Choice 21
The Drama of Subtlety
We can do no great things— only small things with great love.
—Mother Teresa94
We have a natural tendency to pay close attention and react to the large dramatic events in our lives. All too often these dramatic influences are quite negative. Career failures, relationship breakdowns, and major illnesses are obvious examples. And big problems at work, significant interpersonal conflicts, and difficult financial setbacks capture our attention and impact our feelings as well. Together these potentially demoralizing forces can drag our spirits downward.172
Meanwhile, the more subtle, positive but less obvious, events in our lives often are not even noticed. Nevertheless, they too can play a dramatic role in how we experience life if we become attuned to them. The idea that the small things in life may hold great potency for bearing much good was elegantly brought to life in the New Testament.
The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed that someone took and sowed in his field; it is the smallest of all the seeds, but when it has grown it is the greatest of shrubs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches.—Matthew 13:31-32, New Revised Standard Version
It seems even heaven is based on the drama of subtlety.
These insights raise a tremendous opportunity for choosing how we feel. By making a choice to be proactively sensitive to all the magnificent subtlety in the world, we can place ourselves on a path that can uplift our whole experience of life. Albert Schweitzer said, “In everyone’s life at some time our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.” Of course, the challenge that could be thrown back in response to this encouraging proclamation is “what if the person who can rekindle my spirit never shows up?” The good news is that we can be that person for ourselves if we learn and choose to be open to the positive drama of subtlety.173
William Blake wrote poignant words that illustrate these ideas well:
- To see a world in a grain of sand
- and a heaven in a wild flower,
- hold infinity in the palm of your hand
- and eternity in an hour.
—the drama of subtlety indeed.
It is unfortunate that sometimes our large expectations can get in the way of our ability to feel good about our lives. We may want a dramatic expression of love from a personal partner. We might expect a large pay raise or to be presented with significant public recognition and awards for our work. We may, perhaps without realizing it, be expecting others to be more concerned about our immediate needs than their own. And we may want and expect these large dramatic things, and want them now!
As a consequence we can miss the small but heartfelt gesture that a family member does specifically for our benefit. Or we might not notice the sincere but subtle compliment someone offers us at work. And we may miss the “olive branch” compromise that long-time opponents offer on a subject that here-to-now they have been unbudging on. And these examples don’t even begin to address the vast miracles in the world that surround us every day, such as the beautiful blue sky on a sunny day or the gentle breeze that lightly strokes our hair. Or perhaps they take the form of the colorful bird that serenades us or the exotic butterfly that graciously points out the most beautiful flower by alighting on it.174
Sometimes, when we are really caught up in what seem to be the bigger cares of life, the drama of subtlety may even seek us out and offer us the gift of freedom, if only for a moment, from our many self-imposed burdens. The story below describes one person’s remarkable encounter with one of nature’s tinier creatures.
Hummingbird Moments
Sometimes everything on the list doesn’t get checked off. Sometimes things just don’t get done.
It was late August. With Christmas-like excitement about seeing family and friends, we were almost frantically getting ready for a week in Idaho. Our flight was at 2:15. My husband was at work managing last minute leaving-details, and I had half a day to nurture all of our flora and fauna and pack the necessaries for travel to Idaho. I’d taken the dog for a romp in the woods, set the sprinklers with timers to keep the flowers joyful, tidied the house, mowed the grass, filled the bird/squirrel feeders, loved on the cats, and showed the neighbors how to keep everyone alive and happy.175
Watering the garden on our deck, I mentally checked my to-do list. Holding the hose on a hibiscus, I froze as a tiny forest friend flew to the hummingbird feeder and dipped and drank until satisfied. Just as quickly as she came, she turned to go back to the tree-tops and, with missile-speed, she flew directly into the sun-sky-forest reflection on the glass door. She fell to the deck like a pebble.
I tiptoed over to the tiny victim of civilization and slowly knelt beside her. Moving one muscle fiber at a time, I picked her up. There was not even a flicker as she lay on her side, covering barely half of my palm. Gently, ever, ever so gently, I began stroking her breast with one finger. I was awed by the dazzling ruby feather on her throat as I admired God’s handiwork in the jewel-like prismatic reflections of sunshine from her tiny feathers.
Moments crawled. Edging over to sit on the bench under the overhanging trees, I continued to stroke for, oh… I don’t know how long. By then, time didn’t matter.
Finally, there was a gentle flicker—a feather flutter as she struggled to right herself. For a time she was contented to rest in the nest of my hand. Her eyes dragged open and we met. We held a whispered conversation. She found her feet and stood, stretched her wings, and nestled down again. Time passed. She stretched again …. tried flight…. staggered to my forearm. Rest…. a scramble to my shoulder…. rest…. a lunge to the deck railing …. rest…. and then she rose, hovered, and darted into the canopy of green.176
It was then I who was motionless. I just sat, waiting… listening… watching… hoping … for just one more touch. Tears began to flow… and then a buzz crossed my ear. The tiny bird hovered, looking me straight in the eyes. Gently, I moved my hand upward, holding out one finger… She perched …. but this time for just a hummingbird moment…. as if to say “Thank you!” And then she was gone.
That afternoon as we, too, took flight, I reflected on the morning’s script…. a woman, a schedule, a list ,.… and a God who sent a hummingbird to remind me that, even in the busiest of times, I must take time to stop …. to wait…. to listen …. to watch …. to let nothing else matter …. and then to say “Thank you!”
Sometimes everything on the list doesn’t get checked off. Sometimes things just don’t get done. Sometimes…
© Patty Lowe, 2002. “Gentle Journey into Prayer: Discovering the Prayer Language of Your Own Heart”177
When we are sincerely committed to making a choice to open ourselves to uplifted feelings, we will discover that we are surrounded by countless potential collaborators, both in the natural and human-created world. In this sense feeling good truly is a choice we make from moment to moment. While we may not be able to feel great every moment, we can choose to search for the subtle gifts in our lives that often represent and produce significant, even dramatic, good feelings. We can discover the vast array of kindness and miraculous forces in the world. Those who truly make the emotional discipline choice to commit to feeling good are called to search every day for all the dramatic subtlety that is capable of rekindling our inner spirit.