PART II
HOW TO USE YOUR PROCESS
SKILLS TO PREVENT AND
SOLVE COMMUNICATION
PROBLEMS

Part I of this book reinforces the importance of creating and sustaining energized relationships. Relationships are essential to preventing and solving communication problems. They induce a mutual exchange of help, information, courtesy, and cooperation.

Part II introduces workflow structure, which is equally important in preventing and solving communication problems. Part II covers workflow process and project management as communication tools. A structured process creates common understanding of vocabulary and the steps to accomplish a task. This part contains chapters on using process steps to stop the habit of judging people, solve common people problems, and use questioning techniques as part of problem-solving.

Process and Relationships Are Partners

So how does Part I on relationships dovetail with Part II on using process steps to prevent and solve people problems?

Work relationships (emotion, trust, intuition) and process (facts, steps, logic) partner to amplify effective communication. At first blush they may seem diametrically opposed concepts. But they are inextricably linked if you want your communication skills to top the charts. You must pair relationship and process to be the ultimate communicator.

Sometimes a nonbusiness analogy helps clarify the point. Everyone can relate to math and theater. Let’s look at how one author paired fact (mathematics) with emotion (theater).

Danielle Carroll united these two in her master’s thesis, “Performances of Truth in Theatre and Mathematics” (Tisch NYU, 2007). Carroll writes:

With math set up as purveyor of fact and empirical truth and theatre positioned oppositionally in the realm of fiction and emotion, the decidedly irrational, these two systems occupy very different spheres in academic discourse. However, by placing theatrical performance and mathematics in dialog with one another, I find that the two are more similar than I had previously thought.

Putting relationships and process “in dialog with one another” lifts communication to a more enlightened level. Pairing these two broadens and deepens our experience both with the person and with the process. People who separate relationship from the work process often have distant, stilted work conversations. An employee working with a manager who does not blend relationship and process might be uncomfortable asking questions or admitting he is unclear about an assignment. This can lead to work performance or people problems later on. But integrating relationship and process can prevent and solve problems more quickly and satisfactorily for both parties and lead to collaborative goal attainment.

Carroll also asserts:

Even parts of mathematics, a discipline known for its systematic nature, must be intuited. Once, in a sophomore-level math class, I approached a professor about how to create a system that could tackle all of the problems that we were doing. He responded, “there is no system. You just have to feel it out.” I recall feeling abandoned; after all, I had begun my study of mathematics for its structure and certainty. Since then, however, I have learned to enjoy letting go, occasionally finding the answers to problems by accident or I suppose acknowledging that they find me. In order to discover truth, one must carve out a space in structure and system for intuition.

So it is with process and relationships. You have to “feel them out.” We may want certainty, but that does not exist with either relationship or process. Both grow and change shape. One informs the other.

The Role of Intuition

Processes support the search for better relationships, and relationships support the quest for better processes. Effective managers focus on both, letting one give information about the other. Intuition springs from this information.

Confident managers trust their intuition. They listen and clarify the other person’s meaning, and also intuit the person as both a professional and a human being. They use intuition to frame their speech on the listener’s level of expertise and interest. They also use intuition to knit together relationships and structure to make it easier for direct reports to do their best work.