Leaders are always looking for ways to build the skill set of their employees and improve engagement. Putting a formal mentoring program in place may be one of the most cost-effective and efficient ways to help transfer knowledge from more experienced employees to those who want and need additional training. Great mentoring programs are the kind of personal development people want. They will help you attract and retain talent and leverage your most valuable asset—your people.

Mentorship is a partnership between individuals to promote professional and career development. The key word is partnership. A mentor must be an active participant in the relationship. The ideal mentee is a motivated individual who is open to feedback, coaching, and guidance. They also need the ability to learn, a good dose of patience, and comfort with being a team player. Both parties must be highly engaged, so making participation in a mentoring program mandatory probably won’t work.

Mentoring has many benefits. Mentees learn practical skills they can use on the job and gain insight into the organization’s culture and the nuances of the company. The organization gains more highly skilled leaders and employees and creates a more positive and engaged workplace. Mentoring helps build relationships and can be a great way to get honest feedback and figure out what employees are passionate about (all key to reducing turnover). It’s a great way to show the company cares. Mentors enjoy the many rewards of “giving back” and also gain leadership and coaching skills and learn other things from the process.

If your company has a formal mentorship program, great. Many don’t. But as a leader you can always take the initiative to offer your mentoring services to someone, find a mentor for yourself, or connect potential mentors and mentees with each other.

There are certain qualities and behaviors that make someone a great mentor. Whether you’re serving as a mentor or seeking one out, here is what “great” looks like:

• Great mentors have done it and/or are doing it. They are respected in their organizations and in the community.
• Great mentors are willing to share their knowledge, expertise, and skills. They understand where the mentee is, they relate to the time when they were there themselves, they show sincerity, and they freely give away what they have learned.
• But they don’t just give the answers. Instead, they help the mentee arrive at the answers. Great mentors want mentees to think for themselves. They listen fully and ask probing questions. They understand their job is simply to enhance and awaken the best part of you. They believe the skill, the courage, and the confidence are there; they just need to release it. Sometimes they ask mentees to go away and think about an issue for a while and report back.
• They focus on character at least as much as skill. They know that values, self-awareness, integrity, and empathy matter more than knowing how to perform tasks. A mentee can always learn how to do something. Guidance on how to be will serve them better in the long run.
• Great mentors aren’t afraid to get personal. They know there is no sharp divide between work life and personal life. It’s a real relationship. Sometimes the lines get blurred and that’s okay.
• Great mentors walk the walk. They live by the same behaviors they are teaching.
• They are honest about their shortcomings. If a mentor isn’t yet where they want to be in their career and life, they say so. Mentors are human and not perfect. It is not fair to a mentor or a mentee for the mentor to be put on a pedestal.
• Great mentors know they are not finished products. They have committed themselves to ongoing learning. They admit when they are still learning in the mentor–mentee relationship. They will often learn right along with the mentee.
• Great mentors care. They take the role of a mentor seriously. They’re like a guide on a mountain climb: they want to make sure the tools and skills are in place. They are committed to the mentee’s success.
• They are positive by nature. Mentors are cup-half-full people who help the mentee see the opportunities when facing obstacles. The mentee can feel the enthusiasm of the mentor, both spoken and unspoken.
• They help the mentee hold up the mirror. They provide constructive feedback and guidance. Mentors help the mentee leverage their strengths. A mentor will also benefit from the lessons as it will help them hold up their own mirror.
• Great mentors teach from experience. They do not ask a mentee to take steps they themselves did not take. They share their own self-awareness and development plan and their own goals.
• They demand accountability. If the mentee isn’t living up to their end of the bargain or if they otherwise aren’t doing their best, a great mentor is willing to say so. They tend to have some structure around meeting times, goals, expectations, and milestones.
• They also help the mentee find other mentors. Even the best mentor will also have gaps in their knowledge. They don’t mind admitting this. Due to their experience and network, they have a lot of social capital and can usually connect the mentee with other resources. In addition, they should know how much they can help and when it’s time to get someone else involved.
• Great mentors tell the hard truths (but they do it with caring). They explain that even when feedback is not positive, it is because they care and are committed to the mentee’s success. They connect to the why. And when tempers flare, which sometimes happens, they are patient with the mentee.

These are really just tips I’ve collected over the years. I know there are many more out there. If you’re thinking of becoming a mentor, consider doing some research. There are great resources out there for setting up a very effective program. Being a mentor is work. Be sure to reward and recognize those in your organization who are willing to give their time to the effort.

How to Be a Great Mentee

Now, let’s talk briefly about the other party in this relationship: the mentee. Anyone, no matter how experienced they are, can benefit from being a mentee—particularly if they are entering a new field or taking on an ownership role for the first time.

If you are a mentee looking for a mentor, do some research. Then, list three to five people who may fit what can help you most. After that, just ask. You’ll be surprised at how many would say yes.

Some may decline when asked and that’s okay. Don’t take it personally. There could be good reasons for some to say no, like family, health, and so on. Many will be surprised you asked them because they may be selling themselves short on the impact they are making and the impact they could have on a mentee. While it’s great if they work inside your company, that might not always be possible. You may find someone who is a better fit somewhere else.

The ideal mentee is a motivated individual who is open to feedback, coaching, and guidance. They also need the ability to learn, as well as patience and to be comfortable with being a team player.

Here are a few tips for being a good mentee:

• Clearly communicate needs. As one might assume, ambiguity can make a mentor/mentee much less effective. It’s important for a mentee to communicate the most pressing needs clearly and in a timely manner so the mentor can help.
• Share thoughts, worries, fears, and hopes for the future. That’s what a mentor is for. A good mentee is honest about where they are and where they stand. Even the best mentor can’t really help if they don’t know the truth. Offer both short- and long-range plans.
• Get familiar with the mentor’s background. What strengths do they bring to the table? A mentor can have decades of experience that can be vitally important to a newcomer’s success. Perhaps their strength isn’t to be able to provide financial backing. Understanding the background and skill set a mentor has will help maximize the guidance they can provide.
• Take ownership of the relationship. It’s important for the mentee to own the communication. Setting up meetings and phone calls keeps the relationship alive. One effective way would be to prepare a meeting agenda in advance to keep the conversation productive and on task. Be mindful of the mentor’s time.
• Be self-aware. Identify specific areas in which you know you need improvement and work on them. Be humble, willing to learn, and curious. Few people want to mentor a know-it-all.
• Do the work. Come early, stay late, go the extra mile, and show a real commitment to getting better. Watching your growth and development is fulfilling to mentors.
• A mentor is there to develop, but it can affect the relationship negatively if the mentor finds him- or herself working harder at the mentee’s success than the mentee is. Identify and execute.
• Ask for feedback. Don’t wait for the mentor to provide it. For example: “What questions should I be asking that I have not asked?” and “On a scale from 1 to 10, with 10 being highest, rate my follow-up actions since we last met.”

One of my favorite sayings is, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.” A good mentee stays ready and looking for the right mentor to appear, so that when the right person comes along, they are able to fully capitalize on it.

A better-trained, more engaged workforce is what everyone wants. A good mentorship program can help you achieve this. Start small if you need to, but get something underway. You won’t believe what a game changer it can be.