Choice 12
Think and Grow Richly Alive

Thought is arguably the most powerful activity we can do in our lives. Unfortunately, it is easy to fall into the trap of allowing our minds to run out of control with shallow thoughts and avoid more meaningful thinking. Of course, at a minimum we think all the time in habitual and surface level ways that enable us to survive. But do we think in ways that help us to learn, grow, and develop into our fuller potential? Do we choose and nurture meaningful thinking, or do we allow our thoughts to occur almost randomly in ways that frequently disrupt our lives rather than enrich them? To borrow from the title of the classic bestseller Think and Grow Rich, do we think in ways that help us to grow richly alive?

In this chapter I want to share one of the most powerful secrets to effective thinking that I have ever discovered. It is what I call 3rd level thinking. Let me start with the analogy of the different “persons” that can be used when writing a story. We say we are writing in 1st, 2nd, or 3rd person depending on whether we tell the story by focusing on our own experience, addressing the reader directly, or describing the experience of others.

Similarly, your thoughts can be viewed as occurring at three levels. The difference in this case, however, is that 1st, 2nd, and 3rd level thinking all take place within your own mind.

The 1st level consists of thoughts that enter, or perhaps more accurately invade, your mind in response to immediate events, or even out of the blue. This is the most basic thinking level, sometimes containing thoughts that trigger emotions and that can be very arousing. You might suddenly think about how a colleague publicly criticized you in a recent meeting, even though the event occurred two days ago and has no apparent connection with what you are doing right now. This level of thinking not only begins to trigger emotional and physiological reactions, such as those that accompany frustration or anger, but it triggers the 2nd level of thinking.107

At the 2nd level you think about your 1st level thoughts. For example, you might think “that lousy SOB, how dare he criticize me publicly. After all the ways I have helped him over the years and all the mistakes he has made in the past.” And who is suffering from the resulting indignant emotional reaction? It’s only you. The person who delivered the insult, and doesn’t even know about this internal conversation, is unaffected.

Often, this is as far as the thinking goes. You are left fuming about the unfair criticism. In other cases it might be the mistake the waiter made on your bill or the way you messed up during a recent presentation. Or it could be the poor service received from a vendor you have supported for years, or the dissatisfaction you feel with your lot in life that seems so unfair given how hard you have worked and how noble you have been. This pattern of 1st and 2nd level thinking can leave you feeling upset, dissatisfied, and in a generally lousy mood. Unless…

This is where 3rd level thinking comes in. You can choose to disengage from your current thinking process and observe what is going on, as though you are watching two people interact. You can stop and reflect on the 1st and 2nd level thinking. Normally this will occur as mostly relatively detached nonverbal observation of your thoughts. But if it were put into words, it might sound something like this, “I see that a thought about the past criticism invaded my mind and then I’ve been caught up in internal dialogue reacting to my thought. And I’ve been getting very upset about some thoughts in my head that I didn’t even invite in there… very interesting.”108

This new level of thinking can almost immediately free you from the cycle of negativity and uncomfortable emotion. By choosing to focus on this 3rd level, you are lifted above the upsetting internal chatter. By choosing 3rd level thinking you are freed to appreciate the moment and to regain some sense of balance in your life. Instead of experiencing life through these upsetting thoughts, they simply become another aspect of life to observe. Instead of allowing your thoughts to essentially push you around on the inside, you are able to be relatively unaffected by them because you can see them for what they are—temporary invaders of your mental world that have power only to the extent you give it to them.

To further reinforce these ideas, from a different more artistic perspective, consider the following poem.

Thoughtful Invasion

Fleeting thoughts, haunting thoughts,

rising, turning, leaping, fuming, always intruding.

They come, they go, they hold the mind and heart.

In themselves their significance limited but power great,

shaking the very soul of my soul I am sent tumbling.

But it is my thinking about my thoughts,109

not just the thoughts, that wounds or heals.

I royalize my thoughts… enshrine, empower, immortalize.

Yet they are but fleeting, leaping, invading, uninvited self-important guests.

So I am left with the challenge, the journey, the inner quest.

It is my thinking about my thinking about my thoughts that holds the promise.

This alone can allow a letting go to live and to be.

And in this thinking my mental chains can be returned to the electric dust from which they sprung.

Come fleeting thoughts, come haunting invading thoughts, for I am set free.

—Charles C. Manz

The concept of 3rd level thinking also applies to what appears to be positive, even euphoric, thinking. It’s true that the thoughts that invade your mind can be of upbeat ideas that trigger exciting 2nd level thinking and emotions. These “positive” thoughts can also be overly stimulating and actually produce stress.

For example, you might think of a promising new project idea or a potential lucrative investment. Next, you begin to fantasize about all the fame and wealth that it could bring you. Soon you find yourself fixated on this possibility and so excited that you even have difficulty sleeping at night. You may also be so captivated by the possibilities that you don’t bother to research the facts surrounding this potential opportunity. As a result you find yourself at best left with a temporary surge of excited energy. At worst, you are confronted with an uninformed reckless risk of your time and resources, and your exaggerated feelings may cause you to move ahead with costly results.110

Of course, much of the time it is just fine to let this process of positive thought and emotion unfold naturally, as long as it doesn’t lead to taking reckless risks or costing too much sleep. But as the old saying goes, what goes up must come down. Eventually, these positive thoughts and feelings will fade or even abruptly give way to the reality of the challenges of the moment and other less positive thoughts. All this means that being able to use 3rd level thinking, even on your positive upbeat thoughts, can help you to be freed from the powerful grip of the reactionary tides of whirling feelings.

It takes some work to establish an ongoing ability to see things from the 3rd level. It may seem a bit confusing at first, but the key is to choose to think at a different level. That is, you need to purposely think about your thinking about your thoughts. This choice can put you in touch with where your real power lies to become richly alive and is especially important when you find yourself reacting dysfunctionally to uninvited invading thoughts.