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Part I Recognizing the Role of Interpersonal Skills
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Part I Recognizing the Role of Interpersonal Skills
by Alan Wolfelt
Interpersonal Skills Training
Cover
Title
Copyright
Dedication
Acknowledgements
Foreword
Table of Contents
List of Activites
List of Figures
Part I Recognizing the Role of Interpersonal Skills
1. Why this Book?
A Focus on Service
Format of Text
A Challenge from the Author
Reference
2. Acknowledging the Need for Interpersonal Skills in the Funeral Home
Why Be a Funeral Director
Essential Personal Qualities
Interpersonal Skills and Changes within Funeral Service
Potential Role Conflict between Helper and Business Person
Interpersonal Skills Training Is Vital to the Future of Funeral Service
Summary Outcomes of Chapter
References
3. Characteristics of the Helping Funeral Director
Helping Characteristics
1. Empathy
2. Respect
3. Warmth and Caring
4. Genuineness
A Brief Review of Helper Characteristics
Summary Outcomes of Chapter
References
4. Understanding the Helping Process
The Relationship
Phases in the Helping Relationship
Summary Outcomes of Chapter
Part II Developing Interpersonal Skills
5. Developing Essential Helping Skills for Successful Funeral Service Practice
Is This an “Art” or a “Science”?
The Importance of Knowing Yourself
Three Levels of Communication
Introduction to Helping Skills Training
Phases of Acquiring New Interpersonal Skills
Phase 1. Initial Learning
Phase 2. Uncomfortable Use
Phase 3. Consciously Skilled
Phase 4. Naturally Skilled
Format for Learning Helping Skills
6. Skill One: Attending or Listening
1. Define the Skill
Personal Qualities of an Effective Listener
2. Identify Purposes for Using the Skill
3. Enhance Understanding of the Skill
Major Components of Attending
Other Components of Attending
4. Illustrate Use of Attending
5. Identify Outcomes Expected
6. Role-play—Demonstration
General Guidelines for Providing Feedback
7. Summarize and List Guidelines for the Skill
8. Notes or Questions You Have for the Trainer Related to This Skill
7. Skill Two: Paraphrasing
1. Define the Skill
2. Identify Purposes for Using the Skill
3. Enhance Understanding of the Skill
4. Illustrate the Use of Paraphrasing
Illustration A
Illustration B
Illustration C
5. Identify Outcome Expected
6. Role-play—Demonstration
7. Summarize and List Guidelines for the Skill
8. Notes or Questions You Have for the Trainer Related to This Skill
8. Skill Three: Clarifying
1. Define the Skills
2. Identify Purposes for Using the Skill
3. Enhance Understanding of the Skill
4. Illustrate the Use of Clarifying
Illustration A
Illustration B
Illustration C
5. Identify Outcomes Expected
6. Role-play—Demonstration
7. Summarize and List Guidelines for the Skill
8. Notes or Questions You Have for the Trainer Related to the Skill
9. Skill Four: Perception Checking
1. Define the Skill
2. Identify Purposes for Using the Skill
3. Enhance Understanding of Perception Checking
4. Illustrate the Use of Perception Checking
Illustration A
Illustration B
Illustration C
5. Identify Outcomes Expected
6. Role-play—Demonstration
7. Summarize and List Guidelines for the Skill
8. Notes or Questions You Have for the Trainer Related to the Skill
10. Skill Five: Leading
1. Define the Skill
2. Identifying Purposes for Using the Skill
3. Enhance Understanding of Leading
4. Illustrate the Use of Indirect Leading
Illustration A
Illustration B
Illustration C
5. Illustrate the Use of Direct Leading
Illustration A
Illustration B
Illustration C
6. Identify Outcomes Expected
7. Role-play—Demonstration
8. Summarize and List Guidelines for the Skill
9. Notes or Questions You Have for the Trainer Related to the Skill
11. Skill Six: Questioning
1. Define the Skill
2. Identify Purposes for Using the Skill
Special Note
3. Enhance Understanding of Questioning
Open-ended Questions
Closed Questions
Questioning Behavior
4. Illustrate the Use of Questioning
Illustration A
Illustration B
Illustration C
5. Identify Outcomes Expected
6. Role-play—Demonstration
7. Summarize and List Guidelines for the Skill
8. Notes or Questions You Have for the Trainer Related to the Skill
12. Skill Seven: Reflecting Feelings
1. Define the Skill
2. Identify Purposes for Using the Skill
3. Enhance Understanding of Reflecting Feelings
4. Illustrate the Use of Reflecting Feelings
Illustration A
Illustration B
Illustration C
5. Identify Outcomes Expected
Objectives Being Accomplished
6. Role-play—Demonstration
7. Summarize and List Guidelines for the Skill
8. Notes or Questions You Have for the Trainer Related to the Skill
13. Skill Eight: Informing
1. Define the Skill
2. Identify Purposes for Using the Skill
3. Enhance Understanding of Informing
4. Illustrate the Use of Informing
Illustration A
Illustration B
Illustration C
5. Identify Outcomes Expected
6. Role-play—Demonstration
7. Summarize and List Guidelines for the Skill
8. Notes or Questions You Have for the Trainer Related to the Skill
14. Skill Nine: Summarizing
1. Define the Skill
2. Identify Purposes for Using the Skill
3. Enhance Understanding of Summarizing
4. Illustrate the Use of Summarizing
Illustration A
Illustration B
Illustration C
5. Identify Outcomes Expected
6. Role-play—Demonstration
7. Summarize and List Guidelines for the Skill
8. Notes or Questions You Have for the Trainer Related to the Skill
Summary Outcomes of Part II
Part III Overcoming Barriers to Implementation
15. Barriers to Effective Communication
Funeral Director Dominance
Bombarding with Questions
Inappropriate Self-disclosure
Offering Platitudes or False Reassurance
Discouraging the Expression of Emotions and Tears
Emotional Distancing
Summary Outcomes of Chapter
16. The Integration and Implementation of Funeral Director Helping Skills
Enhancing Skills through Practice
Observation Sheets
Summary Outcomes of Chapter
Part IV Grief and Mourning
17. Understanding Grief and Mourning
Dispelling Five Common Myths about Grief
Myth #1: Grief and Mourning Are the Same Experience
Myth #2: A Predictable and Orderly Stage-like Progression Exists to the Experience of Mourning
Myth #3: The Best Procedure Is to Move Away from Grief Instead of Toward It
Myth #4: Following the Death of Someone Significant to You, the Goal Is to “Get Over” Your Grief
Myth #5: Tears Expressing Grief Are Only a Sign of Weakness
Summary Related to Myths
References
18. Uniqueness of Grief Response
1. Nature of the Relationship with the Person Who Died
Questions to Ask Self as Helper
2. Availablity, Helpfulness, and Ability of the Person to Make Use of a Social Support System
Questions to Ask Self as Helper
3. Unique Characteristics of the Bereaved Person
Questions to Ask Self as Helper
4. Unique Characterists of the Person Who Died
Questions to Ask Self as Helper
5. The Nature of the Death
Questions to Ask Self as Helper
6. Person’s Religious and Cultural History
Questions to Ask Self as Helper
7. Other Crises or Stresses in the Person’s Life
Questions to Ask Self as Helper
8. Previous Experiences with Death
Questions to Ask Self as Helper
9. Social Expectations Based on the Sex of the Survivor
Questions to Ask Self as Helper
10. Ritual or Funeral Experience
Questions to Ask Self as Helper
Summary Related to Grief Response
19. Overview of Normal Experience of Grief
Shock/Denial/Numbness/Disbelief
Disorganization/Confusion/Searching/Yearning
Generalized Anxiety/Panic/Fear
Physiological Changes
Explosive Emotions
Outward Explosive Emotions
Inward Explosive Emotions
Guilt/Remorse/Assessing Culpability
Loss/Emptiness/Sadness
Relief/Release
Reconciliation
References
20. Understanding Common Patterns of Avoiding Grief
Common Avoidance Patterns
1. The Postponer
2. The Displacer
3. The Replacer
4. The Minimizer
5. The Somaticizer
Consequences of Adopting Grief Avoidance Patterns
Encouraging the Healthy Expression of Grief
21. Children and Grief
Developmental Concepts of Death
Dimensions of Response to Death
Children and Funerals
Children, Religion, and Death
Children, the Family, and Mourning
Open Families Versus Closed Families
Final Thoughts
References
Summary Outcomes of Part IV
Part V Caring for the Caregiver
22. Funeral Service and Stress: Caring for the Caregiver
The Funeral Director and Stress
Exhaustion and Loss of Energy
Irritability and Impatience
Cynicism and Detachment
Physical Comlaints and Depression
Disorientaion and Confusion
Omnipotence and Feeling Indispensable
Minimization and Denial of Feelings
Am I Experiencing Funeral Service Burnout?
Guidelines for Caring for the Funeral Director
Final Thoughts
Summary Outcomes of Chapter
References
Additional Resource
23. A Final Word
Training Opportunities
Index
About the Author
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List of Figures
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1. Why this Book?
PART I
RECOGNIZING THE ROLE OF INTERPERSONAL SKILLS
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