ABCs of life, 59–61, 80, 103–04 120–21. See also Activating events
Activating events, 59–61, 80, 103, 120
beliefs about, 60
consequential response, 60
emotional brain, 76
focusing on goal, 74
motivation, clarity for, 77
sacrifice, 72
vision, expression of, 77
Agreement, empathy, distinguished, 87–88
pleasantness, mixing, 65
postponing response, 64
reframing, 65
Anthony, Susan B., 135
Anxiety inventory questions, 66
Behavioral strategies for managing emotions, 56–57
Beliefs, self-defeating, 60–64
Bolton, Dr. Robert, 97
training of, in overcoming adversity, 75 76
Bridges, William, 104
Burnout, depression, managing, 69–70
emotional intelligence and, 52, 102–9, 120–21
motivation for, 121
Clarity, motivational, in overcoming adversity, 77
Cognitive programming, 69
Cognitive strategies, for managing emotions, 58–59
Components of emotional intelligence, 10–12
Confronting emotion, 36
Covey, Stephen, 86
Discussion of problems, deflection through, 93–94
Distortion, in listening, 96
Distractions, for listeners, 95
activating events, 59–61, 80, 103–04, 120
dissonance, 126
emotional understanding, 49–50
goal achievement, optimistic, 79–80
job description, living beyond, 27–28
motivation, clarity for, 77
override, emotional, brain and, 39–41
relationship management, 101–2
self-concept, Johari Window model, 29–32
success, derailment, contrasted, 3–10
Emotional self-awareness, 13–24, 49, 54, 111–13
in overcoming adversity, 78–79
Emotional understanding, 48–49
agreement, distinguished, 87–88
Expectations, realigning, 65
Extrasensory perceptions, 34
invalidating responses, 99
judging responses, 98
Feeling vocabulary, developing, 23–24
Ferguson, Marilyn, 105
Focus upon goal, in overcoming adversity, 74–75
Forgiving of self, 69
Garfield, Dr. Charles, 28
emotional brain, 76
motivation, clarity for, 77
sacrifice, 72
self-awareness, 76
vision, expression of, 77
Goleman, Daniel, 11, 16, 31, 78, 119, 128
Guilt, 67
facing feelings of, 66
shame, differentiating, 68
taking responsibility for, 68–69
Gut feelings, 34
Hunches, 34
Ingham, Harrington, 30
co-creation of vision, 138
congruent messages, 133
connection to vision, 139
creation of vision, 140
emotional needs, 138
leveraging power of vision, 137–39
messages sent, mastering, 140
mood, managing, 139
positive feeling messages, 132
tailoring to individual, 121
toxic leadership, 124
Intuition, 34
Invalidating responses, as feeling blockers, 99
Inventory of anxiety, questions, 66
Irrationality of worry, recognition, 66
Judging responses, as feeling blockers, 97
Lack of self-awareness, emotional, 17. See also Emotional self-awareness
co-creation of vision, 138
congruent messages, 133
connection to vision, 139
creation of vision, 140
emotional needs, 138
leveraging power of vision, 137–39
messages sent, mastering, 140
mood, managing, 139
positive feeling messages, 132
toxic leadership, 124
vision enrollment, 137
visionary, 123–40. See also Vision
LeDoux, Dr. Joseph, 42
Lewis, C.S., 148
Listeners, distractions, 95
Listening
distortion in, 96
Listening skills, 100
Listening to feelings, 69
Log of self-awareness, 23
Luft, Joseph, 30
Manipulative tool, worry as, 67
Maxwell, John, 84
Meanings of words, variability by individual, 92
Modeling emotional intelligence, 121
Motivational clarity, in overcoming adversity, 77
Obsession, 66
Optimism, 121
Out-of-control emotions, 9
Perspective, 22
Plan of action, emotional intelligence, 141–48
Proactiveness and, values, living, 33
Problems, discussion of, deflection through, 93–94
Professional help, seeking, 70
Reflection
on results of interaction, 99
Relational thinking, 28–29, 70
Relationship management, 101–2, 106–9
Resentment, 111
Reward, 72
Sacrifice, in overcoming adversity, 72
Seeking professional help, 70
Self-awareness, 13–24, 49, 53, 111–13
in overcoming adversity, 77
Self-awareness log, 23
Self-concept, Johari Window model, 29–32
Self-forgiveness, 69
Self-management, 17, 49, 54–55, 113–14
Self-talk, 70
Seligman, Dr. Martin, 78
Senge, Peter, 138
Shame
guilt, differentiating, 68
Signals to act, emotions as, 38
Small successes, creation of, 70
Social awareness, 81–100, 114–16, 121
discussion of problems, deflection through, 94–95
distortion, in listening, 96–97
empathic listening, 89–96, 99–100
listeners, distractions, 95
listening skills, 100
reflection, on results of interaction, 100
word meanings, variability by individual, 91–92
Solution-sending, as feeling blockers, 98–99
Stress-management, 70
Teams
emotional tone of, 122
member appreciation, 122
membership, 122
optimism, 122
process, 122
enhancing performance with, 118–20
Triggers, finding, 64
Trump, Donald, 117
Unmanaged emotional behaviors, 9
Variability of word meanings, by individual, 91–92
co-creation of, 138
congruent messages, 132
connection to, 139
creation of, 140
emotional needs, 138
expression of, in overcoming adversity, 78
messages sent, mastering, 140
mood, managing, 139
positive feeling messages, 132
toxic leadership, 124
Word meanings, variability by individual, 91–92
brain, 119
motivation for, 120
cooperation, 114
inspiring performance, tailoring to individual, 121
modeling, 121
optimism, 121
relationship management, 101–2, 106–9
resentment, 111
teamwork, 116–20. See also Teamwork
Worry
irrationality of, recognition, 66
as manipulative tool, 67