When a conflict gets to the point that it's affecting an entire team or department, it's often necessary, and even beneficial, to include as many people as possible in resolution efforts. This chapter helps you refine your role as a meeting facilitator, walks you through organizing a meeting, and focuses on the art of working with a large group.
Even if employees have viewed you as the problem solver or go-to person in the past, when you're in a group meeting to address conflict, you take on a different function — that of neutral facilitator. So this isn't the time to gather the troops so you can deliver a lecture, stifle comments or questions, and then send them back to work with their tail between their legs. Rather, you want to create an environment in which the attendees work through problems and build their own solutions. You're the (somewhat) objective guide at this point.
Note
As facilitator, it's important to communicate that the meeting is a safe and positive place where the team is allowed to communicate openly, share perspectives, and work through ideas together. Focus your efforts in two areas: the process (how), and the content (what).
Process: The process is key to the group's progress. It's the infrastructure that creates an atmosphere in which participants effectively work together, knowing that each person has a reasonable chance to express her views and that these views won't be ignored or tossed aside. Process elements include
Involving participants
Managing communication
Building trust
Giving support to group members
Generating ideas and evaluation strategies
Administering procedures for decision making, taking action, and moving to next steps
Content: The content is everything from what group members are discussing to the quality and quantity of the ideas they're sharing. Before the meeting, use content to form a plan. Afterward, use it to move forward with resolution, to determine whether additional meetings are necessary, and to decide whether to tap new resources. Examples of content include
The ideas being generated
The issues to be discussed
The decisions being made
The plan being developed
The steps taken to carry out the plan
The progress to be reviewed
If you're considering a team meeting to address a conflict, chances are you realize that a problem exists. Even if you feel comfortable with your current knowledge about the conflict, continue gathering more details. Build on what you already know so that you can assess and understand the needs and status of the group more fully.
In this section, I discuss a variety of techniques you can use to gather information from as many of the team members as possible, because the more you know, the better your meeting will be.
Before you jump in and start exploring the situation with other people, spend some time contemplating a few things on your own. Ask yourself:
What are my observations of the team dynamics at this point?
What issues have been brought to my attention?
Can I identify themes from these concerns and complaints?
Is the intensity between team members increasing?
Tip
Use what you know as a jumping off point to find out what you don't know. For example, if you've determined that the intensity in the group is increasing but that only a handful of issues have been brought to your attention, you can then craft questions that will uncover additional issues and perhaps expose communication problems within the team.
Formulating good questions helps you gain more than the basic information. Good questions are open-ended, yet still have some structure. Consider these two questions:
Example #1: How do you feel?
Example #2: How has this incident affected you?
Example #1 is too open and lacks connection to the subject. Example #2 links the question to the situation at hand and allows the participant to answer with how she feels and what she thinks. Your goal is to allow the participants to feel free to share what's most important to them in a way that provides solid, valuable information that you can work from.
Another way to ask questions is to order them in a past-present-future structure. This allows people to move along a natural path from what has occurred to what's happening now to what the situation could be moving forward. I often use questions like these:
Past:
When did the conflict begin for you?
What incidents have occurred?
What impact has this conflict had on you?
What steps have you taken to resolve the conflict?
What effect, if any, did those steps have?
What would you like to see changed?
What ideas do you have?
How do you feel about attending a meeting to discuss group concerns?
Are you aware of any external pressures that are affecting the group?
Future:
What do you want to see happen?
What would be the best outcome for the team?
What will you need so that you can work well in the future?
Note
After you ask questions about the conflict, make sure to include some other questions that help people focus on the positive qualities of the group and set the tone for a productive team conversation. Consider these:
What do you feel are the strengths of this group?
What have been some of the group's greatest successes?
What are you most proud of in this group?
What is your vision of what this group can be in the future?
For other tips on asking good questions, see Chapter 7.
You can use multiple methods for gathering information from a group. Whether you choose to use individual interviews, group interviews, or surveys depends on the group's size, the need for personal connection, the conflict's intensity, and time constraints. If you have a large group with varying job responsibilities like accounting, facilities, information technology, and marketing, interview each department to gather team and individual feedback on how a change will impact these groups as a whole. If you have a time constraint that doesn't allow for multiple group discussions, and you trust that one person can speak for many, interview a representative from each group.
If you have a group of ten or fewer, take the time to speak to each party privately by personal interview or phone conversation. One-on-one conversations build trust and help each person feel comfortable when it's time to move into the larger group discussion. Private interviews also give you an opportunity to coach participants on how to share their perspective and insight with others.
Tip
Schedule all the appointments prior to starting. This gives everyone a chance to prepare and gives you time between interviews to summarize the information you elicit so that you don't lose sight of important facts. Make sure to schedule each interview for the same duration — about 30 minutes — but realize that some will run short and others will run long.
Gathering feedback by way of a written survey — or questionnaire — is an effective choice when the group is large, when safety and anonymity are desired, or when people are in distant locations.
Note
You get more truthful answers when you allow survey participants to respond to questions anonymously. Be upfront about the purpose and use of the survey and whether it will be kept confidential.
Good questionnaires have well-defined goals with clear and concise sentences. Questions should be simple and to the point to reduce misunderstanding. Customize your survey to provide as much information as you need to feel comfortable evaluating the issues, but be succinct. No one wants to spend hours on these things!
Tip
Give your survey a short but meaningful title, such as "Questions for the March 5th Team Meeting," or "Team Strengths and Areas for Development," or "What's Affecting Our Ability to Meet Deadlines?"
Tip
If you'd rather not tackle putting your own questionnaire together, a number of online services can help you. Many of these services are free, though most offer advanced options for a one-time fee or a subscription-based payment schedule. These services allow you to customize professionally designed templates with your own questions that you can e-mail to your participants, or link to a Web site that administers the survey for you.
Create a timeline of events or incidents with the information you gather. Creating a timeline helps you understand more completely what key events happened, when they took place, and their impact on specific employees. This information allows you to build an agenda for the group meeting that addresses both broad perspectives and specific issues.
As an example, suppose a manager created a team to work on a new project. At the first team meeting, she assigned individual duties. At the second meeting, she added additional team members and redefined duties. At the third meeting, she created small groups to work from that point on.
The groups had obvious tension with each other, and the manager began to ask questions via interviews. Team members shared concerns 0about the way work was delegated. Many members had worked hard on the tasks they were assigned in the first meeting and were resentful over sharing the fruits of their labor. Many had hoped for individual recognition and felt that the creation of small groups minimized personal input and took away any chance for personal rewards. Over time, communication and sharing in the small groups became nonexistent, which undermined the project.
By creating a timeline and conducting interviews to pinpoint the beginning and middle of the conflict, the manager was later able to build a group meeting agenda that focused on the exact moments that teamwork fractured, which made for a much more productive discussion.
Assessing the intensity and level of emotion in a conflict helps you determine how and when to proceed. If tension is growing and people are beginning to take sides, or if conversations that were occurring in private are now flowing into public areas, then the intensity is increasing and you need to act. (For more information on emotional intensity and when to respond, see Chapter 2.)
Table 10-1includes information on how to address the conflict after you've pinpointed the team's intensity level. Identify your situation in Table 10-1 to see where your team is at the moment. Some of the solutions in this chart refer to a goal statement, which you find out about in the later section "Determining the goal of your meeting."
If the team members are having disagreements but are still using language that includes the word "we," and they're open to brainstorming solutions, the group meeting would include the group's participation in identifying problem areas and issues as well as ownership in the solutions. If, on the other end of the scale, full-blown warfare has erupted, consider a series of shorter meetings in which you solely identify the goal for the discussion and draw out what team members believe they need to discuss in a longer meeting. For example, if a team is experiencing a complex problem, you may call one meeting to focus only on administrative policies, a second that looks at customer service, and a third for communication options. By having these brief, focused meetings where only topics are discussed (without getting into the details behind the topics), your team becomes aware of what the issues are for everyone involved. Shedding new light on a problem and expanding individual perspectives helps people see the issue in a whole new way.
Table 10-1. Intensity of Conflict Chart
Issues | Emotion | Communication | Behavior | Resolution | How to Work with the Team | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Low to High | Disagreement over goals, values, needs | Frustration, controlled | Open dialogue, "we" dialogue | Willing, forgiving | Collaboration, peace | Team identifies the problem, generates ideas, creates solution |
Argument over values, needs, personalities | Confused, cautious, distrusting | Tentative, holding back, "I" language | Watchful, protective, separate | Compromise, acceptable agreement | You present the goal statement; team stays in large group and works through issues | |
Battle for needs, safety, stability | Distressed, hopeless, struggling | Evasive "she" or "they" language, criticism | Resistance, coalition-building, preparing for the worst | Looking for help, hoping someone will intercede | You present the goal statement; start with large group, then use small groups to create safety and bring out concerns | |
Warfare, destruction | Fear, anger, rage, uncontrolled | Closed to listening, aggressive and negative language | Compelled to act, confrontation, destruction | Appealing to a higher authority | You present the goal statement; immediate small group work — short frequent meetings to build new team dynamics |
When you're facing a group conflict, you can toss everyone into a room and wing it, or you can put some thought into it. The more upfront planning you do, the better your odds are for a fruitful outcome, so set yourself up for success. Prior to the meeting, do the following:
Create a goal statement.
Set an agenda.
Engineer ground rules.
Plan meeting logistics (time, place).
Assign tasks if you plan to use additional facilitators.
Identify and collect data, exhibits, maps, charts, reports, and so on.
Clarify time constraints and deadlines as necessary.
Distribute meeting details to participants.
Gather needed equipment and materials.
Determine how you'll use breakout groups.
While you're working out the tactical details of your meeting — like reserving a room large enough to hold the group, getting your hands on the pertinent documents, or ensuring the participants clear their calendars to avoid interruptions — give some thought to the meeting's content. The following sections provide more information on setting goals and approaching your meeting with a strategy for success.
A clear goal statement gives purpose and focus to a meeting. More important, it serves as the criterion by which to consider all ideas and solutions. Be a strong facilitator and determine the goal of the first meeting; then assist the team in setting the goal statement for any additional meetings.
Here are some broad suggestions to get you started:
Clarify roles and responsibilities within a project or a team.
Discuss behaviors that are affecting the team.
Change or retool processes that aren't working.
Create harmony and renew relationships.
Start with a broad idea of what you'd like to tackle, and then get specific before you communicate the goal of the meeting to the attendees. How you state the goal makes a difference in the attendees' attitude and expectations. For example, a goal statement like, "The purpose of this meeting is to determine who is responsible for the breakdown in service" would result in a group of defensive participants full of accusations and ready to point fingers. In contrast, "The purpose of this meeting is to determine proactive ways to limit the breakdown in services" sets the tone for a positive, productive discussion in which people's ideas and creative thinking are appreciated. It acknowledges the problem but doesn't dwell on the past or make accusations. Your goal statement should do the same.
The agenda serves as a guide for the entire group to follow during the meeting. As people move from large group work to small group work and back again, they can always look to the agenda to know where they are in the process. The best work is often done when time is limited, so keep the meeting moving forward as much as possible. A good agenda includes:
Exact start and end times
Participation requirements (including ground rules)
Breaks
Points when the facilitator has the floor
Details, details, details
Ground rules allow group members to share information in a respectful manner, creating an environment where ideas are heard and validated. Suggest ground rules that help accomplish the meeting goal, and then give the group the opportunity to create a set of guidelines (or add to an existing set) that everyone can agree to work with. Use them to keep the group on task and to lessen your need to intervene as the meeting progresses. Start with these:
Everyone is invited to participate.
All ideas are valid.
Speak for yourself — avoid "we" language.
Speak respectfully — without monopolizing or interrupting.
Ask questions instead of making assumptions.
Honor each person's right to pass.
Follow time limits.
Avoid interrupting.
Be present by turning off phones and computers.
Tip
Display the final ground rules so everyone can see them — they're a good visual reminder of the group's first agreement!
When designing the meeting process, consider making time for small group work. Breakouts can be a welcome change from the large group dynamic and allow people to share more perspectives (they also keep people awake and on point!). For more on the logistics of working with breakout groups, see the section "Breaking into small groups" later in this chapter.
Tip
If emotions are running high and trust is low, consider breaking into small group work right away to avoid the angry mob mentality taking over from the start. If the team conflict hasn't reached a critical point, start as a large group and use small group work later in the meeting.
Adding breakout groups to your meeting plan has many benefits. Breakout groups
Give individuals more airtime
Provide a more comfortable forum for reticent people to speak
Allow for efficient, simultaneous work on multiple topics or tasks
Provide anonymity and greater safety when issues are difficult or emotional
Furnish a space for problem solving and proposals that the larger group can refine and approve
Deter soapbox speeches from negatively affecting the whole group
Before you jump in with a plan laden with small group assignments, consider the limitations. Breakout groups
Take up valuable meeting time — from deciding how to divide to settling down to reconvening
Create more tactical work on your part in the preparation phase
May instill resistance in participants who are suspicious of breaking up the larger group
May get competitive, leading people to become territorial and go overboard protecting their ideas
May make individuals feel that they don't need to participate in the large group work
Because you called the meeting to discuss a conflict, rest assured that everyone will be watching your every move. Employees will scrutinize everything from how the room is set up to how you describe your role. Be prepared, be present, and be ready to listen as you facilitate the discussion.
Welcome all the participants to the team meeting. Be confident and clear, maintain eye contact, and don't forget to smile! Your comfort in front of the group will help people relax and will create the open and inviting environment you're shooting for.
Introduce yourself and describe your role as a facilitator. Explain how you'll be assisting the group in the discussions and goals for the day. If you have guests or assistants, introduce them and describe their roles as well.
Read the goal statement for the meeting. Ask for questions and allow time — five minutes at the most — for the participants to understand clearly the task for the day.
Describe the details of what you're asking of the group and the time frame for the meeting. Help the team understand what the large and small group goals are. Remember that your agenda should include time to ask questions and have a short discussion.
Present the ground rules you created beforehand (refer to the earlier section "Proposing ground rules"), and ask the attendees to add any additional ground rules that are necessary for them to work together (add no more than one or two requests). The entire group must agree (a quick show of hands should do it) to all ground rules before you begin, because you'll use the rules as your moral compass, so to speak, when things get heated or the meeting starts to derail.
Tip
Because you can't be everywhere at once, create a version of the guidelines to post at small group stations to remind everyone of how they agreed to participate in this process.
It's imperative to provide individuals with an opportunity to share their point of view. The goal in a large group setting is to do so in a way that has structure and isn't a free-for-all. People can share their perspective in the large group or in smaller breakout groups, but take into account how intense the feelings may be and how vocal the group could get. Whatever you choose, consider the following technique.
Provide a framework for people to follow when it's their turn to speak so that they can acknowledge the past but quickly move to the future with solid ideas and a willingness to create something new. Your guidelines for input should include four parts:
Incident: Simply describe what happened (the details).
Impact: How has the incident affected you personally?
Change: What do you feel needs to change?
Ideas: What ideas do you have to move forward?
Members of a group often have differing expectations, assumptions, and needs. Some members need individual time and attention, and if they don't get it, they may create interruptions. An important part of your job as facilitator is to handle such distractions with appropriate responses so you can move the discussion forward.
Tip
Moving around the room can curb disruptions before they occur. Maintaining eye contact with the group — not just the individual speaking — lets others know you care about what they're thinking and feeling.
It's important to your audience that the participation feel balanced, so when someone talks out of turn, makes too many jokes, or challenges your authority, address the disruption by being clear and assertive and by using a confident tone of voice.
Note
Addressing interruptions doesn't mean you have to use a sledgehammer at the first sign of trouble. Always start with low-level, subtle, least threatening responses. You don't want to alienate the disruptive person, and you don't want the others to see you as an ineffectual meeting facilitator.
Here are some of the more common disruptive behaviors and tips for responding to them:
Challenging the facilitator: If someone's undermining your agenda, or is agitated and confused about what you're doing and why you're in charge, or is making personal attacks, then she's challenging you. Interventions are:
Low level: Remain calm; ask the speaker to repeat the concern for the whole group.
Mid level: Validate the concern; ask what the speaker needs to know and what information would be helpful to the group.
High level: Tell the speaker you'll have a private conversation with her during the break, and then chat with her later to quickly hear her out and ask for her cooperation. Let her know you may have to excuse her from the meeting if the behavior continues.
Having side conversations: Side chatter is distracting, disruptive, and disrespectful. It also makes people paranoid! If you ignore it, you run the risk of failing to adhere to your guidelines for the meeting, and you show bias for the chatty person's status in the group by allowing her to undermine your efforts. Interventions are:
Low level: Walk over next to the disruptive culprit so she becomes aware the group is focusing on her.
Mid level: Ask her if she has a question or concern that needs to be addressed, and remind everyone of the ground rules (side conversations are a form of interrupting).
High level: Speak privately with the individual about the disruptions, and ask her for a commitment to change her behavior.
Being overly enthusiastic: Some people love to share and share and share. They may think they have great ideas, or they may talk when they're anxious, or maybe they just like to hear the sound of their own voice. Either way, their over-participation discourages others from engaging in the conversation. Interventions are:
Low level: Thank the individual for her input and ask if anyone else has a point of view to share.
Mid level: Remind the speaker that you need to follow the timeline in the agenda, and ask her to state the point she feels is the most important.
High level: In private, confront her about the amount of time she's taking to put forth her views at the expense of other people's opinions. Ask her for a commitment to change her behavior, and offer to provide additional ways she might share her ideas, such as by e-mail or memos.
Dropping out: Some people are uncomfortable speaking in public, but if you think a team member isn't sharing for another reason, she may be intimidated by you or others, or she may be waiting for a chance to enter the conversation, or maybe she's just not interested. Interventions are:
Low level: Ask for input or questions from those who haven't shared.
Mid level: Share the importance of each person assessing what she might have to add to the group.
High level: Break into small groups with a specific output expected, such as a list that includes one suggestion from each of the group's members for ways to improve the customer service experience, or privately ask for the opinion of those who aren't sharing and then ask them to share their response with the group.
Joking around: You know the joker types — they're always the first with a witty remark. They may want attention from the group, or they may just use humor to get through tough situations. They often have great ideas if you can break through the silliness. Interventions are:
Low level: Be upfront and clear that you acknowledge the speaker's sense of humor; ask for realistic ideas as well.
Mid level: Inform the speaker that the humor is getting in the way of hearing other people state what's important to them.
High level: Remind the speaker of the goal for the day and ask the speaker to hold off on the humor until the team completes the goal.
Exiting: Yikes! When someone walks out, she's either not interested or highly emotional. Either way, a public exit is a distraction to the group; in fact, distracting the group just may be the motivation behind her grand exit. Interventions are:
Low level: Ask the person if she's willing to stay and share what's happening.
Mid level: Give the person permission to go. Acknowledge the walkout to the group and allow them to discuss it briefly if they feel the need.
High level: Contact the person after the meeting to discuss the issues.
Showing a skeptical attitude: Skeptics are unhappy and troubled no matter what happens. They can sour a meeting without a word. They may have valid reasons to complain, but heckling and using aggressive body language aren't positive ways to handle tough situations. Interventions are:
Low level: Ask the speaker to express her idea or concerns by describing what she'd like to see happen rather than making it clear what she doesn't want.
Mid level: Ask what it would take for her to believe and trust that things can be different.
High level: Ask her to hold her comments about the past, and explain to her that the group is now focusing on future solutions and ideas. Talk to her privately about the group's need for her support, and consider giving her a leadership role in a smaller group.
You can divide any large group into smaller ones in a number of ways: by counting off, using birth month, or pulling names out of a hat. However, in a meeting focused on resolving a conflict, do a little strategic thinking and assign people based on your desired outcome.
Note
Hearing from all perspectives in conflict discussions is important, so diversify the groups by job, rank, or departments so that different sides are represented. This approach breaks down cliques and creates an even playing field. Individuals who are resistant to discussing the situation may be more willing to consider the opposing point of view if they have the opportunity to discuss it in a small group setting.
Size matters! Use smaller groups for sharing personal information, developing ideas, and brainstorming solutions.
Groups of two or three are great for more open sharing. They work well when people are new to the team, or when emotions are running high, or when people feel a need for safety.
Groups of four or five are good when you want more energy for defining problems and generating ideas.
Groups of six or more are useful for team-building. In a group this size, people have to wait longer before they can speak, creating patience in some and encouraging leadership in others.
Small group work requires focus; a group without focus will be unproductive and could end up creating a new conflict. Be sure that your instructions are clear and concise — everyone should know what your expectations are. Allow for questions in the large group before you break out to smaller groups or you'll spend too much time reiterating your expectations to each small group.
Assigning roles minimizes cliques, provides for a freer exchange of views, and allows you to place troublemakers or uninterested parties in positions where they must engage in the discussion. Each group needs a scribe to write down ideas, a reporter to convey those ideas to the larger group, and a facilitator to manage the conversation.
As the main group facilitator, you're responsible for keeping time for the whole group. Set a time limit for the small group work and ask the groups to be prepared to report back to the large group. Their presentation should focus on highlights of the group discussion, key topics, conclusions, and recommendations.
Even knowing the time limit for their work, small groups can have a tendency to focus on the past. Each small group facilitator should be sensitive to the need for people to express their opinions but also be aware of moving the group forward. Give small group leaders permission to use language like, "I can see how difficult this has been for you. What ideas do you have to resolve the issue?"
Small group work can include prioritizing a list generated by the larger group, finding weak spots in current systems, identifying potential snags in suggested solutions, or brainstorming on any number of issues. Regardless of the assignment, consider these guidelines:
Provide focus and be clear about your expectations. For example, if a group is brainstorming, remind the members that they shouldn't also be evaluating or prioritizing ideas. Help groups by posting what the task is at each station: "Remember, your task is to brainstorm ideas only."
Circulate around the room, moving from group to group to answer questions and intervening if flare-ups occur or if groups lose focus. Be careful to allow people the privacy and confidentiality they need — having a manager overhear the conversation could inhibit them.
Prepare small groups for reentry to the large group by calling an end to the task and giving them five minutes or so to clarify their findings. Give them a break before rejoining the large group to settle any last-minute confusion.
Each group needs a chance to share new insights and highlights. The process you choose depends on the goal for the meeting and the number of participants in attendance. If the group is large, you need someone to capture and record the ideas shared by the small group reporters.
The goal of coming back together is to get all the ideas in a central location, write them down on a whiteboard or flip chart, and then have the group decide which items are the most important. Follow these steps:
Have each reporter share the ideas from the small groups.
It's normal for some ideas to overlap, so clarify whether each idea is truly different from what has already been noted.
Before each reporter sits down, ask group members if they have any additional thoughts.
After you list all the ideas, lead the large group in an exercise to prioritize the topics.
Which ideas do they think are most important to the group's efforts to move forward? I often let everyone share their two cents by giving them two votes that they can place anywhere on the list. This is an efficient way for everyone to have a voice but doesn't drag out voting and campaigning for certain ideas. It also demonstrates, in a very real way, the ownership the group has in the solution.
Summarize the work the team accomplished at the meeting and take some time for the group to celebrate what has been done while you look forward together.
Help the group determine a purpose or goal statement for any future work. This establishes a clear direction, keeping them moving forward with a task, goal, and focus in mind. Discuss how the team will keep communication open and what they need for future meetings. Facilitate a discussion on how they'll handle difficulties or unanticipated issues that come up, and how everyone will have access to new information.
When you have a focus for the future, assign concrete tasks and actions that meet the team's goal or purpose statement. This action plan is a document that group members can look to when they have questions. Action plans include
What the tasks are
Who is responsible for what
When assignments are due
How the follow-up will be done
Groups thrive when they can brainstorm ideas, problem solve, develop alternatives, and take action together. By setting benchmarks, the group can easily identify its progress and successes. For example, measuring employee satisfaction and setting a benchmark to increase the current average by two points shows the team that things are getting better when the goal is met. Similarly, if a conflict concerns the glitches in a company process, creating a benchmark to sell more widgets or spend less time filling out forms gives individuals something concrete to work toward.
Report progress to all team members through a newsletter, by e-mail, or by reconvening the group. Consistent information assures members that progress is continuing.
Finally, subtly assess and observe your team to determine if employees are using new skills or tools to resolve problems, or taking personal responsibility for resolving issues on their own, or communicating well during the follow-up time. These are all points of reference that your work is paying off.