the value that someone brings to the table and see their intrinsic worth. Michelle and her kids reminded all of us that happiness is the bedrock below the human capacity for working productively and living as healthy and contributing members of society.