SKILL NINE: SUMMARIZING
Summarizing is a method of tying together several ideas and feelings at the end of a period of discussion or the arrangement conference.
2. IDENTIFY PURPOSES FOR USING THE SKILL
a. To increase understanding for both you, the funeral director, and the person.
b. To provide you and the person with a sense of having made progress.
c. To provide an opportunity for additional clarification whenever necessary.
3. ENHANCE UNDERSTANDING OF SUMMARIZING
Effective use of the skill of summarizing will prove to be a real asset to the funeral director. Summarizing helps the person realize that you have really focused in on what has been said. It is an excellent way to check on the accuracy of what has been decided and feelings that have been shared. In addition, summarizing is a natural way to make transitions from one content area to another, or, to simply conclude an interaction.
During stressful times people usually want a clear understanding of their situation and what decisions they have made. Refining your use of the skill of summarizing will help you better accomplish this sense of increased understanding and awareness. As you probably realize, when someone else summarizes decisions you have made or concerns you have, it often gives you an increased understanding of the situation.
During an arrangement conference, many ideas, thoughts, and feelings are shared. Experience suggests that to summarize effectively, you must be very attentive to the family. Being able to hear, understand, and remember important thoughts and feelings over extended time will allow you to restate in summary their most important concerns and reinforce decisions they have made.
Summarizing is particularly important because what occurs at the end of an interaction often determines a person’s impression of you. Summarizing should be done at a pace that allows people to correct any misperceptions along the way. Some funeral directors may choose to write major points in the form of a summary and give this to the person. This written summary often includes such information as when the family will come into the funeral home for any private time, calling hours, service time, etc. With practice summarizing will become an integrated skill that is used frequently in your continued efforts to help people at a difficult time.
4. ILLUSTRATE THE USE OF SUMMARIZING
Examples of ways to lead naturally into summarizing are provided in the following illustrations.
“Maybe we would all find it helpful to review what we have talked about …”
“I’d like to take a minute to just go over everything you have decided…”
“Let’s summarize what you as a family have decided will best meet your needs…”
a. Summarizing reassures that you have heard what someone has said.
b. It allows persons an increased understanding and awareness of decisions they have made.
c. It is an excellent way of clearing up any confusion.
d. It is a natural way to conclude an interaction or make a transition into another area of discussion.
e. It provides people with a sense of movement, direction, and purpose.
Trainer will do any additional role-play modeling to enhance the ease of learning for participants.
GROUP REHEARSAL WITH TRAINER SUMMARIZING
Directions
The trainer will talk to the group for approximately ten minutes. The content will relate to some recent decision-making process. Upon conclusion of the trainer’s statements anyone can offer to summarize what was said.
Expectations
This will allow everyone to practice in the group setting in a nonthreatening environment. The trainer will provide immediate feedback on the summarizing and make any suggestions for improvement. This activity also allows participants to observe different styles of summarizing. Participants will be encouraged to ask follow-up questions and clarify any misunderstandings related to this skill.
TRIAD BREAK-OUT REHEARSAL SUMMARIZING
Directions
Work in triads. One person (speaker) should talk for approximately ten minutes about some recent decisionmaking process. The second person (helper-listener) to whom he or she is speaking will concentrate on using the skill of summarizing. The third person (observer) will be available to provide follow-up feedback on the effectiveness of the summarizing statements.
Each member of the triad will rotate through each of the three roles: speaker, helper-listener, and observer. The trainer will circulate throughout the room and be available for questions and concerns.
Expectations
Again, this will provide immediate feedback as participants work to develop this skill.
7. SUMMARIZE AND LIST GUIDELINES FOR THE SKILL
8. NOTES OR QUESTIONS YOU HAVE FOR THE TRAINER RELATED TO THE SKILL
After reading and participating in the activities related to Part II, Developing Interpersonal Skills, you should be able to (1) demonstrate an awareness of nine essential helping skills for the funeral director, (2) recognize the purpose for using a specific skill, (3) illustrate the use of these nine skills, and (4) be aware of summary guidelines related to each skill.