Section 1: Gaps in Everyday Interactions

Why do people speak so unclearly when they’re providing important information? Take phone messages, for example. People sometimes say their names so inaudibly that I can’t tell where the first name ends and the last name begins. I once received a message from a fellow whose first and last names together seemed to be a single syllable, and whose phone number sounded like it had only five digits. He probably considered me rude for not returning his call.

Names and numbers aren’t the only cryptic parts of phone messages. Sometimes the message itself is befuddling, such as the one I received from a project manager who asked for my help and said I was the only person who understood her something-or-other. I was flattered to be the one who understood, but despite replaying the message a dozen times, I couldn’t decipher her words. If you’ve never heard your own phone messages, tape yourself and have a listen. You might be surprised at how you sound.

Sometimes, muffled messages can be life-threatening. I once took a flight on a plane so tiny that even I, short though I am, risked banging my head on the ceiling. As the plane took off, an announcement came over the loudspeaker. I knew it couldn’t be about dining options, beverage choices, or in-flight movies, but what the message was about I couldn’t tell because not a word of it was audible over the roar of the plane.

When the 25-minute flight ended and the plane had landed, I waited on board until the eight other passengers had departed. Then, I asked the pilot what the announcement had covered. He replied that it was the safety announcement!

Muffled messages are common on large planes as well, where flight attendants seem unaware that passengers sometimes can’t hear what they’re saying. When the announcement ends, people turn to their seatmates and ask, “What’d she say?” On one flight I took a few years ago, the pilot made an announcement so softly that he was able to keep it a secret.

These situations illustrate a common trait of communication gaps: a disparity between the message sent and the message received. Most such gaps are merely minor cracks, barely noticeable and of no particular consequence. But some are major chasms, rendering communication impossible.

Why do these gaps occur in the first place, and why are they so common? The chapters of Section 1 tell why, describing several kinds of everyday interactions that lead to miscommunication between sender and recipient:

• Chapter 2 addresses miscommunications that the sender of a message creates.

• Chapter 3 focuses on ambiguities to which both senders and recipients fall victim.

• Chapter 4 explains why recipients of a message sometimes respond in a way that’s altogether different from what the sender intended.

Although all three chapters offer ideas on how to avoid, or at least minimize, such gaps, a good place to start being a Gapologist is by noticing phone messages in which you have difficulty deciphering the caller’s message. Let these situations alert you to question whether you, too, could be a message muffler. Otherwise, ghp*a)rts st’aa3vz gnt#takv+. Okay?